My Interviews of Inferno and Constriction

This is me channeling Sarah Palin that watched and read too much Sci-Fi telling a bed time story to her kids. You probably don't want to read this, it's horrible. I'm way too drunk, and honestly just trying to get back in a writing groove.

Sarah Palin rolled the covers up to her child's neck and gently patted her head. Pulling a chair close to the bed she sat and leaned close to the little girl.

"Honey, I have a very scary story to tell you, so hold on tight to the covers."

"Sure, mommy. Are you going to read from a book?"

"What's a book? Oh! You mean kindling. Yeah we don't need that."

The child gripped the sheets tight, and waited for her mother to begin.

"Well honey it all started in 1770 something, and Paul Revere had a very important job. You see he lived in the far far past, in a land far far away where they let men try to marry other men or even aliens."

The child grimaced. She had heard this story before.

Sarah continued,"Well Paul Revere's job was very important he had to protect all of America. So he stood on the top of a big hill. As he looked out over the Pacific Ocean he saw miles of flying zepplins. And on those zepplins were swastikas, and athiest symbols, and communists, and even gays. They were shouting how they were going to take our guns, steal our snow, and raise out taxes. Paul Revere knew his duties though and leaped on his mechanical moose named Charlton and rode down the hill. Charlton knew how important this mission was and his eyes blazed like the Aurora Borealis, and he snorted oil out his nose like a broken pipeline."

She paused and had a sip of a white russian, or as they call it in Alaska; polar bear love juice. She then continued.

"Paul Revere road into town, and used his cyborg megaphone made from parts of Ronald Regan's brain, and Kissenger's scrotum. The megaphone blared out the warning,'the jews and zombies are coming, the jews and zombies are coming.' The villagers exited their house during their nightly prayer to Glenn Beck, and readied their light sabres to defend the town. The zepplins began arriving on shore and dumped their zealots carrying copies of the New Yorker, and Noam Chomsky books."

"But little did they know that the villagers were prepared, and Paul Revere loaded his nuclear missle into his musket, and told the invaders,'you shall not pass!' They however did not listen, instead they commanded their giant sandworms they called Shai'hulud to swallow all of America whole. Paul Revere wasn't scared he was trained by Arnold Schwarzenegger for this. He ordered SETI to open up a gigantic wormhole to swallow the sandworms, and then read from Deuteronomy 2.23 and the zealots all turned into salt."

At that point Sarah's daughter had just about fallen asleep while her mother had reached a fever pitch in her story telling.

"And that honey is how Jesus saved America, the Constitution was born, and Paul Revere defeated the Sandworms."

Sarah gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek, and went to go watch Jack Van Impe.

I had to spit this out. Spit it out right now. I have such a disgusting taste and film left in my mouth that it needed to go somewhere.

I take this incredible vacation. One where I have a great time, remember things that are important, and get over things that are bothering me. I need to make sure that I post about the brighter things as opposed to some of my hate and venom that will be coming out shortly. However here I am. Upset, and furious, and feeling nerves twitch.

So Bethie, the partner you're dating apparently likes to push me around. I never view love, or relationships as a game. There isn't winning or loosing, or fuck of all anything like that. But it appears she does. So what does she want me to say? You won? Okay. You won. I use to think it's guilt that caused her to have these bouts of social arm wrestling with me, now I know it isn't that. It's so damned hardwired into her that she can't control it. She won't pick on someone that she know she doesn't have the better of. But she has the better over me doesn't she? She's not happy with a win by decision. She wants the knockout blow. Huh?

What happened? Well this.... Someone had to speak to you, she ordered me to speak to you. She ordered me to talk to you. Isn't that heinous? All those emotions I had locked in a metal safe, then dumped into freshly poured concrete were gone. But, no, that's not enough she wants them spilling out in front of her. Then after she orders me to talk to you, she orders me to insult you. She orders me to question you, then she orders me to over right what you're telling me. She's creating friction. She's manufacturing discontent. This is probably what she's done from the beginning.

What I am now focused on is myself. My life. Sometimes I wish I could send these to you. For you to tell her to leave me alone. Tell her to stop abusing her power. Look at the things I could've done to make work life miserable for you, and her. Have I done any of them? No. I haven't. Respect that, like I have in your attempt at finding happiness.

Oh and did I mention she almost had this fucking vicious, starved dog bite me? I have it calm, relaxed, it's about to let me pet it and she throws food right in between us. The damn thing almost took my hand off trying to get it, and stop me from getting it. I was close to shooting the poor thing.

Well I figure I'd include a basic itinerary of my trip, mostly so I can remember, but in case anyone else may be interested.

Wednesday: I have a bit of a wonky flight schedule. I have to drive to Tampa, then fly from there to Miami to Dulles. My sister picks my up there. Honestly nothing major happens other than I get to see downtown Bethesda which is pretty. And appears to be turning into a little bit of a hipster paradise.

Thursday: First is my nephews 4th grade graduation. 4th grade is kind of a big deal there because they go from a smaller campus to a much larger one. If I haven't mentioned he goes to the same school Present Obama, VP Biden, David Gregory, and a bunch of other rich and famous people. It's honestly very expensive, and exclusive. After that I take the subway to DC and spend time going along the museums located along The Mall.

