not to be dramatic but i need a nap, a hug, 20k in cash, and to disappear for 3 months

a red string of fate can be a leash. if you're enlightened

reiterating this point here

ao3 is an incredibly simple website, if you struggle so much that you deem it unusable then you may need to educate yourself of the bare basics of how the internet works

returning to the classical text:

i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

Pro-censorship wattpad refugees drama is so funny to me because when I started using ao3 as a kid I was a devout mormon and I thought that reading anything even remotely pornagraphic was a sin and would ruin my life. So when I was 13 and found ao3 I went "oh awesome I found a fanfic website with a filtering system so I won't ever randomly stumble into porn. This is great! I was really worried about seeing something I didn't want to see on the other platforms." I didn't read any smut online until like three years later. If a mormon 13 year old can figure out 'don't like don't read' wattpad users can too cmon you guys i believe in you.

Con Fuoco: Chapter 20 ~ A Memory, I

This is a chapter with only an animation. There are two moments I wanted to animate and place between plot-heavy chapters. This is the first one!

🌙 ~ “ The lion and his cubs. ”

@legitimately

listening to critics ❌

listening to ur bonerrr ✅✅✅

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

there was a great study a few years that went into the whole "ppl online are bigger jerks than irl cuz theres a virtual wall and no repercussions" and the researchers were expecting to see that be the case but it turns out that people who were really angry or argumentative online were also found to just be assholes in person and people who were pretty patient and nice online were found to be patient and nice in real person as well

and it just debunked that whole cynical idea that people will naturally be mean if theres no punishment for it

source another source

the researchers found that being online didnt make people more hostile, but that being online allowed already hostile people to dominate forum conversations, and the less aggressive people were much less likely to reply or engage, ending in just the aggressive people bickering at eachother

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

Unironically I have advice for this: tighten up your muscles as hard you can for a good 10 seconds and then release. Do it a couple more times if you need to. It tricks your body into thinking that the reason for your fear response has now passed and the adrenaline can now chill out.

fom vale !!!! fom vale!!! eek!!!

finally got fom and oh my god ryis is such a sweetie pie????/ :((( had to make the little fawny a farmer now ryisvale is real ......sniffle🥹

threw in the emo guy too because i like him alot too.....

M so glad I got the opportunity to draw my beloveds for the @hsrpinkzine!! M uh... very normal bout em. /COUGHS.

"oof ! hehe did you wait a long time?" He grins softly, eyes crinkling into those beloved halfmoons that they adored so much.

"yeah you took your time..." They mumble with narrowed eyes before impulsively pressing a small peck against the apple of his cheek.

"well...now we can take our time yeah?" Cee looks at him curiously. What is this man planning?

"Hi nice to meet you I'm Harumasa Asaba, an executive officer from section 6" He had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he gently nudges their chin up, 'play along' his eyes seem to say.

Cee smiles helplessly before rolling their eyes.

[welcome home sunflower boy]

Screams utc !

The official Mads ~Ages of Mistria~ post, brought to you by my obsession with this game's dialogue and my best guesses. None of this has been or likely ever will be confirmed. I tried to keep this firmly grounded in evidence from the game and not colored by my personal preferences. Feel free to let me know what y'all think!

Hayden - 40

Definitely the oldest bachelor. He’s got that salt and pepper thing going on. This guy has been working that farm for a long time and acts as something of a mentor (or even uncle?) figure to the younger guys, like March and Ryis. Men in their thirties also don’t typically say things like “you’re making me feel young again.” They all think they are still cheeky lads. 

Balor - 33

Balor has been around (literally). He’s been running his mysterious cart business for long enough to have a very long list of connections and sources, which would have taken time and trust to develop. Socially, he doesn’t seem to associate with the younger crowd as much as he does with Hayden/Valen/Juniper. He looks a little younger than those three, but I feel strongly that this is a man in his 30s. Sometimes guys in their early 30s look really youthful and smooth and shiny but you can just tell by the ghost of constant awareness of having more work to do tomorrow that haunts the corners of their eyes that they are not VERY young. 

Eiland - 24

He can’t be MUCH younger than Adeline, as they appear close in age in the portrait you can see in the manor house. I’m going to estimate there’s a 2-3 year gap, pretty standard for most families. Eiland also just gives me “guy in his mid-20s” energy. He’s still a little boyish and wants to play around sometimes, but he’s not new to his field of work and he conducts himself with grace. 

Ryis - 22

He recently left his family home to come out to work under his uncle. He’s best friends with March, also young and up-and-coming. Ryis has too much hope and whimsy in his soul to have experienced the soul-sucking way of life in the Capital well into adulthood. I am putting him squarely at “recent college grad” age. 

March - 21

March is the only bachelor that other characters frequently refer to as being “young.” He makes a point to mention that he’s been the champion blacksmith three years running, but why only three? Probably because they don’t let minors compete. Aha! He also drinks like a guy who hasn’t yet learned why he shouldn’t drink like that.

Celine - 21

The youngest bachelorette. We know she moved out of her parents’ house pretty recently. She’s also Dell’s sister, so her being any older than early 20s seems unlikely, unless Nora was a teen mom or something, which seems wildly out of character. Nora also mentions that Celine struck out on her own younger than Nora herself did. There’s also quite a lot of dialogue of Nora fretting over Celine being mature enough to hack it outside of the family home. Celine is definitely very young. 

Reina - 22

She has some big sister energy towards Celine, so I suspect she’s the older of that bestie duo. I think she also has to be pretty young for the same reason as Celine. She has two little siblings who appear to be maybe 7-ish and 9-ish. And Josephine only looks to be in her forties. 

Adeline - 26 

She’s running a whole town and the other townsfolk clearly look up to her as a leader. She’s also never remarked upon as being shockingly young for this kind of responsibility—just impressively young to be handling it so well. Based on the family portrait, she can’t be too much older than Eiland, and they both played with Celine & Reina as kids and must therefore can’t be too much older than they are, either.

Juniper - 35 

This is the toughest call for me. Honestly just based on appearances, she could be anywhere from 25 to 40. She could even be using a youth potion and actually be 80. Who knows! Let’s say mid 30s. She has the specific hotness of a slightly older baddie. She seems to prefer the company of other more mature women like Terithia, Elsie, and begrudgingly, Valen. I do not think she is in the same age group as the younger girls. 

Valen - 39

She’s been the town doctor for a while. She was childhood friends with Hayden, so they have to be around the same age. She also doesn’t look sort of vaguely ageless like Juniper—this is clearly a woman nearing 40. And she looks gooooooood.