Come Away With Me...

Okay before I get all whimsical etc. etc. My arm hurts REALLY bad and I don't know why its like in my collar bone and goes down to my wrist...maybe its nothing..eh..I'll live lol its just that hurt that kind of makes you sick lol.
********************************************************
Well this morning I woke up at 7 am...yes you heard me right 7 am lol. Why? Because I had School...yes...you heard me right once again I had school. Summer School. Math. 8-11 Kill..me...now lol. It wasnt THAT bad its just math and its for soooo long but you can talk and we get breaks etc and stuff like that and we went and played on playtopia because Mrs. Bogard is cool like that. Anyway. So I got done with math and went home. I did work around the house on account of moms sick etc. all that jazz. So I did laundry and dishes and stuff then counted my piggy bank (got about $57 right now) its all for Florida so I am not allowed to touch it. On a note about florida I thought mom was going to flip about expenses but she was like "Oh we'll make it work...don't worry." so I'm getting my plane ticket this week *takes a moment for that to sit in* I also talked to Alex on the phone which was great because our phone talks are the best!! We recalled watching Social Misfits I love my padfoot.

This evening mum and I watched a movie and talked about stuff...nothing worth getting into but we really cleared up alot of stuff. And then I set off for a walk...as I tend to do after a deep discussion, I just like to clear my head. I take my normal route down mainstreet past the theatre etc. etc. I walk along and can still hear the faint sounds of fireworks being shot off. I smile, the small little pops every now and then remind me that I am alive. I feel sort of lonely walking alone, the last three people I had called hadn't been home. But I'm fine like that. I hate being alone but sometimes one has to walk and think. I summer air still smells like it did when we were little, the same trees are there, the same buildings..but we've all grown. From training wheels and helmets to mountain bikes and scraped knees to sports cars and responsibility we've gone through it all...we're at a time right now when we should be free but at the same time we should feel stress...for once in a long while I don't feel stress. I've felt stress before OH BELIEVE ME but I'm content at the moment. I have everything going for me. I've got the greatest friends EVER I've got the BEST boyfriend possible (still have no clue why I am so lucky) and I've got summer...I've got summer and beyond that more life...the lifestyle of summer should essential bleed into normal school life...you should always carry a bit of summer around with you. Who says the feelings should stop once summer ends? Not me...I love it. I love life, its so great. I snap out of my realm as some more blasts go off, I throw the tree berry I had been holding out in front of me. I smile to myself. For once I can say this is mine you can't take it :)

I halfway finished my walk and saw Stef!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was SOOOO happy to see her we hugged spoke of the shows and of Harry Potter and life...ahhh it was grand...we waled around a bit. Then I came home. I watched Queer Eye got a text from Jacob and now I sit drinking tea. Almost ready for bed.....

I sit in the back of the car along with Kara. I'm resting my head against the seat and my hand letting the warm summer air coming through Brittany's open window hit my face. The Scientist by Coldplay plays on the CD player...everyone is silent. We drive along the road towards Mount Vernon to satisfy and ice cream crave. It is myself, Kara, Brittany, and Keri...I smile at this combination. Everyone is in their own world as we listen to the song. I wonder what everyone is thinking...is it as simple as 'I wonder what Blizzard I'm going to get?' or as complex as 'what does it all mean?' I'm thinking of many things, all thoughts jumbling together. I think of the people I am currently with, I love them all. I think of my Moony and Padfoot..I love them and I wonder if they miss their Battuls. I think of the boy that makes my heart so happy...I wonder if he is having fun. I think of Indiana summers how slow they used to be and how explosive this one is turning into..the good kind of explosive. Life has been funny lately, I learned just how LOVED I am how the best ones make it allllllll better. I have never felt more protected before and I am sooooooo greatful ::smile flpflpflp:: I think to the future, the future of this summer...it looks amazing. Perfect. A motorcycle zooms by the car very loudly, sporadic laughter begins to filter throughout the car very soon were all laughing. I watch the sun sink beneath the horizon. I think about the time, it was about 10:30 at Alex's I wondered what she was doing, probably reading. I started Harry Potter again today, the 5th one..thats a hard one to put down. I look up ahead of me at Keri and Brittany talking...I love when its just like this, happiness. simple. I rest back and let the warm summer air hit my face again, whipping my blonde streaked bangs around my face. I close my eyes and think of my summer list it's going great so far.

