This blog is my (previously) long-inactive main account. I’ll probably reblog reference material and random cool stuff here.
ALTI’ve gotten more followers recently, so to clarify, there won’t be any interest-specific content. (But thank you guys, your interactions always brighten my day).
Edit: I’ve done it
I found the queue limit!
(Enjoy the extra reblogs)
Sex is good and all but have you ever had your hairdresser scratch your scalp during a shampoo with the vigor of an embittered 17th century Puritan washerwoman? Perfection.
Why is this the one
I’m so sorry Muse but it’s because having a hairdresser scratch your scalp like she’s trying to exfoliate your very soul is one of the great pleasures in life.
It is but omg why is the post alive again 😭😭😭
The beginning.
I want to fucking wrap my car around a tree and die
I can’t name an older cat photo, but I’m sure one prior to 1880 has to exist somewhere… From the 1870s, I have the following dog photos, for example:
1870: Children with dog
Circa 1870: Portrait of a man and woman with their dogs
1875: Dog with pipe in mouth by the Minnesota Historical Society
1875: Myers’ dog
I’ve also found one “cat” photo from 1852, taken by Don Juan, Comte de Montizón:
not to "trying to be chill but can't help noticing how misogyny bleeds through the cracks etc etc" but once you realize that almost none of the cute disney comic relief sidekicks are women you can't unsee it. like that thing only exists to do some slapstick and look cute for plushies. why can't it be a woman. why are ALL of them he/him. it's driving me fucking insane
there is a very specific type of political enlightenment when you allow yourself to acknowledge bad people can be attractive and funny and intelligent and still be bad people because those things don’t quantify morality
“i’ve never met a pretty racist” “republican makeup” etc etc is all just enforcing the idea that being conventionally unattractive is a moral failing. stop doing that. it’s an actively dangerous idea to spread
use this map whenever a white northerner starts talking about california, the southwest, or the south with derision or scorn
I’m just thinking about how many times I’ve heard my dad on a long call with an obvious scammer and I’ll start begging him to get off the phone because I always think he’s a very easy mark and he’ll just keep going and then after a while he’ll say something like “I died 20 years ago” and hang up.
Virgin Millennial Daughter with 20 hrs of screentime a day: Dad! They’re scamming you! Dad! Stop! They will take your savings and your identity! Hang up before they SWAT you!
Chad Boomer dad with a flip phone he has not recharged since 2014: Well gee I wish I could give you my bank account number after you spent all this time on the phone explaining this car deal with me but I don’t have access to my finances because I am in Rikers for felony murder.
I haven't actively used this site in years but this grabbed my imagination so thoroughly I had to draw it
wow that really is calvin's dad energy
[Image description: Comic strip in the style of Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin's dad is on the phone and says "Why, yes, I am in the market for a new car!" Calvin, depicted as a punk-ish teen girl, is passing by. As the person on the other end of the phone blathers about money and cars, Calvin yells at her dad: "Dad! They're scamming you! Dad! Stop! They'll take your savings and identity!" She throws her arms in the air and cries, "Hang up before-" Her dad interrupts by calmly telling the person on the phone, "Well gee I wish I could give you my bank account number after you spent all this time on the phone explaining this car deal with me but I don’t have access to my finances because I am in Rikers for felony murder." Calvin stares at her dad, stunned. He smiles up at her and says, "Next time I'm going to say I'm dead!" End description.]
from impossible to difficult to unfamiliar to familiar to easy to automatic
come up with hand positions to do for each step and then you can repeat this one silently, by the way. to cheer yourself up in the library without talking out loud
i am not a very good artist but you get the general idea
One of my favorite genres of post
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ALTI have these saved in a folder called "wrong picture, Kronk"
may you one day soon find the courage to open the tubberware container in the back of the fridge inshallah
@abx5 how does it feel to have single handedly saved the lives of thousands?
#put it in the deepest and coldest part of the freezer for a few days before dealing with it #it wont save you but it will minimize the stench
#if it's plastic throw it away#the mould is in the plastic now I'm sorry it's ok just throw it out#if it's glass do the freezer trick and clean it (via @sleepymccoy)
I feel like this will save a few more people.
Hey.
I need you to get up again.
I know. I know it sucks. I know it hurts. I know everything in front of us looks terrible and frightening. I know you're tired and just want to stop and rest and not move, but you have to get up again if you can.
I'm here with you. I'll help you if I can, and there’s others too that'll help, and all you need to do is start and we'll help out. But also? We're all proud of you for making it as far as you did this time. And I know we can get through the rest of it.
But you have to get up. To prove you can. To spite the ones who said you can't. Even if it's the slowest most dragged out step forwards it's still moving and still better than anything they ever did. So come on up. We've got you.
If you need, I'll even hold your hand, all right?
this one needed audio, too. So here you all go.
Thanks, I needed that
