Muss es sein?

This week is my last full week before winter break. My schedule has become very spacious, so I've decided to set goals for the book I'm reading, Blue Raven, by Gerald Vizenor, about two Anishinaabe brothers serving in France in World War I: at three chapter per day.

I also have plans to reorganize my sewing room and office area this week. At the beginning of next week, I'll have a lot of final papers to grade and final grades to calculate, so I'm not going to begin my winter break-designated projects just yet.

Below are some photos of my most delightful meal in Austin: homemade gnocchi and mozzarella cheese from a food truck at a food truck park on Barton Springs Road that we visited after the botanical garden. I loved that the Italian food truck had its own mobile herb garden.





We also paid a visit to Blue Cat Cafe. We just petted the cats and hung around. They were not serving food at the time. It seems like the cafe has irregular hours right now, and it seemed a bit disorganized, but we enjoyed seeing the cute cats. In the front yard there was a cemetery for the cats that had passed away, with graves adorned with stones, cacti and succulents.

Yesterday, we had breakfast at Figure 8 Coffee Purveyors, and then went shopping at several stores, some familiar and some new. I got a brown- and tan-colored early 80's dress with a matching belt at New Bohemia, a 2019 Sanrio planner at Toy Joy, and a black semi-formal dress and Covenant Northern Lights album at Secret October.

https://instagram.com/p/BqiqEOSnWYx

We also stopped at Zhi Tea, got a pot of oolong, and I purchased some Keemum Mao Feng and 1980's aged oolong loose leaf. For dinner, we had Japanese-style toasts at another coffee shop, Sa-Tén. Mine was egg salad with nori: truly awesome.

https://instagram.com/p/BqiwI0mnVhj

We also shopped at Malvern Books, and I got two poetry books: Sea, Land, Shadow, by Kazuko Shiraishi, and Songs from a Mountain, by Amanda Nadelberg.

The weather here has been great. Walking the dogs right when I get up gets me out early in the morning. Even though I don't like having to step out of the hotel right after I wake up, I love walking around early in the morning. It was my favorite part of traveling to St. Louis as well.

Annabelle frolicking in the grass during our walk to the pond.




The area around the pond, much more colorful after recent rains.

We are spending the long weekend in Austin, but I wanted to share some recent pictures I took at home. After I get back on Monday, I only have one more week of work until winter vacation.

On the car ride up, I started a new book, one I found in a thrift shop on the way to Fredericksburg this summer:
Wild Cat by Laura Black








So far, I like it: it was published in 1979 and very much in the tradition of the gothic romances popular at that time.

I'm also working on a cross stitch while listening to The Ghost Bride on Audible:
The Ghost Bride by Yangsze Choo

"Into Your Light," from Leaves' Eyes album Lovelorn (2004).

My favorite song from the Lovelorn album, and one of my favorite metal/gothic videos of all time. I saw them live on their Vinland Saga tour, and cherish their last album King of Kings, the last recorded with Liv Kristine, before she left the band. (╯︵╰,)

I was soaking my body in the tub when the electricity went out.
Outside, it rains and
rusted sadnesses float to the surface.
A terrified child runs through a dark hallway.

Read more on Korean Literature Now here.

scruffy sparrows
chatter outside the bakery
raisin scones

Gerald Vizenor, Favor of Crows

Common, worse-for-wear birds center an outdoor scene. The rumpled sparrows contrast with the sleek bakery, while their chatter invites personification. The object of their focus soon becomes apparent: delectable pastries. Perhaps the urban urchins glimpse the scones as they emerge from a hot oven, or grace a glass display case. The sparrows are teased by the elusive treats, though their "chatter" suggests their minds are working on the problem.

The haiku image evokes sympathies between human and sparrows, who can both appreciate a tasty pastry. Yet, the scene also hints at a troublesome hierarchy, a contrast between the decadent upper-class and others who can only view, without touching, their rich daily fare. Instead of emphasizing such divisions, the image's impact lies in the sparrows' lively and likely conspiratorial interchanges.