I drive along the road. Its around 11:45 pm. I left Keri and Kara to highlighting Brittany's hair a funny experience. My window is down, I watch the lightening bugs in the fileds blinking, the stars above. I listen to Death Cab on my CD player and smile at the lyrics that I love. I subconciously run through my lines for my audition in my head. I think of the song, I think of the rest of the summer...bonfires, movies, DISNEYWORLD, secret Order meetings on the phone, love, BEST friends (you know who you are *beat beat*) I think about the future, yes it may be scary but it is thrilling all the same. Envigorating. I go slower than usual on my drive home as 'Passenger Seat' starts playing. I breathe in the country smell...I feel so much like a city girl lol. But this feeling is still comforting. The warm air prickling my arm. I blink my eyes heavily I'm slightly tired. I have a big day. I think of those I miss, the two girls that there is just TOO much to say to/about, the boy i love, the memories of a week ago. A week ago I was laying on Alex's kitchen floor with her and Lauren having meaningful talks, about life and about Harry Potter lol. I wonder how Brittany's hair turned out. I'm glad I'm not the only one that has those feelings about Sara...I sigh slightly contently. I pull into my driveway and grab my CD case 'zipper it up real quick' I say as I zip it up. I walk in my silent house. The kitchen light still on. I think about my summer list...and how great it is.

Summer '05 (bold ones have been done)

Dance for no reason

Take many pictures

Have a big bonfire

Roast marshmallows

Watch fireworks with people I love (though we were scared at first)

Have a meaningful sleepover

Ride on a plane

Find love and keep it

Stare at the stars

Read more

Listen to more music

Go to some concerts

Be random and spontaneous - need more of that though

Be free (once again could be fine tuned)

Take night time drives (severley needed)

Love and be loved by friends (*smiles flpflp*)

Create stories and memories to last a lifetime

LIVE IT UP.

Thus it ends...an amazing fun filled weekend I will never forget. Its very bittersweet but its not the end like it normally is..uncertain of when we'll be united again. Because Florida is right around the corner :). I can't really put it all into words lol so I'll just make a list. I miss my Moony and Padfoot

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*Frankie: Jill I love it when your hair blows in the wind

*The Order of the BatPhoenix

*Carter being so smooth with the ladies

*The scary walk in the dark

*Ferris peeing on our blanket the first night

*Finally meeting Lauren OMGGGGGGG

*Frankie: Do you have milk in your country?

*Ferris peeing on Lauren

*Aunty Dawne being just like Aunty Sara

*Just call me Mama Rose

*Welcome to the Videos

*"I DONT LIKE IT WHEN DADDY SINGS LIKE THAT!"

*Me Alex and Noah dressing up like Newsies for breakfast

*Crying during ROTK extras

*I'll be Fred....maybenot!!

*Finally being in a blue state!

*John Ryes-Davies laugh

*Batmannnnnnnnn

*The noise in the ceiling DURING BATMAN

*"I hope thats not Planet Isben"

*Lauren's Hayden love

*Walking back from the store like hobos with marshmallows and redbull and getting honked at

*Seeing Plymouth rock

*"This is Padfoot Moony Prongs...oh..and um..thats Battuls.

*Alex kissing Axl on her closet door and Sting going off at the same time inside the closet

*Everyone singing while Alex downed redbull in horror

*Me and Lauren singing Welcome to the Jungle

*Don't dress up like Harry again

*Restraining Moony in the yard

*The Rock

*Getting stuck inside the rock

*Sea Glass adventures

*Our hugee walking sticks

*Alex cutting my hair

*Alex's dad wanting to come to see my mom AH! lol

*Our Welcome to the Jungle FREAKOUT in the car

*Sweet Child O' Mine on in the gas station

*Me and Lauren singing "Sail on Sweet Sister..."

*Uncle Sam setting off fireworks and about killing us

*Not being able to find anywhere to eat breakfast

*Alex almost rebreaking my nose

*Lauren looksa like Christian HA

*"I love *insert word*" "..I love Elijah!"

*The Duff and Steven dance!

*"When is Daddy coming home?!"

