welcome to hell

the famous "nonthreatening feminist boy" photograph from 2013 was made entirely practically. The "mirror" effect, which would now be trivial to produce in any photo editor, was achieved by filling the room face-deep with mercury and shackling him to the floor so he didn't float to the surface

reddit's userbase is like if 4chan users were forced to undergo mandatory HR training but still hold the same worldview

tumblrs userbase is like...these people but with an inescapable guilty conscience that shines through every now and then when no one asked

let's boil uncle in water to reduce his essence into a tincture

i’m going to start a fashion line called FAKEGEEK and its sole purpose will be to produce tshirts that will piss off nerds

Messing up my customer service hotline job and playing a gunshot sound effect over the phone then coming back with a slightly different accent

the self is a guy you made up to get mad at

me as i'm dying: WAIT WAIT how unforgivable was i how many things did i ruin with my heinous and messy humanity will i ever be absolved will i ever be absolved!!!!

the disembodied voice that is probably just the embers of my own consciousness flickering out but could be perceived by some as "GOD": what did you think of all the different types of leaves i made. i worked kinda hard on those and i'm looking for some honest feedback

but babe you love being chained to the radiator

if youre feeling anxious during sex just imagine the other person is naked

do you motherfuckers not want to sleep ever again

It's all fun and games until the cat yaks under there at 3:00am and you have to commando crawl in there with a pack of Chlorox wipes like fucking Theseus going to slay the minotaur

yo i made rhis into a sweater

Mistook the couch as your palm and thought this was the tiniest sweater in the world

I might be a little biased but I’m honestly starting to believe that there’s no purer form of love than the defensive spite you see from biologists that have devoted their life to the study of a maligned or misunderstood species. For example:

The hyena biologist that arranged for Disney animators to come sketch captive  hyenas for The Lion King film (Laurence Frank) was so incensed when the animals were depicted as villains in the movie that he later included boycotting the film on a list of ways the average person could help hyena conservation.

Though it’s commonly known that Charles Darwin’s distaste for parasitic wasps played a role in his development of evolution theory (since he felt no loving God would create animals with such a disturbing life cycle), the biologists who study these wasps find it an unfair characterization. When they were tasked with coming up with a common name for the family of parasitic wasps (Ichneumonidae) that old Charles so disliked, they proposed the name “Darwin Wasps” to spite the famous naturalist who had insulted their beloved family of insects.

Parasitologist Tommy Leung was so frustrated with the way people write about parasites to evoke horror and gore that he started writing a Parasite of the Day blog, that specifically avoids inflammatory or unsettling language to describe them. He also illustrates different species in colorful anime art on Twitter in a series called Parasite Monster Girls—which he calls his “love letter to parasites.”

I guess I’m just saying that if you’re a biologist studying an unpopular species and you have a little bit of a chip on your shoulder about it you can always count on me to be in your corner if you want to get a little petty with the public!

(ID: tags that read “when does a monster stop being a monster? when you love it”)

the humble peppered cory........

evil proship sigmund freud, you can't say that!

*driving in my smart car* Google glass, show me the nearest e-cig shop! *beeping sound* ugh no! Only show ones that accept Bitcoin!

this was considered an outlandish joke in 2014

[Getting so angry it makes my brain disease worse] people sre supposed to be nice..