I recently began a poetry criticism blog, more directly connected to my studies. I will also be posting those entries here in future.

The Orchid Door book online: HTML, PDF

According to Brother Anthony's site, The Orchid Door is a book of poetry by Joan Grigsby adapted from Korean originals. The poem "Rainbow Sleeves" below is from this collection. Like many of her Western Modernist contemporaries, Grigsby appears to have been drawn to a culture and aesthetic very different from that of her upbringing. Living in Korea, Grigsby engaged in creative re-envisioning of traditional Korean poems in a manner that highlighted the concerns of women: more specifically, the concerns of Western women confined to domestic spaces, acted through Korean people and places. "Rainbow Sleeves" is written along these lines.

Rainbow Sleeves (Anon.)

Her rainbow sleeves are gay as golden wine
Poured from a silver flask to porcelain bowls.
Between the guests she moves. Their wet lips shine.

Their eyes grow dry and hot as burning coals,
Watching her bend to pour their perfumed wine,
Watching her rainbow sleeves above the bowls.

One gives her amber beads like honeyed light,
Another, coral drops for her to wear
Like folded peach buds in her ears tonight,
While one sets bright blue feathers in her hair.
Gay are her sleeves!
Yet, in the lanterns' light,
Her face — a peony flower — reveals despair.

The description "rainbow sleeves" recalls the brightly-colored striped sleeves of the jeogori, the jacket of the hanbok, the traditional Korean women's dress. The serving woman's costume provides a cheerful vision for her guests. She provides, while her male guests consume, as their "wet lips" suggest, sensually.

The guests' eyes, "dry and hot as burning coals," reveal that their desire to consume has now turned to the woman. Perhaps looking for sexual favors, the guests provide her with sumptuous gifts. The gifts complement her beauty and enhance their pleasure in observing her. As "one sets bright blue feathers in her hair," she is transformed into a bird, albeit a caged one.

Described in contrast to the woman's bright sleeves, the "despair" upon her "peony flower" face's expression is the only statement of her personhood, though even the face itself is objectified, perhaps exoticized, by the speaker, as it is compared to a flower with Asian connotations.

The overall situation and "rainbow sleeves" remind me of the old English poem Greensleeves.

A new Courtly Sonnet, of the Ladie Greensleeves.
Alas, my love, you do me wrong
To cast me off discourteously
And I have lov-ed you so long
Delighting in your companie

(Chorus)Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight
Greensleeves was my heart of gold
And who but my Ladie Greensleeves

I have been ready at your hand
To grant whatever you would crave,
I have both waged life and land,
Your love and good-will for to have.

(Chorus)

I bought thee kerchers to thy head,
That were wrought fine and gallantly
I kept thee both boord and bed
Which cost my purse well favouredly

(Chorus)

I bought thee petticoats of the best,
The cloth so fine as might be;
I gave thee jewels for thy chest,
And all this cost I spent on thee.

The speaker of "Greensleeves" continues to list his expenditures on the lady, who will not bestow favors despite accepting his gifts. Meanwhile, the green of her sleeves suggests gaiety or promiscuity misconstrued by the speaker. In both poems, the woman's colorful sleeves serve as a false indicator of joy in contrast to her disconnection from the male admirer(s).

Yet, "Greensleeves" retains her independence, while "Rainbow Sleeves" wades through nights of despair. The fixedness of her costume and position suggest that she is locked into her dilemma with no hope of escape.

"Rainbow Sleeves" also suggests, in a broader sense, the falseness and spiritual barrenness of a society structured entirely around exchange of materials and services; in short, a poem that may speak much more to the conditions of Modernist women like Grigsby who felt stifled by conditions at home and went abroad to find themselves in a separate space.

The great 19th-century master, Cho Ui, indicated that tea should be placed in the pot first, then water poured on, only in winter (Hatu-beop), whereas in spring and autumn he was accustomed to half-filling the tea pot with water first, then adding the tea, before pouring in the rest of the water (Chungtu-beop); in summer, he suggested, the pot should be filled with water first, then the tea added (Sangtu-beop). He felt that these different methods ensured the best taste for the changing seasons.

