The Bottle Room

Found this video on AOL. Such an adorable little fisherman.

I believe my New Year's Resolution can best be summed up from Job 39:19-25

"Do you give the horse its strength
or clothe its neck with a flowing mane?
Do you make it leap like a locust,
striking terror with its proud snorting?
It paws fiercely, rejoicing in its strength,
and charges into the fray.
It laughs at fear, afraid of nothing;
it does not shy away from the sword.
The quiver rattles against its side,
along with the flashing spear and lance.
In frenzied excitement it eats up the ground;
It cannot sit still when the trumpet sounds."

This is the giraffe weevil (photo from Cracked.com):





Imagine it on the back of your neck. Right now.

I got this email in my Coastal inbox:

"Many abused and neglected children must be removed from their homes and placed in foster care.

South Carolina Volunteer Guardian ad Litem program recruits, trains and supervises volunteers to advocate for abused and neglected children in Family Court. As a volunteer you will meet the children and families and go to court with your recommendations for what is best for the child.


Learn more about how you can be a child’s advocate.

Interest Meeting

Wednesday September 15, 2010

5:00pm

Student Center 206

Requirements: You must be 21 years old, attend training sessions and be willing to commit 4-6 hours a month for at least one year."


I don't know why, but this email out of all those that Student Activities sends out caught my eye. I think I'll go to the interest meeting and see what this is all about.

"Today scientists describe the universe in terms of two basic partial theories--the general theory of relativity and quantum mechanics. They are the great intellectual achievements of the first half of this century. The general theory of relativity describes the force of gravity and the large-scale structure of the universe, that is, the structure on scales from only a few miles to as large as a million million million million (1 with twenty-four zeros after it) miles, the size of the observable universe. Quantum mechanics, on the other hand, deals with phenomena on extremely small scales, such as a millionth of a millionth of an inch.

Unfortunately, however, these two theories are known to be inconsistent with each other--they cannot both be correct.

One of the major endeavors in physics today is the search for a new theory that will incorporate them both--a quantum theory of gravity.

....

Now, if you believe that the universe is not arbitrary, but is governed by definite laws, you ultimately have to combine the partial theories into a complete unified theory that will describe everything in the universe. But there is a fundamental paradox in the search for such a complete unified theory. The ideas about scientific theories outlined above assume we are rational beings who are free to observe the universe as we want and to draw logical deductions from what we see. In such a scheme it is reasonable to suppose that we might progress ever closer toward the laws that govern our universe.

Yet if there really is a complete unified theory, it would also presumably determine our actions. And so the theory itself would determine the outcome of our search for it. And why should it determine that we might come to the right conclusions from the evidence? Might it not equally well determine that we draw the wrong conclusion?"

--Stephen Hawking, A Brief History of Time

I suppose it's late, and I am in desperate need of a good sleep, but I was thinking today about how school starts on Wednesday. That is, of course, assuming I can pay my tuition through last-second student loans, federal money, or some other miracle.

On CCU's website, there are tons of articles about Welcome Week, orientations, and activities for all new and returning students. Usually, I get really excited about school starting. It always feels fresh and new and I get optimistic about which classes I will be taking.

That isn't happening this time around.

I'm...I'm worn out. There is no other way to describe it. I'm tired of school. What's worse(?) is that I don't think that it is my depression returning. Rather, I'm just tired. I don't know how much right I have to say this, but I feel like I've just been beaten down so many times by so many things for so long.

I have angels for both friends and family, who have helped me out of some really tough and scary situations, but...I'm tired of that, too. I'm tired of being rescued and I'm tired of having to go through situations where the rescue is needed at all.

For as long as I can remember, I've tried to have the "if you fall, get back up again" attitude. Things will always work out. Things will turn out the way they are supposed to. Every since I was little, I've looked forward to my education and my career and my life.

I just don't have that anymore. As I told Jenn, I feel like I've gone into 'survivalist' mode, where I'm not depressed, but I'm also not energetic nor optimistic. I'm starting to feel numb to everything. Everything now is just a matter of going through the motions and just accepting my usual run of luck.

....and I just found a note on my front door telling me that I have a balance due on my rental agreement. In the scheme of things, it's really not that much money, but it's money I don't have to spare. (Is it unhealthy when you start thinking that $20 is too much to spend for five days' worth of groceries?)

I guess, you just get beat down so many times that after a while, you just stay down.

About a month ago, my boyfriend and I made plans to go see the movie, "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World," today, which is also his birthday, though we never specified a showtime.

A few minutes ago, on Facebook, when I wished him a happy birthday, he mentioned he was leaving in just a few minutes to go see the movie.


Now, I'm no expert on relationships, but I'm pretty sure that was a blow off to me, if not a blatant 'fuck you.'


I'm already down and out for a variety of big reasons, but this is just the icing on the cake.

All I can say is, after suffering this bite, I better be spiderman.


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I haven't bowled in two years, and it's showing. I went today and bowled a 124, 134, 136, and a 110. When I was in leagues, my average was a 168. My arm also feels like it's been run through a spaghetti maker.

But it was wonderful feeling everything come back to me.

I had a horse show today and, despite the 100+ degree heat index, everything went pretty well. My results:

Halter: I showed Chloe and got second place.
Showmanship: Showed Brass and got first.
Open Walk/Trot Hunt Seat: Second
Open Hunt Seat: First
Open English Pleasure: First
Championship Pleasure: First

WHOOO! Brass was also the high point horse for the day, so I got a massive ribbon that goes around the horse's neck. Add the nearly thirty dollars in prize money, and I would call it a successful day.


A Horse's Prayer
I'm only a horse, dear Master, but my heart is warm and true,
And I'm ready to work my hardest, for the pleasure of pleasing you.
Good corn and hay and water are all that I wish to ask,
And a warm dry bed to rest on when I've finished my daily task.

Don't strike me in needless anger if I'm slow to understand,
But encourage my drooping spirits with a gentle voice and hand.
Finally, O my master, when my health and strength are gone-

When I'm getting old and feeble and my long life's work is done-
Don't sell me to cruel owners to be slaved to my latest breath,
But grant me the untold blessing of a quick and painless death.
That, as you have always found me a patient and loyal friend,
The years of my faithful service may be crowned by a peaceful end.

I plead in the name of the Savior,
Who cares when the sparrows fall,
Who was born in a lowly stable and knows and loves us all.

--From the Marion Saddle Club