Mercy is the cry of the soul thats stirred.

dreamwidth. same name.

Farewell friend.

There's not really another way to sum up 2016. Many music icons and Hollywood icons were lost this year but more than that, I have many friends who lost family. Some parents, some grandparents and some even lost children. My heart goes out to everyone who lost someone close. I grieve for them and with them.

Then there is the great political loss we had this year. The rich, old, white guy will be in office. He doesn't think he needs to play by the same rules as everyone else. Thankfully he is old and hopefully time catches up to him. Karma is a cunt when she wants to be.

To end this on a more positive note. I have a roof, a partner, and love in my life. I wish everyone could be so lucky.

Happy New Year.

You are such an ass when you don't have weed.
1. It is not my fault you run out so don't treat me like it is.
2. Yes, I know we just spent a chunk of change on the lawyer but still not my fault
you didn't put money aside for the months I was gone. Weed and legos were more important.
3. Don't be a jerk when *I* just cooked dinner for you. Everyone knows the cook don't eat first and if you don't want the crusty edges of the pizza fucking say something. I can't read your mind. Next time I do pizza I may just put olives on it to piss you off and see how you like it when I treat you like shit.

An update of sorts.

Been hanging in the Great White North for a few months. It's had it's good spots and not so great spots. Being with Marc, great spot. Not being able to drive my car because it isn't licensed because I am not a resident here, bad spot. Makes me feel trapped. Yes, we have a great bus system here but I am not in any shape to be walking that much these days. I need to fix that. Hopefully with the warmer weather there will be more walking. We do get to use mom-in-law's car a few times a week. Usually when we have grocery shopping to do and that's it. Sure, I get to pick Marc up from work those nights but we don't have the option of any time we want to go we can. It is what it is for now.

Speaking of mom-in-law... She pushed the wrong button the other day. Tried playing the "no one ever helps me" pity card. I was not having it and let her know as much. See, she doesn't ask for help but expects everyone to read her fucking mind and do her bidding that way. I have told her multiple upon multiple times that if she needs help with anything just ask. She doesn't. The couple of times she has, she has failed to do things that were needed for said help to happen. Then proceeds to say no ever helps her. WTF lady?!? So I finally got tired of her shit and let her know as much. I let her know that things were her fault for her lack of follow through. She was blaming Marc for stuff and I stopped being nice. She will be very fucking lucky if nice returns.

I miss my friends. I miss just hanging out and being silly. Bawdy talk and bad jokes. Geeking out over GoT and fan theories. Good foods, good beers. I miss my good people that have been there for the longest time and now are so far away.

To wish ill will upon others. Those people did not know my piece of shit father.
Apparently my step Aunt ran into him at Walmart. She called my sister to let her know
that he is walking just fine and now rides a Harley (he spent 10 years in a wheelchair
and did the poor pitiful me act because he wouldn't go to physical therapy, which
made it easier for him to NEVER pay child support). Oh and he didn't even ask about
his kids or grand kids. He is not a good man of any kind. There is plenty of other
bad shitty stuff that he did but I'm am not gonna rehash that story again.

IF there is a God of any kind, PLEASE take him out in a fiery, painful crash and let him suffer.

I would love for someone else to do my birthday planning.
I have planned my own birthdays since I was 16. This year
I didn't bother and surprise! neither did anyone else.
Not even a birthday card.

Thanks assholes.

If I offer to do veggie prep for your spaghetti feed to support the thing you do, make sure you have the damn containers. I even fucking asked if you had them and you said yes. I will not use mine because I do not want them ruined.

Never again.

It's funny how so many things change in 10 years...
but there are a few that are the same.

10 years and 5.25 months ago I flew to Calgary, AB to
see the Tea Party. Tonight I get to see them here in
Seattle at my fav venue, The Showbox. Both shows had/have
me seeing the show solo and I am quite ok with that.
There is something very deep and very personal for me
to see bands this way. Last time they made me cry, I wonder
what is in store this time around.

I'll write a review either late tonight or tomorrow.

Thank goodness for great music!

Another song to add to the Kevin file. Damn you Corey Taylor for writing songs that fit that long lost friendship so well.

Some things are better off forgotten
We bury them in places that we really only visit by ourselves
Oh you were a version like no other
Oh they never tell you what to do when all you see is gone
What's the sense in anything when what they say is wrong?

Oh what do you want to hear?
Do you know how many times
I tore myself apart cuz you're not here?
Oh why do you want to know?
Does it make you feel alive?
I had to die to finally let you go

Stop me... I find myself believing
A story gets rewritten so a blasphemy's permitted once again
Oh and you were so perfectly imperfect
Oh they never tell you what to do when all you have are lies
What's the sense in anything? It's just one more goodbye

Oh what do you want to hear?
Do you know how many times
I tore myself apart cuz you're not here?
Oh why do you want to know?
Does it make you feel alive?
I had to die to finally let you go

Oh what do you want to hear?
Do you know how many times
I tore myself apart cuz you're not here?
Oh why do you want to know?
Does it make you feel alive?
I had to die to finally let you go

I don't care what color you are and I think all my friends know that. That being said, I have zero tolerance for people who don't think there is a white privilege, sexism or that immigrants deserve a chance at a better life too. If you live in a bubble and fail to see the world on a grand scale or fail to see that we should all have the same rights regardless of where we are from, our religion, our politics... kindly fuck off.

You think someone went about getting their message across the wrong way, that's fine but remember it was how they chose to do it and now the message is part of an open dialogue. I don't agree with how the BLM girls disrupted Bernie's speech either BUT I do see why they did it.

White privilege is a cancer. Sexism is a cancer. Immigrants are NOT a cancer (they do the jobs you feel you are too damn good to do). I won't sit by and let you say how crappy a person is for how they chose to do things. I won't sit by and let you go on about how you think blacks have more rights than whites. They don't. They have had to fight for every inch of rights they have received. You don't get why they have black magazines, black channels, black colleges. You call it racism. You are fucking dumb. There has always been white magazines, white channels, white colleges, white men making the rules. The fact that you lack the empathy to even see or understand why you are wrong goes to prove that white male privilege exists.

I may be white but at least I try to see things from a different point of view. At least I keep an open mind to hear someone else's p.o.v. It's too bad that you don't. Have fun in that bubble.