UNTITLED

I want to hire someone to do my biology project for me x,x
I'm seriously tired as of late, I think Im taking on too much. Heres the scheduels as of now ...
Mon ~ Wake up at 8:30, at school until 1:45 rest of day .. homework
Tues~ Piano @ 12:15, school after at 2-3 then again at 6-8:30
Wed~ Early again at 8:30
Thurs~ Sleep in day .. get up about 12, school at 2-3 then at 6-8:30
Fri~ Wakeup 8:30 , school til 12:20, Late night because it is my ONLY hangout night
Sat~ wakeup 7:30 for renfare work all day
Sun~ Same as saturday, Im anticipating getting home at around 12:30-1am
and then I have to get up on Mon at 8:30 again

IM SO FREAKING SLEEPY T__T
I ordered Vidoll dvds, I want them to come in T_T
God bad luck keeps coming, I'm holding out though, because I hope to GOD something wonderful will happen very soon. If I don't keep hoping then what else is there to hope for >,>
Tonight I hung out with Sarah and Bryan.
Bryan is back to normal, thank god, he was acting weird ever since he got a boyfriend, but hes back to normal and still with the guy that makes him happy. So I am happy for him. Maybe he was just having a bad week last week.
Tonight was fun. I was falling asleep the first half of the night, then I got REAL hyper at Target and Ross, and I bought a 3$ pair of HUGE panties. I'm planning on having someone give them to Kisaki at Onicon, because I think it will be hilarious XD They were the ugliest pair we could find, I think we're going to write something like " Kisaki I love you Im your biggest fan !!!" on them. XD best ever hahahaha. After that we went to Barnes and Noble, I read Wallflower 9, its like the one manga Im addicted to because Sunako kicks ass so much more than any other anime/ manga chick out there lol. This lady came up to us and asked us for 84 cents so she could take the bus home. I gave her my last dollar because I really think she had been crying previously, and she said her sister left her and she was stranded. I felt so bad for her >,< I could tell she had a rough day, and I really believed her. We were in a section of town where people beg really bad, but I believe her, she was really grateful. I dunno. I hope she got home safely. I started shivering in barnes and noble really bad, and I couldnt really stop on the way home. I dunno whats up with me .. I live in houston ... its like not cold at ALL but I was freezing and my hands got like ice and stuff. I sat between Sarah and Bryan and they tried to warm me up, but I was like freezing >,< I think Im the only person that would get shivers in 75 degree weather 0_o We took a diffrent way home, it was interesting. It was a nice night. I feel so bad for Sarah though, because as she was backing out of my driveway she hit my neighbors mailbox >,< No one saw the mailbox so its okay, but she was driving a rental car because her car is still being fixed from the guy that smashed into us a few weeks ago >,< I really hope her parents dont get mad at her !!! They did for the accident 2 weeks ago and it wasnt even her fault >,< aghhh ... I hope everything turns out okay. Please please God >,<
Anyways I have to go to bed because I have a super early morning tommorow. First day of the festival, I have to get all dolled up and do curlers tommorow. I'll probably stop caring as the festival goes on, but for opening day I should try to look nice and attract customers. I'll keep a tally on how many drunken idiots I wind up beating up ;D

Soooo I spent 200$ in 2 days due to a bad mood ... I gotta quit
but I will be recieving 2 Vidoll dvds in the mail soon ...
I swear I needed them. I found the last live with Yukine and Hide for 18$ I couldnt say no since its typically like 60$ .. I got in trouble though because that money is supposed to be for college.
I wonder if they noticed yet that I dont really give a damn about college 0__o
Anywho... I got offered a paid apprentice-ship as a painter doing murals and stuff.
I said yes, and now Im waitin on the lady to email me more info about it.
Would be really awesome if it worked out. Then I get paid for painting, and I like painting.
I'll be like that mute chick in moonchild XD Painting murals hahaha, but I dont think I could be a mute >,>
I have really bad allergies and Im trying not to sneeze because Im in bio class right now >,>
Im really really sleepy ... I think I'll go try to dl some Luvie stuff. I like them 0__0