If you don't know what The Mall is it's basically an area from the Capital to the Lincoln Memorial where alongside it you most of the Smithsonian Museums, major government buildings, etc.

I take pictures, I educate myself, I walk a lot, I sweat a lot (the highs were in the 100s for the early part of my stay), I have a great time. In case you don't know all the Smithsonian museums are free.

Friday: First I go to my niece's play which apparently her school kind of haphazardly put together, but it was still cute. Then I go with my nephew to the DC Zoo. I'll probably write a longer post on him, and all of my family later. Anyways, the zoo was nice. You know they Pandas and shit. But my nephew didn't really want to be there, and it was still so hot I had sweat leaking out of me in gallons.

My sister, and her husband pick up my nephew and I take the subway back into downtown, and go to even more museums. I was extremely disappointed in the Spy Museum. Imagine if Disney tried to do a museum, and you'd have it. Also it cost almost twenty dollars to get in.

Saturday: My sister, niece and I go to the Phillips Collection (or something) where they had a small but insightful Kadinsky collection on display. She then takes me to Georgetown the neighborhood, Georgetown the school (which she went to), and also to Johns Hopkins where she did her graduate work.

Later that night we go see a Baltimore Orioles game. Which I have to say is one of the best places I've seen a game.

Sunday: Go to the Udvar Hazy Air and Space Museum which is actually in Virginia. It's huge if you've never been there. They have things like the Enola Gay, Concord, and the Enterprise space shuttle.

Later that night my sister and I go to the 930 Club in downtown DC and see The Dodos. I was honestly surprised that she'd want to go. It's not like The Dodos are Cannibal Corpse or something. But she was talking to me about how she likes Paul Simon. But she enjoyed herself, as did I.

Monday: I fly back, with lots of difficulties as soon as I land in Florida. Miami has delays, Hertz fucks me on my rental car, the AC went out at my house, and I had to get a friend to drive me home.


Details to come.

So I leave to go to Washington DC (well actually Rockville Maryland) in about four hours.  Unfortunately when I should be sleeping I can't.   it doesn't have to do with anything specific other than me just normally not normally going to sleep till after two in the morning.

This does however cause my mind to wander.   This trip I'm taking is to visit my sister and her family.  Honestly I'm very proud of my sister, her husband, my niece, and nephew.  Her husband is an economist and worked for years at the IMF till he retired with a full benefits package.  He just recently got a job at Citibank in New York.

Part of the reason for the timing of my trip is for my nephews graduation.   He goes to the same private school that President Obama sends his kids to and  will graduating with honors.  I'm very proud of him.  

He and I will also be spending time together like going to the spy museum in DC and hopefully seeing an Orioles game.

Also it will be nice to see my sister.  I've had very little contact with her since I was a child since we had different mothers and they didn't get along I'm very happy we've bonded.

There is one thing leaving a bitter taste in my mouth is that my ex was suppose to be coming with me.   My sister had a slew of frequent flyer miles she wasn't using and got us the tickets together a couple months ago.

As far as I know she hasn't apologized to my sister for not coming which is very fitting to her personality.   Both my sister and I would've been okay with her say using the ticket to visit her family if she wanted, and well if she was still talking to me I might even of suggested it.

But here is the thing that is leaving the bitter taste in my mouth.  She is still taking the vacation time, and suddenly the person she is now seeing is taking vacation time also.   And from what someone told me that this person is visiting be family on California.   So it'd seem likely they went together to visit her family.  

It honestly isn't surprising.   I guess its mostly the timing of it all.   

Anyways I'll have a bunch of pictures up on Facebook for those of you I have friended.

Also I hope this comes out okay.   I'm sending this from my phone using the Android app.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

I was talking to a friend about an incident that happened at work...

Me: "So the guy the accidentally shot himself in the head. He calls 911 himself, while being shot in the head, then when the first people get there he's texting."

Friend: "No fucking way."

Me:"Yes, in all seriousness. It happens though. I once watched Sally Jessie Raphael and she had a guest on whose roommate shot him in the back of the head with a crossbow while he was sleeping. It was lodged in his brain. He lived, and was fine."

Friend: "Wooooo. Hold on. You watched Sally Jesse Raphael?"

Interview with ICP members


"I did think," I admit, "that fog constitutes quite a low threshold for miracles."

"Fog?" Violent J says, surprised.

"Well," I clarify, "I've lived around fog my whole life, so maybe I'm blasé."

"Fog, to me, is awesome," he replies. "Do you know why? Because I look at my five-year-old son and I'm explaining to him what fog is and he thinks it's incredible."

"Ah!" I gesticulate. "If you're explaining to your five-year-old son what fog is, then why do you not want to meet scientists? Because they're just like you, explaining things to people…"

"Well," Violent J says, "science is… we don't really… that's like…" He pauses. Then he waves his hands as if to say, "OK, an analogy": "If you're trying to fuck a girl, but her mom's home, fuck her mom! You understand? You want to fuck the girl, but her mom's home? Fuck the mom. See?"

