aquatic dream

(no subject)

this may be the last entry i have in here for a while. i'm not so interested in lj these days, especially considering the name absolutecynic no longer applies to me and hasn't in a long time. regardless, i wanted to remember this.

i got a tarot reading, and these two cards in particular stuck out to me. so i wanted to be able to look back on them when i'm not certain.



Embrace the hidden aspects of yourself. Express your passionate nature.

The card in the Higher Power position reflects the broader perspective and influence of your conscience, Guardian Angel, inner wisdom.

The Devil card in this position advises you to be as authentically whole as possible. Explore what you truly feel, what your real needs are, what you can't live with any longer. Expressing these hidden aspects of you may shock and upset some people, but it is much healthier than continually holding yourself in or confining yourself to limited territory.

Your instinctive energy is searching for a way to express itself. If you can unravel the inner knots that are holding you back, you will be better able to enjoy the pleasures of life and charismatically fulfill your destiny. Your Higher Power wants you to shed your bindings and return to your natural state. Remove the camouflage and the armor of denial. Allow your true nature to reveal and express itself, with a sense of humor.



Blocks & Inhibitions: Two of Cups

Your feelings for another may exist to attune you to your own longings and needs.

The card in the Blocks position points to self-undermining tendencies, areas where you could be in denial, where you could get stuck -- unless you examine yourself and make some corrections.

When the Two of Cups is in this position, the relationship doesn't have to go anywhere for you to benefit. Even if it just allows you to work it through your imagination, your artistic life, or your dreams, it's a good thing. Take a dispassionate view of the object of your affection. Regard this person as a symbol of your unfulfilled desires.

Sometimes a person comes into your life not so you can possess them, but to stimulate exquisite feelings that better acquaint you with your heart's desires. Just let the very awareness of love be like a tuning fork for your soul. These are healing feelings. Unrequited love is not a horrible thing. In fact, its effect can enrich other current and new relationships in your life. Don't cheapen such feelings or compromise your dignity by trying to possess an unavailable or unworthy person who evoked these emotions. You are bigger than that. Let go of the romantic fantasy; your feelings may be here only to bring you closer to your true desires.
  • Current Music
    esthero - if tha mood
aquatic dream

(no subject)

i love this song. i hadn't actually heard it until recently (bad amy winehouse fan, i know), but i play it a lot now.

when will we get the time to be just friends?

it's never safe for us
not even in the evening
'cos i've been drinking
not in the morning
when your shit works
it's always dangerous
when everybody's sleeping
and i've been thinking
can we be alone?
can we be alone?

when will we get the time to be just friends?
when will we get the time to be just friends?

and no i'm not ashamed
but the guilt will kill you
if she don't first
i'll never love you like her
though we need to find the time
to just do this shit together
'fore it gets worse
i wanna touch you
but that just hurts

when will we get the time to be just just friends
when will we get the time to be just friends, just friends
when will we get the time to be just friends, just friends
when will we get the time to be just friends, just friends
just friends


amy always knows how to say it.
  • Current Music
    amy winehouse - just friends
aquatic dream

(no subject)

i seriously wish i had someone i could just call up whenever i feel like it, and be like "hey, come fuck me". no weirdness, no strings.. just ass whenever i want it.

SIGH.

i'm gonna move. i don't know where yet, but i'm getting the fuck out asap.
aquatic dream

(no subject)

well i am officially a member of curves again, as of yesterday. they did all my weighs and measures and that was a bit concerning, but i'm there to fix it so it's okay i guess. i'm ready to be fit and healthy again. i've been drinking lots of water, changing my diet a bit, etc. so hopefully soon i'll start seeing some results. :)

i'm also in the midst of setting up an art show for next month, on the 27th. i have my artist (tiffany caldwell, local photographer) and brandon's working on the design for the posters & flyers. all i really have left to do is make my setup to hang the pictures on. i think i'm gonna try to get dan to help me with that next time they're down. i think the only problem might be lighting, but i can work that out with rob later i guess. should be pretty cool in the end though.

i'm off to the gym.
  • Current Mood
    productive productive
aquatic dream

(no subject)

i'm getting a damn business license.

i knew there had to be a reason i felt i was wasting my time working for other people lately, and i just had it affirmed. i may not be an amazing photographer (yet), i may not know everything about the technical side of it, but i know i'm talented and i'm driven. people like my work and i do have several of them offering to pay me for it lately, so why not? it will be a slow start and i know that, but i refuse to remain stuck in entry level jobs wondering what if. i'll network more, i'll advertise, i'll do whatever i have to.

now i just have to think of a business name. :D
  • Current Mood
    impressed inspired
aquatic dream

such a beautiful lie to believe in

i'd love to sit here and say that it doesn't matter, better fish in the sea, blah blah blah.

i can't though. i'm disappointed. what posesses someone to really lead you to believe they're interested in you and that you have some crazy connection, then just bail? to look you in the eye and promise to call, then not do it. i know i'm not the first person this has happened to, hell it's not even the first time it's happened to me. but i still don't get it.

i seriously thought he'd be different. there was just something about him. can i not trust my own judgement?

sigh.
  • Current Music
    30 seconds to mars - a beautiful lie