Fic: The Prince and his Catservant (Arthur/Merlin)
Author/Artist: Ally
Title: The Prince and his Catservant
Word Count: 8,212
Pairing(s): Arthur/Merlin
Rating: NC-17
Warnings/Spoilers: Made up words like ‘catservant’. Putting words in a cat’s mouth.
Summary: When Arthur’s mouth gets him in trouble with a psychotic faerie, it’s Merlin that has to save him from himself again. Will either of them be able to cope with Merlin’s new situation – and will they be able to reverse it?
Author's Note: While this was fun to write, I blatantly ripped off a small piece of Monty Python’ery. And this whole fic is based on the ridiculous. So enjoy it. Thank you to my beta,
filmatleven. (I'm also not above blatantly begging for art for this. If you read it and think you want to, PLEASE DO!)
“What is this supposed to be?” said the elderly woman to Arthur in a shriek, crooked walking stick nearly knocking against his head as she flailed it around.
Arthur ducked quickly, steeling himself to not use his manservant as a convenient shield. “It’s a shrubbery. That’s what you asked for, isn’t it?”
Merlin and Arthur had been on their way back from a somewhat successful hunting trip – if the bracers of hare and pheasants were anything to go by. Merlin had sneezed as Arthur was aiming at a lovely doe. He’d barely looked sheepish as he’d apologized when Arthur glared at him after groaning in dismay at the fleeing deer. Arthur thought a few hours in the stocks might leech some of the impertinence from him. He’d been far too lenient with Merlin recently, as evidenced by the lack of respect and the attempts at witty retorts to Arthur’s commands. Such as when Merlin suggested what part of Arthur’s body he could use as a sheath for his freshly polished sword when Arthur ordered it to be re-polished and sharpened.
Regardless, it was on their way back where they’d come across the old woman. She had stopped them as they rode, requesting ‘assistance for a most dire dilemma’. Arthur had agreed to help, if only to get her to stop clinging to his boot and grinning up at him with stained gums that were home to a lonely tooth. Unfortunately, he hadn’t realised he’d signed up to ‘find a shrubbery’. It was supposedly for her daughter’s newlywed home. Not wanting to seem as though the Crown Prince of Camelot didn’t know what a shrubbery was, he refrained from asking. He did, however, drag Merlin with him into the woods to help find a shrubbery, whatever the bloody hell that was. “What the bloody hell is a shrubbery?” Arthur asked.
Merlin shrugged. “Dunno. A small bush?”
Arthur looked over at his servant. “A bush? Why a bush?”
“Well, a small bush is called a shrub, so I would assume it has some relevance to what we’re looking for.”
“Huh. That makes sense. Why in the bloody hell would she want a small bush? Maybe it’s a small, flowering bush. You know... for girls.” Arthur suggested.
Again, Merlin shrugged. “Possibly. But I don’t see any small, flowery bushes.”
Arthur looked around in frustration. “Well, do you think she’d notice if we just picked some flowers and stuck them in a bush?”
Another shrug.
“You are absolutely no help, Merlin. Go pick some bloody flowers.” Arthur waved him off in disgust.
So the both of them had attempted to make a shrubbery. Merlin had found some straggly-looking wildflowers and Arthur had snipped the lower, shorter parts of the surrounding foliage. Arthur had also come up with the brilliant idea to put it all together with mud. The resulting mess was what he was currently holding out to the woman with a proud smile on his face.
Arthur and Merlin watched the woman’s face go through a multitude of shades of red before her mouth opened and she screeched, “This isn’t a shrubbery! This is a bunch of puny, half-dead flowers crammed into a leafy ball of mud!”
Arthur felt a prick against his pride; he had made the effort to make it somewhat pretty. He’d refused to put the sickly yellowish flowers into the mass. All might have ended well – if Arthur had swallowed his pride and not let his temper get the best of him. “Now see here, woman. I’ve spent more time than was warranted traipsing around the forest trying to find you your silly shrubbery. I don’t even know what the bloody hell a shrubbery has to do with a dire dilemma anyway. If you want a bloody shrubbery so bloody badly, you can bloody well go find one yourself.”