I look blankly at him. "You mean…"

"Now, you don't really feel that way," Violent J says. "You don't really hate her mom. But for this moment when you're trying to fuck this girl, fuck her! And that's what we mean when we say fuck scientists. Sometimes they kill all the cool mysteries away. When I was a kid, they couldn't tell you how pyramids were made…"

"Like Stonehenge and Easter Island," says Shaggy. "Nobody knows how that shit got there."

"But since then, scientists go, 'I've got an explanation for that.' It's like, fuck you! I like to believe it was something out of this world."

I have to say I totally am enamored with men with a singular fanatical absurd vision that everyone thinks they are crazy for, and are so driven that they demolish anything that gets in their way. Just people that are so intense that while terrified of them you willingly get caught up in the wake of their tidal wave. This post is mostly generated from recently watching Fitzcarraldo by Werner Herzog, but it made me think of men of fiction like Captain Ahab, and Daniel Plainview, or men in real life like Napoleon, and John Rockefeller, etc.

While I'm not justifying their actions I mostly undeniably just admire their sheer intensity, and determination. While they all do horrific things it's honestly almost refreshing to see someone so honestly admit they are just there to crush you if you get in their way.

In some ways part of seeing someone like that intense is humbling to a man. Often we're taught to be quite driven, and competitive. Now we have an example of someone that will sacrifice everything and anything to reach that goal. Depraved really that men would look up to someone like that, but most do. They may say they are fools, but honestly wish they had the "guts" or intestinal fortitude, or whatever to will something into being. Or at least attempt it where may it end in tragedy it is still attempted.

Either way, I've slowly been researching and looking into men such as these. Youtube clip below of Fitzcarraldo...

Dear XXXXXX,

It's been two and half weeks since you've spoken to me. I do believe both you and XXXXXXXX (I'm sure it's okay that I speak of her in the first name) have realized I know the truth. I'm not sure how, but you do. Well at least she does. XXXXXXXX acts so guilty around me, she can't even handle being in my presence. Which is fine by me, because firstly how she was trying to create small talk with me, and pretend to me my friend was insulting and made me immensely angry. It really just wasn't fair, and down right cruel. And honestly doesn't that put her character in question? I'll leave that up to you to find an answer to.

Now I just wonder why you stopped talking to me. I think since our breakup I've been understanding, fair, and reasonable. When you told me you wouldn't tell me something (if you were seeing someone else)I accepted that, when you changed your mind about the Emergency Contact, and couldn't answer me about the key I was patient over that. I also haven't gone around telling everyone about who are seeing, and creating a difficult situation for the both of you.

Which once it does it will be. First with the fact she's your superior, and you're her subordinate. Second that you both are women and homosexuality still isn't widely accepted. Third that everyone will think of you as, well it doesn't need to be said, but this is the second time you've done this to me. And you know I'm very close to a lot of the *good* people at our work. The people that are actually respected here, and if they ever say anything mean about you I'll defend you. And to the friends I have spoken of about this have said some very mean things about you, and I have defended you also. It's just hard to. An explanation of why would go great lengths in making it easier.

Given all that, I wish you'd still talk to me. You told me the most profound suffering you'd have is if we aren't friends anymore. I earnestly believe I've done a good job in maintaining that. You stated you were the one too angry to communicate, and I've given you space and freedom, and understanding. I even told you that anytime you want to talk I'd be willing to, and it's at your pace. Where are we now though? You haven't talked to me in weeks. And I honestly am willing to talk to you about the things bothering you. I don't mean about the problems or things concerning us. I mean the things concerning you, where you may need help.

I think that one of the reasons you may be having some of the issues you're having is over some things with your father, and the thing I won't speak of here that happened before our relationship. I hope you are getting the counseling you need for that. I'd be willing to help if you needed it.

Even though you've made your decision concerning our relationship (and possibly our friendship) and moved on I'll still love you forever. I get a big black hole in me when I think about how a relationship between us didn't work out. Hopefully one day we can have a friendship.

Well I've been trying to loose weight over the last four months or so. And well finally over the last few months I've really started shedding weight. I'm getting close to twenty five lbs over the last two months. Which I'm pretty happy about. Has it been as healthy as I wished. Well no. But I've rectified that and thankfully am still maintaining a steady weight. Anyways, I was thinking of songs about anorexia, bulimia, and weight loss. And the two that sprung to mind are first Boo Radley's I Wish I was Skinny, which I couldn't find a video for. The second is Manic Street Preachers 4 st 7lb which I did find a video for.

So my best friend at work gets a promotion that he had been working hard to get for a couple years now.

Well this best friend gets a call by the the woman that started seeing my ex when/before/after we broke up to congratulate him. My friend of course knows the whole situation and the conversation went like this...

"Go ahead" him
"'Bout fucking time... Bitch out!" her
"Uhhhh, thanks XXXX" him

Bitch out? What are you? In Step It Up 4? Since he told me this I've been ending many a conversation with "bitch out".



Bitch out!