i'm fucking suicidal because of the way tumblr does 'activism', again, and i don't feel safe talking about it there and i don't feel like i deserve to talk about it anywhere, and i quit therapy and it might help but it's not the help i want, and i want to go home but they don't let me have enough food there, and there is no way no way no way out.
Just as an FYI: I'm now doing A Thing with the characters of Entropy Project/Foldable World, now called Channel Fever, narrated by Lee Feldman, which I hope will continue for a long while if not consistently.
The science fiction WIP formerly known as The Entropy Project will now be located at this community: foldableworld. Just a heads-up in case anyone still checks this journal hoping for updates. I am heavily revising the story and will be re-posting individual chapters over the next few weeks.
These have been posted on tumblr at previous points, because I'm a lazy shit with LJ-specific social anxiety, but now here they are in better format.
Disclaimer for all three: These characters do not belong to me. On the contrary, they've captured so much of my headspace that a significant portion of me belongs to them.
Emergent Property Early s2, MSR of a sort. Abstract Scully-POV musings. G. ( Collapse )
Speech Therapy Scully-centric post-ep for “Conduit”, but contains spoilers for material discussed in “all things”. PG. ( Collapse )
play me like a cheap trombone MSR, post-Pusher, PG-13. ( Collapse )
Whenever I start to consider my internet life ~important, I psych myself out and don't comment on the necessary things for several days. Because, of course, anything important requires procrastination, and my brain is warped. I really prefer LJ to tumblr because of the ease of long-form conversation, fic posting, etc., but tumblr is more likely to get filed under 'irrelevant' and therefore attended to.
Might look into getting ~academic accomodations~ on Monday, because the amount of homework I am doing is not the amount I should be doing. But I have srs guilt issues with accommodations because, hey, I got nearly straight A's and A+'s in high school! How could I possibly fall apart in college.
wendelah1 has created a comment ficathon for the women of TXF, at this location. I plan to participate and you should too, if you enjoy that sort of thing.
Title: where the text ends we begin Author: andromedalogic Pairing: Mulder/Scully UST Rating: PG (awkwardness) Spoilers/Timeline: Post-ep for "E.B.E." Warnings: None. Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. On the contrary, they've captured so much of my headspace that a significant portion of me belongs to them.
A/N: This is the only fic I've written that is both serious and polished. I posted it on tumblr a while ago, but figured I ought to give it an official home on LJ. I am far too obsessed with "E.B.E." and now you have to endure the results.
The question of why TXF is my one-in-five-billion is difficult for me to address for two reasons. First, the show so overwhelms me that my reactions to it tend toward flailing, tears and incoherent speech rather than explicit analysis. Secondly, it's extremely personal. If I think about the real reasons I watch this show, the important ones, I squirm. It's redefined the concept of 'close to home' for me.
But when this scene showed up on tumblr, I started thinking about why that scene was such a Big Deal to me when I first saw it, why I'm still not over it and get mentally tongue-tied when I try to explain its importance. (It doesn't even have to be a shippy scene. I read it that way, but even if I take off my shipper goggles, the importance stands.) And I was able to deduce the following points. This is not complete meta; it looks more like an essay outline, because this is the extent of my coherence on this topic.
So, as anyone who follows me on Tumblr knows well, my fandom life has been completely consumed by The X-Files. I'd like to return to LJ in a more active capacity, because it presents many advantages to Tumblr -- most notably, venues for fic posting and in-depth conversation -- but I must do so as an X-Phile. Um. This show has done more for me than Star Trek ever could, it has fulfilled needs I didn't even know I had, etc etc [gushing praise and gratitude]. That said, I don't know what the protocol is here. I am somewhat embarrassed.
If you don't care about The X-Files, feel free to unfriend me. I will not be in the least offended. I am still a Trekkie for life, but I am not currently concerned with TOS, and I know most people friended me for that (not that I posted much). So, please unfriend me if you wish and don't feel guilty. In fact, I am the one who should feel guilty, because there are comments I haven't replied to and other obligations I haven't fulfilled and ugh. I am better at fandom than at real life, but not by much.
If you are concerned about TXF -- well, I will probably be posting fic and/or meta transplanted from Tumblr within the next few days, joining communities, and just generally getting my sea legs. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
I apologize if the tone of this journal entry seems stilted or harsh. It isn't meant to be. (I am making a bigger deal of this than I need to, aren't I?)
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