*Drawing our men in the restaurant

*Plymouth rock

*Seeing the cowboy man at the bottom on the huge hill

*The Spot Docks

*Jack not getting any sleep because of alex and spot's anniversary

*Linking arms

*Ice Cream flinging

*Alex almost rebreaking my nose

*I got to see THE cigarette

*Shoving cake in the Lauren's mouth

*My batman shirt

*My Jack shirt and pillowcase

*The Hobo Card that I LOVEEEEE

*Bruce the caterpillar!! aww I miss him

*Willy being amused at my caterpillar antics

*All the yard rampages



OMG THERES SO much I'm probably forgetting but the pictures will remind me I'm off for awhile.

Wrote a song tonight..its not about anyone in particular, it doesn't represent me. It's just a song that evolved from me saying "its been one of those days".

Just one a those days
*********************
She puts down her paper
And sets down her pen
Watches the shadows
As the evening light dims

Its been one a those days
she says
Just one athose days
ya dread
Oh the world don't seem right
Words cut like a knife
One a those dyas she says
But tomorrow the sun breathes again

Rain smears the ink
on the letter he wrote her
Bleeding the memories
on the neatly lined paper

A farewell to their love
he wrote just that day
Nothing she said
could move him to stay

It's been on a those days
she says
Just one a those days ya dread
Oh the world don't seem right
Some words cut like a knife
One a those days she says
But tomorrow the sun breathes again

Oh she stands in the middle
The rain pourin' down
The night storm consuming
This lie covered town
She screams to the darkness
And lowers her eyes
She speaks oh so softly
So he won't hear her cry

It's been one a those days
she says
Just one a those days ya dread
Oh the world on't seem right
His words cut like a knife
One a those days
she says
But tomorrow the sun breathes again.

Oh what a night! *expects people to start singing* oh good lol. Summer '05 is looking better and better. I'm going to Alex's in 5 days can you believe it?! REUNITEDDDDDDDD thats kind of scary lol. I love it!!!!! "1, 2!" sorry I'm random singing along to my music lol.

Well kiddos, I look back in my old LJ entries sometimes and I realize that I have up and down times, just like any normal teen journal eh? But now as summer goes on i feel I wanna push the bad things away. Fuck bees!..I mean bad times. I feel on top of the world at the moment *stands on keri's couch like tom cruise* haha. I've deal with up and down this past year and I hated it...if people want to make me feel like shit and I let them then I let them win and thats just not fun. Just learn and move on from it.

If I'm not in love right now then I don't know what the fuck love is. I've always been very cautious with my heart because I've always misunderstood signals. Ive never really found the right guy you all know I've spent many a time confiding in my little foursome and I thank you guys you deserve a drink! lol. But now I have found him. And it's the best feeling in the world. I've never been able to confide in guys before unless they were like my brothers from the class and I feel I can confide in Jacob, I'm comfortable around him to be myself and thats very impotant to me. I love feeling loved. And all my friends love him. Its like they say let the happiness come to you, you'll find it when you least expect it.

Okay lets look at my little fucking fabulous foursome I have the four greatest people in the world as my friends Alex Keri Kara Lauren I thank you guys from the bottom of my heart I love each of you like you were my family (Alex Keri you KNOW that you are my moms second kids 'I LOVE keri!' 'well you know Alex is going to be moving in here.in YOUR room' I love it lol)But you've helped me out of many a predicaments and taken care of me. My mamakeri and my sisteralex and then Kara and little bwa I've got a relationship like family with you guys..its great and thank you soo much.

So theres my happiness rant...it feels good to be happy. I love the rain (thats random oh well) So tomorrow is another day. I'm loving the road I'm on and I don't see many detours for awhile.

Blindedfolded Vision
********************
She washes her hands
Of her old way of living
And takes out the bottle
Of a fake new beginning
She puts down her pen
And put on the wig
What the hell ever happened
To dreaming so big

Staring wide eyed so dead
She's so held in that prison
Cant even realize
She's got blindfolded vision

To everyone thats got hair full of pink
The ones that dont give in
Keep your mind free to think
Take a bow
Take a stand
Give a yell
Dont give in

To you the ones that stand behind
The carbon copy faces
Of a generation so blind
Oh you dont get it do you?
You don't have to be that way
Step out tune
Live it today

Strip off your wig
And that fake plastic look
One rebel yell
Is all that it took

Dont worry about her
She chose her own drug
Livin' in a fake skin
Like some kind of bug
Got sentenced today
To stay in that prison
So unaware
Of her blindfolded vision

I'll try to make this as much of a mini rant as possible seeing as I am sure I will have another one after tomorrow night.

