Generally, stopping at the bathroom when you reach it in the third floor of the House allows Sif some time to think to himself. On one occasion, he tries to use the time to cry, but finds himself unable to. The final time he can do this is in Act 5, where Siffrin initially refuses to go into the bathroom. But after enough tries, Siffrin will start monologuing with their Chronic Self-Deprecation really hitting hard.
Siffrin's Thoughts: Urgh!!! Fine!!! You know you can get a little obsessed with monologues sometimes, but a little spiraling never hurt nobody! You're sad. You're alone. Everyone left you behind because you're such a horrible terrible disgusting person you thought it'd be fine to make them get cool skills faster. As if they were nothing more than characters in a play. Because that's what they are at this point, aren't they? That's what they've been to you, since you managed to beat the King. You won't let them be anything else. Because otherwise you'll have to deal with the fact that because of this loop, you are denying them agency, change, a future. But it's not your fault, is it? That you're stuck here? So why do you have to deal with anything? But you feel like it's your fault, because you've wished for something like this for a while, haven't you? A chance to always remember your adventures with them. To continue. For— (screen glitches out) End of monologue.
One citizen of Dormont, a daydreaming woman, says she has a sister and yet she's not consistent whether she does or not between the loops, until Sif asks her. When she tries to talk about it, she starts to freak out as she realizes she cannot remember her sister's name, until suddenly the woman just acts as if she never had a sister in the first place, leaving Siffrin confused and uneasy about what just happened. This all becomes much worse once the truth of Siffrin's home is revealed.
In Act 3, after completing a run of the house when you've completed everyone's friend hangouts in the same run, Siffrin wonders if that might be enough, if The Power of Love in his Family of Choice might be enough to change things and set him free. Yet despite the differing responses before talking with the handmaiden, the loop begins to repeat again. Then his friends notice something's wrong. Desperately, they run towards Siffrin as he can feel himself being pulled back. Isabeau's hand almost reaches Sif's. But then Siffrin wakes up in the field again reaching out to nothing, and soon starts berating himself for believing that love could save him.
If you helped them, if you were loved, it had to save you, didn't it? Friendship would save you, wouldn't it!!! Hahahahaha! It WAS different! But not enough to save you!!!
In Act 4, after so many loops, Siffrin becomes completely jaded and treats everything like a play, with him faking most of his responses and reactions, except one, Bonnie's hangout. Not only is his reaction genuine, it's far stronger as he's nearly on the verge of a barely contained anxiety attack at Bonnie saying he should have left them for dead instead of getting hurt, the trauma induced by the King clearly not disappearing anytime soon.
As the loops progress, Siffrin's mental state worsens to the point that he starts showing self-harm tendencies and a distressing apathy for his own wellbeing. This is especially apparent in a talk with Loop about Sif often using Tears to loop, to the point that Sif can imply that he wishes to use his own dagger to loop instead. This causes the normally mocking Loop to react with horror, and yet they're helpless to prevent a force from letting Sif have the ability to do so.
Even worse is that if Sif decides to use the dagger the first time while he and his family members are in the House, the narration text says he's pondering for a bit while holding the dagger, while Loop's voice pleads for him not to do it as a last chance. If you are brave enough to ignore their warning, he starts raising the dagger for a bit, startling Isabeau, who becomes afraid that Sif might hurt himself and attempts to stop him in a panic. However, Sif quickly lets the blade go into him at the split-second the screen cuts to black, as we hear the sound of a blade slicing him and then a thump on the floor, indicating that he has..."completed the job". Of course, he gets better thanks to that Resurrection/Death Loop of his, but still.
You killed yourself. START AGAIN
And of course, it doesn't get any better once Siffrin loops back anew. Should he talk to Loop afterwards, while they at first try to tease Siffrin about his decision and say they can't stay mad at him, it becomes increasingly evident that's not true. Whenever Loop asks how they can help on "this WONDERFUL new loop", the word "wonderful" is tellingly capitalized, as if to indicate that they're forcing themselves to say it.
If Siffrin tries to ask Loop what the difference is between using tears and the dagger to loop back, Loop will at first think it's a joke and become angry. However, if Siffrin genuinely asks, they will outright refuse to answer, stating that they should already know.note If the player hasn't figured it out, the difference is that Siffrin is starting to see their own body as disposable. With the context that Loop is Siffrin from START AGAIN: a prologue, it's clear that Loop is upset because they're seeing Siffrin make the same mistake that they did: discarding their body and sense of self in a false hope that it will relieve the pain, when it does not.
One of the characters you can potentially give the Bright Flower to, if you don't give it to any of your four companions, is the King. The comedic befuddlement of your team upon choosing this option is quickly undercut by Siffrin and the King's solemn mutual understanding of the gesture.
Siffrin: "I remember that you can give flowers to whoever you want, as long as they're..."
(The King takes a step forward, and gently takes the flower from your hand.)
King: "...... Bright one...... no matter how this battle ends...... Will you remember me?"
