i'm two days into being a high school graduate. weird stuff man.
i was in the stands, sitting next to gary. and i was thinking of how weird of an experience it was for me. i mean, i actually thought the day would never happen. and i was shocked time didn't stop for me. it sounds ridiculous, i know. but it's not something i ever put too much thought into. i always knew i would graduate. but it was just something that was sitting in the future.
and it was definately weird when cassie and sara came up to me. because last year it was the exact opposite. i even have a picture of them together.
[c/o 2005] sara and cassie
oh well. so life goes. i turn 18 exactly two weeks from today. which means i'm 2 weeks from a promotion. exciting stuff.
graduation is in 4 days. this is the end. this is the beginning.
everyone says we'll be friends forever, but i know for a fact i won't keep in contact with anyone. i am very ready to move onto this next section of my life. i'll start with a new age of being legal, a promotion at work, a new school and new friends. of course things will stay the same here and there... but most everything will change.
and i finally feel i'm ready.
i have the stomach butterflies, and i keep tricking myself into thinking i'm not ready at all.... but this is the same feeling i get on roller coasters, and once i'm settled in, i know i'll do fine.
let me tell you about that box in the corner of the room that lights up in colors of red green and blue laughs and screams captured in the womb waiting to get out at all the most unexpected times how can a box that feeds off the wall be bi-polar? maybe because it's brain feeds off a remote controller
i watched the sunset just last night with it's creepy glow the deep contrast of purple and orange share the will to fight over which one is more right purple always wins
there is a horse that lives next door that has stripes of black and white i always wonder if the other horses laugh at him and if he's on the brim of a new lifestyle of if this is the preliminary trial
velveeta cheese is the nastiest food ever created but i see people buy it everyday which makes no sense because why would you eat a food that could last for an unstated amount of time and never turn gray?
what is the point of a spork to be the donkey of eating utensils no more reproduction and no chance of a utensil stork and good luck eating all that food that just came off the grill
put your ear next to the speaker and listen to the noise coming out of the hole and you see everyone dancing like they just got off parole or was just given the gift of birth control where is this sound coming from? it's going to succumb my last hopes of a train of thought
although, the bigger question might be do things that make sense actually make sense? things we do, hear and see? we might just have a mental fence preventing us from looking over the other side something we might never find out on this roller coaster life ride
press enter stop typing stop watching start listening and observe
so sickWith this: your face! jamiesavdtheday: gangsta gangsta! so sickWith this: thats how i roll! jamiesavdtheday: haha jamiesavdtheday: whats up so sickWith this: the sky jamiesavdtheday: thanks for informing me. i was almost worried so sickWith this: guess what jamiesavdtheday: what so sickWith this: ur face! jamiesavdtheday: your mom.. so sickWith this: your MOM! jamiesavdtheday: no, yours! so sickWith this: your cousin! jamiesavdtheday: yeah thats you!! jamiesavdtheday: heyy did you ask that girl out yet? so sickWith this: i will tonight when she calls me back so sickWith this: iv been talking though jamiesavdtheday: wheee so sickWith this: and i told her how i fel in a myspace message jamiesavdtheday: LOL so sickWith this: yup! so sickWith this: thats whats up jamiesavdtheday: were you drunk? so sickWith this: when i wrote the message jamiesavdtheday: oiyy jamiesavdtheday: lol so sickWith this: i did to get the courage jamiesavdtheday: thats good, i guess.. so sickWith this: haha yeahy so sickWith this: sup cousin? jamiesavdtheday: chillllin jamiesavdtheday: got home from work bout an hour ago so sickWith this: how was work? jamiesavdtheday: kinda boring jamiesavdtheday: well jamiesavdtheday: it was okay so sickWith this: guess what jamiesavdtheday: your face? so sickWith this: no no no! jamiesavdtheday: what so sickWith this: Your dogs face! jamiesavdtheday: hahaha jamiesavdtheday: are you drunk now? jamiesavdtheday: lol so sickWith this: nah so sickWith this: not yet jamiesavdtheday: =) so sickWith this: dude jamiesavdtheday: dude so sickWith this: sweet jamiesavdtheday: dude!! so sickWith this: sweet jamiesavdtheday: haha so sickWith this: this girl better like me jamiesavdtheday: i agree jamiesavdtheday: you need a girl so sickWith this: yes i do jamiesavdtheday: so that way you don't go drunk dog walking everynight so sickWith this: haha i dont do that everynight so sickWith this: u dont like when i make drunk calls? jamiesavdtheday: no no, i love it jamiesavdtheday: its hilarious jamiesavdtheday: im just saying jamiesavdtheday: lol so sickWith this: whatever so sickWith this: i just need a companion jamiesavdtheday: me too so sickWith this: aww so sickWith this: me too! jamiesavdtheday: wow really?? me too! jamiesavdtheday: we're retarded so sickWith this: its because were related jamiesavdtheday: yeeeup so sickWith this: sadly but true jamiesavdtheday: all our ancestors are spinning in their graves right now so sickWith this: why? so sickWith this: i make them proud jamiesavdtheday: because we're dumb so sickWith this: hahaha so sickWith this: nah, they were all hella cool so sickWith this: like my grandpa so sickWith this: he partied all the time so sickWith this: im following in his foot steps jamiesavdtheday: =) so sickWith this: except the player part jamiesavdtheday: awwww jamiesavdtheday: hahaha
we're in the computer lab right now for palshaw's class listening to music to write a reveiw for a cd we haven't listened to yet.
