avad, posts by tag: dreams - LiveJournal

Notes from the month....journal snippets and memories....

initial install @Tribeca w/Beth, Perry, Tapp, Jeff, Matt, etc

work on Prayers Long (2pieces)...painting and 'lighting'...coloring the nails each day....

install Prayers Long (through darkness and rising)with Brent @ night Tribeca
drink and apps at Sazon Puerto Rican Cuisine- delish!- chewing on sugarcane in drink (Mojito Sazon)quesadillas de ropa vieja, and brent's delicious soup with pieces of pasteles-tasting...ahhh my senses and memories ignited. love feeling, music, decor. hot pink, orange, black.( Collapse )

I may repost and reread this dream every year on 9/11 until I fully understand the implications:

Dream from 8/11/01

Ok this New Orleans under water thing is just way too surreal.
I am not quite able to wrap my head around it as reality.
*staring at pics*
*remembering the streets before*
WHAT is going ON here. so horrible. to have everything gone...house...loved ones..
and now sharks and things from a ruined aquarium...wha?!?! *wake from weird nightmare please*

Also reminds me of one of those old dreams of course.

I want to cry.
I knew it was coming. *sigh*
Dreamt this so many years ago...and the feeling of urgency...the questions/challenges...HOW do we use these evolving technologies and the surges of attention/energy for the GOOD of humanity, not just corporate greed?? The same technology has the power to totally change our economic system to symbiotically support areas of great need...developing countries...areas of suffering...The dream indicated that it would have to be emergent WITH the technology...the infrastructure would have to be PREDESIGNED to benefit the charitable organizations...and the launching of it would be immense, collaborative, exciting, heralding a new world possibility...of cooperation. Everyone wanting to be a part of it and to watch it grow.

And now almost 6 years later I've really done nothing (I didn't know HOW- it felt so beyond me!!) and I watch as it all happens...but with the bent we were hoping somehow to avert. the memes propogating here are 'go spend and support our corporate greed' instead of all the beautiful memes that could be reaching the masses.
"There has to be a vision...so compelling...that it thwarts the natural tendency to selfishness...rewiring the pleasure-centers of the brain to connect to benevolent action strongly...a new vision of the self...as part of a benevolent organism...." ( Collapse )

And this is the way it happens, I tell you. The universe is THIS way. It astounds you and caresses you sometimes.
We stop at Borders tonight...and I look through some magazines while having a yummy (free!) caramel latte....and I stop and gawk at the most beautiful sepia photo of a young boy seemingly READING to a big beautiful elephant! I write down the website listed...and come home and land here: ashesandsnow.org
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot IMAGINE a more perfect capturing of my dream!!!!!!!!!I am in a bit of shock. A beautiful, moved, intense shock.
If you scroll through the pics...there are all these with the elephant...head down...against. and the feeling is just..oh my SO much like the dreammmm...my sweeet sweeet elephant! It's you!! It's me!! It's...
oh I am so tempted to get that catalog. Or at least the one small book on elephants...
how much is 25 euros??!!
Can you believe this??

I dreamt many things this morning...tidal wave again...holding breath as it passes over me...somehow getting into a hotel and pulling myself and an elevator up manually using rails in the elevator shaft and all my strength..rooftop...B's sister looking out to the horizon, ready to become her 'alter-ego', B's mom being brought in by the police, traumatized by the wave, stuttering, broken sanity. She had been 'bringing Christmas' to a native tribe, was wearing a beaded necklace gift from them. But now, had gone insane.:(

But another part of the dream was my favorite:
I had an elephant.
A beautiful huge full-sized elephant. And we loved eachother utterly and beyond.
I was wiping dust and sand off it's big beautiful face so slowly and we looked into eachother's eyes with Love.
Oh such love. Makes me smile to remember.
I pressed on its left shoulder in such a way to tell it to lie down...He needed to, exhausted. Then I curled up right there on the trunk by the face and we slept as we 'always did'. My elephant and I.

