@cognito-ergo-hazard / cognito-ergo-hazard.tumblr.com
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please send me reccomendations. as long as i dont actively want to not see it, i’ll add it to the list
obscure shit, commercial disasters, and anything that didnt get a US release are especially welcome
titles in bold i’m looking for help finding
it can be found here
I saw blade runner for the first time a couple days ago and now whenever I do anything that feels a little like I could die no matter how safe (eg, rock-climbing with a belay) IT'S A SHAME SHE WON'T LIVE, BUT THEN AGAIN WHO DOES? plays in my head
totally lives up to the hype btw, or at least seemed to when i watched it while pretty stoned. definitely need to watch it again soon it was really fun and blew me away
it's a true masterpiece* in which rutger hauer gives the performance of the century, and it deserves every scrap of its position in culture. it also sucks ass and is literally just a 2-hour het-romance version this comic
until i saw Bottoms (2023) it was my go-to example of what i mean by "and" when i say i like movies that are good and/or bad
*assuming we're talking about a version that doesnt have decker's internal monologue narrating everything in voiceovers, since it's also the skyrim of movies (has been released way too many times)
TO BE FAIR, that comic doesn't have every character and location feel fully developed and lived in via set/costume design, atho that set/costume design does end up falling back on "you see this Asian stuff? pretty freaky huh" like 50 times .. so maybe you have a point
no for sure. but the opening titlecards explicitly spell out the central metaphor, which spends almost the entire runtime getting progressively more hamfisted, culminating in a hilariously clumsy reference to the underground railroad ("what if i go north? disappear? would you come after me? hurt me?" "no")
and yet its a fantastic movie. one of the best ever made. imho any discussion of it that ignores how good it is OR how much it sucks is catastrophically incomplete
I saw blade runner for the first time a couple days ago and now whenever I do anything that feels a little like I could die no matter how safe (eg, rock-climbing with a belay) IT'S A SHAME SHE WON'T LIVE, BUT THEN AGAIN WHO DOES? plays in my head
totally lives up to the hype btw, or at least seemed to when i watched it while pretty stoned. definitely need to watch it again soon it was really fun and blew me away
it's a true masterpiece* in which rutger hauer gives the performance of the century, and it deserves every scrap of its position in culture. it also sucks ass and is literally just a 2-hour het-romance version this comic
until i saw Bottoms (2023) it was my go-to example of what i mean by "and" when i say i like movies that are good and/or bad
*assuming we're talking about a version that doesnt have decker's internal monologue narrating everything in voiceovers, since it's also the skyrim of movies (has been released way too many times)
if you consider yourself a leftist of any stripe (incl. post-left anarchist, so dont start) you need to watch The Man in the White Suit (1951)
this is a movie about why enshittification is inevitable under capitalism, and it's 71 years older than the word "enshittification"
the textile union marches on the boss's office and gets told "labor and capital are united in this"
go watch it
why was the saw boom mic guy serving cunt
saw heritage post
that's just what boom mic guys do
Before camera cranes were invented, William A. Wellman pulled off this tracking shot in WINGS (1927). It was the first Best Picture Oscar winner.
Cinematic moments
For those that are curious on how this was done: a custom built inverted rig held the camera as it was pushed along an overhead ceiling track. The camera operator laid above the camera on a flat platform.
i just watched this movie because of this post, and
1) it feels like a crime to give Wellman full credit for this without mentioning cinematographer Harry Perry or uncredited co-director Harry d'Abbadie d'Arrast, because
2) this isnt even the coolest shot in the movie. imo that distinction goes to an early shot of david and sylvia on a swing, where the camera is mounted to the swing with them and pans between them before jack comes running up out of the background and grabs them by the shoulders to prove it's not a projected background
Before camera cranes were invented, William A. Wellman pulled off this tracking shot in WINGS (1927). It was the first Best Picture Oscar winner.