The beginning of Act 5 is just painful to watch. Siffrin tries to help his friends out to make them stronger, but by this point he's on the verge of crossing the Despair Event Horizon, and getting increasingly impatient, he tries to speed up each meeting. This completely backfires, and results in the previously very sweet friend-quests becoming heartbreaking moments where he alienates all of his friends.
When he tries to speed up Mirabelle on understanding that she's aromantic, he tells her that she should accept that she'll always be alone. This deeply upsets Mirabelle to the point she slaps Siffrin and calls him out for acting like he knows more about her than she does. Siffrin tries to explain that he didn't mean it like that, but it's too late to take it back.
Odile immediately picks up that something is wrong when Siffrin tries talking to her, and him knowing she wants a Familytale, and where to find one, arouse her suspicion. When she tries to question him, he angrily snaps at her, calling her annoying and overbearing. While she tries to calm him down, Siffrin projects his fear of abandonment onto Odile by saying she should leave him behind, the same way that her mother did, and that it's her family specialty. This pushes her Berserk Button and Odile grabs Siffrin by the collar, implied to be on the verge of shouting in his face or even getting violent. But she stops herself, shoots him a Death Glare, and just leaves.
Bonnie is at first worried when they see Siffrin, but initially forgets their worries when he offers to teach them how to fight. When they go to fight the sadness, Siffrin trips, but it ends up looking very fake because he doesn't actually trip over anything, and doesn't even react. Bonnie deduces that Siffrin did in on purpose, and he tells them that if he was to be hurt, they'd protect him, and vice versa. This causes their guilt of Siffrin getting hurt and losing an eye to really get them crying, to the point that they said they hated Siffrin for what he did, before running off sobbing.
Isabeau is warned by the others that Siffrin has been acting strange, and when he tries to get Siffrin to open up, the latter just zones out of their conversation. He tries to get Sif to talk about his feelings, but Sif, in a bout of frustration that Isabeau never says what he wants to say to him, and unable to see that Isabeau is genuinely concerned about him, verbally beats him down and calls him a coward and spits on his dreams of being a clothing designer. Isabeau coldy tells Siffin that he's at least trying to change, unlike him, and leaves to join the others.
When he goes to talk to Loop afterwards, Sif cries and falls to his knees at the idea that he may be stuck for good in front of them before he lashes out at Loop for withholding information. To make things worse, even Loop's taken aback and horrified at how bad Siffrin's mental state has gotten and desperately begs him not to give up. But by this point, Siffrin's so far gone that he doesn't even want to listen to Loop anymore, and leaves for the clocktower mid-conversation.
And the cherry on top, when Siffrin goes to the clocktower, he eavesdrops on everyone's conversation about their concerns. What makes it so heartbreaking is that it's clear that even if all of Siffrin's friends are upset at him, they're struggling to decide what to do about facing the king tomorrow specifically because they still care about him and want to help. However, Siffrin misinterprets this as them all hating him, and, ironically, leaves them behind to face the King alone.
How self-destructive Sif becomes as they go through the House in Act 5. He does things such as taking more than the recommended painkiller amount, attempting to drink despite not liking alcohol (though it turns out to be just regular grape juice), and cutting himself with a piece of glass.
The "fight" with Mal Du Pays. Being Siffrin's Sadness and self-hatred made manifest, none of Siffrin's attacks do anything to it. And while Mal Du Pays doesn't attack him directly, it brutally tears him down verbally by imitating his friends and targeting Sif's fear of abandonment, causing Siffrin to despair and nearly give up.
The final fight in Act 5, between Siffrin and his friends, except it's not a proper battle, it's Siffrin in the midst of a total mental breakdown and is lashing out due to fear of abandonment. Despite Odile attacking in self-defense, after being berated by the other members, none of them try to attack Siffrin again. If Siffrin doesn't attack the group, he winds up attacking himself instead, and the group can only watch in horror as they try to get through to him.
Siffrin deals a fraction of the damage he does to himself, not only due to his self-hatred but likely not truly wanting to hurt his friends even as he spirals.
Siffrin finally snapping at the Head Housemaiden when she can hear him. It’s not her fault that she’s not been able to help him and as far as she knows this is the first time they’ve ever met, but her finally breaking out of her robotic repeated speech and trying to help Siffrin just sends him spiralling even harder, much to the party’s horror.
When the battle against his friends begins, his face is now a total blank (like the black, blank faces of Bonnie [Acts 3-4] and the rest of the team in his hallucinations [Act 5]). No eyes, nose, mouth, or eyepatch anywhere. It's like his whole personality is dead, and he's an Empty Shell of a someone he used to be. And whenever he speaks (although he has no mouth), it kinda sounds demonic, as if he were possessed by a demon, or if he were Satan himself. And when he is stopped by Odile from looping, the face changes into a hysterical breakdown look that's described as follows...
Siffrin's character portrait during this fight (which is unused for the Mal du Pays fight). Doubles as a moment of Awesome for the beautiful art and the detail right down to the star you can see in his eye, but it’s hard to describe just how shattered, lost and hysterical he looks at this last moment where he's finally reached his limit. It's very frightening and sad, as Siffrin may never be the same again.
