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I'm a former blogger and LiveJournal poster. (I was ddr_ho on LJ.... I always think of how I miss DDR when I think of LJ.) I am a teacher who has cut out all social media, and am embracing the anonymity of DW.
My posts are usually about decompressing after a day in a 6th grade ELA/ESL classroom at a Title 1 school, my pursuit of financial stability and debt payoff, my journey with sobriety, homebody introvert routines, and other random things my INFJ brain worries about.
If I followed you recently, I probably found you on a reading page from my circle or Latest Things. Also, I will follow back almost anyone (This "almost" covers toxicity and bad vibes).
I'm looking to build a small, supportive circle of diarists who write regularly and value the sense of connection and community on DW. If you're here to share glimpses into your daily life, I'd love to read! To me, it's the perfect antidote to polished social media.
Thanks for stopping by. :)
Hot Hot Summer
Jul. 2nd, 2026 11:13 am It was definitely too hot to walk outside this morning, plus uncomfortable humidity and dew point, so I found this workout for 2500 steps at home and it flew by. I am also adding one of her 10 minute workouts to my circuit to change things up a bit. My circuits are basically a variety of 5 exercises, with a cardio minute between each one for a total of ten minutes. So doing her cardio for a minute then my strength for a minute helped shake things up for the first round today. Aiming for 5 total, so even without the walk it will be a successful exercise day.
I thought about going to the apartment fitness center, but they don't open until 9. It's technically 24/7, but I have no idea where I put my fob. (There's $80 bucks gone if I ever move; hopefully it will turn up.)
6 weeks until work starts, and probably meeting up with my co-teacher for a day soon. My level of enthusiasm is so low. I just genuinely don't want to be there... but it's a job, and a stable one, and that's what I need most right now. It's also allowing me alllll this time to enjoy lots of time at home for 2.5 months, and I'm definitely very enthusiastic about that.
I thought about going to the apartment fitness center, but they don't open until 9. It's technically 24/7, but I have no idea where I put my fob. (There's $80 bucks gone if I ever move; hopefully it will turn up.)
I started working on the next painting project, narrow living room shelves. Getting the first coat on the shelves was easy. The black metal framing looks pretty beaten up, though. I'm not sure whether to paint that, too, or just leave it. You can't really tell from across the room. Painting it would turn this project from a three-day one into a week or two one, but what else am I doing? If I do this halfway, I'll regret it, anyway.
Yesterday I said I wasn't sure I would do anything during my "focus pomodoros" - in Italian it would be pomodori but I have to pull back, like when I want to say "bruschetta" correctly in public - block, but I ended up working on my projects until 1:30. Just getting started really is the hardest bit. I will try to "just start" again today and see how far I get. I also have had this idea for a while to make my own musical focus timer. I don't think I'll start a channel for that (unless I end up with dozens), but I want to see if they are as easy to make as I think they are. Sometimes I'll see teachers use one that has a 100k views and I'll think, man they made $60 probably, just throwing a picture and timer over royalty free music. I know my way around Movavi now (basics, not expert), so I will see if I can make one in 20 minutes as I suspect I can.6 weeks until work starts, and probably meeting up with my co-teacher for a day soon. My level of enthusiasm is so low. I just genuinely don't want to be there... but it's a job, and a stable one, and that's what I need most right now. It's also allowing me alllll this time to enjoy lots of time at home for 2.5 months, and I'm definitely very enthusiastic about that.
I'm moving slower and slower as I settle into break. It's like my body and brain have finally realized I don't have to go back to work and can actually settle down. When I say slow in this case, it's a good thing, not depression. I'm just puttering around, doing things I like to do, and if I don't get to something on my list, it can usually wait until the next day. Watering outside plants is the only thing I really must do daily.
I've walked for 30 minutes for 4 days in a row, plus little circuits at home. The circuits are 10 minutes, with 1 minute step bench/light cardio alternating with strength or Pilates bar exercises. Today I feel more like I need recovery, so I'm doing yoga in between instead. Ten minutes goes so fast, but hitting 5 a day gives me 50 minutes of exercise on top of walking, so I feel like it's sustainable for summer. Especially since there are days in Virginia where walking even at 8 am is a no-go.
I started using the Walking Planet app, which lets you complete virtual trails for doing real-life steps, so that's a nice extra dopamine boost. I hit 10k steps yesterday, and today I'm at 5k at 1 p.m. This isn't something I obsess about during the school year, because I walk so much at work. I know if I get too lethargic that can be bad for my mental health, though.
I finished painting this stand and after a few days of letting the top coat/glaze cure, got it set up today. I'm so happy with how this corner is coming together! I will also add more to the wall to make it gallery wall eventually, but love it already.
I've walked for 30 minutes for 4 days in a row, plus little circuits at home. The circuits are 10 minutes, with 1 minute step bench/light cardio alternating with strength or Pilates bar exercises. Today I feel more like I need recovery, so I'm doing yoga in between instead. Ten minutes goes so fast, but hitting 5 a day gives me 50 minutes of exercise on top of walking, so I feel like it's sustainable for summer. Especially since there are days in Virginia where walking even at 8 am is a no-go.
