i came on here
and like every girl i used to talk too deleted their journals.
it kind of scares me.
ladies and gentleman.
it has been way to fucking long since i have written?
but i am thinner than ever right now.
they have that effect on me as well.
i need new friends since all of mine are gone.
sorry it has been so long.
add me guys!
loves.
long time no see.
welp.
fuckin lif eis a joy.
and sometimes it kills me.
right now i am waiting tables.
making good money.
saving it all.
smoking a pack a day.
driving for hours.
living off cortislim and green tea pills.
a nalgene full of green tea.
and coffee on occasion.
i fly to cali tomorrow to see matt.
bathing sutis all week.
exciting.
that is whats new.
sorry it has been so long.
cheers to the nicole richie book ...
"the truth about diamonds."
in love.
goal weight= 130
i will stick to this plan starting tomorrow. every day i will eat NO MORE than 400 calories, and by the 14 ( the dreaded valentines day) ill be 130, where i was at the begining of this whole mess. since i have no boy that will ever like me no matter how hard i try , and in the end what i eat is my business not my friend's , this is my gift to myself. ive put up with too much bullshit this past month and the only times i was happy was when i was skinny.
i am fat
i am fat
i am fat
i cant see any bones anymore, not even my back. by hip bones dont stick out unless i flex my stomach and you can barely see the tentons on my hands and feet. i will post pictures once a week to show progress.
ANYONE WHO WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS PLAN IS WELCOME, SINGLE AND ATTACHED ALIKE, YOU DESERVE SOMETHING MORE THAN CHOCOLATE ON VALENTINES DAY. YOU DESERVE TO BE 10 POUNDS THINNER!
Can't you hear me crying out
I'm going slowly crazy can't you hear my shouts
The voices they get louder everyday
Telling me I need to go even though I want to stay
This disease is killing me oh so slow
I try to stop but it won't let me go
I hate me, I love me, I hate me some more
This terrible secret is hidden in my core
There is no where to turn and no one to tell
This secret that I keep so well
Everyday is a battle I fight to the end
Anorexia has become my only friend.
Name: Danielle
Age: 15
Location: London
BMI: 20.1
Height: 5'4
CW:117
HW:130
LW:110
Goal Weight:100 (by my birthday 18/01/90)
Long term goal weight: 85 (by summer time 4 my holiday 2 cuba!)
E.D. type: ws mia now ana
hi, im new to this so i thought i shud tell u a little about myself. ive had a ed 4 bout a yr but i neva bin in hospital about it. i feel ova this past year i had changed a lot and grown up alot. over this past month so many things have happened to me and i feel i am stronger as a person thats why ive decided to turn ana b/c i feel the results are faster and it just proves to myself how strong i am.
i really like speaking to other people who r goin through the same thing as me because i cant speak to any1 where i am, every1 will just get angry @ me and i cnt deal with that @ the mo so thats why i just ave 2 wrk by myself and have support 4rm people on the net.
i am on a fast now it started on weds and ive lost 2 lbs already so it has really givin me more motivation!
anyway thx 4 listenin and i will try to post my proress every 2 days
dan xxx
So today my mom found that 30 of her metabolism pills were missing, 30 of which i ate, but ive been doing this for 6 months without her noticing, she accused me of taking them to make myself skinny, and i just said that they fell into the sink when i was looking at them out of curiosity. so she is allready suspisios, then she storms into my room because she found barf in the toilet( why she was looking, ill never know) . so then i told her that i was sick, and i was afraid to tel lher because she'd accuse me of making myself barf. well, she insisted that i was making myself barf ( which i am) and proceeded to weigh me. crap. because ive been telling her that im 135, but having her weigh me she found i was 128.you see ive been "home sick" with "food poisonin" which is basically m excuse for i took far too many laxatives. anyway. so hopefully she'll buy that that is the reason why ive been loosing weight, or something. god i pray. if she puts me into treatment ill kill myself.
anyways...
today i found that i have a very big peice of fat on my back, that needs to be rid of, and i have no butt.
does anyone know a way that i can stay skinn with my mom monitering me , and a way to work out my back and butt??
today
food=none
weight=126
only 6 more pounds to go then i'll only have ten.
