Does anyone need a Zack?
Pros – super-good vibes, master at squats, badass fighting skills I can teach you, can totally get you Seph’s autograph, I’ve been told way too many times I have nice eyes, I can cook pretty well (especially if you like spicy food!), I come with a bonus Angeal (not optional, he literally will not leave me for more than 2 minutes)
Cons – tends to attract negative attention (I don’t wanna talk about it), off-putting if you don’t like energetic people, I’m told I can be a bit naïve, will not promise to avoid dangerous situations (I want to be a hero!), not very good at baking, am sometimes a bit messy
You heard that right, ladies, a genuine Zack Fair can be yours for…well…most things. I, um, I’m totally gay, and like I said above I kinda come packaged with Angeal, so there are some things I can’t do, heh heh. But I’m priced to move! Make me an offer! ANY OFFER.
*sigh* Okay, to be honest, even though I know it’s futile, I am trying to make another break from Amarissia. I don’t want to make anyone sad, even her, but she’s upped her crazy another level.
Angeal: “Puppy, you need to not let her get to you. You know she means no harm.”
I know, I know. Maybe Angeal and my therapist are right, that I’m letting this whole I’ve-been-retconned-to-survive thing get to me. D- *remembers Angeal is nearby* uh, doing what I did at the end of Crisis Core kinda defined me, you know, for a long time, and I was worried that everyone might not like me as much without that. The Crazy Lady showed me a bunch of videos of fans actually really happy about it, even crying, and Angeal reminded me that intentions matter, maybe even more than things that actually happen. I dunno…
Ugh, I’m getting too serious, sorry. Anyway, the Crazy Lady is being crazy again. I’ve told you about her creepy us-shrine, right? Today she added to it some new release of Advent Children (you guys remember Cloud cutting that freaking Bahamut right in half? I was so proud of him!), which should be no big deal, she said she lost her DVD of the original and needed to replace it, but it’s a Blu-ray. She does not own a Blu-ray player.
Digital copy came with it, darling. You’re making me sound even nuttier than I actually am.
Uh-huh. You want to tell them what else you ordered?
Erm…
I thought so. You guys know how Amarissia doesn’t play video games anymore, ‘cause she gets all anxious and too involved? She decided to buy a copy of Remake. She doesn’t even own a PS4.
I plan to share it with my nephew? Need it for shrine? Just trying to support the franchise?
Sorry, but your level of crazy has gone beyond explanation. Thus I am putting myself on the market. Even the most shriek-y, glomping fangirl would seem sensible after you.
Honey, I’m pretty sure you can’t actually leave me. And even if you could, wouldn’t you and Angeal miss Choir!Cloud?
I can’t take the others with me?
There’s not really precedent for this, as far as I know, but let’s say not. Zack, how long will this grudge last? It’s been a lot of years and a lot of fics since I embarrassed you with paper-training.
You always write me the same, though, being perved on by creepy randos or having to touch Genesis.
There must be some way I can ease this dislike of me. Other than changing my writing style, I don’t think I can do that.
Angeal: “How about you stop trying to get Zack to act out what you’re writing?”
There’s an idea. I guess I can work on imagination alone.
Well…I guess that would be something.
Marvelous! Let’s celebrate by watching the church scene from Intergrade again! Then we can pester Roche’s VA on Twitter some more!
Genesis: “Nah, let’s write some smut. If I don’t even get chances to rehearse fic with Puppy anymore, I need to be consoled with more vampire sexing. Plus, you promised me some nude Seph in that one soon.”
Sephy-Pants: “…”
...if any of you are active on Twitter, I sometimes post FFVII-related silliness there, and have found a really wonderfully-batty community of fans there I think you'd quite like. If you wish, seek me out there so we can keep up with each other! I use my real-life pen name there, Athlynne Morley, and I can be found @athlynne81.
He’d failed. He knew the wound was fatal by the flash of stem-green in her eyes and the fading that began. Her life flame was seeping into the air around them…despite all the warnings, from her hinting comments, from Sephiroth’s taunts, Aerith was dying, as though all the fate and Fate they’d challenged had been for less than nothing.
Cradling her, Cloud’s eyes scanned her somehow-smiling face as though trying to read every yet-unseen bit of her soul with the time they had. Words he didn’t consider consciously leaped to his numb lips.
“You…were right.”
She smiled. Gaia, what a smile, more peaceful now than ever before even though the world was ending. Her light voice came like the last trembling of a candle flame.
“Every moment…mattered.”
I'm onto you, Nomura-san, with your faulty translations and misdirection and probably flux capacitors before this thing is over with...
I was watching a collection of Sephy's appearances in Remake part 1, and it occurred to me - in his first appearance to Cloud, the first time they talk, and you see Cloud calling for his mother while Sephy is talking about cold steel rending her flesh or something, I think we all assumed oh, shit, Cloud's mom wasn't a casualty of the fire, Sephy sought her out and deliberately killed her. But...