I started using the Walking Planet app, which lets you complete virtual trails for doing real-life steps, so that's a nice extra dopamine boost. I hit 10k steps yesterday, and today I'm at 5k at 1 p.m. This isn't something I obsess about during the school year, because I walk so much at work. I know if I get too lethargic that can be bad for my mental health, though.
I finished painting this stand and after a few days of letting the top coat/glaze cure, got it set up today. I'm so happy with how this corner is coming together! I will also add more to the wall to make it gallery wall eventually, but love it already.
Here's the before picture (after doing a massive declutter sweep on this corner):
ETA: Details because I would want to know if someone posted this! I used two coats of Dixie Belle chalk paint, in the "Collard Greens" color. Then two coats of Minwax Polycrylic (ultra-fine sanding in between the coats, but not over the final coat). I let each coat dry overnight before applying the next. This is really the most patient I've been with a furniture upcycle, and it shows (bragging on myself). I did the whole thing in my living room on a drop cloth, but kept my balcony door cracked for ventilation. (I also just live in an old drafty place, so I'm not super worried about low VOCs.) Also, ignore the carpet, I really should have vacuumed before picture. I was just very pleased!
It only took 30 minutes to get the second coat of glaze on the wellness stand, so I went for a walk before it got too hot. It was a pleasant 2,743 steps and 32 heart points (Google Fit). The sun was direct enough that I thought I need to get a hat. The image I have of myself in a straw hat - since I'm also wearing olive linen pants and a short-sleeve cotton ivory blouse - is very "elegant middle age" but I probably need more actual style to pull that off; I found it hard to shop online for it, since it's hard to picture what kind of hat I'll actually look good in. The last time I owned one I was in my 20s, long-hippie skirt era. Wide brimmed definitely worked for that, not sure how much I can pull it off now. But also, do I really care how I look?
Actually, yeah, kind of... Not so much do I care what people think of me, but I've found a style I like, and I feel good when I'm in clothes I like. Okay, I went ahead and found a wide brim one I like, since I'm primarily going for sun coverage.
My motivation is getting lower as I settle into summer, so I'm glad I have a gentle routine and micro-habits. The idea of actually finishing this YouTube video shouldn't be that hard, but it seems hard. I know that if I can just open Movavi it will be okay. Oops, but that reminds me I did open Movavi yesterday, and while my video clips are there, my voice recording is not. I'll have to also turn on my old, mostly broken, laptop and see if I can salvage that. (The laptop still turns on, but the monitor is in that part of dying where it's hard to see and also divided into 4 mini-screens.) If not, it's a recording day! My channel is faceless, so I use Audacity for voice recordings. I actually enjoy sound editing, and video editing, too. Getting started is the hardest part. (I say this about everything in my life, I feel like.)
Yesterday I got a bit lost in the thought that the idea of myself as a financial expert in ten years is kind of intriguing, and not one I would have had before starting my channel. I just started that to track my building an emergency fund. Then I did a financial coach certification, and started to picture this as my retirement job in 15 years. That random thought led to me thinking, hmm maybe I could even write a book about my system as I create my videos, and each video creates a piece of that book; which led to me creating a project in Scrivener.
I haven't touched Scrivener in years, since I haven't been writing fiction in as long. It turns out that you have to buy a new version if you had an old version, so I just went ahead and bought the program outright. It's a fantastic program, anyway. So now I have a non-fiction project outlined in there. I'm thinking of this more as a side project, but it also gives me a ten-year vision for the channel and the kinds of videos I'm creating. Right now, I'm definitely still focused on getting my own financial life sorted out, but I'm much more confident that will happen now than I have been at possibly any other time in my life.
Actually, yeah, kind of... Not so much do I care what people think of me, but I've found a style I like, and I feel good when I'm in clothes I like. Okay, I went ahead and found a wide brim one I like, since I'm primarily going for sun coverage.
My motivation is getting lower as I settle into summer, so I'm glad I have a gentle routine and micro-habits. The idea of actually finishing this YouTube video shouldn't be that hard, but it seems hard. I know that if I can just open Movavi it will be okay. Oops, but that reminds me I did open Movavi yesterday, and while my video clips are there, my voice recording is not. I'll have to also turn on my old, mostly broken, laptop and see if I can salvage that. (The laptop still turns on, but the monitor is in that part of dying where it's hard to see and also divided into 4 mini-screens.) If not, it's a recording day! My channel is faceless, so I use Audacity for voice recordings. I actually enjoy sound editing, and video editing, too. Getting started is the hardest part. (I say this about everything in my life, I feel like.)