As you may have noticed, I hadn't been able to post about the tsunami. Been working up to it I guess?....*sigh*...trying to find perspective.
The tsunami is a recurring element that I've been dreaming about for many many years. And though I dreamt that NYC was destroyed exactly one month before 9/11....and I've dreamt so many strange encounters the day or week before they happen....and I really really am starting to accept this as part of my life...I never wanted to think of the tsunami dreams as anything but metaphor. Sure, there was a part of me that supposed that it might be the way I would die eventually...because the visuals and details were so VIVID....but mostly I thought of it differently. Signifying metaphorical change...evolution of perspective...
but
Now this.
What may be the greatest natural disaster of the century?....ugh...*exhale*
So, great. Thanks. Thanks for the warnings. I feel so..so...helpful. really.
*choking on sarcasm*

*sigh*
Ok,let's move on to dream visions that I do feel optimistic about. And let's give them a bit more seriousness since well...I'm not about to risk it, you do as you want, call me a loon or a witch or whatever. From another very powerful dream...I KNOW that the thing that will/can save humanity is 'when everyone decides to do something together' for the benefit of humanity. And this is where I got the idea for the 10% club. A voluntary donation vow that links the individual with the fates of those around the world. This tsunami may actually turn out to be the tipping point I've been imagining that would have to happen...the trigger in our awareness of how much we can do...if Everyone gives a little. The dream said it would be with the power of the web.(this before I was using computers btw)and before I read about Buckminster Fuller (I was led to HIM by a short dream of NYC under a dome...which I later found an exact image of in a book..a proposal by Fuller). Ok so we see dream patterns, no? Wouldn't you be paying attention to certain things if you were me?

SO, with great anticipation and hope I am watching the counter on Amazon.com....which records the Millions that have been collected just through that site alone for the relief effort. (Last I checked it was at over 13 million). I donated my 10% of my paycheck through there and will donate the 10% from all the art checks once I get them (should be this week)also through there....just to help move that number along. Because I NEED this to reach the tipping point. IF Amazon.com will be the portal for the time being, great. It's already set up...and has the trust of millions of people to handle their credit cards. (In the dream there is another portal...one I'm supposed to be working on believe it or not).
*sigh*
OK,let's do it. Let's show how much we can do collaboratively with our Threads of Empathy.
THis has to be ongoing. The nature of this disaster is so huge...what has to be done to help people get back on their feet goes way past immediate water and food. Let's do it. Let's do what needs to be done and keep doing it.
Because they are us and we Are them. And we Must.
TO think we are separated is Illusion.
I may not know exactly what is in store for us all....but I have had a glimpse of something wonderful that is Possible. Is a Choice. I really hope we decide to do it.

Back from Florida...from spending some sweet holiday time with the fam.
Each year I try to make a little something handmade...that I can pour some good energy into and distribute to the family. It has varied from micro-nailprayer pieces to ornaments to little books. This year I made ornaments again...this time inscribed with a mantra from a dream...and in order to explain a bit why, I wrote out the dream and printed it out on little scrolls to go in each bag along with the ornament...and pasted a black and white seagull onto the front of each bag. I started them at home but had to finish them in florida...setting up a workspace on my parent's kitchen table. It became a great bonding time with my dad too as I cajoled him into painting a bit with me into the wee hours(he's a wonderful artist and hasn't painted in Way Too Long). We had wine and listened to some Spanish music that we both knew almost by heart...and I shared with him verbally the dream I later wrote and printed for the gifts. Digging in his collage box he found a perfect seagull....intricately cut out of magazine paper...exactly what I had in mind for the front of the bags. The next day I copied it for each of the bags...


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Yesterday morning I had the craziest dream...woke dumbfounded.
I had been part of a group of people sent through a humiliating bootcampish prisoner-ish line-up obstacle course like area. Several guards revelling in their positions of power and making up humiliations as we went a long. Lots of crawling on all fours...heads down, hands over heads, rushing as they laughed.
This went on for quite a while. It was terrible.And part of a whole evil 'revolution' of sorts.

