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RETIREMENT

 Article on Retirement

 

 It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it

 becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when

 they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are

 oversensitive and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

 

 My name is Clarence. Let me relate how I handled the situation with

 my wife, Marie.

 

 When I took "early retirement", it became necessary for Marie to get

 a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that

 we needed. Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning

 to show her age.

 

 I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she gets

 home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says

 she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't

 yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she

 gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Grill at the club

 so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when

 I hit that door.

 

 She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's

 not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I

 do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening

 that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does

 seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. I really think

 my experience as a manager helps a lot. I consider telling people what

 they ought to do, I like to think that is one of my strong points.

 

 Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more

 quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says

 she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue

 of this; as long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm

 willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to

 wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club,

 or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I will tell

 her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.

 

 This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends

 like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting.

 

 Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and

 muddy, my clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them, you know.....get the grit

 off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at a casual pace. My

 golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women are delicate,

 have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as men. But I did tell

 her I don't like to be wakened during my after-golf nap, so rather than

 bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she's finished.

 

 Another symptom of her aging is complaining, I think. For example,she

 will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills

 during her lunch hour. But boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I

 just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or

 even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.

 

 I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't

 hurt her any (if you know what I mean). When doing simple jobs, she seems

 to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was

 only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene.

 

 I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of

 freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is

 making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, and then take

 her break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me until I fall

 asleep.

 

 I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Marie.

 I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find

 it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do

 how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you

 just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of

 this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After

 all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

 

 Signed, Clarence

 

 [ EDITOR'S NOTE: Clarence passed away suddenly Thursday May 26th. His wife Marie was arrested, but the all-woman Grand Jury accepted her defense that he accidentally died.]