Storytimeee!
Title- The Cat Owner
Series- Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Pairing- KuroFai
Owned By- CLAMP
A/N- This is quite possibly the first KuroFai oneshot I ever wrote for Tsubasa. At that point I was going off what I had read online and what I learned from Celes Arc along with another fanfic I had gotten inspiration off of. There are several inconsistencies that I caught but I do hope you enjoy it nonetheless <3
Thanks to all the tests . com for the test! I took it alongside working on this story.
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Another strange land, more strange circumstances. If Fai remembered right, the name of this new land was Yuenna. It hadn’t taken long for the group to find a hotel, and there they discovered the beauty of wi-fi. Because of cost, they had gotten one room, and that’s where Fai had discovered the greatest invention of mankind.
The com-puu-ter.
Fai had stared at it in awe before merely touching the weird thing connected to it (a mouse was it?) and watching the computer screen turn on.
“Woah!” He claimed excitedly to Kurogane, the only other person in the room since Mokona, Sakura and Syaoran were downstairs questioning people about the feather. “It’s magical Kuro-poo!”
Kurogane growled, looking up from a particularly interesting manga he was reading. He had found it downstairs in the ‘library’ and though he’d never admit it to his companions, but he rather liked it. It was about a ninja, and it had a ton of fighting in it. Kurogane liked fighting. However, he was just about at the climax of the battle when Fai interrupted him.
“Shut up mage, I don’t care.”
Fai sniffed sadly at this muttering a “you’re a horrible person kuro-wanko.” Before putting his attention back to surfing the web. After a while he figured out some things and had made his way to google and was looking up random quizzes. One quiz caught his eye.
“Kuro-kuro! Come over here~!”
“Why the hell should I?”
Kurogane kept his head in his manga and Fai sighed again, turning around in the computer chair. “I just want to show you something. Kuro-myuu don’t you want to see?”
“No.”
The answer was short and concise and left Fai no room to argue. So the blond man merely stood up, shook his head, and made his way to the bathroom in his overly fluffy coat. They had kept their original clothing in this world, but luckily the person at the front desk didn’t find it too conspicuous. He just muttered something about ‘dang cosplayers…’
“Kuro-tan.” Fai said finally, when he reached the bathroom door. “I’m going to the bathroom, so don’t look at what’s on the computer while I’m in there okkk?”
Silence greeted Fai while he went inside the bathroom, closing the door as he silently snickered. He knew Kurogane would take the bait. It just would take some time.
After a while, Kurogane looked up at the computer, and then looked back at the manga. He did this for a while, resisting the temptation to see what the mage was looking at, especially since he had been told to stay away from it. But what if the blonde walked out and saw him? Kurogane couldn’t risk Fai learning that he actually had interest in what was on the computer screen. As the seconds ticked by, he managed to bury his urge until he couldn’t take it any longer.
“Arggg. I hate you magician.” Kurogane muttered to himself as he sat in the chair and stared at the page. He stared at the title of the page before going ‘WTF’ in his head. ‘Are you a good cat owner?’ Why was Fai looking at this crap?
He’d exit out of this page right away.
Thing was, he didn’t know how too.
So Kurogane stared at the webpage before taking a breath, swallowing his pride and reading the first question. He’d never forgive himself for doing this, but the line about ‘have you ever wondered if your cat hates you?’ got to him. Fai had always insistently referred to himself as a cat, and Kurogane wondered if he went here just as a joke to himself. There was /no/ way that Fai could hate him. He was too insanely obsessed for that. But… as the stupid saying went. Curiosity killed the cat…
‘What do you think is most important for your cat?’
Kurogane stared at the question, blinking as he read the multiple-choice answers.
Clothes
A Cat flap
A scratch post and toys
The dark haired man stared at the choices and went over them in his head. Clothes? Made sense, after all Fai was freakin obsessed with that long totally conspicuous coat of his. A Cat Flap? Kurogane did not know what the hell that was and didn’t want to know. And for the final answer, he knew that Fai didn’t have a scratch post…unless he was it. Yeah that must be it, that’s why the blond annoyed him all the time.
