The Secret Lives of Animals

Soft lap often informs people that when I was a kitten I was a stray (no idea what this means... when the world is my home.. how can i be stray?) apparently i got separated from my family and was found in a industrial park after having been hit by a car. The Vet told Soft lap that I might have learning disabilities or head injuries. Personally I find that unlikely as I am a perfectly able 'cat about town'. However, I do have some difficulties with the stuff they call 'Water' and Soft lap puts this forward as evidence of my 'Problem'  along with the time i tried to jump on the wallpaper border stripe; well really... it looked like a shelf, its an easy mistake anyone could make, I bet there are people all over the world with sore heads from trying to jump on those border things, they should be banned.

So, water... I mean its transparent for a start, which is a pretty big design flaw if you ask me. Its wet of course which isn't a problem unless its deep. My water bowl is quite deep however, and because the water is transparent i cant see where it starts which gives me two options; I can stick part of myself in the bowl (usually a paw or my head) and test to see where the water starts, this has the major disadvantage of getting wet unexpectedly. (not something I relish) I have come up with an alternative option however, this involves rocking the bowl until it tips water ont the floor where i can drink it without dipping my fur in it.

For some reason this makes soft lap very agitated, something I find rather odd given that outside there is often water on the floor and she doesn't mind that *Licks paw in brief contemplation* This difference in opinion over whether my water should be 'in the bowl' or 'on the floor' has led to the bowl wars. The bowl wars consist of Soft lap trying to find heavier, wider, untippable bowls which I then proceed to find a way to tip up. Its the simplest of catalyst that often lead to the greatest of wars.

Dear Diary,

As I have mentioned before I live with three Humans, I tend to distinguish between them as so... big lap, soft lap and little lap. Big lap is really quite useful, he is a keen dealer in cat nip and has very good at back scratching. Soft lap has been with me the longest by far, in fact I remember very little before this Human became my pet. Soft lap is always good for a cuddle, if one were that way inclined (its always best not to admit to needing a cuddle from your Human pet as its really not good for the 'Independant Cat about town' image)

Little lap is very new, soft lap went away for a week and when she returned she had little lap, to be honest I am not keen on this Human. this is due in part to its constant need for cuddles from my other Humans.. time that could be spent tending to my needs, add to this that little lap has a tendancy to make a lot of noise, that they give little lap all the best nesting spots in the house... and well... one has to wonder how I am supposed to survive under such neglect!

There are some benefits to the arrival of little lap however; The appearence of more boxes for my entertainment (once the rubbish inside them has been removed by my pets), the presence of soft lap at our dwelling during the day rather than out hunting for my kibble (so far this has not affected the provision of  said kibble) and the presence of more soft nesting materials (although the humans keep insisting on reserving them for little lap I have managed on occasion to grab a quick nap on some of them while they are changing soft lap's mobile litter trays.)

*ears twitch* Hmmm... I think little laps woken up.. soft lap will be down in a minute for its milk, signing off for tonight!

Hello.

My name is Hubert, and i am a frog.  'ribbet'

I am currently residing in a nice little pond in the north east of england.

Well, i say its nice. It was nice, untill those dam 2 legged stomping monster things that occasionally visit dumped a load of fish in with me.  
I mean, what were they thinking. Fish!!! Have you seen a fish. 'ribbet'
Slimy, scaley, dumb creatures.  And have you ever tried talking to them? Asking them kindly to stop nudging you as your trying to sleep?  or to stop trying to eat everything that moves?  

Anyway, i digress. As you may have gathered, i do not like fish. or anything else that distrupts my tranquil haven here (well with the exception of maybe the odd female frog 'ribbet ribbet'). My days are generally spent hopping about, trying to find a tasty slug to eat, and avoiding those dam fish.  On the odd occasion, for a bit of fun, i do enjoy what i have called, 'fish rodeo'. This involves finding a suitable fish and jumping onto its back and clinging to it for as long as possible whilst it struggles to get away. On occasion this can result in the fish dieing, but unfortunatly this is very in-frequent.  

Must be going now, fish to torture and slugs to eat. 'ribbet'

 

My name is Willow, but my humans generally call me Wils, my kind don't really use names, I am of course referring to my species Felidae (Cat being the most common Human term for us; Humans have trouble with Latin) I know some may quibble over sub-species but I do not recognise the term 'Domestic' in reference to my kind so lets not go there *licks left paw*  These memoirs are really intended for other Cats but as some of my readers may be Human i will endeavor to explain myself in 'simple' Human terms they will be able to understand. *licks right paw*

I live with 3 Humans in a Human dwelling which is on an estate of similar Human dwellings. Humans are convenient to reside with on the whole, they have access to kibble, this being my favourite Human food, it is odd I never actually see them eat any themselves. *shrugs* I think this may be because they save the best for me as they appear to be very fond of me *attempts to look smug... looks blank* . Of course I should mention I am not the only Cat in the dwelling, I share it with two other Cats, however I don't think the kibble is really meant for them as I am clearly the Humans favourite, this doesnt seem to stop the others stealing it. *flattens ears for a moment*

Speaking of Kibble... *ears rotate to pick up the sound of kibble falling into a bowl* I must be off...  my Humans are home from the kibble store.

Signing off...
Wils

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Willow the Cat

Oh, hello.

My name is Geraldine, COOOO, although all of my friends call me Frida. COOOO.

They say it is because I am the, COOOO, spitting image of that human from Abba, although I feel that if I, COOOO, were a human, I would be more suited to look like Angelina, COOOO, Jolie.  Frida from Abba, Indeed..!  Can't they, COOOO, see I have Angelina's pout?  Despite this, Frida has, COOOO, stuck, and I have tried to take it on as my own.

COOOO

Anyhow, a bit of background, COOOO, information on me.  I am the great-great-great, COOOO,-great-great-great-great-grandCOOOOdaughter of the infamous Corporal Twitter, of the NPS (National Pigeon Service).  It was his, COOOO, battalion who risked life and wing getting messages from the, COOOO, front line of the enemy's forces back to base here in the UK.  Such heroes, COOOO.  I am honoured to be related to such an, COOOO, admirable Pigeon.  Although I do sometimes feel inadequate.  With such a famous, COOOO, figure in your family tree, it really does put pressure on being as successful and important, COOOO.

COOOO..!  I'm going to have to finish this later... There's a young human coming closer to me with what looks like bread...!

COOOO, COOOO, COOOO, COOOO, COOOO, COOOO, COOOO, COOOO, COOOO, COOOO!

Hello and welcome!

Tired of watching your Human monopolise the world wide web? Are you an animal with your own journal? Would you like to share your journal with others? Now is the time the world got to know you too  <Attempts a smile... looks blank> 

How to join:

Its easy.. you simply wait until your human is not around and then create your own journal. Please start your entries before you applying so we can see that your adhering to the rules which can be found under user info/profile. You will need to add to your journal at least once a month in order to remain part of the group. Entries should not contain adult content.**

Footnotes:

*This is not always a negative situation for a smart Cat such as myself to be found in as they are much more easily manipulated regarding kibble related issues

**There maybe young animals watching