Brother Anthony of Taize and Hong Kyeong-Hee, The Korean Way of Tea

Name/Nickname: Amanda.

Age/Birthdate/Sign: 35 / April 14 / Aries (Virgo Rising)

Myers-Briggs (if you know it): INFJ

How long have you had your LJ: Since July 4, 2005. The original username was amanda_mont. My original LJ was amanda_story, started 2004. I created a new journal for my married name.

What does your username mean: Last April, I changed my username to absintheforest. For me, this name signifies the confusion that I feel as I move forward in life: like being lost in a forest, while also experiencing dreamy hallucinations.

What is your favorite thing about LJ: The fact that LJ has always been subcultural, a haven for goths and others outside of mainstream society.

What is your least favorite thing about LJ: The image sizing in most templates needs to be updated. The fact that I have to worry about both image sizes and post cuts is a huge downside for me. These are both things that other blogging sites take care of automatically. I hope LJ updates those very basic issues soon.

What is your motivation on Live Journal? My main attractions are cross stitch and craft communities, and to meet other writers and creators. I discovered so many passions here: manga, BJDs, Visual Kei, EGL, Mori Girl, Fairy Kei.

Have you ever met anyone on your F List in real life? Yes, when the LJ BJD community was more active, I met several in meet-ups.

Do you have a paid subscription? I have had a paid account for several years.

Where do you live: Fort Worth, Texas.

Do you have an accent? It depends on the circumstances. If I had one, it would be a Texas drawl. People often note that I don't have an accent.

Do you have pets:

• Two dogs: Chevre (poodle) and Gaston (chihuahua).


• Three cats: Jade Moon (domestic longhair), Mewen (Siamese), and Olive (long-haired tuxedo). We adopted Jade Moon and Mewen from agencies, while Olive came from a friend.


• Five chickens: Rose Red (Rhode Island Red), Gavril the rooster (mini Rhode Island Red), Snow White, Cinderella and Beauty (unknown breeds).


• And a green-cheeked conure named Dewey.

Jade Moon

Mewen (and Jade Moon)

Do you/did you go to school: Yes. I have a degree in Biology and English minor from Texas A&M University. Right now I am studying Korean language at the University of Texas at Arlington.

Do you work: Yes, I work as a microbiologist at a pharmaceuticals company.

Where/What do you do: I test samples for microbiological safety. Before this, I was a quality control chemist in two different positions. I also worked as a scientist in product safety at Mary Kay.

Do you have more drama at home or at work: At work.

What do you often write about: I normally share my hobbies and photography and short excerpts of what I'm reading at the moment. I am not as casual and on-the-fly as I used to be about writing entries. That doesn't come naturally anymore for me.

What else should readers know: I try to connect with friends through comments, though I feel my comments are often awkward. Please bear with me.

In the center of space there was, in the morning of time, a great abyss called Ginnunga-gap, the cleft of clefts, the yawning gulf, whose depths no eye could fathom, as it was enveloped in perpetual twilight. North of this abode was a space or world known as Nifl-heim, the home of mist and darkness, in the center of which bubbled the exhaustless spring Hvergelmir, the seething cauldron, whose water supplied twelve great streams known as the Elivagar. As the water of these streams flowed swiftly away from its source and encountered the cold blasts from the yawning gulf, it soon hardened into huge blocks of ice, which rolled downward into the immeasurable depths of the great abyss with a continual roar like thunder.

Helene A. Guerber, Myths of the Norsemen

This passage reminded me of the Qabalistic explanation of how the universe came into being.

There are three layers, or “veils” of the unmanifest lying just beyond Kether. Ain, meaning “nothing”; “Ain Soph, “limitless nothing”; and that which lies closest to Kether, Ain Soph Aur, “boundless light emanating out of nothing.”

Kala Trobe, Magic of Qabalah

The twelve great streams hardening into ice remind me of the emanations from Kether, the god-head, flowing through the nine remaining Sephiroth and culminating in Malkuth, the earthly realm.