Yesterday I got a bit lost in the thought that the idea of myself as a financial expert in ten years is kind of intriguing, and not one I would have had before starting my channel. I just started that to track my building an emergency fund. Then I did a financial coach certification, and started to picture this as my retirement job in 15 years. That random thought led to me thinking, hmm maybe I could even write a book about my system as I create my videos, and each video creates a piece of that book; which led to me creating a project in Scrivener.
I haven't touched Scrivener in years, since I haven't been writing fiction in as long. It turns out that you have to buy a new version if you had an old version, so I just went ahead and bought the program outright. It's a fantastic program, anyway. So now I have a non-fiction project outlined in there. I'm thinking of this more as a side project, but it also gives me a ten-year vision for the channel and the kinds of videos I'm creating. Right now, I'm definitely still focused on getting my own financial life sorted out, but I'm much more confident that will happen now than I have been at possibly any other time in my life.
Monday (I love not working)
Jun. 8th, 2026 10:38 am I ended up not making a huge amount of progress on the wellness stand glazing. I got through two of the tiered surfaces (of six) before I decided it's really not the fun part of the project. But at least I got started before enjoying my morning French treat (below) and I have all the time in the world to do this summer's painting projects, so no rush. I did promise some pictures, though, so here's the before pic and a little progress!
I went for a little 11-minute walk around the neighborhood, and so far no headache at the base of my skull. So I'm calling that a win! I will keep doing 5 minute movement breaks throughout the day, too.
I've been thinking about a huge Paris trip in 4 years. This is a pure daydream, based on the concept that I can save $400/month for 4 years and have almost $20k to spend. In this scenario, I go on the almost-first-class seats on Icelandair, and rent an apartment for a month.
Like I said, pure daydream. But I'm re-reading Still Life, the first of a popular mystery series set outside Montreal, and that has kicked up some cravings for croissants and baguettes. So today I'm having a few French Interludes. The morning one was lovely, with a croissant and raspberry jam on the patio. Upcoming is baguette with gruyere cheese and merlot (just a mini-box; I really can't handle drinking much post head injury, but I'm also drinking tons of water today and can take a nap after). It feels like a nice little mini-vacation!
I went for a little 11-minute walk around the neighborhood, and so far no headache at the base of my skull. So I'm calling that a win! I will keep doing 5 minute movement breaks throughout the day, too.
I've been thinking about a huge Paris trip in 4 years. This is a pure daydream, based on the concept that I can save $400/month for 4 years and have almost $20k to spend. In this scenario, I go on the almost-first-class seats on Icelandair, and rent an apartment for a month.
Like I said, pure daydream. But I'm re-reading Still Life, the first of a popular mystery series set outside Montreal, and that has kicked up some cravings for croissants and baguettes. So today I'm having a few French Interludes. The morning one was lovely, with a croissant and raspberry jam on the patio. Upcoming is baguette with gruyere cheese and merlot (just a mini-box; I really can't handle drinking much post head injury, but I'm also drinking tons of water today and can take a nap after). It feels like a nice little mini-vacation!
On Sundays I like to be screen free until noon (with phone off since 8:30 Saturday night). This morning I probably would have slept until 7 but my cat wouldn't have it, so I got up at 6 & did my morning pages and stretching.
I got a lot of chores done and reading, plus a little knitting and furniture painting. Today I was just touching up the second coat on the wellness stand, so that tomorrow it will be ready for the protective coat. I will add photos tomorrow with the before and after. 😊
The first thing I did was get on Duolingo for 30 minutes and test out of a few French units. I restarted the course (before I quit) because I had gone back to it after focusing on Korean and Spanish. I didn't have enough of an understanding of the different tenses to do ok on the reviews... But even after a break the lower levels are a bit too easy, so I'm skipping what I can.
I quit Duolingo when the energy system came in, but I am on a month trial of premium now; it's easy to lose time on it.
I'm not sure what I'll do with the rest of the afternoon. I think Sunday will be an exception from the summer routine I started yesterday... Just want to go with the flow today.
I got a lot of chores done and reading, plus a little knitting and furniture painting. Today I was just touching up the second coat on the wellness stand, so that tomorrow it will be ready for the protective coat. I will add photos tomorrow with the before and after. 😊
The first thing I did was get on Duolingo for 30 minutes and test out of a few French units. I restarted the course (before I quit) because I had gone back to it after focusing on Korean and Spanish. I didn't have enough of an understanding of the different tenses to do ok on the reviews... But even after a break the lower levels are a bit too easy, so I'm skipping what I can.
I quit Duolingo when the energy system came in, but I am on a month trial of premium now; it's easy to lose time on it.
I'm not sure what I'll do with the rest of the afternoon. I think Sunday will be an exception from the summer routine I started yesterday... Just want to go with the flow today.
Saturday morning
May. 16th, 2026 07:30 am 7:31 & I've been awake since the usual 5 a.m. wake up. That's ok, because I do notice everything works better (mind and body) when I have a steady wake up time.