Kurogane clicked the third answer. Damn mage.
The second question appeared.
Your cat is playing with your favorite pair of socks. What do you do?
Take away your precious socks and give it your brand new trousers instead.
Kick your cat out of the house for the rest of the day.
Leave your cat playing as long as it doesn't damage your socks.
Kurogane had to think about this, scanning each option and thinking about it slowly. He decided it would be easier if he used his sword Souhi as an example. If Fai had been playing with Souhi, he knew it wouldn’t work to take it away, since the mage had an iron grip. If he kicked the blonde out of the house (what a great idea!) Syaoran and Sakura would get all upset, and he wouldn’t want to deal with that. So the 3rd option was the best choice, yet again.
Your cat doesn't know how to use the cat loo! What do you do?
“What the fuck?” Kurogane yelled aloud, slamming his hands against the desk. “What the crap is a cat loo?” Realizing that Fai was still in the bathroom however, he shut up and rolled his eyes as he read the answers.
Get a new cat loo.
Teach your cat how to use it!
Get a new cat.
Teach his cat to…There was no way in hell he’d teach Fai to use a fucking cat loo, whatever it was, and Fai was annoying enough, why get another cat that would be worse? Why get another cat loo either? This question was made of stupidity. He clicked the first answer anyway.
What do you do when your cat is hungry?
Give it some food of-course! (as long as it hasn't had too much today!)
Say "Stupid cat! Get your own food!"
No way! Your cat can't eat anything now! It's on a diet trying to reach size 0!
Woohoo, another pathetically hard question. Kurogane slammed “stupid cat blabla…” as idiotic as Fai was he was completely capable of going to the kitchen and pulling out some sugary crap or something. It wasn’t like Kurogane had to personally feed him everyday. (Just wait Kuro-tan…just wait). As for the Size 0 thing, if Fai got any thinner he’d probably die from starvation. Yup. That’s how the mage would die unless he tripped on a cat because he was too busy prancing around.
Now he was on question 5. Kurogane wondered why he was still taking this pathetic quiz. Maybe he was that bored. Maybe he secretly had an obsession for…NO NO NO NO. He focused on the next question.
Do you actually like cats?
YES!
Their OK. I only got one so I would have a mouse free home.
No. I hate my cat! Why did I even think about getting one?
Kurogane was about to press the last option when he felt himself pause. He always said that he hated Fai and he was annoyed everytime he had to put up with him but maybe in reality Fai wasn’t that bad. Insanely stupid maybe, or 100% phony… but when he showed his real side Kurogane actually liked it. The second choice was chosen.
How many times do you groom your cat?
Once a month.
Never!
Once a day or every other day.
Kurogane’s face twisted into disgust. If anything Fai ‘groomed’ him more then he would ever touch that blond. All appreciating thoughts of Fai flew out the window as he clicked the never option with so much force the mouse shook.
What are cats who are raising kittens/expecting kittens called?
Queens
Mums
Cats
The ninja raised an eyebrow as an image of Fai hugging Sakura forced itself into his mind. Hadn’t he said sometime before that he thought of Sakura as a daughter, and a ‘fellow kitty?’ Stupid mage, insisting they were this stupid family where he was the mommy and Kurogane was the daddy. He wasn’t a freakin daddy, not even to these kids. But based on what Fai rattled about ‘Mum’ seemed like the best answer.
You find that your house smells of cat wee. What do you do?
I need to take my cat to the doctor! It must have gone mad!
Phew, that stinks! I need to get it a new cat loo!
I'd better get my cat neutered.
First of all, Kurogane would brutally murder Fai if he made the apartment smell like ‘cat wee’. Idiot. The first option was tempting, but Fai was already mad. An instance like that wouldn’t change his already established insanity. Besides Kurogane hated doctors. They were kooks. What the hell was it with the loos again? And what the hell was neutering? Was it some way to deal with insane deranged cats? Kurogane went with that option. Seemed the safest.
Where can you buy cats? Sounds like a simple question but think about it!