What if he was referring to Aerith? If Remake is, in a sense, both Aerith and Sephy each attempting a massive do-over, if they've both in some way come from the future, Sephy could be taunting Cloud not about his mother's death, but Aerith's, the one he more famously was unable to save.
Naturally, being of a SaveSephy mindset all the time, I'd like to think Sephy is, in his own autistic way, poking Cloud the way he is, and being so cryptic with his words, to give him a chance to keep Aerith alive. Why? I don't know. Maybe he needs her help with something. Maybe it's only because of the fondness he had for Zack.
I know, there is that other line, about "her begging me to spare you," but if Aerith's death scene comes about in a future part of Remake, it wouldn't be out of character for Aerith to try to protect Cloud, to even offer herself in his place. This is where, ideally, Zack makes a heroic entrance. :)
What do you think? Am I completely crackers? Or am I making unauthorized entries into Nomura-san's brain like I did in the Madness days?
Zack: "Don't remind me, please."
Zack here. And I just...I can't even.
The Crazy Lady had been keeping some of her my-world stuff on her altar, which is creepy enough and goes along with the weird way she seems to view me. I mean, I wanted to be a hero, not the center of some fangirl's bizarre worship. Well, now she's set up a second altar next to her religious one, this one especially for FFVII (that's what it's called, right?) stuff. Except for the me-plushie, which she keeps closer to her so she can hold it with no delay whenever she wants. If this is what being on a pedestal is like, no wonder Seph hardly ever smiles.
I've been trying to work through this with my therapist, but it's not really working, because how the heck do I explain Amarissia to him? Enough people at ShinRa think she's, like, my imaginary friend, when she's not either of those two words. Advice is appreciated if you have any. Later, girls!
...and life keeps getting weirder. Like I told Aer, I've never claimed to be particularly normal, what with being injected with pseudo-magic planet goop in order to do my job, and being engaged to a guy who sometimes doesn't put me down for days on end, and let's not even go in the direction of Genesis the perv and Seph the sometimes-even-I-can't-believe-he's-real.
Crazy Lady has upgraded her crazy. Every time I think we've reached the ground floor of her crazy, she reveals a crazy basement. She got a me-plushie (it's pretty cute, I have to admit) and she's now carrying it around, and sitting and hugging it whenever she doesn't need both hands. She says it's comforting, and yeah, I guess, I've heard stuff like that is normal for autistic people, but why me? WHY ME? I need to cross-stitch that on something at this point.
Rant over. Thanks for listening, fangirls-who-I-actually-like!
- Zack
YAYZ! It's official, you cannot legally discriminate against someone in the workplace on the basis of sexual orientation! We're very happy in Ammy-chan's little corner of the world, although the Choir are more confused than anything.
Genesis: "I need you to explain again. You mean some people dislike other people...based on what gender they want to fuck?"
For the 18th time, Gen, yes, basically.
Genesis: *rubs his temples* "And...why?"
There isn't a good reason. Not one I've ever been able to find, at least.
Genesis: "Between this and those sexually-transmitted whatevers you showed me nightmare-fuel pictures of, I'm newly glad to be an inhabitant of Gaia and not your world, Pervert Twin."
In case you guys haven't heard me say so before, apparently my Choir's version of Gaia, at least, doesn't have homophobia, because such a large chunk of the population is gay. (This is why you never find in my stories any homophobia or worrying about homophobia; the Choir inspire the fics.) And of course in an institution like SOLDIER, straight men are actually the minority.
Zack: *laughs* "Those few are lucky, though, since there aren't many of them to share the SOLDIER girl-groupies who hang around and screech at us."
Genesis: *mutters* "Unnatural if you ask me. If Gaia had intended men and women to copulate, She would've given them both penises."
Zack: "Uh, we kinda need straight people to, you know, do most of the reproducing."
Unless you want to leave it all to science and test tubes.
Sephiroth: *frowns at that*
Gen, I think you just look down on straights because they make you think of your own parents.
Genesis: "Hmph. Back to writing, PT."
I told you, Gen, later, I have work to do now.
Genesis: "I have a Puppy who needs doing. Vampire smut-fic plz."
I started the new chapter, it's basically plotted, I promise I'll get to it soon. Gen, where are you going? Uh, Gen, if the noises that just started are any indication, Angeal and Zack, uh, don't want to be disturbed.
Genesis: "Yeah, yeah, just going to the keyhole."
Sephy-Pants: "..."
Genesis: "Typical Seph."
Love never fails...unlike spying on your best friend and his bit of hot stuff. Everyone, please cross your fingers that Genesis is not discovered and trounced for his misdeeds. Hope you're all having a good day out there.