Today was like .. one of those days
I had a really hard time getting my ass out of bed today, so I stopped at the 7/11 and bought 2 coffees, one normal one expresso to keep me awake thru 2 hours of Bio, I didnt realize though that I would be completley bouncing off the walls. My partner in lab today had the kanji for 9 tattooed on his arm and I ALMOST asked him why he liked the number nine, because I really dont think he knew what it meant XDD but he scares me, he acts like the kind of guy that just got out of jail and stuff .. scary scary ..
So after that I had english, and my english class likes me now because I was a source of entertainment today XD OMG I HAVE FRIENDS ! :D
I was attempting to dl Dolly's discography via the schools inet connection all day, and it failed so I scream out ... DAMNIT ! in the middle of english, and everyone thought that was hilarious, then I kept dropping things, and everyone thought that was funny, then I kept saying whatever was on my mind when Im used to not talking ... yeah ... it was interesting. Funny though.
Got out of class fairly early so I went to the bank to deposit my savings bonds and my check from my parents for the month .. since I spent all my money on this japanese face care stuff .. >,>
Anyways after that I had to go to the dentist, I wasnt happy about that, and then my mom forgot to pre pay my copay .. so I had to pay T_T
After that I was pissy and decided I needed more face products, so I drove all the way downtown to Nippon Daido to get the moisturizer that goes with my set, and now I want eye brightening creme but its all so expensive x,x
After that got home, looked at my bank reciept and realized they counted my 200$ bond as a 50$ one, so I went down to the bank, and the girl denied seeing a 200$ bond when I KNEW it was there, and this is where the day goes bad XD I ... kinda ... bitched her out, and threatened to withdrawl all my money and switch banks ... she had no personality so she didnt fight back, but shes supposed to call the main office tommorow and call me back ... stupid bitch, so I got home, and had a diet coke ... and too much caffiene ... and I had an anxiety attack from too much caffiene in my system >,> Im still sorta speeding, it sucks though ... I took a hot bath to calm down though and it did help. Now I feel like Im crashing ... ughhhhhh ...
Anyways ... that was my day ... I ran errands, yelled at people, and I feel all grown up because I have errands.
I'm still in that "I'm pissed at the world" mood though, I hope that clears up soon.
.... I just remembered I need to call Sarah back ... GYAHH I'll call her tommorow

I'm moving, uhmmm my new sn on here will be Caiyne, but I havent gotten it up yet, and I want a cool layout but I really dont get LJ, so give me a bit to get over my stupidity and then I will let you all know when I begin posting on there kk ? haha

Well I was going to write about the wondeful day I had, and all the lovely things I bought ...
but oh fucking shit !!! Bank statement = 36.65$
damn damn damn !!
Well .. I did have a good day...
Cat and I went down to Nippon Daido ( houstons little japan store)
and I found the face cream I'd been looking for, unfortunatley it was 27.99 but ... I was like ... fuck it .. and I bought it.
Its only one part of the 3 part set and I really want the wash and the mosturizer, but I just bought the skin lightening/ tone evening stuff.
After that we went to eat at Pei Wei, that location sucked XD and I was hungry but when I got my food I wasnt >,> so I didnt really eat it ...
After that we went down to montrose because I needed .. a corset..::blush:: I should have one for renfare .. so .. yeah .. >,>
Cool thing is montrose thrift stores kick ass and I got this really nice burgundy one from Victorias secret for 8.50$ I kinda thought about it and Im like ... its used .. I hope no one had sex in this XD
Anyways after that I realized I really had to pee .. so we walked to this laundry mat, and this little azn lady comes up and is like CAN I HELP YOU !?! and I was like ... yeah do you have a bathroom ? I REALLY have to go, and shes like YEAH NO PUBLIC ! and then shooed us out ... and I got .. really angry XD Then we went into a few more stores and people were looking at me like I was going to steal ... >,> This one guy screamed bag at me when I walked in and I had to give him my bag, then he gave me the wrong one .. and he looked in my bag .. and I was embarassed to have a corset XDDD because Im weird. Anyhow, people are so freakin rude around here.
The sunset was gorgeous today, we took pics on Cat's camera, if she uploads em maybe I'll post some. I really wanna mess with makeup .. but I have to write an english paper. T__T

Its not a bad sigh this time XD
Its just a .. DAMN Im tired, but I can't sleep because insomnia is such a lovely little friend of mine.
I.... am ... trying to get out of my moping stage.
Last Thursday I skipped Psychology so I could sit in the car and cry. I walked in with makeup smeared all over my face for the last 15 mins of class, the teacher didn't count me absent and all .. which is good because she drops after 3 absences but ...
I'm a little disgusted by the fact that I'm letting my emotions get in the way of my life. Its really not like me, Im typically such an optimist. but really .. WTH ?!! I have decided, I need to start putting effort into life again and not let all this shit thats going on get me so down.
So with that said .. I have some SERIOUS catching up school-wise to do.
I have been moping since semester started, and I havent been paying attention.
fuck fuck fuck.

