Strobelights and blown speakers.

I don't know what to say, other than I love you.

Against all better judgement, I plan on getting absolutely hammered this weekend.

Thanks for reading!

Some quick thoughts on Lollapalooza before I pass out:

Radiohead should have been better, but the sheer volume of people there deterred from the experience. This is a real shame, since I like Radiohead. This show just wasn't very engaging.

Rage Against the Machine were great, if only for Tom Morello's ridiculous guitar playing. The band as a symbol seemed more important than the music they were playing, but that is not meant in a negative way. It did draw the most intensely violent crowd of any show at the festival, and I can only imagine the brutality of staying in the front row throughout the entire day. Numerous people were carried out of the crowd, bruised and exhausted.

Nine Inch Nails were amazing, of course. The light show was truly incredible, and Trent's voice problems were barely noticed. Of course, some of the audience were there because they only know songs like "Wish," "Closer," and "Gave Up." These are amazing songs, of course, but it was very easy to distinguish the fans of Trent's first few albums versus those who have been paying attention to his career lately. Yet, I will forever remember the light setup for "Only." Spectacular work.

On non-headliners:

Black Lips were insane. Again, I would prefer to see them in a smaller environment, since there weren't a lot of people willing to rock out. Even the band seemed restrained from the crazy antics that I've read about, and I'm trying to figure out the reasoning: festival setting, them not being drunk enough, or maybe they're just toning themselves down? It's hard to tell!

Louis XIV were unexpectedly great. Despite not knowing much of their music, I was still able to have fun. Amanda commented to me that she prefers them in a live setting over their studio work, which is not unreasonable. To me they had the presence of a seasoned set of performers, bringing the original music to a new level.

Gogol Bordello were amazingly fun and energetic. Exactly how you would picture their live shows in the best way possible.

Part two is coming soon.

I met a girl in the information common the other day. We were waiting in line to use computers, and she pointed over to the other side of the room and said something. I didn't hear her because I was wearing earphones, so I took them out and looked at her for a bit. She repeated herself and asked me if "that person just left a computer over there." The person was only printing, so I told her that. Then she smiled at me and I saw that as my chance.

"Do you want to use a computer together?"
"What?"
"We can use one together if you want."
"Oh no that's OK I'm just meeting someone."

After that she turned back around, stood still for another 30 seconds or so, and then walked out of the information common. Nice fucking excuse bitch. Why didn't you just tell me you had an appointment at the circus or something.

So I came to realize that I don't post so much anymore because of a lack of confidence in my own writing voice.

Well fuck that.

Here's to not giving a shit.

Also: Probabilistic calculations of Cribbage hands last night gave me a new love for my studies.

This will probably sound weird, but I often enjoy getting ridiculously stoned and listening to music. Just by myself, in headphones, in a dark room. Sometimes sharing the ideas behind the relationship I build with the music becomes too personal, and makes me feel uncomfortable.

This is my absolutely ordinary life. But here I am to present it to you in some way that will seem interesting. In my presentation, I hope that you will become my LJ friend, and if you already are, then I hope that you will find it interesting!

It would be impossible to give an update here of all the recent events of my life. My parents are currently out of town, my brother has gone somewhere random, so I'm in Westminster now giving my poor old dog some companionship.

There is a strange lack of substance in my life right now. That is to say, I feel as if I'm not doing anything productive with my time anymore. Yes, I'm a full time student. Yes, I'm working two jobs. But somehow I've fallen into this rut where I feel like I should be appropriating my time towards something more substantial. The future is a frightening concept, where I feel I will eventually become subjugated into the typical American dream, and not have anything to show for it. I guess my ultimate goal would be to influence somebody in some meaningful way, and I'm suddenly having trouble conceptualizing this as a possibility.

DEAR ABBY: I have been faithfully married for more than 20 years. My wife and I are known as the "cute couple" who still hold hands in public, take time to play together, and never say a negative word about each other in public.

My son, who has just turned 19, wants to marry somebody "just like Mom," whom he views as the world's greatest wife and mother. He's making good on this and has begun getting serious with a young woman who is much like his mother in many crucial ways.

At this point, how do I tell my son that the biggest mistake of my life was marrying his mother, and his future happiness depends on getting away from this girl before it's too late? The girl he is dating shows the same severe anxiety disorders as my wife, and manipulates him through learned helplessness and (presumably) the same psychosomatic chronic illnesses. She displays the severe mood swings that have made my wife completely ineffectual as a mother and companion.

My wife's disorders completely dominate our lives, as she refuses any therapy. I have had no choice but to surrender and make do, abandoning a wonderful career -- Ph.D. from a top business school, lots of international travel and high ambitions -- to live in squalor and relative poverty, hating my life and longing for the freedom that will come from one or the other of us passing on.

I have done a good job of hiding my agony from my wife and children, accepting that which I cannot change, and I have been careful to be as supportive as possible and never undercut her position in her eyes or the kids'. My son shows the same potential that I once had. How do I help him not ruin his life as I have ruined mine? -- MISERABLE IN THE NORTHEAST

I decided to follow my usual ritual of smoking a cigarette while on break. A few hours of snowfall left my car blanketed in white, with the windows obscured to the point where one could not see inside.

I carefully opened the door, carefully enough not to disrupt the covered windows, and sat inside. While inside the car, I couldn't see the outside through its windows. Carefully I closed the door, lit up a cigarette, and enjoyed 15 minutes of being unseen from the world.

It was nice.