I uninstalled discord. I feel weird about it, like every time I leave social media. I can't tell, still, if it's actually making me more isolated, or if I'm just letting go of the illusion that these people are really my friends. I mean, I believe genuine connection is possible online, or I wouldn't be here. But also, when it comes to places like Facebook (quit a long time ago) and discord, where I have a mix of irl community and people I've never met - but who have also helped me in hard times - I just don't know. Mainly it always comes back to not wanting to spend all my free time on a computer or phone. And if people really care, they have my email and phone number.
Anyway, I'm definitely cocooning, because work is so draining. But even in summer, I don't see myself socializing much. A trip to the coffee shop or library every few weeks is usually enough to help me fill my cup if I'm alone too much. Generally I really enjoy my own company, and I'm looking forward to taking care of my living environment a little more.
Today I'm going to spend a little time on my YouTube channel, which is something I'm not very steady with. I have a long term vision for it, though, something I can build over 15 years and have as a "job" in retirement. So missing months in between videos doesn't feel like a complete loss in that view. It's something I'm still learning how to do, and figuring a lot out as I go along. I'm a believer in doing things badly being the way to get better.
Then I'll have a full hour of VAT (vibroacoustic therapy) at home. I love this setup, and the days that I prioritize doing it for 15 minutes when I come home are days I feel like I am able to function in the afternoon/evening and not just crash. Yesterday I didn't do it and I thought I felt OK. I enjoyed the new season of Welcome to Wrexham beginning. But today I'm still feeling the nervous energy from the work week and VAT really helps me clear that out and "reset."
I uninstalled discord. I feel weird about it, like every time I leave social media. I can't tell, still, if it's actually making me more isolated, or if I'm just letting go of the illusion that these people are really my friends. I mean, I believe genuine connection is possible online, or I wouldn't be here. But also, when it comes to places like Facebook (quit a long time ago) and discord, where I have a mix of irl community and people I've never met - but who have also helped me in hard times - I just don't know. Mainly it always comes back to not wanting to spend all my free time on a computer or phone. And if people really care, they have my email and phone number.
Anyway, I'm definitely cocooning, because work is so draining. But even in summer, I don't see myself socializing much. A trip to the coffee shop or library every few weeks is usually enough to help me fill my cup if I'm alone too much. Generally I really enjoy my own company, and I'm looking forward to taking care of my living environment a little more.
Today I'm going to spend a little time on my YouTube channel, which is something I'm not very steady with. I have a long term vision for it, though, something I can build over 15 years and have as a "job" in retirement. So missing months in between videos doesn't feel like a complete loss in that view. It's something I'm still learning how to do, and figuring a lot out as I go along. I'm a believer in doing things badly being the way to get better.
Then I'll have a full hour of VAT (vibroacoustic therapy) at home. I love this setup, and the days that I prioritize doing it for 15 minutes when I come home are days I feel like I am able to function in the afternoon/evening and not just crash. Yesterday I didn't do it and I thought I felt OK. I enjoyed the new season of Welcome to Wrexham beginning. But today I'm still feeling the nervous energy from the work week and VAT really helps me clear that out and "reset."
(no subject)
Apr. 21st, 2026 01:53 pm I've really gotten out of the habit of DW. 😕
I finally got my car situation settled. I just sold it (for very little), and am in the Lyft back home. It's bittersweet, but I am glad to have it done with, at least, and a little more to add to my cushion.
I've been making a lot of dishcloths for home use, and little crochet things for my school rewards store. Worry worms and turtle backpack charms/ lip balm holders.
I've been watching a lot of TV: After Fallout, I watched all of Ghosts, then The Residence and now Bad Sisters.
Today we had off work because a lot of schools are polling places, and Virginia is having a special election for gerrymandering. I voted yes.
My mood is a bit low, looking forward to getting home and resting a bit, cooking and watching TV.
I finally got my car situation settled. I just sold it (for very little), and am in the Lyft back home. It's bittersweet, but I am glad to have it done with, at least, and a little more to add to my cushion.
I've been making a lot of dishcloths for home use, and little crochet things for my school rewards store. Worry worms and turtle backpack charms/ lip balm holders.
I've been watching a lot of TV: After Fallout, I watched all of Ghosts, then The Residence and now Bad Sisters.
Today we had off work because a lot of schools are polling places, and Virginia is having a special election for gerrymandering. I voted yes.
My mood is a bit low, looking forward to getting home and resting a bit, cooking and watching TV.
My home spa in progress
Mar. 19th, 2026 04:36 pmI started putting together my vibroacoustic bed - a setup where you listen to relaxing music /binaural beats and feel the frequency vibrate through the bed for relaxation purposes - build last night, and it went pretty well. I got farther than I expected. I was just planning to get everything out of the boxes and make sure I had the parts. Before I knew it, I was connecting the bass shaker to the amp, and the amp to the laptop. Then I cut up just enough of my futon fabric to expose wood to mount the bass shaker. (This wasn't perfect, but it works great.)
