school's good doing pretty good just worried bout gov i'll be fine Jake's good he wants to walk i hope it's soon still not working i miss paydays one day
I hate having to apologize to my son. It makes me cry even more. I feel the worst I think I've ever felt. Because of me, my son won't see his dad just about every day of the week like he use to.
I can't stop crying ... it's horrible and I can't concentrate on anything.
Why did this have to happen?
I always pictured myself having a baby, but I've never been able to picture my wedding. All this just proves my thoughts right. I mean, if the man I want to spend the rest of my life with can't love me, then how am I supposed to make someone else happy. Besides ... I don't want another person.
Jacob only has one dad. And he's a great dad who loves him more than anyother man ever could.
I just don't know how to do this alone. I never had to and I never wanted to. I don't know raising my son or having a family without him.
I love walking into the restroom and seeing his toothpaste. I love then when I get my tooth brush, his is right next to mine. I love theat his axe body wash is in the shower and that his clothes from the day before clutters my room. I love him lots! I love that when I spill back into bed at 6 am in tears, he puts his arm around me and kisses my back.
Things have changed a lot in the past 2 1/2 weeks and I couldn't be happier (granted the 4 or 5 am feeding I'm miserable and in tears but I'm still happy). Nick has finally fallen into the family mind frame and things have changed between us for the better.
My son is amazing and adorable. He makes the cutest little sounds. Even when we're so frustrated and stressed, he'll make one of his noises and we laugh.
I'm glad Nick's here to rub my back before we pass out at night and there to give me a hug and kiss while I feed the baby and he's out the door for work.
Everything went well. Nick almost passed out. The baby was SURPRISINGLY healthy. He's a little under weight ... he was born at 4 lbs 14 oz and 17.75 inches. Born at 7:51 am and I didn't see him till 1:30 pm. I was in suuuuuch a bad mood cause I wanted to sleep ... I was ready to yell at the nurses. Those nurses need to get on the same page man ... some were sooo nice others I just wanted them to go away. The baby sleeps like nobodys business ... we have to wake him to feed him. They discharged me this morning and weren't gonna let the baby come home till tomorrow. HOWEVER ... his doctor was mine so she said she might let him leave later. A NICE nurse saw that he was feeding well and put in a good word so FINALLY!!! they let him come home w/me.
Well ... Time to feed mr. Jacob Nicholas Prieto
I love him ... he's sooo teeny tiny!
OH! turns out that me choosing the c-section for HIS safety was a good choice. after they stiched and stapled me up, my doctor told me that he wouldn't have made it out the other way. I woulda been in labor for about 36 - 48 hours THEN been sliced like a turkey!
- Work's been slow and for once ... I don't mind - My tail bone hurts most when I sit in restaurant booths - I wish I was in school this semester - In a month Nick and I will be the proud owners of a little devil lol ... Scary, but exciting - My brothers came to visit ... I missed them, but Andrew was in the WORST mood ever - I quickly remembered how moody he can get - My birthday's in less than 2 months =) - My brother's will be back to visit between March 10th and the 15th sometime. yay - We ordered me a new bedroom set ... Mommy is paying for some of it =D - Nick wants to go into forensics ... he's a CSI junkie! - I can't wait to go back to school in the summer ... I feel like a bum when I'm not in school - Nick's supposed to go back to community too ... I hope he does, he seems happy about it. - So far, I've only gained 22 lbs ... I'm at 122 lbs. I use to be 96. - Cousin wants to have a baby. She lied to Eric about it though! LOL - My mom's excited and we're getting along great. - I love my new family. - Nick's mom called herself my mother in law ... it was scary and weird
- I'm pretty content with life and it feels great.
- I've come so far and I'm happy ... Is it bad that I still have a list of things before I can be as happy as him???
*** Happy Haloween guys! ***
- This is my first halloween spent "in". I haven't done ANYTHING ... I feel like I'm not allowed.
- Weird ... we found my brothers first love ... the girl who broke his heart. a month or so later ... I see MY first love, the guy who broke MY heart. The two of them were in our lives at the same time .. odd.
- Hi brex! I just had an urge to tell you hi! I hope everything's well!
- My brother's won't be here till January 3rd ... but I'm excited. It feels like I'm 8 and I'm excited about christmas. I miss my brothers ... a lot.
- I wrote a 14 page research paper in 7 hours. I learned my lesson to do it AT LEAST the day BEFORE it's due! lol
- schools good, my family is good, mommy is healing from her surgery just fine and I feel dandy.
I'm eating strawberry cheescake icecream ... there's no fucking cake pieces in it! What a rip off!
I'm dreading saturday ... I have math and the people are a bunch of MORONS!
Mommy has surgery tomorrow.
but yeah, I'm alvie and currently ... incredibly happy! I love mommy I love and miss my brothers they'll be here in january I love Nick more than ever WE love my tummy We've found our reason to be happy
Thank you Marsee for all your help and for believing that only the best would come. I love that you're like family to us both and that you've been there for both he and I for the past year. You're my sexy hero w/the funny kitty! <3
