For men, it's now socially acceptable for those who are losing their hair to shave off what they do have - that's why we see fewer 'Ron Atkinson style'
comb-overs these days.
I prefer to watch others who do not know their limitations: tipsy uncles with
comb-overs stuttering through the Birdie Song, young men - dyslexic through drink - turning YMCA into frantic semaphore, self-conscious young men in white suits transforming Saturday Night Fever into a mild head-cold.
Such an impressive and intricate feat of engineering is this convoluted construction of
comb-overs, under-tucks and side-partings that his barber is probably a direct descendent of Isambard Kingdom Brunel.
Gary V, for one, testifies that his favorite hair cutter has remarked favorably on his healthier hair and scalp condition these days, and without hesitation, he says, he recommends Novuhair to anyone asking how he was able to step away from the brink of a receding hair line, or else having to resort to domestic borrowing, the humorous term coined to refer to some men's tactic of using
comb-overs to conceal a bald spot.
I can hide it when I'm on screen by doing
comb-overs. The doctor thinks it may be a side effect of the Levothyroxine tablets I take for my thyroid problems.
It's big on beige and big collars and the even bigger
comb-overs that chime with how we see 1970s America.
The options for dealing with it (
comb-overs, hair plugs, toupees, topical hair-growing slime, or, most humiliating, the infomercial powder-in-a-can product that promises to fill in thin spots with the squeeze of a spray pump) only aggravate feelings of inadequacy.
It was a sad day for football when young Wayne turned his back on the proud United tradition of heroes with massive, flailing
comb-overs - but you can't argue with the results, can you?
Here are my additions of things I find offensive: baseball caps worn backwards, polo shirts, socks with sandals,
comb-overs, bow ties, Confederate flag emblems, urinating cartoon characters - well, you get the idea.
"I get a lot of credit for
comb-overs. But it's not really a
comb-over," he added.
Crocs Socks are about as cool in France as
comb-overs, so I needed an alternative to my trusty trainers and these bad boys have fitted the bill perfectly.
Tesco's Joy Wickham said: "Until recently men resorted to
comb-overs or use toupees.