Procrastination Central

here's a quick post about something that ISN'T books because i'm waiting for erin to get back - and you know, this 'forcing yourself to post so you get into the rhythm of it again' thing... isn't entirely ineffective.

(i wrote most of this post last night, but finished it this morning. i've updated the days of the week mentioned... but i want you to know the mood in which it was written.)

i went to see 'ocean's 8' yesterday. alone. because that's the kind of cool person i am. someone who loves heist movies and women being gay for each other.

if you are thinking about seeing this movie: here is my review. it is as gay as advertised. cate blanchett's character is practically canonically gay, that's how gay she is. unfortunately as a heist, it pales in comparison to the excellent (but not at ALL gay) 'ocean's 11'. the heist itself is flimsy and the ending has at least three things happen that the audience could not possibly predict with the information they have at the beginning of the movie. disappointing!

in other real life news -

this morning (!) i start my new job (!!!). i basically wish i was just going back to my old, comfortable job with all the people that i know and i love. but... i guess this is the price of Ambition.

because i am a drama queen, i prepared a speech. i had in fact been thinking about my leaving speech since i resigned. initially i was convinced that i had to say something on the theme of 'WAKE UP! SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE' and then my friend xander asked me why i would want to do that, what i thought i'd achieve. and also i think everyone i love is pretty woke, actually. they just also dont have anywhere else good to go yet. and it's still very nice in many ways. so then i thought i would talk just on the theme of how wonderful everyone is, and how that makes it 'a great place to work'.

in the end, i went off personal script (i was two drinks down) and ended up saying how great everyone was AND calling for revolution. i also promised (without being asked) i would come back and LEAD that revolution.

we shall see. i'll let you know how it goes. i've been low-key stressing about it (and what i would wear) for weeks now. this morning i have gone with what could otherwise have been a wedding outfit. that's what i thought i would wear for my first day.

it truly seemed the best option.

i spent most of sunday (we're very definitely in the bit of this post i wrote in the morning, now) trying to finish my simon fic while erin was out.

as you can see, i thought i would go to the movies – alone – instead. but i also did write words. but not enough. i had a brain wave at about four in the afternoon that i could just separate the epilogue from the third book, and then i'd basically be done!!! i could post! (although obviously it would be a cheat, and i would have to write the epilogue at some point) but then i remembered that without the epilogue at the end of book three, there's no character arc - there's just stuff that happens. all of it stuff that happens because i wrote myself into a plot i didn't know how to resolve. so i've now been struggling to write my way out of what felt like quite a good cliffhanger last time.

so, anyway, i decided not to do that. but it means i still have a long way to go :( which is a shame because about a month ago i thought (you were there, dear friends), i should finish my fic! capitalise off the increased interest in this fandom following the announcement of 'wayward son'!

it is only a semi-real excuse to say: i've been busy.

i have been busy. i also just haven't know what to write. i think i also need to delete a good portion of what i've written already, as it's not fair to say it's 'plot business' even. some of it is - and some of it's the important characters stuff. but most of it's angst. and it goes on for 10k.

so - i have that to look forward to. boo.

this thought, btw, about not cutting off in the middle of the character arc is why i appreciate where the first act falls in 'hamilton', even though i also think every time 'hm - the war's over. shouldn't this be the end of the first act?' it really feels like it should be - but, i would argue (and indeed, have argued) that the break needs to be where it is, at a slightly underwhelming moment plot wise, because that's the choice that hamilton makes that drives the whole of the second half. he ignores his wife's counsel and joins the cabinet for his own personal glory.

whereas, if we'd cut at the end of the war - that's actually a triumphant moment where we see hamilton's almost identical strategy of selfishness pay off massively for both him and the country. so - it couldn't be that.

anyway - that's why i'm still writing, rather than deluding myself that i've written enough.

also, i guess there's a possibility that i will indeed cut-cut-cut where i've argued to myself that i probably need to (see above), whereas otherwise i probably wouldn't EVEN THOUGH it's just angst. (nice try, self. nice try.)