Then I hit a wall, trying to figure out how to get the amp to pick up from the USB-C, and my headphones to also play the music. I tried a work around using Sound Mixer, but that didn't work, either. So I got as far as downloading Soundmeeter, but my brain was feeling frazzled by that point; and I had already made way more progress with it than I had planned.
When I got home from work today, it took less than 2 minutes to get everything running the way that I wanted it to ! Definitely pays off to wait till I'm less frazzled. (Give that brain a break from head injury recovery, I guess.) And then I had 15 minutes of deep relaxation, because it really felt so good. ( I would have done more, but I have CPR training tonight. So tomorrow will be in a whole hour.)
I'm really pleased with how it worked out... and that I can do this whenever I want at home, instead of driving 20 minutes to the place and only getting to do it once a month for free.
Then I hit a wall, trying to figure out how to get the amp to pick up from the USB-C, and my headphones to also play the music. I tried a work around using Sound Mixer, but that didn't work, either. So I got as far as downloading Soundmeeter, but my brain was feeling frazzled by that point; and I had already made way more progress with it than I had planned.
When I got home from work today, it took less than 2 minutes to get everything running the way that I wanted it to ! Definitely pays off to wait till I'm less frazzled. (Give that brain a break from head injury recovery, I guess.) And then I had 15 minutes of deep relaxation, because it really felt so good. ( I would have done more, but I have CPR training tonight. So tomorrow will be in a whole hour.)
I'm really pleased with how it worked out... and that I can do this whenever I want at home, instead of driving 20 minutes to the place and only getting to do it once a month for free.
(no subject)
Feb. 8th, 2026 05:53 pmI just need to post something... It feels like a lot has happened, and I want to go into details but for now I guess this will be a placeholder.
I was in an accident last Monday. I'm ok, but mild head injury. I got checked out right away, and nothing serious. I am pretty sure I have a mild concussion, just with some of the symptoms, but they are clearing up quickly. So I'm ok with just "contusion" being on the record for now. The accident wasn't my fault, but I am not going through therapy for this. I'm seeing enough progress as the days pass that I'm not worried about it.
Tomorrow after work I'll go to the tow yard to clean out my car, which is almost certainly totaled. I'll try to write more about the accident after that.
I'm pretty sad about my car, but considering how everything has been, I'm grateful.
I was in an accident last Monday. I'm ok, but mild head injury. I got checked out right away, and nothing serious. I am pretty sure I have a mild concussion, just with some of the symptoms, but they are clearing up quickly. So I'm ok with just "contusion" being on the record for now. The accident wasn't my fault, but I am not going through therapy for this. I'm seeing enough progress as the days pass that I'm not worried about it.
Tomorrow after work I'll go to the tow yard to clean out my car, which is almost certainly totaled. I'll try to write more about the accident after that.
I'm pretty sad about my car, but considering how everything has been, I'm grateful.
BTS and storm coming
Jan. 24th, 2026 08:22 amRecovering from the flu has been a job, but I've also managed to get back to work this week (minus the Monday holiday) and was only laid flat after work one or two days. I'm so easily distractable. Reddit is my favorite rabbit hole of late, and I was kind of curious about how things went with the BTS ticket pre-sale. I used to be a massive fan, but not so much the last year or two. I was even watching content pretty steadily through military service, with each solo release, and was really excited when they all got released from the military. It's hard to pinpoint why I stopped being emotionally invested, and the easiest way to say it is that things just didn't feel the same. I stopped believing a lot of the group's messaging, and once those idealistic lenses were off, it was harder to care at all. I actually completely forgot about the tickets going on sale until someone at work told me she was getting them.
Anyway, I'm not going and feel pretty ambivalent about it. The only thing that feels a little weird is looking back on my fandom years. I loved them SO MUCH I flew across the country to see them in LA after the pandemic. There was a desperation to be there, and a true joy once I was there. But also it was exhausting and expensive, so I guess it's just going in that bucket of "life experiences that were fun but I don't need to do again."
Getting ready for the storm is pretty easy. I have my staples set, mostly peanut butter and crispbread. I don't have a lot in the fridge right now, but hopefully the stuff in the freezer will be okay. I think salmon and chicken nuggets are the only thing I'll have to offer to the crows if the power outages go too long. We're getting a LOT of freezing rain, so will consider myself ridiculously lucky if power holds out. I've got my sleeping bag ready so I think Mochi and I will do fine.
I'm quite worried about the community cats, but I've done all I can do, including a shelter with straw that continues to be unused. I haven't seen them this freezing morning, and I hope that means they are somewhere warm or even that someone has taken them in. Probably wishful thinking, but I keep remembering that one of the young ones vanished in the summer and came back super friendly and with a tipped ear; so I know someone else is looking out for them.
I also just need to get the dishwasher loaded and running, and laundry done, so that's all to a decent place before the storm hits.
Anyway, I'm not going and feel pretty ambivalent about it. The only thing that feels a little weird is looking back on my fandom years. I loved them SO MUCH I flew across the country to see them in LA after the pandemic. There was a desperation to be there, and a true joy once I was there. But also it was exhausting and expensive, so I guess it's just going in that bucket of "life experiences that were fun but I don't need to do again."