Cinematic moments
For those that are curious on how this was done: a custom built inverted rig held the camera as it was pushed along an overhead ceiling track. The camera operator laid above the camera on a flat platform.
im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment
and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"
oh. its because theyre in brooklyn (65MYA)
obviously
this movie rocks
i am now 2 minutes in and this movie as already gone entirely off the rails, even relative to the fact that it started with a pixel animated skunk getting startled by an italian triceratops
we have reached the 3:30 mark
it has just been implied that yoshi is dino!kal-el
oh never mind it was apparently mario(?) that hatched from the egg
what is happening
(it was luigi)
no! it was daisy!
daisy: they're destroying everything under the sump pump! thank goodness you're here! luigi: ...what? daisy: well you're a plumber, aren't you? luigi: oh! right! i'm a plumber! i know exactly what to do! [smash cut] luigi: mario! we need your help!
their lawyer: i'm larry lazard, of lazard, lazard, conda, dactyl, and cohen
ok wow this movie got super racist super fast, but specifically in ways that arent immediately obvious if you don't know a whole bunch about racism. theyre doing eugenic phrenology
apparently getting put in the eugenics machine to make them smarter turned the goons into communists??
nvm they called king koopa "fascist" and "oppressor of the proletariat" but apparently theyre just royalists who hate him for being a usurper
that... was an experience. its not good but i certainly had a time watching it
watching the new one now. i reached mario less than a minute ago. how is this already worse?
there honestly wasnt much worth commenting on, aside from an extra with no lines that i have dubbed Dykey Kong
(numbers are good/bad/fun/total)
im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment
and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"
oh. its because theyre in brooklyn (65MYA)
obviously
this movie rocks
i am now 2 minutes in and this movie as already gone entirely off the rails, even relative to the fact that it started with a pixel animated skunk getting startled by an italian triceratops
we have reached the 3:30 mark
it has just been implied that yoshi is dino!kal-el
oh never mind it was apparently mario(?) that hatched from the egg
what is happening
(it was luigi)
no! it was daisy!
daisy: they're destroying everything under the sump pump! thank goodness you're here! luigi: ...what? daisy: well you're a plumber, aren't you? luigi: oh! right! i'm a plumber! i know exactly what to do! [smash cut] luigi: mario! we need your help!
their lawyer: i'm larry lazard, of lazard, lazard, conda, dactyl, and cohen
ok wow this movie got super racist super fast, but specifically in ways that arent immediately obvious if you don't know a whole bunch about racism. theyre doing eugenic phrenology
apparently getting put in the eugenics machine to make them smarter turned the goons into communists??
nvm they called king koopa "fascist" and "oppressor of the proletariat" but apparently theyre just royalists who hate him for being a usurper
that... was an experience. its not good but i certainly had a time watching it
watching the new one now. i reached mario less than a minute ago. how is this already worse?
im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment
and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"
oh. its because theyre in brooklyn (65MYA)
obviously
this movie rocks
i am now 2 minutes in and this movie as already gone entirely off the rails, even relative to the fact that it started with a pixel animated skunk getting startled by an italian triceratops
we have reached the 3:30 mark
it has just been implied that yoshi is dino!kal-el
oh never mind it was apparently mario(?) that hatched from the egg
what is happening
(it was luigi)
no! it was daisy!
daisy: they're destroying everything under the sump pump! thank goodness you're here! luigi: ...what? daisy: well you're a plumber, aren't you? luigi: oh! right! i'm a plumber! i know exactly what to do! [smash cut] luigi: mario! we need your help!
their lawyer: i'm larry lazard, of lazard, lazard, conda, dactyl, and cohen
ok wow this movie got super racist super fast, but specifically in ways that arent immediately obvious if you don't know a whole bunch about racism. theyre doing eugenic phrenology
apparently getting put in the eugenics machine to make them smarter turned the goons into communists??