Arthur did back up a step and bump into Merlin as the woman’s face went a particularly bright shade of fuchsia. The colour spread from her face, quickly colouring any visible bits of the old woman’s skin. Arthur turned to give Merlin a worried look – which was mirrored on Merlin’s own face – before turning his head around quickly at the loud BANG. A cloud of smoke had taken the place of the hag; clearing quickly to show that the old woman was now a young woman. A young woman with glittery gold hair and slanted blue eyes and... Arthur blinked. Were her ears pointed? Yes, yes they were. He heard Merlin gasp behind him.
“Arthur Pendragon, you pretentious little toad. How dare you speak to me in such a tone, you impudent little pile of frog spit. Have you no respect for your betters?” The woman in front of him was practically crackling with rage.
“What manner of sorcery is this?” Arthur gaped.
Merlin coughed and prodded him from behind. “Not sorcery, sire. I believe she’s a, um, a faerie.”
The faerie in question nodded at Merlin. “Precisely, youngling. And your master has caused me a grievous insult.” Turning her intense gaze back on Arthur, she smiled; an action that was turned wicked by the malice in her eyes. “I believe I will return the favour.”
Three things happened simultaneously; the faerie raised her arm to cast a spell, Arthur stepped back and conveniently tripped and Merlin raised his hand in a mimicry of her gesture and moved in front of Arthur. There was a loud explosion accompanied by a blinding flash of light. Arthur was stunned as he lay on the ground, blinking rapidly to try to clear his vision. As the spots gradually faded, he was aware of the absence of the malicious fey. He was also aware of the absence of his servant. Looking quickly around, he still couldn’t see a sign of anyone other than him. “Merlin?” Arthur tentatively called out.
“Mrowr.” The call came from his feet. Looking down, Arthur frowned at the sleek black cat staring back at him.
“Merlin, this isn’t funny. Wherever you’re hiding, come out now.” Arthur ordered.
The cat walked up his side, climbing into his lap and resting a paw on his chest. “Mrowr.” It blinked large, dark blue eyes at him. Eyes that were the same shade as Merlin’s, if Arthur remembered correctly. It flicked overly-large ears at him, not taking its gaze from Arthur’s.
“Nice kitty.” Arthur gave it a half-hearted pet. “I don’t know where you came from, but I need to go find my completely inept and idiotic servant.”
The cat growled and flattened its ears.
Arthur blinked. Then he really looked at the cat. Its fur was the same colour as Merlin’s hair. It had the same colour eyes. It had the largest ears Arthur had ever seen on a cat. It was bordering on scraggly, its ribs outlined on its sleek sides... “Oh you have got to be kidding me.” Arthur said, lifting a hand to rub at his face.
Maybe if he closed his eyes and counted to three, Merlin would reappear. Maybe he’d actually fallen and hit his head and this was a strange hallucination. Maybe he was still sleeping and hadn’t actually left Camelot at all that day. If that was the case, he was going to make sure to avoid any and all elderly or sparkly women today. Peeking through his fingers, he saw the cat still sitting on his lap, head tilted to the side as it continued to stare at him.
“Merlin?” Arthur asked, hoping to God that he was wrong about his assumption.
“Mrowr.” The cat pressed a paw against Arthur’s chest again.
“Bloody hell.” Arthur muttered.
The cat - Merlin - tapped him with his paw again before stepping back onto the ground. He sat and curled his tail around himself, looking expectantly up at Arthur.
“What?” Arthur got to his feet, dusting himself off and still looking around hopefully for Merlin to pop out from behind a tree. He was almost desperate to see an unruly mop of dark hair and a ridiculously cheerful grin. He was denied.
Merlin continued to sit and stare up at Arthur, as if to say, “Well now, you got me into this mess, I fully expect you to get me out of it. Right now, thank you very much.” Arthur made a note that cat-Merlin had much better grammar and articulation than regular-Merlin. Cat-Merlin was also somehow bossier. Arthur decided to mull over that later.