In a furniture department.
At a cat sanctuary or animal rescue centre or cat show.
A pet shop you fool!
Where do you buy cats? Obviously you run into them at an insane witches house where you’re forced to go with them on some epic journey to collect some girls memories in the form of feathers along with this boy who’s pretty much her boy toy servant. But since that wasn’t an option Kurogane had to settle with one of these stupid responses. He chose the one with the word ‘fool’, because it’s the only one that sounded remotely near some way he’d answer.
What would happen if this quiz told you, you where a bad cat owner?
It is impossible to be a bad cat owner. They don't care how you treat them! All they do is eat, sleep and poop.
Then it must be wrong! I would do more quizzes but give in if they all say that.
I wouldn't be surprised.
The last question. The man was a little sad to see it end, but wait did he just say he was sad? Kurogane wouldn’t get sad at something like a stupid quiz about a cat. Fai forced him to take this quiz! Fai… Kurogane realized that Fai had been in the bathroom for a while now. Was he hurt or something? A twinge of concern passed through him before Kurogane sighed a ‘who cares’ and went back to the question. If it had been just a bit earlier he would’ve chosen the first option but the same feeling that passed through him at the ‘liking cats’ part swept through him again. Fai could do more then eat, sleep and poop. He could fight, he could feel, he was human. So reluctantly, Kurogane chose the last option. While he was admitting things to himself, he realized acted horribly to Fai. Sure the hyper man always got on his nerves, but didn’t he seem hurt whenever he was pushed away? Fai was human, even he was a stubborn brat and refused to show his emotions to others, obviously he must have them. The ninja hmmphed as he softly clicked the last option, re-thinking everything he had done in the past to Fai. Then finally he pressed the ‘check test results’ feeling a little upset.
What result would he get? The computer loaded slowly and Kurogane had the urge to throw it against the wall. He wanted his results, damnit! But he sat there patiently until the page finally loaded.
You don't make a very good cat owner. You might want to get a different pet instead! In fact, I'm sure your cat will one day run away - if it hasn't already!
“WHAT THE CRAP?” Kurogane yelled, slamming his fists against the desk. What the hell did it mean, saying he was a horrible cat owner, gosh, he’d like to see Fai put up with somebody annoying like himself. Would he of put up with it as long as the ninja had? No he would’ve given it up the first day. “Fucking computer.” He hissed, as Fai jumped out of the bathroom.
“Is something wrong Kuro-woof?”
Kurogane growled, standing in front of the computer screen. “Go away mage. I don’t want to see your filthy mug.”
“Aww Kuro-pin don’t say that! I know you like being around me!”
Fai tried to look at the computer screen out of curiosity and Kurogane pushed him away.
“I told you, get lost Fai.”
“You’re calling me ‘Fai?’” The blonde trilled, clapping his hands together like a little child. “I wonder what Kuro-cutie was looking up while Big Kitty was in the bathroom! It must be super duper important!”
“Just get…”
“You don’t make a good cat owner.” Fai managed to read as he slipped past Kurogane’s defense. “Oh how sweet! Kuro-pipi took the ‘Cat Owner’ Quiz! I knew my big puppy would!”
“Don’t call me that!” Kurogane hissed in defense but he knew it was too late to save his precious pride. He knew it was past the point of return once he clicked an answer for the first question. “And don’t tell the kids or that stupid manjuu I took this quiz or I’ll castrate you. Got that?”
“Yes Kuro-sama” Fai saluted, as Kurogane turned away growling, and mumbling something about finally getting to his manga. Before he could pick it up though, Fai had stopped him.
“Seriously though, don’t believe that quiz. Kuro-doggy is the best master Fai-kitty could ask for.”
Kurogane turned around, staring at Fai’s soft smile. His heart skipped a beat at seeing it, before turning away as a blush spread over his face. Fai continued only to stare innocently, wondering what was wrong.
“Just…whatever.” Kurogane crossed his arms and the two fell in silence once again.
Because just maybe, even if Kurogane would never admit it aloud, he was beginning to be fond of being Fai’s master too.
