Misplaced Random Thoughts

Obituary:http://obituaries.triblive.com/lis…

Video Tribute made by the Es:http://vimeo.com/68507418

Today is a day to pay tribute to the life a kind, interesting, and humorous person... He had a big heart, and had lived a zigzag life. He will be missed by so many. "You lived a great life, if there are a lot of people missing you."

There will be a huge dent in the hearts of many. There are really REALLY awesome words and memories that I am keeping at the top of my mind. It makes it all, burn a little less.

With time, the awesome memories will remain, and the pain will slip away.

Its a gamble to let someone touch your life.
Life, that fragile 4 letter word... it's not permanent.
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
-Lao Tzu

The goal in life is to learn to love.(there a million other things that happen, but that's a big one)
Give love and receive love.

If someone leaves an impression on your heart... they did their job...
Hopefully we all leave impressions on the hearts of the people that matter to us.
"Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love."
-Leo Buscaglia

-------------------

Where there is passage
there is passing

We live, love, laugh,
share, and receive

We live guided by
our own heart

We love sharing
the most important
part of one's self

We laugh to cure
all that ails

We share
our light

We receive
only what we need

We leave behind
only what they need

-----

Some paths
you will travel often

Some you will
grace only once


And in the end
the paths will all connect

Bringing you back
to where you never left

The hearts of the
ones that matter

Last Thursday, my Grandfather, that has lived with me for the past nearly 3 years, passed away.

Growing up, to say he was a pain in the butt at times, was an understatement.
He was hard on all of his kids, and hardest on my cousin(whom I consider to be his 4th child)... because... that's the crazy way he showed love(Structure, I suppose?).
BUT also, he taught me a hell of a lot about any thing mechanical.
And I know, that in his own way, he loved his children, grand children, and great grand children.

This has been a hell of a lot harder on me, than I thought it would be.
In the past months, it has been a physical and emotional strain taking care of him.... and I was grumpy about it even... but only for a short while... but somehow, in a grown up way, it clicked, his time was short... and... I was thankful for the time I had left with him... even in such conditions.

I have some comfort in knowing his past few years, he has been very well taken care of(The best you can, with some one so damn stubborn and strong willed).... and that, even with his bickering... he was happiest when he was home. He was happy when he could talk to his dog Charlie, and happiest when we had visitors... especially the female kind. HE LOVED when my rollergirl friends visited... he would follow them around the house flirting with them... it was the cutest thing to see.

http://www.mundenfuneralhome.net/o…

Since smokey's return home, I have been getting LITTLE sleep.

Add to that, I have be placed on prednisone for the most yucky leg rash ever.
Add to that, my period.
Add to that 8 pounds in 3 days(because of the 3 combined)

I am a pissy pissy girl.

GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRR.

In the last 3 minutes of the game... we are down by many points i looked at my line up ready to go out for the next jam... It was a moment for a rally speech...

I looked at them and said:
"Gals...we have to ask ourselves what would Bobby Hill do?   He would say I don't know you...and...Thats my purse!...and hit them...hit the hard"

Teammate: "but they don't have nuts"

"we will hit them in the hips and shoulders....THATS MY PURSE!"

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You may stand at the crossroads
Worried your words will change the course

Speak your words
Let your honesty carry your soul

No matter the road taken
It will be brightly illuminated
and warmed by the kindness of your heart

She finds a little turtle
He's tucked in his shell

His shell is scratched and chipped
But she is not discouraged...
She listens, and hears his heart still beating

She holds him in her hands, in the sun
Hoping her warmth will find its way through his shell

Fire started by an single spark

It sways and glows

Winds gust

Embers fall

A new spark starts a new fire...

Through my journey of self realization, and self acceptance... I have come to accept all of the great and kind things about myself... that has well... gotten me so very hurt in my life... and turn them around into something so positive... "forward steps only"...

With my rambling, and reading, I have stumbled across some soul poking quotes.

My Favorite quote, that has bounced around my brain often these days is this:
"Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love."
-Leo Buscaglia

My take on that is... I am going to love people, who ever the hell I please, that is damn lucky enough for that honor... And I am going to show them, and tell them... BUT... here is the trick... I am not really going to stress the return... sure, If I am giving out love to great people it will return, that is what happens with fabulous people... but there are points in our lives, where... we can't return the awesomeness that is being thrown our way... And I accept it... and I will love whom ever I choose all the same.

So all along, I did Love to Love. To now know to love with out expectation, to love with out drain... to gain joy from the glow it gives me, to give it away.

My other favorite quote these days:
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
-Lao Tzu

Dang skippy, loving people is quite the scary business. What ever you can hold in your life in your hand... you can lose. Life is not permanent. Enjoy the what you have, while you have it.

But truly, you can not lose what you tuck inside of your heart... time nor distance can not diminish that.

Your fire has burned bright
Many winds have not taken out your flame

Your warmth is reborn
Your warmth is held

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Test post.

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