nvm they called king koopa "fascist" and "oppressor of the proletariat" but apparently theyre just royalists who hate him for being a usurper
that... was an experience. its not good but i certainly had a time watching it
im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment
and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"
oh. its because theyre in brooklyn (65MYA)
obviously
this movie rocks
i am now 2 minutes in and this movie as already gone entirely off the rails, even relative to the fact that it started with a pixel animated skunk getting startled by an italian triceratops
we have reached the 3:30 mark
it has just been implied that yoshi is dino!kal-el
oh never mind it was apparently mario(?) that hatched from the egg
what is happening
(it was luigi)
no! it was daisy!
daisy: they're destroying everything under the sump pump! thank goodness you're here! luigi: ...what? daisy: well you're a plumber, aren't you? luigi: oh! right! i'm a plumber! i know exactly what to do! [smash cut] luigi: mario! we need your help!
their lawyer: i'm larry lazard, of lazard, lazard, conda, dactyl, and cohen
ok wow this movie got super racist super fast, but specifically in ways that arent immediately obvious if you don't know a whole bunch about racism. theyre doing eugenic phrenology
apparently getting put in the eugenics machine to make them smarter turned the goons into communists??
nvm they called king koopa "fascist" and "oppressor of the proletariat" but apparently theyre just royalists who hate him for being a usurper
im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment
and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"
oh. its because theyre in brooklyn (65MYA)
obviously
this movie rocks
i am now 2 minutes in and this movie as already gone entirely off the rails, even relative to the fact that it started with a pixel animated skunk getting startled by an italian triceratops
we have reached the 3:30 mark
it has just been implied that yoshi is dino!kal-el
oh never mind it was apparently mario(?) that hatched from the egg
what is happening
(it was luigi)
no! it was daisy!
daisy: they're destroying everything under the sump pump! thank goodness you're here! luigi: ...what? daisy: well you're a plumber, aren't you? luigi: oh! right! i'm a plumber! i know exactly what to do! [smash cut] luigi: mario! we need your help!
their lawyer: i'm larry lazard, of lazard, lazard, conda, dactyl, and cohen
ok wow this movie got super racist super fast, but specifically in ways that arent immediately obvious if you don't know a whole bunch about racism. theyre doing eugenic phrenology
apparently getting put in the eugenics machine to make them smarter turned the goons into communists??
im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment
and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"
oh. its because theyre in brooklyn (65MYA)
obviously
this movie rocks
i am now 2 minutes in and this movie as already gone entirely off the rails, even relative to the fact that it started with a pixel animated skunk getting startled by an italian triceratops
we have reached the 3:30 mark
it has just been implied that yoshi is dino!kal-el
oh never mind it was apparently mario(?) that hatched from the egg
what is happening
(it was luigi)
no! it was daisy!
daisy: they're destroying everything under the sump pump! thank goodness you're here! luigi: ...what? daisy: well you're a plumber, aren't you? luigi: oh! right! i'm a plumber! i know exactly what to do! [smash cut] luigi: mario! we need your help!
their lawyer: i'm larry lazard, of lazard, lazard, conda, dactyl, and cohen
ok wow this movie got super racist super fast, but specifically in ways that arent immediately obvious if you don't know a whole bunch about racism. theyre doing eugenic phrenology
im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment
and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"
oh. its because theyre in brooklyn (65MYA)
obviously
this movie rocks
i am now 2 minutes in and this movie as already gone entirely off the rails, even relative to the fact that it started with a pixel animated skunk getting startled by an italian triceratops
we have reached the 3:30 mark
it has just been implied that yoshi is dino!kal-el
oh never mind it was apparently mario(?) that hatched from the egg
what is happening
(it was luigi)
no! it was daisy!
daisy: they're destroying everything under the sump pump! thank goodness you're here! luigi: ...what? daisy: well you're a plumber, aren't you? luigi: oh! right! i'm a plumber! i know exactly what to do! [smash cut] luigi: mario! we need your help!
their lawyer: i'm larry lazard, of lazard, lazard, conda, dactyl, and cohen