Getting ready for the storm is pretty easy. I have my staples set, mostly peanut butter and crispbread. I don't have a lot in the fridge right now, but hopefully the stuff in the freezer will be okay. I think salmon and chicken nuggets are the only thing I'll have to offer to the crows if the power outages go too long. We're getting a LOT of freezing rain, so will consider myself ridiculously lucky if power holds out. I've got my sleeping bag ready so I think Mochi and I will do fine.
I'm quite worried about the community cats, but I've done all I can do, including a shelter with straw that continues to be unused. I haven't seen them this freezing morning, and I hope that means they are somewhere warm or even that someone has taken them in. Probably wishful thinking, but I keep remembering that one of the young ones vanished in the summer and came back super friendly and with a tipped ear; so I know someone else is looking out for them.
I also just need to get the dishwasher loaded and running, and laundry done, so that's all to a decent place before the storm hits.
Rest/Recovery
Jan. 18th, 2026 04:13 pm I'm doing better but need to rest after every ten minutes of being lightly active. This morning I got a few chores done, then slept the rest of the morning. I'm going to try to sit up and watch TV for a little while. I just took a shower and did about 15 minutes of stretching, so this is the most active I've been consistently in days.
I opened up the trap I bought for TNR and I am not sure it's going to work. It was advertised on eBay as being for raccoons, but it's pretty flimsy. I may just shell out and buy the nice one the rescuers recommended. Even though I can rent from the place I have the TNR appointment, it's quite a drive. I like the idea of having my own. I don't know what to do with this flimsy one though. I might still use it for "trap training," where you put food in there without setting the trap, so they get used to going into it.
I'm really glad I cancelled the 2027 cruise for financial reasons, but I also miss the feeling of having something to look forward to. So I will see what more affordable, smaller luxuries I can put on the calendar - or maybe even start planning for the Alaska trip in 2033. The easiest choice for that is Nome, but I do like planning, so I can take time figuring out how to get there and how long to stay. And that doesn't cost anything!
I opened up the trap I bought for TNR and I am not sure it's going to work. It was advertised on eBay as being for raccoons, but it's pretty flimsy. I may just shell out and buy the nice one the rescuers recommended. Even though I can rent from the place I have the TNR appointment, it's quite a drive. I like the idea of having my own. I don't know what to do with this flimsy one though. I might still use it for "trap training," where you put food in there without setting the trap, so they get used to going into it.
I'm really glad I cancelled the 2027 cruise for financial reasons, but I also miss the feeling of having something to look forward to. So I will see what more affordable, smaller luxuries I can put on the calendar - or maybe even start planning for the Alaska trip in 2033. The easiest choice for that is Nome, but I do like planning, so I can take time figuring out how to get there and how long to stay. And that doesn't cost anything!
(no subject)
Jan. 5th, 2026 07:57 am Good morning! I wasn't on DW much in the last few days before travel. Thanks for comments! Just a quick update before I embark.
Yesterday was a rough travel day: barely made it to the gate for the flight out of RIC, ATL flight canceled, to the new flight gate promptly then that was moved from A to D... I'm glad I'm traveling with my aunt, who is very chill (while I'm beating myself up about anything and everything).
Yesterday was a rough travel day: barely made it to the gate for the flight out of RIC, ATL flight canceled, to the new flight gate promptly then that was moved from A to D... I'm glad I'm traveling with my aunt, who is very chill (while I'm beating myself up about anything and everything).
Patting myself on the back for not traveling on the same day as cruise, because that would have been a nightmare.
Hotel is fab, though, and I'm enjoying their freshly ground coffee with a hot breakfast.
Heading to cruise at 11! 🚢
I remember walking to school as a teenager and noticing an elderly man who watered his garden every morning at the exact time I passed by. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would be up that early if they didn’t have to. (I assumed a lot back then, but that’s sixteen for you.) Now, I’ve become that person. On my days off, I wake up before dawn to enjoy my routines and get everything done before lunch so I can laze about all afternoon.
(I don’t know if that man ever lazed about, but I certainly do.)
I don’t really celebrate holidays anymore. Since I’m usually desperate for downtime and a break from being around people, I’ve created my own solo traditions - like a Harry Potter marathon - and specific foods that I love. I’m content. In the back of my mind, I know there is always the option to start new traditions with friends who also don’t have local family if I ever crave human contact. So far, though, that hasn't been the case.
Yesterday, I made progress on my next video by recording the audio and adding the images. I’m not entirely happy with the audio, though; it dropped out in a few spots early on, likely because of how I set the noise filter. I might re-record it today, or I might just let it be. I want to create quality content, but letting go of perfectionism is often the only way I can create anything at all. It’s a hard balance to find.