It's around 5:30 pm, it's tuesday. My mom's in the kitchen making dinner I'm on the computer and like so many times before she peers over and I'm doing just what she is expecting me to do. I'm lightly headbanging with my headphones on and mouthing the words to the songs as I go along. But there is one difference this time, for this Tuesday it is Summer  and summer leaves breathing room for dreams. And what are dreams if not something to fulfill?

It's around 8:45 pm. I'm on the drive home from my Aunt Sara's, taking the country roads with my driver side window down taking in the all to familiar smells, the scents I've been breathing since I was 4 years old. Driving the roads I've been riding since I was 4. Listening the the music thats been inspiring me for sometime. Envisioning the dreams I've been producing since, well, a few hours ago.

If you know me at all you know I dream big. Sometimes too big you may think, alrighty. This summer, I feel, is full of lofty plans, goals. I'm on a music driven edge...so forgive me if this sounds rather retarded:

I have a journal upstairs, my dear mummakeri got for me. I have a few things written in it mainly poems and such but tonight I had the biggest urge to go upstairs and get it. I have the biggest NEED to write my songs down in it. I get in these states where I have these songs pouring out of me and I need to write them down. I want to have a band. Keri's artistic talents are nothing short of amazing, I know. I feel if she were merely to pick up a guitar and strike some chords she could produce amazing things, wonderous sounds. If Keri and I are synchopated with one thing it is we both can be the wise cracking amusing people we are but when were together and we get the drive and dream I think, I know!, we could produce amazing things. Music is the core to life. Music is anything short of just something to listen to while you're working out. People who write their own stuff you know not like britney spears but people who pour their soul over the pages and give the kids a message through their songs...to be one of the greats...*sighs*

It's 10:36 pm. I stare around me, my cell phone, my CD playe that earlier held Guns N' Rose Greatest Hits, My calculator, and my door. I smirk to myself, I know by the end of the night I'll end up on my back porch couch in the dark, the sound of the night driving me to scribble lyrics to a song that may or may not one day be known by some.

It's tomorrow..and I'm anticipating one of the greatest beginning summer nights of my life.

hey guys I made 3 gnr icons today. I had another axl one but i lost it...awww. Anyway take and USEEE

 - Have some Sympathy

 - without text

 - Guitar God

follow the cut...cause i wanted to have fun with a cut plus there are pictures underneath lol

 

( Behind the Music..Behind the StoryCollapse )

The Redundant Basics

I. What does the name say on your birth certificate? Jillian Rose Lindauer
II. What is the name that all your friends call you by? Jill, Peepa
III. What day of the year do you blow out your candles? April 28th
IV. Which country authorized your passport? USA
V. What are you Zodiac and Chinese signs? Taurus and Dragonn
VI. In terms of politics, are you on the right or left? LEFT BABY!!
VII. Look in the mirror. The color of your hair is what? light brown with blonde highlights.
VIII. Look in the mirror one more time, what color are your eyes? blue green mix
IX. Stand up straight! How high up is the top of your head from the ground? 5'6-5'7
X. Do you ever wish that you were a different age? sometimes..yeah. Alex our 20's will be grand.

Home Sweet Home

I. Who are all those other people living in your house? Mumma
II. Do you get along with mom or dad better? Mom just cause she knows more about me.
III. What do your parents friends call them? Julie or Jules and Randy
IV. Any siblings living outside the house? Madeline and Alex lol
V. What's the name of the place you live in currently? New Harmony
VI. You love it there, dont you? eh...i have my moments
VII. If you could live absolutely anywhere on the Earth, what location would you choose? New Zealand in a hobbit hut amongst the existing hobbits. *shifty eyes*
VIII. Out of all those blood related, immediate or other, which single person would you list as your favorite? hard. between aunty sara/mum/emmy
IX. Who is one you wish you didnt share blood with? aunt pam
X. Overall, you like moms side of the family more, or dads? moms
Knowledge Is Power

I. First things first, private or public school? public school.
II. What's its name? mascot? colors? new harmony high school, rappites (don't ask), blue and white.
III. What is/are the class(es) you can't wait to get to? psychology/art
IV. How about the class you consider bedtime? of last year that would be Spanish and Egnlish
V. The name(s) of your favorite teachers from the past years: mrs. becky, mrs. wilson, mrs gray.
VI. The name(s) of the teacher that puts you to sleep: MARY FUCKING LOU FUCKING WAAAAAALLS.
VII. Are you an English/Art, or a Math/Science person? ENGLISH/ART ALL THE WAY
VIII. What sports do/have you played: softball and volleyball. and basketball for one practice. :D
IX. When the teacher checks the homework, do you usually get a "0" or a "100"? 100.
X. If you could change one thing about your school, what would it be? open minded and put drama back there and more artistic hmmm
Confidentiality & Beliefs