“Don’t look at me like that. This isn’t my fault. It’s her fault.” Arthur folded his arms and stared back at Merlin. “Besides, if you hadn’t stepped in the way, you wouldn’t presently be sitting here covered in fur, would you?” Arthur said, smugly.
Merlin’s ear flicked and he blinked slowly at Arthur. Arthur could actually hear, “Ass,” in those two gestures.
Guilt started to settle in Arthur’s stomach as he continued to have a staring contest with Merlin. Per the usual outcome when involving oneself in this activity with a cat, Merlin won. Arthur sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Would Gaius know how to fix this?”
Merlin tilted his head to the side. “Mrrr.”
“Well, it’s the only suggestion I have. Unless you’d prefer to scour the woods and see if you can find the faerie and somehow convince her to change you back. Which I’m sure would be impossible, seeing how she seems to be severely mentally afflicted – even more so than you.” Arthur walked over to the horses and prepared to mount.
“Mrowr.”
Arthur stopped and looked down at Merlin. “What?”
Merlin actually shook his head in what Arthur could only assume was disgust. Then he walked up to Arthur’s horse and made a leap, barely reaching the stirrup.
“Oh.” Arthur felt a blush stain his cheeks as he realised that Merlin wasn’t capable of mounting his own horse. In fact, Merlin wasn’t capable of being Merlin right now. What was he supposed to say to anyone who asked? ‘Oh hello, lovely day isn’t it? By the way, my manservant is now a cat. Please don’t tell my father, he might have him neutered.’
Arthur leant against his horse and looked back down at Merlin. “We’re going to have to come up with an excuse as to why you’re not returning with me, unless you want everyone to find out you’re now...” Arthur gestured at Merlin, “that. We should probably only let Gaius know, unless you’d like to try to live down being a pretty little pussy cat for the rest of your life.”
Merlin hissed and lashed his tail.
“That’s what I thought.” Arthur rubbed the back of his head as he thought. “We could always say you went to Ealdor for... however long you need to be there. That’s believable, isn’t it?”
Merlin blinked again before giving a slow nod.
“Right. Then let’s get back and see about returning you to normal. You still haven’t finished polishing my armour or mending my riding boots.”
Merlin snorted. Arthur detected a hint of, “Prat,” to the snort.
Arthur bent and reached for Merlin. Merlin danced out of the way. “What now? I have to pick you up if you want on the horse. Unless you’d like to walk the whole way back...” Arthur arched a brow.
Merlin’s eyes locked on Arthur’s for a brief moment before he walked over to his waiting hands, sniffing them before allowing himself to be lifted and held under Arthur’s arm. Arthur managed to mount one-handed and settled himself in the saddle. He placed Merlin in the gap between his legs and the saddle horn. Merlin’s claws sunk into the leather as Arthur directed his horse over the head of Merlin’s; lifting the reins up and draping them over the horse’s neck, giving the command for the horse to follow his.
Arthur and Merlin made their way back to Camelot, Arthur keeping one hand resting on Merlin’s diminished form to prevent him from being thrown. Merlin hunkered down low and clung to the leather, eyes wide and ears flat against his skull. “I thought you liked riding, Merlin,” Arthur teased.
Merlin’s head swivelled around and his lips pulled back to bare his teeth.
“Poor Merlin,” Arthur said, fingers stroking the fur between his ears. Merlin’s eyes closed and he leant into the touch. Arthur chuckled, adding it to a list of things he’d be sure to use to tease and mock Merlin for later. The ears were definitely at the top. Arthur’s fingers moved over to scratch behind one. He felt the rumble of Merlin purring against his thigh. The feeling was far from unpleasant, but Arthur stopped his petting; the realisation that he was stroking Merlin as he lay between his thighs sort of putting a damper on the moment.
