Purgings

...inspired by the perfect fallibility between lovers and the preciousness of that realization.





Thy heart froze locked in a muted despair;
Made weary, fractioned from past loves untrue.
O'er years of duties done with faithful care
brought bounties, but left roots that figured few.
Mine own love spent ‘til dim the flame in me.
What passion is there when the want recedes?
Thus I, convinced of love's futility,
would live vicarious though labored deeds.
Yet, broken parts can fit together so
create quite unintended brilliance and
the imperfections from our previous woe
our coupling borne from nostalgia does sand.
And we, beloved, fallible and flawed
have come together, consummate and thawed.

-Angela Shaffer

Today, I painted with acrylics for the first time in twenty years. I painted our little corner of the cosmos, the solar system, and the entire time I painted, I thought about the world today and what we know about it, the inhabitants of it and the stream of time.

My life is a single breath in the body of existence. Life is fleeting and short, but I do not think that makes it meaningless. I do not have belief in a supernatural higher-power, but I do find myself humbled by the universe. Despite our limitations, our species today has the mental capacity and physical capability to explore the macrocosm and the microcosm. Our consciousness is so raised that we even contemplate what consciousness actually is. I have instant access to a wealth of knowledge that far rivals the libraries of Ninevah and Alexandria. I live in a culture where my mate and my friends are my choice. Despite the problems of the world, this time in the entirety of Earth's existence is the safest and most enlightened.

The painting didn't turn out spectacular, but it turned out better than I thought it would. Even if the painting looked nothing like what I envisioned, just the experience of painting again was rewarding. The next painting will be better, as will the one after and so on. I captured this attitude and thought about how using it as a philosophy for living would make every experience more precious. The moment didn't turn out spectacular, but it turned out better than it potentially could have. Even thought the moment was nothing like I expected, just the opportunity to be alive for the experience was rewarding. The next moment will be better, as will the one after and so on.