Series- Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Pairing- KuroFai
Owned By- CLAMP
A/N- This is quite possibly the first KuroFai oneshot I ever wrote for Tsubasa. At that point I was going off what I had read online and what I learned from Celes Arc along with another fanfic I had gotten inspiration off of. There are several inconsistencies that I caught but I do hope you enjoy it nonetheless <3
Thanks to all the tests . com for the test! I took it alongside working on this story.
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Another strange land, more strange circumstances. If Fai remembered right, the name of this new land was Yuenna. It hadn’t taken long for the group to find a hotel, and there they discovered the beauty of wi-fi. Because of cost, they had gotten one room, and that’s where Fai had discovered the greatest invention of mankind.
The com-puu-ter.
Fai had stared at it in awe before merely touching the weird thing connected to it (a mouse was it?) and watching the computer screen turn on.
“Woah!” He claimed excitedly to Kurogane, the only other person in the room since Mokona, Sakura and Syaoran were downstairs questioning people about the feather. “It’s magical Kuro-poo!”
Kurogane growled, looking up from a particularly interesting manga he was reading. He had found it downstairs in the ‘library’ and though he’d never admit it to his companions, but he rather liked it. It was about a ninja, and it had a ton of fighting in it. Kurogane liked fighting. However, he was just about at the climax of the battle when Fai interrupted him.
“Shut up mage, I don’t care.”
Fai sniffed sadly at this muttering a “you’re a horrible person kuro-wanko.” Before putting his attention back to surfing the web. After a while he figured out some things and had made his way to google and was looking up random quizzes. One quiz caught his eye.
“Kuro-kuro! Come over here~!”
“Why the hell should I?”
Kurogane kept his head in his manga and Fai sighed again, turning around in the computer chair. “I just want to show you something. Kuro-myuu don’t you want to see?”
“No.”
The answer was short and concise and left Fai no room to argue. So the blond man merely stood up, shook his head, and made his way to the bathroom in his overly fluffy coat. They had kept their original clothing in this world, but luckily the person at the front desk didn’t find it too conspicuous. He just muttered something about ‘dang cosplayers…’
“Kuro-tan.” Fai said finally, when he reached the bathroom door. “I’m going to the bathroom, so don’t look at what’s on the computer while I’m in there okkk?”
Silence greeted Fai while he went inside the bathroom, closing the door as he silently snickered. He knew Kurogane would take the bait. It just would take some time.
After a while, Kurogane looked up at the computer, and then looked back at the manga. He did this for a while, resisting the temptation to see what the mage was looking at, especially since he had been told to stay away from it. But what if the blonde walked out and saw him? Kurogane couldn’t risk Fai learning that he actually had interest in what was on the computer screen. As the seconds ticked by, he managed to bury his urge until he couldn’t take it any longer.
“Arggg. I hate you magician.” Kurogane muttered to himself as he sat in the chair and stared at the page. He stared at the title of the page before going ‘WTF’ in his head. ‘Are you a good cat owner?’ Why was Fai looking at this crap?
He’d exit out of this page right away.
Thing was, he didn’t know how too.
So Kurogane stared at the webpage before taking a breath, swallowing his pride and reading the first question. He’d never forgive himself for doing this, but the line about ‘have you ever wondered if your cat hates you?’ got to him. Fai had always insistently referred to himself as a cat, and Kurogane wondered if he went here just as a joke to himself. There was /no/ way that Fai could hate him. He was too insanely obsessed for that. But… as the stupid saying went. Curiosity killed the cat…
‘What do you think is most important for your cat?’
Kurogane stared at the question, blinking as he read the multiple-choice answers.
Clothes
A Cat flap
A scratch post and toys
The dark haired man stared at the choices and went over them in his head. Clothes? Made sense, after all Fai was freakin obsessed with that long totally conspicuous coat of his. A Cat Flap? Kurogane did not know what the hell that was and didn’t want to know. And for the final answer, he knew that Fai didn’t have a scratch post…unless he was it. Yeah that must be it, that’s why the blond annoyed him all the time.