In the afternoon, I spent a lot of time reading and did a DIY version of a vibroacoustic bed at home. I used a vibrating pad and binaural beats; they weren't synced the way a professional sound bed would be, but it was still deeply relaxing and meditative. (I incorporate meditation and self-hypnosis to all of these sessions.) I also watched Resident Alien. The end of season two is an improvement, but I’ve heard the final two seasons are very short. It’s a shame it didn't maintain the same excellent blend of comedy and characterization of the first season, but oh well.
So far today, I’ve finished my morning routine, done some gentle yoga, and taken out the trash. I tidied the kitchen a little, too. I still need to vacuum upstairs, but I’ll save that for later in the morning so I'm not being a terrible neighbor.
It’s a rainy day, so I’m tempted to just read all morning, but I think I’ll compromise by working on my video from the comfort of my bed.
First Monday of Winter Break
Dec. 22nd, 2025 08:43 amMan, the last few days I’ve felt like I haven't done much... but looking back, I really did quite a bit! I bought cruise cabin birthday decorations and first aid items at Dollar Tree yesterday morning, dropped off recycling, and had a lovely vibroacoustic bed session (even though the headphones were a little more staticky the last few times; I should really mention that to the spa). I’ve also been reading, exercising, and cleaning. And today, after already completing another round of chores and exercise this morning, I’m finally sitting down to work on my YouTube channel. (Selectively Frugal)
I struggle with feeling like I’m falling behind if I take a few days off, but the reality is that my goal is two videos a month, and I’m on track to hit four. I just need to stop being so hard on myself...
I recently signed up for a "holistic financial coach" certification on Udemy. It was only $20 and it's an accredited program. I’m a little skeptical so far because it’s mostly focused on active listening - though I believe the Dave Ramsey coach program is similar, from the quick peek I took at that site - but I would like to have any kind of credential before my channel moves further into the "financial advice" realm. And if it is mostly active listening, I have a head start on that with a ton of training from years as a 7 Cups listener.
Long-term, I’d like to monetize the channel beyond just ad revenue (and obviously even that isn't guaranteed). However, I’ve tried the blog monetization route before, and the sponsor/affiliate marketing world just isn't for me. It also doesn't feel authentic to me, and authenticity is a big part of the financial journey I'm sharing. I could, however, see myself doing financial coaching once I’ve fully gotten my own affairs in order and built a solid reputation.
Money and business thoughts often create a massive creative block for me, which has definitely impacted my workflow lately. While the certification is a good step, I have to be careful not to get lost in idealistic daydreams about the future. I need to focus on the reality of the process right now: create this video; complete this lesson.
It’s only 9 a.m., so even if I spend the whole morning on the video and a few lessons, I still have a free afternoon ahead of me. I’m looking forward to starting my traditional Harry Potter marathon and getting back into A Drop of Corruption. I spent hours reading yesterday, and it was such a good feeling compared to the 15-30 minutes I usually manage for reading daily.
I forgot to post this. Back dated!
Dec. 18th, 2025 07:59 amThe pre-winter break "Teacher Fatigue" is so real right now.
Since last week, I’ve been battling this low-key "ick": a little bit of congestion, a general sense of being "crummy," and lingering exhaustion. Since I've been doing really well with routines, I might have tried to power through it, but right now, I’m trying to balance my energy as I balance my budget.
Yesterday, I planned to hit my home strength barbell routine. I finished the warm-up, but my body gave me a very clear NO, but I did pick up the barbell for a few squats before I listened- since the NO didn't stop.
Instead of giving up on everything and just playing my games in bed, I ran a load of laundry and spent five minutes on the dishes. These were small tasks, but they kept the house functioning without draining my battery.
After that, I prioritized a scarf I’ve been knitting. I had a goal to give a bunch of these away to my colleagues today, and I didn't want to push that to the last day before break. So, I gave myself permission to spend the afternoon and early evening in "recovery mode" - just me, my knitting needles, and the TV. (My colleagues were delighted with the gifts. :) )
I woke up this morning still feeling exhausted and a bit congested, but I made it to work. I do believe that if I had pushed through my workout and routine yesterday, I would be home in bed today. With the break just a couple of days away, I really don't want to get sick; so I'm feeling good about my choices to change things up.
Now I'm in my bolstered bed nest to blog and work on my YouTube scripts. I'm dead tired, so I will get up in a bit to shower so I don't fall asleep too early.
One more day!
Travel Plans
Dec. 11th, 2025 04:36 pm It occurred to me a few days ago that my aunt will probably be traveling with a cane, and when I looked up whether that could be a problem (it's not), I realized that a wheelchair might be a necessity at the transfer airport. Charlotte is a big airport (compared to the one we depart from): not L.A. big, but the gates can be pretty far from each other.
There’s no reason not to request a wheelchair or at least a shuttle between gates, since it’s free and would drastically reduce the stress and physical exhaustion on our travel day. We are arriving the day before the cruise and staying at a hotel, so I’m hoping Jacksonville airport will be easy enough to navigate to get a rideshare to the hotel. That won’t be a rush, but you never know with connecting flights. (Even with a 2-hour layover both ways, there’s no telling.)