~ If people really love you, like you thought they did, they'll eventually see that some peoples words are transparent, he doesnt know me because he never listened to me. Its hard to hear what someone is saying when your too focused on their outward appearance and what you dislike about it. Behind every face theres a person inside, but hes completley blind to that... am I so terrible for thinking that that behaviour is wrong ?
Stop focusing on what you've heard and remember all the good that came from all of us together. I love you and I always will .. even if the feeling is not mutual ~


On a better note.
I'm working the Renisance festival this year. Its a little far from my house but it will be a great way to get my mind off of things. Besides I cant turn down the opportunity to prance around in costume XD I will not be camping though, because my parents are iffy about it ... and I have never camped .. and ... I like my bed X3 and my AC, and my shower, hair products and straightener .... holy fuck ... am I A GIRL !?!
hahahaha. I dont know how to do rennisance hair and makeup though ... how do you make a mullet look renisance styled ?? I think my extensions may have to be on break for this too ... I love them dearly .. but ... they look fake when I curl my real hair XD I think it will be lots of fun though. I am working with Gina / Mikoto and that will be awesome :3 I had a lot of fun with her today, and the other girl that works with us (Ashley ) is really nice too ! I need to go research ren styled hair and makeup .. because .. we do not need me showing up like I belong in a VK band ..XD

---EDIT -----
HAHAHAHA OH SHIT !!! XD It just thundered really loud and scared me to DEATH, and I was drinking out of a water bottle .. and I like spit it XDD OMG hahahahaha Im such a retard XD

I need a new user pic, that is ungodly old.. thats when my hair was longer, then I cut it short, and then it grew long again ... okay .. yeah .. made no sense .. 0___0

UGhhhhh I can't sleep again.
I hate insomnia, so so so much.
May was messing with me earlier, shes so funny, she jumped on the bed and put her paws on my english book. ( She get jealous when I do homework) So I looked at her and said " ... May can I have it?" and I grabbed it, but she stuck her claws into it and ... the english book is damaged now, ... so much for reselling it. Then she comes up and buries her head in my armpit XD Shes so weird, good thing I wear deodarant huh ? hahaha.
I ran across something lovely today, and it is here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LZ…
I love that song .. its so beautiful !!! God Tero is a wonderful piano player ( he messes up a few times .. but hes still good ! ) and I love Jui's voice, so so so much. He's definatley one of my favorite vocalists. I wanna find the translations to that song. I also wanna look for this concert DVD at onicon. I need to save money, I need to sell some paintings or something .. :: sigh ::
I neglected my biology homework tonight, I dont know whats wrong with me. I don't know if I lack ambition or what... my head is so far up in the clouds that I dont want anything to do with reality or growing up. I dunno, Im really sad about everything. I went back on my antidepressants .. yuuckk.. but they kinda keep me grounded and stop me from feeling ... weird I know, but its helping me get through the days. Makes me way sick though.
I need to sleep, tommorow is the early day T_T
Im still stuck in the gameroom, my room came out BRIGHT ASS RED, like the color of my car red.... its cute on the car but in the room it looks like a barn ! I hate it !! So my dad is repainting it a kinda toned down orangey red color that matches the bedspread. I dont know why I picked red last week ... now Im thinking ... what the hell was I thinking !! >,>
I hope it grows on me T_T
Okay well going to try to sleep now.
Goodnight all !

Well
I quit my job. Yeah this one lasted 2 weeks XD
I made a grand total of 66$ and got 60$ because I used 6 of my pay check to buy something for my mom out of the little stand I work at XD. Gyahhhhh I wish I could keep entertained during a job but its SO DAMN BORING >,> I cant stay focused, my mind is like off somewhere else. Today I was talking to a customer, but I was thinking about food and I said something like " Well you can wash these shirts inside out with chicken nugget " XDD omg ...
So I only stayed til 4 today because my throat is kinda sore, I messed it up bad.
My rooms being redone, so its completley empty, and I have this love of empty rooms XD
So last night my parents were out at the symphony, and I sat in my empty room with my mika nakashima cd and sang REALLY LOUD for like 2-3 hours, it was fun X3
Of course ... I will only sing, when no one is home :)
I think my sister will be home tonight, my parents are going to some jazz club, I think my mom might be singing there tonight. If my sister goes out, its back to the room X3 even with my sore scratchy throat haha.
They freakin marked up my tea at the store, it used to be 50 cents a can, and now its FREAKIN 89 cents per can .. seriously what the hell, I went up there with an armful of tea and some candy and it came out to 9 something. T__T
I think I need a nap >,>
I also think I want to call Katie, but Im scared of phones, and I dont wanna bother her, so I'll do that later haha.

