For those of you that are new, part of my personal lore is that I can use both of my hands effectively because when I was a child I had a fear of losing my dominant (right) hand and not being able to do anything and so I trained myself to be able to do most daily activities with my left hand.
A lot of people hear this and are like “are you sure you’re not actually left handed and were forced to be right handed?”
And I know for sure that I’m not left handed because I’m currently recovering from a small injury on my right arm that I should not be using right now and yes I can do most activities just as effectively with my left hand but because I am indeed right handed I keep instinctually reaching for things with my right hand, completely forgetting that I have an injured arm and then immediately suffering from the consequences.
So many people with migraines are like “zero calorie sweeteners give me migraines” and then people are like “no you don’t there’s no proof for that” and yet whenever I eat stevia my head feels like there’s a thousand metal rats trying to escape from it no matter how many times I’m told that I’m making it up.
There's something I have to say to the kind of people who keep unsocial reptiles as pets, doting on and adoring their weird little lizardly critters and do not give a single fuck about the idea that their darling creatures' little lizard brains cannot comprehend affection the way mammals do:
You are more capable of true, pure, unconditional love than the god who made them.
My land eel likes that I’m warm
If I was sent back in time from a post apocalyptic wasteland, the first thing I would do is eat some junk food. I know them rations are nasty as hell. Imagine eating a double cheeseburger with fries and a large coke after eating MRE’s and running from robots your whole life. Imagine having a pack of gushers.
Me, mere moments after I travel through time to save humanity from extinction from evil robots or something:
Oooh boy a fucking bnotificationvi womder whats it for!
The humble "parasocial" post: ermm someone jjst reblogfled me?☝🏼
[I'd: #posts that have 100k to me]
Be fuckingjh patient i made it 2 second s ago it. Can srill happen
posts that have 0 to me
[insufferable math teacher voice] zero what? Apples? Oranges?
Posts that have -2 apples to me
fuuuuck dude my post is hemorrhaging apples like crazy. I'm fucked.
Post that has -10 apples to me
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
It’s always my favorite character