Then somehow I am in a white fairly bright room...and I am gazing at these 3D models....toylike but so UNBELIEVABLY intricate, so unfathomably detailed and precise... a SANE person could NOT have made them. It was the genius obsession of Absolute Madness. In particular I remember looking at this ice realm...with a pond and caves and excrutiatingly intricate patterned/crystal formations in the ice....all this made somehow by hand...with such precision...there were layers...like a large wedding cake...in which other realms were hidden...and on the bottom layer the divisions were vertical slicelike...in mathematical perfection...revealing an inner chamber if looked at from one exact direction. I cannot explain in words how crazy the details were in this. All I can say is that in the dream and then even in waking I still believed/believe it was impossible for someone to even be able to see such a thing...that it was not of this world.

In the dream I knew that the maker was in the room and that he was Insane to such a degree that it was just inhuman....and I lifted my eyes from the models and looked at the face. This man..was the leader of the whole 'system' that was being implemented outside...the reason for the prisoners...the person behind this malignant 'revolution'.His mind was so complex and convoluted...autistic immensely dangerous genius. So many things going through my mind but I felt it important to relay something about my taking in of these models he made..my appreciation despite the obvious madness that made them obviously repugnant somehow. I looked into his eyes with my head cocked to one side...and everything I could not say coming out of my eyes.

And in a sort of quick gasp movement he backed away and disappeared in a flash. Above the white bed where he had been (illness?)was a dark brown wood cubbeyhole, fairly large...and out from that space came a PUPPET-KING....a marionette...wooden and elaborately dressed and painted...(again the vividness of this visual was shocking- I so wish I could share)and the puppet 'looked' at me and began to go into convulsions of some sort. Somehow this triggered a realization in me...and I said to myself "Ah, this is where the Puppetmaster falls in love with the Girl" and I smiled to myself understanding the story I was about to be a part of as if remembering a very rich classic ancient tale.

You see, the 'PuppetMaster' was in fact the Leader-madman...He could not deal with the new emotion that he felt when the girl (played by me)looked at him with the tinge of understanding that he had never experienced before...and so he assigned the experience to one of his split-personalities...in the form of the puppetmaster (which was but one of many but a main one).

And now the drama would have to work itself out...in that there would of course be a battle of sorts between the leader personality and this 'puppet' aspect of himself and all the other personalities...and it would be a long and dramatic story that kept the audience (me also even though I was playing a role) at the edge of their seat. It had more of the quality of The Nutcracker than of a modern tale....I so wish I could play for you those scenes I saw so clearly...
I just don't understand how my mind could have come up with the amount of visual detail it did..
SO CRAZY.

I'm having more weird dream/realities. About two weeks ago I dreamt I went by the
house that I grew up in, met my old neighbor, who then turned into my mom
and we decided to go inside the old house because she had the key. We were
looking around inside and then the new owner came home, a nice Spanish
woman. In real life that week I need to get special art materials and decide to go drive by the house on my way
west (it's in the middle of LI) and lo and behold, my old neighbor's garage door is open so
with some feeling of weirdness, I go to see if she is there. She is not, but
her son is (all grown up) and I talk to him awhile...then I'm about to get
back in my car and a woman comes out of MY old house...and so I can't help
it, I run over and ask "Do you live there?" and she says yes...and I tell
her I grew up there from the age of 3 til oh about 21 (10 yrs ago). And she absolutely
insists that I come inside and look around!!!So there I am inside the house of my childhood...telling her which room was mine and which my sister's... and yes, she was a very nice
Spanish woman. weeeeirdness.
Then two days ago I dream that my next door neighbor here stops by
unannounced and then turns into my landlord and is asking to look around and
check the bathroom (we've had a minor leak for months and months) and I am
upset because it's all a mess and I'm totally unprepared. So what happens yesterday? You guessed it. 8:30 AM the landlord and a plumber are at
my door completely unannounced and I'm in pajamas and the house is a mess and they (very politely)
ask if it's at all possible to check the bathroom for an estimate.
So I guess I had had a warning...but I didn't heed it. SO my bad. ergh. But
how weird is that.
Life is strange,kids, I tell you. I don't get it.