I would call now, but I do feel like I should talk to Aunt K first. She’s a capable adult and I know in her shoes I wouldn’t want people to assume things about my disability. So I’ll chat with her tonight and see what she thinks, and then maybe call Delta (departure) and American (return) tomorrow after work.
There’s no reason not to request a wheelchair or at least a shuttle between gates, since it’s free and would drastically reduce the stress and physical exhaustion on our travel day. We are arriving the day before the cruise and staying at a hotel, so I’m hoping Jacksonville airport will be easy enough to navigate to get a rideshare to the hotel. That won’t be a rush, but you never know with connecting flights. (Even with a 2-hour layover both ways, there’s no telling.)
I would call now, but I do feel like I should talk to Aunt K first. She’s a capable adult and I know in her shoes I wouldn’t want people to assume things about my disability. So I’ll chat with her tonight and see what she thinks, and then maybe call Delta (departure) and American (return) tomorrow after work.
Snow Day 2
Dec. 8th, 2025 03:14 pmIt was another snow day today, and I took another long nap. It feels so good; I could get used to this.
I like getting up early and getting a lot done: morning routine, cleaning, work on YouTube channel, read, exercise, knit. So even if I nap half the afternoon away, I don't feel like it's wasted time. I feel like this is how my life might shape up if I can ever retire.
I finished The Tainted Cup today, and loved it. I'm tempted to jump into the next one in the series, but I think it might be one I save for cruise reading. So I'm starting Onyx Storm. I told a friend that I probably wouldn't continue the series, except for the dragons. The Fourth Wing dragons, so far, do not disappoint!
I'm still watching Resident Alien, though I'm not enjoying the second season as much as the first.
I like getting up early and getting a lot done: morning routine, cleaning, work on YouTube channel, read, exercise, knit. So even if I nap half the afternoon away, I don't feel like it's wasted time. I feel like this is how my life might shape up if I can ever retire.
I finished The Tainted Cup today, and loved it. I'm tempted to jump into the next one in the series, but I think it might be one I save for cruise reading. So I'm starting Onyx Storm. I told a friend that I probably wouldn't continue the series, except for the dragons. The Fourth Wing dragons, so far, do not disappoint!
I'm still watching Resident Alien, though I'm not enjoying the second season as much as the first.
It's 3:38,and I've been trying to wake up after a nap. I hadn't taken naps in a long while until Friday, and now I've had three days in a row of long naps.
It's been fine, since I've been waking up early, being pretty busy all morning, and then napping in the afternoon. It is hard to get up again, though, or even to think of reasons why I should. I'm very drowsy and not really motivated to do anything else... I guess I'll start with a shower and see if that helps.
ETA : an hour later and I opted for listening to the Once We Were Spacemen podcast with my eyes closed.... And opened for a few minutes while I played killer sudoku. I'm not feeling more awake yet...
It's been fine, since I've been waking up early, being pretty busy all morning, and then napping in the afternoon. It is hard to get up again, though, or even to think of reasons why I should. I'm very drowsy and not really motivated to do anything else... I guess I'll start with a shower and see if that helps.
ETA : an hour later and I opted for listening to the Once We Were Spacemen podcast with my eyes closed.... And opened for a few minutes while I played killer sudoku. I'm not feeling more awake yet...
Kids, man.
Dec. 1st, 2025 04:21 pmOkay, calmed down a bit after the rant - and worked out, really such an annoyingly good stress relief, even if my attempt was half-hearted today.
At work a 6th grader asked, "Do we have school tomorrow?"
"Yes, of course." She stared at me. "There's a half day between now and winter break, but there are three weeks until -"
"It's going to snow so much tomorrow!"
"No, it's really not. We will get a little tiny wintry mix before it rains all day."
"It's going to snow all day!" About this time, I realized she must be getting her news from social media or national news, not from local reports.
"It's going to snow far west of (our metro area)."
"We're in (names the school district)."
"No, I mean, the mountains and the midwest, nowhere near here."
She seemed betrayed by these facts. Girl, trust. If there was going to be snow tomorrow, I'd be very excited, too. But by 11, I knew how to read weather maps and the difference between the mountains and central Virginia.
At work a 6th grader asked, "Do we have school tomorrow?"
"Yes, of course." She stared at me. "There's a half day between now and winter break, but there are three weeks until -"
"It's going to snow so much tomorrow!"
"No, it's really not. We will get a little tiny wintry mix before it rains all day."
"It's going to snow all day!" About this time, I realized she must be getting her news from social media or national news, not from local reports.
"It's going to snow far west of (our metro area)."
"We're in (names the school district)."
"No, I mean, the mountains and the midwest, nowhere near here."
She seemed betrayed by these facts. Girl, trust. If there was going to be snow tomorrow, I'd be very excited, too. But by 11, I knew how to read weather maps and the difference between the mountains and central Virginia.