The very idea of your home, culture, childhood and family being wiped from existence, to the point that no one can remember anything about it, especially its name. It clearly leaves a gaping hole in both Siffrin and The King that they desperately wish to fill, but no matter what they do, they can't. What's worse is that there's no real good outcome: even in the best ending, Siffrin has to content himself with the fact that he'll never see home again.
The reason why Siffrin wasn't home when his island was wiped out of existence? He had run away from home for awhile, and never thought it would be the last time he'd see his home again. Even worse is that they explicitly state that they were a child when it happened, meaning Siffrin has been drifting and alone since childhood! Small wonder he's so attached to his True Companions.
If Siffrin examines his coin enough between loops, he can eventually recall what made him dislike croissants. One time, he had gone to purchase some at a bakery- but the baker had the same accent as Siffrin, almost outright implying that they come from the same lost island. This was enough to upset and distress Siffrin, to the point that he can no longer eat croissants without remembering that scene.
The culmination of Siffrin wondering if Isabeau will ever touch his shoulder under the Favor Tree in Act 4. Frustrated and desperate for some kind of physical contact, and to hear what Isabeau has been trying to tell him at The End of every loop, Siffrin makes a snap decision and kisses Isabeau out of the blue. The player knows how far gone Isabeau is on Siffrin by this point, and can contextualize his surprised reaction of pushing Siffrin away as genuine shock and surprise because he never would’ve dreamed of Siffrin making a move like that. But the game is through Siffrin’s eyes, and at this point he is spiralling into depression and self-loathing so deeply that he immediately believes Isabeau is disgusted by him for forcing a kiss on him and loops back. After this, Siffrin never lets Isabeau touch him. The memory he gets from this moment, Memory of Touch, is completely full of self-loathing and provides a heartbreaking minus 50 penalty to all of Siffrin’s stats.
Memory Description: Your eyes were bigger than your stomach. Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting.
Loop. Everything about their backstory and character is just tragic. They're a Siffrin from another timeline (heavily implied to be the prologue game, albeit one where they were always defeated by the King) who, unlike our Siffrin, never managed to get a good ending. It took them dozens, hundreds, even thousands of loops, just so that they could defeat the King only once. And even when they did beat him, they got looped all the way back to Dormont where Mirabelle had to join forces with them to defeat the King... again... which finally broke their spirit. Filled with despair, they wished to escape the loops in order to leave it all (just like we saw at the beginning of this game): and so they were warped into the starlike being we know them as today, and forced to help our Siffrin through his loops, suffering in the knowledge that none of his friends in this world recognize him as Siffrin and that they can never go home.
Should Siffrin lose against Loop in their fight, Loop will prep the killing blow... Only to break down, unable to do it. Despite everything, they're still the gentle Siffrin at heart: and it just highlights how lost they are now that they're here.
In Act 4, Siffrin can start to let their facade slip and be uncharacteristically silent. Isabeau's reaction to this is to tell them a joke to cheer them up. It works and Siffrin laughs, only for the cute moment to be undercut by Siffrin's narration saying "You'll have to remember to laugh next time".
The House is full of charming environmental interactions and dialogue with your party. Gradually though, sheer repetition starts to make them lose all meaning for Siffrin, with formerly hilarious jokes ceasing to be funny and provoking less and less of a reaction to the point where Siffrin knows them by heart and is simply parroting their lines robotically from a script, impatient to carry on.
Once such example is the "TREE-mendous tree" pun Siffrin makes when talking to Isabeau in front of the Favor Tree. Initially Siffrin's narration saying "No, you will always make the pun" if you try and skip it is entertaining, a reflection of his dedication to bad puns. Later though he adds that he needs the routine to stop him going insane, and eventually has the option to give up on the bit outright and simply remain silent.
In one of the dead end rooms Siffrin can enter by using the crest on the wrong tears (at which point it's impossible to reach the king) is a broken doll. Siffrin can hug it and sadly note that "This doll will never see the end." Thankfully subverted if he picks it up during Act 5 and then examines it in the final act.
Siffrin's Chronic Self-Deprecation being Played for Laughs at first (and therefore being easy to miss). Initially, Siffrin's snarky inner dialogue comes off them being a First-Person Smartass that mostly targets themself. Yet as the House's obstacles mount up and their stress increases, Siffrin's internal dialogue becomes far crueler and more abusive, calling himself disgusting and tearing himself down for simple mistakes or factors outside of their control to the point where they're hurting themself at least as much as the Sadnesses or the King. And while some of this is (negative) Character Development, it becomes obvious in hindsight that Siffrin has been dragging themself down as coping mechanism well before the loops began, and that the added stress only made it worse. Realism-Induced Horror ensues for anyone who's had the sudden realization that a loved one's self-mockery was actually a warning sign that they were in severe distress.
Act 6, despite being a good heartwarming epilogue, has a few moments. One of those is the talk with Odile where she asks what she thinks the kind of ending the first death was. Sif can respond with “The Real one”, with Odlie only being able to let out an “Oh Siffrin”
