The Place That Is Mine

To those of you who don't know, I'm now at the name t3hflyingcouch. To those of you whom I added in the last month, sorry it's going over now, but it happens, I s'ppose. ^^; If you still think I'm interesting, go ahead and add me back, if not, no hard feelings, I'll just stay up at night and knit a sweater or sommin'. Have a good one!

Out.

~Alloran

Cocoa Puffs make my life better.

I'm sleepy. Seven hours and I'll be able to pass out and not move, though I'll probably nap before then.

The internet is for porn. But only if you're not on dialup.

I haven't showered in two days, and I've worked twice during that amount of time. I'm filthy. I just thought I'd share my lack of hygiene with you all.

I forgot to mention this the other day, but during training for Fedex, one of the videos we watched explained about disgrunteled workers and how we should avoid them. This made me giggle.

Yeah. Power nap for three and a half hours. Sounds good.

Note to me: Start time tonight is 11:45 instead of 12:15

Out.

~Alloran

I fucking hate the fact that you can think you're over something. Days, weeks, months will pass and everything'll be fine. Then something happens and BAM, you realize 'Nope! Not over this at ALL. Or this, either! Oh, there's this too!'






Fuck.

~Alloran

I've spent the day wasting away watching Jason play old NES games. I got my loan stuff done. That's about it.

I need to stop being stupid and think with my main head and not the other one that usually controls a guys actions a my age.

Not only is my 'tention span gone, my lanuage abilities have taken a huge hit as well. I need to look into this.

Birthday in 13 days. ::is excited::

~Alloran

I am here today to mourn the death of my attention span. It has gone away. Not just a little bit, but almost completely. It is now akin to that of a goldfish.

Game was good fun last night. Got to see Matt not in Boston Matt, and got to meet a cute friend of his. Random rediculousness happened all throughout the evening, and that's always a good indicator of it being good.

I randomly fell asleep a lot earlier than I intended to last night. I've been sleeping A LOT recently.

I need to fill out a number of loan papers today online. I should get to that now, but the 'tention span thing.

But I'm out of things to update here, so I'm out.

Out.

~Alloran

Hung out with Cindy tonight. Watched 'Detroit Rock City' and 'Almost Famous.' Two very good movies that I hadn't seen before. They got me thinking. Quite a bit, in fact. I feel as if there's something missing in my life. I can't put my finger on it, though, but now that I think about it, this feeling has been around for a while. It's not a relationship that I'm missing. I just... I don't know. In the movies the main characters (some of which were attractive, and I'd definately put out for the chick in 'Almost Famous') had a _drive_. They LIVED for something. I don't have anything to be my Morocco. My Kiss concert. It's alwasy 'one of these days things will be better.' It'll get better once I get out of High School. It'll get better once I move back home. It'll get better when I move to Germany. Fuck that. I don't want to wait for fucking later, I want it to happen NOW. I dunno, though. I don't think I'd know what to do with a good thing if it screamed in my face "I'm a GOOD THING. Fucking PAY ATTENTION to me!!!!!111one" I guess I'm overly cynical, especially to myself. Every time I feel something, a little voice in the back of my head is cynical about it. I guess this is the 'one step back' that comes with the 'two steps forward.' I can fucking _feel_ things now, but I don't think I deserve it. Fuck. I dunno. I'm sick of looking at my friends and thinking to myself 'these people are my betters' instead of 'these people are my equals.' It's the same reason I try to convince Debbie she doesn't need to waste the gas coming dowm, or I feel so Goddamn guilty leaning on Jason for transportaion and whatnot. Because it's part of my very nature to feel as if they're my betters instead of my equals. Which goes back to the emotion thing. You may have noticed every time I get upset or angry, and post about it, I say something self-depriciating afterword. I have a goddamn right to my emotions. I don't need to depriciate myself, 'specially to the people I consider friends. It's _okay_ to lean on people whom you care about, heaven knows they do it to you back. I can say it, maybe someday soon I'll believe it. I dunno. My friend Tim has been on my ass for a while now about my inability to take a compliment. ::sigh:: Okay. To recount. a) I feel like I'm missing something. b) I'm frustrated with the way I view the world, and don't really know how to change it. And, of course, I have to fit all this introspection around work and school and generally being upset at the world. Which I have a right to be. I do. And I'll convince myself of that someday.
... About this time is when I start getting on myself. Apologizing for 'taking your time' or 'taking up space on your friends page.' Fuck that. I'm not gonna do that anymore. I'm gonna go. Maybe sleep will help me. I'm not gonna lie and say I'm not tired, but meh.

Oh, Jason. If you read this before I call you tomorrow, the dynasty has decided it hates all forms of oil and spits them on the ground, so I'll need a ride. I'll give you a call sometime after two, probably.

Out.

~Alloran

I actuall worked at work today instead of watched 'we assume you have no common sense' videos. I got put on a position called 'secondary sort.' The packages come down ramps, and according to their airport code (you know, those three letters that mean which airport?) we put them on one of six conveyers. My manager lady said that it was 'the most physically demanding job in the company.' I'm not too sure about that, but meh. It was pretty demanding nontheless. Something it seems like I'll be able to do, though.

There is no food in this house. Can't make a grilled cheese 'cause there's no bread. ::is sad::

Out.

~Alloran

So apparently through my work after 90 days I'm insured for 5000 dollars against dismemberment. This makes me giggle a lot, and I don't know why.

I've discovered that after a few years of making it a point not to lie, there's been one person whom I've consistantly lied to. I need to fix that and stop lying to my damn self.

I need to do some papers. They're due in about four hours. I'll get to 'em.

Caught the last part of Leno tonight during break. He had on five pianists playing a piece each with different parts. It was really nifty, 'specially since it was a 'West Side Story' Medly.

Yeah, off to do work, after I check me friend's page.

Out.

~Alloran

Well, day one of work done. Three years to go! Woo...

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/n…
^That made me laugh and laugh and laugh. It _could_ be from the lack of sleep(tm) but it's probably just because it's damn funny. Or not.

I find that FedEx isn't that bad as of now. We'll see how much that changes when I actually have to do work instead of watching videos as to why it's bad to stick your head into a jet intake thingie. Engine, that's what it's called. ^^;;

Yeah.

Um...

I think I'm done here. Probably. Be back later. Maybe.

Out.

There should be a mood icon for sleepy and awake at the same time. Caffiene High, or sommin'.

~Alloran

I was told that I act 'charmingly fruity' sometimes. Anyone else notice this?

And ERIN! You, Erin, in New Hampshire! You need to be online more often. So I can talk at you and whatnot. And you to, Siri! ::puppy dog eyes::

Jut ate sleepy goin' to bed now k bye.

~Alloran