She turns like the ocean, she tells no emotion

In the beginning, there were words. A great many words. Eventually, I learned how to share some of them with the world - and since May 24th 2004, I have been doing that right here. In the course of doing so, I have discovered rather more about myself than I expected - though, of course, my trademark tendency not to give much away has prevailed.

So who am I? I am the line where dichotomies blur. I am an idealist, and I am a pragmatist. I am a dreamer, and I am a realist. I am fire, and I am water. I yearn for the underground, and yet long to fly. I am also remarkably floral at times, but most people learn to cope with that. When not being floral, I write - both fanfiction and original works. My username, Alinak, was chosen simply because she is the greatest influence on my writing life - a character I created when I was much younger, who has grown up with me, her story developing over time into something immensely close to my heart. But where once she stood alone, now there are others. So many others. In the course of this journal, I hope to reveal a little bit about them, and maybe a little more about me, too.

Just a little, of course. I'm still a Scorpio, after all...

"Find joy in every moment." [My Personal Motto]

What else is there to tell? I'm British, female, a 2006 graduate of Durham University, where I studied Politics (with a little Ethics on the side.) My undergraduate career involved rather too much time spent writing fanfic instead of reading about Machiavelli - who I am convinced was a proto-Sith - until I discovered that if I take my laptop to cafes, I can write essays and fanfic, and drink coffee! I have a worrying love of swords, fire, and explosives, though can assure you that I am usually fairly safe. Usually. Fairly. These would be the operative words! I also happen to be somewhat obsessed with my car, known for a variety of reasons as the Yarisjumper. Driving makes me Happy, and therefore I do it a lot. Especially in the direction of Sherburn and Seaham.

As you will soon notice, my life revolves around a number of fandoms, and at the centre of them all is the beloved 24 - which I am quite frighteningly obsessed with. Seriously. There are charts. Graphs. And a new episode quite literally means the world gets put on hold. But many other fandoms matter a great deal to me too, and you can go here to view the current list of these, as well as my favourite pairings - both het and slash.

"There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it." [Lord Voldemort - HP1]

A fabulous quote, in my opinion - and one that might explain a thing or two about the characters I gravitate towards. My mind is full of voices, or muses as some call them - a mixture of fandom characters and original characters from my own works. The ones you're most likely to run into - my primary fandom muses - are:

Acastus Kolya - from Stargate: Atlantis, is the muse around whom my life currently revolves. A loyal Genii commander, with a love of duelling and a talent for interrogation, he is perhaps the most vocal and most fascinating fandom muse I have ever had. Though it took a while for him to open up to me - and a whole year before we were on first-name terms! - we now get on very well and I tend to talk about him a lot. One morning, early on, I woke up to discover that he'd moved an entire squad into my head for backup, but thankfully most of them don't talk to me, and those that do are fairly quiet. Never without his knife, and rarely without other forms of weaponry as well, writing him has done some surprising things to my worldview.

Darth Revan - from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, is a power-mad Sith with a serious case of Dark Side addiction. Her life has been somewhat awkward since the day she killed her former apprentice and former lover, Darth Malak, though she has - through several online RPs - gone on to make life difficult for a number of people. She currently spends much of her time complaining that I don't write her enough fic.

Tony Almeida - from the beloved 24, is noteworthy as my only true 'good' primary muse. He's less talkative than the other three, though when he has something to say, I'll always know about it. A little reclusive and deeply emotional, he is devoted to his wife, Michelle, and looks far too good running around in kevlar with guns...

Methos - from Highlander, moved into my head without permission and demanded to know where the beer was. He makes my life deeply awkward by changing his moral standpoint on a regular basis, and spending rather too long talking about knives and chains. He also has a worrying tendency to 'get out' when I've been in contact with alcohol, at which point he says things that I invariably regret.

In my online fandom life, I go by the pen-name shadow_side - and if you're interested in my fics but don't want to have a friends page full of me declaring 'OMG 24!' or 'OMG WEAPONRY!' you may want to friend that journal instead. And if you do want to listen to my ramblings, go ahead and friend me - but do say hi somewhere!

The fanfics I write - wherever else they end up - will always be logged in my LJ memories, and my website archive, for those who want to read them. All come with ratings and content warnings, and comments remain very welcome!

Of course, I also have a slight icon obsession... and since discovering the wonders of the Photoshop Brush, things can only get worse better. This is the credit list for brushes that I currently have.

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both...
...I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference." [Robert Frost]

I have identified with this lovely poem since first I heard it. Because, believe me, taking the less-travelled road is damn good fun. You get not only to embrace the things you love the most, but to understand why you love them so. You get to own wooden katanas and have actual swordfights with them. You get to learn that it is quite enjoyable to imbibe alcohol on occasions. You discover a worrying tendency to do a lot of things you said you never would. You meet people who you can take the less-travelled road with. And it does make all the difference.

Currently, I live with my housemate and closest friend, davechicken, in a house known as the House of Crack - which is not a reference to any drug except Fandom, the greatest drug of all, and one that helpfully happens to be legal. davechicken and I also happen to exist as the Gestalt, a.k.a. penumbris. Fear us and our mind-reading, knife-loving, fire-starting, sentence-finishing, plot-of-doom!

As of June 16th 2007, we also have a tortoise called Meredith. He is the cutest thing EVER! You can check out my collection of photos of him here.

So. What more can be said about me? I love to write, things of all lengths and ratings. I have an insane kink for interrogation and tend to evaluate it a lot whenever it pops up in my fandoms. My favourite method of stress-relief is driving to the coast to stare at the sea. I collect swords and dream of one day having a house with a big enough wall to display them on. I talk frequently about my muses and have a tendency to express my thoughts through 'Notes To.'

I love ice-blended coffee. Good cheese. Red wine. I place great importance on the concept of loyalty and think 1am is the best time to be conscious. Helicopters make me stop and stare. I am religious and take great comfort in my beliefs, though I'll never rub them in your face. I am fascinated by numbers but am no mathematician, and I love both politics and ethics far more in their theories than in their practices. Human emotions interest me greatly, and when I write, I tend to think in voice-tones, expressions, and capital letters.

The most beautiful thing I have ever seen is Saturn and pictures of the Hubble Deep Field make me shiver. I can string together seemingly unconnected remarks and hope that they make sense, but I'll likely never tell you everything.

I have had five moments of perfect clarity in my life. When the sixth comes, I'll know.

"If knowledge is power then to be unknown is to be unconquerable." [Opening to the Romulan Campaign, Star Trek: Birth of the Federation]

Oddly enough, for a person who never gives much away... I talk a lot.

Dislikes:

33: allergies, apostrophe abuse, bad drivers, bad fanfiction, bad grammar, bad spelling, biased film critics, closed-mindedness, excessive heat, having too much work, homophobia, hot summers, inconsideracy, insects, internet explorer, mornings, not having space for more icons, our wireless router, people who leave their phones on in the cinema, people who talk in the cinema, petrol prices, racism, reality television, religious intolerance, sexism, smoking, spiders, the bastards who cancelled angel, the bastards who cancelled enterprise, the bastards who cancelled firefly, the newcastle one-way system, the tory party, unnecessary ineptitude