i'm listening to ben folds, and this music is very sleepy music. but maybe that's because i didn't get much sleep last night. i don't think i'm ever going to catch up on my sleep, 7 hours, and i couldn't wake up this morning for the life of myself. but thats what i deserve for sleeping 3-4 hours max for the last 3-4 weeks or so. karma... bachiiii. which means i could probably listen to somehting like the beach boys and think it's sleepy music.
i'm going to santa cruz today after 3rd period. going to go see sara and all her santa cruz-ness. i have my camera this time, so i'm excited. and i already know i'm not parking, so i can't get a ticket. i hope.
i got a bad feeling about something after reading my horoscope last night. i hope it's wrong, because it kind of feels wrong, but i'm not sure. oh well. au revoir, mes amies. i'll write again tonight. or tomorrow.
today was pretty stupid. i'm not exactly sure how to explain. i think i'm just a little overly emotional right now. 1, being on my period and 2, other reasons i shouldn't talk about here that started in disneyland.
i was kind of freaking out about the fact it's 6.6.06. but that's just what i do, and i'm a little goofy as far as stuff like that goes. full moons and all.
i don't know. i'm a little stoned rightnow, and things are starting to unfog kind of... but not enough for things to make complete sense yet.
i had lunch with ben today. we had a picnic at the beach, and that was a lot of fun. i like spending time with him. he's a pretty cool guy. no doubt about it.
then went to work today, worked with liana and that was fun because i love her. it was crazy customer night today. that kind of sucked, i don't think we saw a single normal, calm person. everyone was creepy, on drugs or creepy. lol. and it started to get slow at 6:00. weird, especially since it's only slow after 8:30 recently.
today was supposed to be apocalypse. someone messed up somewhere.
i think i should write here more often. so since i have little time right now, i'm just going to copy/paste a poem i wrote a while ago...
love this time of night when i hear the busy taps of moths thirsty for light the dogs are passed out on the kitchen floor and nobodys rapidly knocking at the door my nighttime companion is sleeping on the bed arms and legs sprawled around like a peanut butter spread lying peacfully in the limbs of dark so calm that you can hear the spark of the electricity flowing through the walls and you think it's the sound of niagara falls so busy and loud and fast and sublime that each drip drop of the water is a prime time for action and the buzz of the bees and the smell of the pollen makes you want to sneeze but no you can't it'll break the stream of the quiet that makes you want to scream and the steam lets off a beam of passion thought and eternity that makes you think that this serenity isn't actually as quiet as it may appear and the idea catches me it freezes me i'm stuck like a deer in the headlight of an uncoming car hitting me and leaving such a terrible scar that i'll remember for the rest of my life and i tell everybody it was the time that i grabbed the knife and slashed my right arm because my dreams needed to use something as an alarm to wake me up and bring me back and stand me up so i'm right on track so i won't disapoint you and turn myself blue over things that don't actually matter to me like pop culture and a color tv quick turn the switch there seems to have been a glitch this world i'm spinning in is completely surreal so i don't know what i actually feel and i lie down on the bed right next to the peanut butter spread and everything makes more sense when i am with my other half the way it makes sense that a boy giraffe would mate a girl giraffe or does it as long as its love and nothing will split i am the jelly of our relationship and that crazy butter sends me on a pleasure trip every single time we copulate repopulate and depopulate now i understand how the world works and why the grocery clerks eat peanut butter and jelly
jamiesavdtheday: i've decided i miss you a lot. hellratcsr: i miss you too
and that's the truth.
i can't freakin wait until he comes back from israel. i will be SO happy, there are almost no words to describe. i think since we've been through so much shit together (while not at the same time), it just makes him that teensy more special to me. (was that even grammatically correct?)
obviously, he would be the only man i would ever marry. but since that wouldn't work in like, 5 different ways, he'll be the godfather for my kids.
okay
creative
happy