Kurogane clicked the third answer. Damn mage.
The second question appeared.
Your cat is playing with your favorite pair of socks. What do you do?
Take away your precious socks and give it your brand new trousers instead.
Kick your cat out of the house for the rest of the day.
Leave your cat playing as long as it doesn't damage your socks.
Kurogane had to think about this, scanning each option and thinking about it slowly. He decided it would be easier if he used his sword Souhi as an example. If Fai had been playing with Souhi, he knew it wouldn’t work to take it away, since the mage had an iron grip. If he kicked the blonde out of the house (what a great idea!) Syaoran and Sakura would get all upset, and he wouldn’t want to deal with that. So the 3rd option was the best choice, yet again.
Your cat doesn't know how to use the cat loo! What do you do?
“What the fuck?” Kurogane yelled aloud, slamming his hands against the desk. “What the crap is a cat loo?” Realizing that Fai was still in the bathroom however, he shut up and rolled his eyes as he read the answers.
Get a new cat loo.
Teach your cat how to use it!
Get a new cat.
Teach his cat to…There was no way in hell he’d teach Fai to use a fucking cat loo, whatever it was, and Fai was annoying enough, why get another cat that would be worse? Why get another cat loo either? This question was made of stupidity. He clicked the first answer anyway.
What do you do when your cat is hungry?
Give it some food of-course! (as long as it hasn't had too much today!)
Say "Stupid cat! Get your own food!"
No way! Your cat can't eat anything now! It's on a diet trying to reach size 0!
Woohoo, another pathetically hard question. Kurogane slammed “stupid cat blabla…” as idiotic as Fai was he was completely capable of going to the kitchen and pulling out some sugary crap or something. It wasn’t like Kurogane had to personally feed him everyday. (Just wait Kuro-tan…just wait). As for the Size 0 thing, if Fai got any thinner he’d probably die from starvation. Yup. That’s how the mage would die unless he tripped on a cat because he was too busy prancing around.
Now he was on question 5. Kurogane wondered why he was still taking this pathetic quiz. Maybe he was that bored. Maybe he secretly had an obsession for…NO NO NO NO. He focused on the next question.
Do you actually like cats?
YES!
Their OK. I only got one so I would have a mouse free home.
No. I hate my cat! Why did I even think about getting one?
Kurogane was about to press the last option when he felt himself pause. He always said that he hated Fai and he was annoyed everytime he had to put up with him but maybe in reality Fai wasn’t that bad. Insanely stupid maybe, or 100% phony… but when he showed his real side Kurogane actually liked it. The second choice was chosen.
How many times do you groom your cat?
Once a month.
Never!
Once a day or every other day.
Kurogane’s face twisted into disgust. If anything Fai ‘groomed’ him more then he would ever touch that blond. All appreciating thoughts of Fai flew out the window as he clicked the never option with so much force the mouse shook.
What are cats who are raising kittens/expecting kittens called?
Queens
Mums
Cats
The ninja raised an eyebrow as an image of Fai hugging Sakura forced itself into his mind. Hadn’t he said sometime before that he thought of Sakura as a daughter, and a ‘fellow kitty?’ Stupid mage, insisting they were this stupid family where he was the mommy and Kurogane was the daddy. He wasn’t a freakin daddy, not even to these kids. But based on what Fai rattled about ‘Mum’ seemed like the best answer.
You find that your house smells of cat wee. What do you do?
I need to take my cat to the doctor! It must have gone mad!
Phew, that stinks! I need to get it a new cat loo!
I'd better get my cat neutered.
First of all, Kurogane would brutally murder Fai if he made the apartment smell like ‘cat wee’. Idiot. The first option was tempting, but Fai was already mad. An instance like that wouldn’t change his already established insanity. Besides Kurogane hated doctors. They were kooks. What the hell was it with the loos again? And what the hell was neutering? Was it some way to deal with insane deranged cats? Kurogane went with that option. Seemed the safest.
Where can you buy cats? Sounds like a simple question but think about it!
In a furniture department.