I. What's your worst fear? Have you ever experience this fear? spiders and being alone and yes i have
II. Have you ever acted troubled, just to get attention? hmmm
III. Do you believe in God? Jesus? Satan? Heaven? Purgatory? I'm spiritual not religious
IV. Do you have a secret that you'll take to the grave with you? probably
V. Have you ever told somebody you loved them, when secretly you didn't at all? I mean it when i say it
VI. (Friends, Religion, Politics, Family, Education, & Relationships) Organize the previous six in order of your personal preference in life: family and friends are a tie, relationships, politics, religion
VII. If you could change one thing about your physical looks, what would it be? weight lol.
IX. Have you ever cried in front of someone, and felt ashamed of it? yeah
X. Have you ever done drugs? Are you on drugs? no and no
The Hills Are Alive With The Sound of Music

I. If you had to pick, what's your favorite song of the moment? Metroland and Helena
II. Do you get most of your music from the internet, or from the store? internet.
III. Even though you can download music, do you still buy cds just because of the cd-case, CD itself, booklet, or just general authenticity? yes!
IV. What lone genre of music do you prefer above all? rock over all
V. What genre of music would you never be caught dead with? some country and really really hard death metal
VI. What band/artist has impacted your life the most? enya, green day, guns n' roses, the beatles, my chemical romance somewhat, james taylor
VII. What band/artist makes you cringe? marilyn manson some hard emo isn't too good
VIII. How many music files do you have on your computer? 94
IX. How many are legal? Err.. I'm gonna say about 2% of them are.
X. What instruments can you play? piano a bit, recorder (HA!), trumpet, violin, i can play some beatles on the guitar
The Small & Silver Screens

I. What's your favorite movie? LOTR trilogy
II. Generally, what genre of movies do you jump at the opportunity to see? (Action, Adventure, Comedy, Horror, Drama, Romance, Science Fiction): drama and comedy
III. Who is the actress/actor you most admire? actor: Christian Bale, Tom Hanks, Robert Deniro, Elijah Wood, actress: Catherine Zeta Jones and Kate Winslet
IV. Do you cry during/after certain movies? If yes, what was the last movie you remember crying at? I cry at certain movies, ROTKKKK with Alex and Empire of the Sun
V. What time of day do you prefer to see movies at (morning/noon/night): anytime after 6.
VI. What is the tv show you never miss? LOST, HOUSE and used to be simple life
VII. What is it you like about it so much? everything yay!
VIII. Whats the one tv show you can't stand? hmmm i dunno
IX. Do you think you spend more time watching the television or using the computer? using the computer.
X. Do you personally think that you spend too much time watching tv? the average person wastes like 6 years watching tv in their lifetime i think. :O!

Bon Appetite

I. Whats your favorite meal? Paninis
II. How about your favorite desert? chocolate chips or pie lol
III. When only a kid, did you eat your vegetables? yes.
IV. Do you still eat vegetables? yes
V. Are you a poor, average, or excellent cook? average --> excellent my mom's taught me alot
VI. What type of food do you prefer? italian i think.
VII. Salt or pepper? salt
VIII. ketchup or mustard? ketchup.
IX. Do you prefer going out to breakfast, lunch, or dinner? dinner.
X. Do you eat to live or live to eat? eat to live.

All's Fair In Love and War

I. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? boyfriend
II. Are you in love? Or are you using them? i am definantly NOT using them
III. Do you find most of the time you dislike the people that like you and vice versa? sometimes
IV. In terms of relationships, are you loving or manipulative? loving.
V. Do you live to love? Or would you rather love to live? a mix of both
VI. Do you believe that sex should come before or after marriage? either way..go for it lol
VII.</b> Do you plan to marry? If so, at what age? a bit before 30 i think
VIII. Do plan to have children, if so how many? 1
IX. Are your parents married or divorced? divorced...they are def. happier that way
X. Do you want to have a big, spectacular wedding with everyone you know invited or a small, traditional, get-together with family and close-friends wedding? it depends who i marry. something outside and not in a church.