Okay well now that I got my rant out of the way time for the real update.
I'm finally 18.
I don't get why people get so excited about 18... It makes me feel like crap XD
yay .. I can buy permenant markers now .. clubbing but I HATE that crap.
Life seems to be becoming quite lacklustre.
I said something wrong, lost a friend of 4 years or so forever.
I think it was for the best though, I dunno, we were so diffrent. When we were younger he was kinda my life. We got so distant, I really felt that he disregarded my feelings and took me for granted, but I know theres no reasoning with that boy. So I kept my mouth shut for so long that I exploded >,> I kinda wish we got to resolve things before he left for LA. He left yesterday on my birthday.
Didn't even say goodbye.
4 years of friendship doesnt mean much these days huh ?
Kinda makes me sad. He's mad at me so hes spreading rumors like crazy.
I hope no one takes what he says to heart.
I have faith in my friends, if they're really my friends they wont let what someone else says effect their opinion of me.
So why am I still on edge >,>
Oh well on to something a little better
Today the friends and I met up at Sugarland park for a birthday party. Me Katie and Linda because we're all in the same week. Everyone did some kind of strawberry cake lol. Katies cake was really good :3 For my birthday I got a laptop for college.
I like it but it's confusing me. Windows media player keeps adding music files that aren't mine !!!
It makes me so mad ! I have 2 songs on this machine that are mine, both from the new SID single ( Otegami, its really pretty, I <3 SID so much ! even though Yuuya is majorly annoying XD )
and theres like 50 others that came with the comp, sounds like contry music >< and RAP !! EWWW
I need to clean it out and download some new music on here !

College starts next week.
Suckkss Im not looking foward to it.
I got stuck in an art ONE class and the school doesnt offer japanese ...
T_T I'm also working in a kiosk in the mall selling color changing shirts XD
I have this bad feeling that Im not going to get paid for this job... Somethings telling me .. bad feeling. But oh well I need to try. I have Oni-con coming up in october. I should be working at this con which means free badge and I get paid on sunday, but Im scared that wont pull through and then I can't afford it. I need to email Elden and ask him if I can work thru onicon. I promised I'd make some Gothic lolita dresses to sell at the con, but I havent had time.
Omggg so much worrying. I also need money for my Japan trip next spring break.
I'm staying at my friend Ami's house, but I will need to shop in japan. and CONCERTS !!
I want to see Vidoll in concert so bad ! lol I'll probably base my trip on their concert scheduel.
Okay well .. hopefully things will work out.
I'll continue to be an optimist, its worked before lol.

Okay ... I never use this journal because I am a die hard Xanga person, but I am going to put something here the entire male population needs to know.

~ IT IS NOT ATTRACTIVE TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK DESPRATE !!!
OMFG !!! I swear if I hear this ONE MORE TIME .. Ima shoot someone ~
~ " Im a little sad right now "
~ " Oh ... Whats wrong (person on this end is feeling AKWARD right now because you KNOW whats coming)
~ " I'm lonely... I need a g/f "
..... WHAT THE HELL ! I normally go oh .. Im sorry
but in my head im going .. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO !?! IM NOT GOING OUT WITH YOU YOUR FUCKING ANNOYING AS HELL !!! !
Also .. this is not a turn on ...
" Im really into furries "
... again ... what the HELL am I supposed to say in reply !?! " Oh really ? thats wonderful ... I kinda like ..skin ... human .. yeah .. the fur doesnt do it for me ... 0__0 " ( precisely why I like jrock .. nice hairless .. yeaaahhh .. )

guys . if you read this ... this is totally not the way to get a chick, it doesn't make you look sensitive and shit .. it makes you look like a FUCKING LOSER and you just annoy EVERYONE!
OH OH OH
and DONT EVER play an insturment for the "object of your affection" if you dont know what your doing !!! GOD DAMN ! If the person is interested in music they probably have somewhat of a background in it ...
<<<<< tune your guitar before you play kids 0__o >>>>>>
..... okay ..... .... okay .... I think I'm done now ...
T__T