At a cat sanctuary or animal rescue centre or cat show.
A pet shop you fool!
Where do you buy cats? Obviously you run into them at an insane witches house where you’re forced to go with them on some epic journey to collect some girls memories in the form of feathers along with this boy who’s pretty much her boy toy servant. But since that wasn’t an option Kurogane had to settle with one of these stupid responses. He chose the one with the word ‘fool’, because it’s the only one that sounded remotely near some way he’d answer.
What would happen if this quiz told you, you where a bad cat owner?
It is impossible to be a bad cat owner. They don't care how you treat them! All they do is eat, sleep and poop.
Then it must be wrong! I would do more quizzes but give in if they all say that.
I wouldn't be surprised.
The last question. The man was a little sad to see it end, but wait did he just say he was sad? Kurogane wouldn’t get sad at something like a stupid quiz about a cat. Fai forced him to take this quiz! Fai… Kurogane realized that Fai had been in the bathroom for a while now. Was he hurt or something? A twinge of concern passed through him before Kurogane sighed a ‘who cares’ and went back to the question. If it had been just a bit earlier he would’ve chosen the first option but the same feeling that passed through him at the ‘liking cats’ part swept through him again. Fai could do more then eat, sleep and poop. He could fight, he could feel, he was human. So reluctantly, Kurogane chose the last option. While he was admitting things to himself, he realized acted horribly to Fai. Sure the hyper man always got on his nerves, but didn’t he seem hurt whenever he was pushed away? Fai was human, even he was a stubborn brat and refused to show his emotions to others, obviously he must have them. The ninja hmmphed as he softly clicked the last option, re-thinking everything he had done in the past to Fai. Then finally he pressed the ‘check test results’ feeling a little upset.
What result would he get? The computer loaded slowly and Kurogane had the urge to throw it against the wall. He wanted his results, damnit! But he sat there patiently until the page finally loaded.
You don't make a very good cat owner. You might want to get a different pet instead! In fact, I'm sure your cat will one day run away - if it hasn't already!
“WHAT THE CRAP?” Kurogane yelled, slamming his fists against the desk. What the hell did it mean, saying he was a horrible cat owner, gosh, he’d like to see Fai put up with somebody annoying like himself. Would he of put up with it as long as the ninja had? No he would’ve given it up the first day. “Fucking computer.” He hissed, as Fai jumped out of the bathroom.
“Is something wrong Kuro-woof?”
Kurogane growled, standing in front of the computer screen. “Go away mage. I don’t want to see your filthy mug.”
“Aww Kuro-pin don’t say that! I know you like being around me!”
Fai tried to look at the computer screen out of curiosity and Kurogane pushed him away.
“I told you, get lost Fai.”
“You’re calling me ‘Fai?’” The blonde trilled, clapping his hands together like a little child. “I wonder what Kuro-cutie was looking up while Big Kitty was in the bathroom! It must be super duper important!”
“Just get…”
“You don’t make a good cat owner.” Fai managed to read as he slipped past Kurogane’s defense. “Oh how sweet! Kuro-pipi took the ‘Cat Owner’ Quiz! I knew my big puppy would!”
“Don’t call me that!” Kurogane hissed in defense but he knew it was too late to save his precious pride. He knew it was past the point of return once he clicked an answer for the first question. “And don’t tell the kids or that stupid manjuu I took this quiz or I’ll castrate you. Got that?”
“Yes Kuro-sama” Fai saluted, as Kurogane turned away growling, and mumbling something about finally getting to his manga. Before he could pick it up though, Fai had stopped him.
“Seriously though, don’t believe that quiz. Kuro-doggy is the best master Fai-kitty could ask for.”
Kurogane turned around, staring at Fai’s soft smile. His heart skipped a beat at seeing it, before turning away as a blush spread over his face. Fai continued only to stare innocently, wondering what was wrong.
“Just…whatever.” Kurogane crossed his arms and the two fell in silence once again.
Because just maybe, even if Kurogane would never admit it aloud, he was beginning to be fond of being Fai’s master too.