~
They arrived back at Camelot just before dark. Arthur rode into the courtyard, dismounting with Merlin tucked under his right arm. Merlin’s claws dug in lightly through his tunic. A groom came and gathered the reins from both horses, heading for the stables while Arthur made his way into the castle. “You’ll see,” he said to Merlin, “Gaius will know what to do and you’ll be back to yourself in time to go to bed, lazy sod that you are.”
Merlin’s claws pricked his skin, just enough to make Arthur aware of them.
Arthur shifted his hold and disentangled Merlin’s claws from his tunic. “Now, now, Merlin. You know the penalty for drawing blood from a royal.” He tapped Merlin’s nose.
Merlin growled and batted at the finger, glaring at Arthur as if to say, “That rule has no reign over felines, for we are above your silly laws and can do whatever we want, royal prat.”
Arthur continued to walk briskly, smirking down at the irate cat. “You know, I could just decide to give you your monthly bath now. I’m sure there’s a conveniently placed bucket of water around here somewhere...”
Merlin growled and his pupils enlarged as he continued to glare at Arthur. Arthur heard, “I bloody well dare you. We’ll see how much of that royal blood I can spill.” Arthur decided that no matter what form Merlin was in, the narrative would always be impertinent and vaguely treasonous. Arthur preferred him that way, although he wasn’t about to admit it.
Taking the stairs to Gaius’s quarters, Arthur reached the door and bent to place Merlin on the floor. Knocking loudly, he waited for Gaius to answer. He heard the bustling of someone moving inside, then the door was opened and Gaius’s face appeared, a brow cocked in question. “Can I help you, sire?”
Arthur nudged Merlin with his foot, pushing him through the door. “I don’t believe I’m the one that needs the help, Gaius.” Merlin entered the room and leapt up on the bench, then to the table top. He curled his tail around himself as he eyed both men.
Gaius’s brow cocked again, this time in confusion. “You have a cat? Your cat needs help?” Arthur could sense a concern for his mental state in the tone.
“Notice anything familiar about that cat, Gaius.” Arthur walked over to the table and smirked down at Merlin.
Gaius looked the cat over, still confused. His nose wrinkled slightly. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that cat before, sire.”
“Doesn’t the colour of his fur remind you of someone? Maybe the colour of his eyes? Or the fact that he’s nothing but skin and bone? I figured the ears alone would have been a big enough clue. Maybe if he decides to trip over something...”
Merlin’s tail lashed again as he growled at Arthur.
Gaius’s eyes volleyed between Arthur and the cat before his jaw dropped. “Merlin?”
“Mrowr.”
Gaius walked over and looked down at the cat in shock. He dropped heavily onto the bench and Merlin came over and mewed in concern. “What happened?” Gaius asked no one in particular.
“A faerie. An angry, crazy faerie lady. She wanted some type of bloody shrubbery and wasn’t satisfied with what we got her and had a hissy fit. She was aiming at me, but of course, Merlin got in the way.” Arthur waved his hand to indicate his manservant – catservant? – as if that was supposed to explain it all.
“A faerie turned Merlin into a cat?” Gaius’s jaw seemed to be residing somewhere near the floor. He turned and gaped at Merlin, then turned his head and sneezed into his sleeve. “A faerie? They don’t normally bother with mortals.”
“I did say crazy. She was definitely crazy.” Arthur turned to leave.
“Sire!” Gaius rose quickly to his feet, accompanied by a sneeze.
“What?”
“You have to take him with you.” Gaius pushed Merlin tentatively with his hand.
“What? Why?” Arthur frowned.
Another sneeze. “I’m allergic to cats, sire. I can’t research how to fix this if I can’t see and I’m constantly sneezing.” This was followed by another sneeze.
Merlin jumped off the table and walked over to the door, giving Gaius some space. He looked woefully at Arthur. Arthur felt the beginning of a headache starting. Sighing, he flung his arms up. “Fine, I’ll take him. Maybe he can make use of himself by finally getting rid of the mice in my room.” Walking over to the door, he turned back to Gaius. “I’ll come back to check on your progress in the morning. I expect this to be a priority, Gaius.”
Gaius muffled another sneeze while he nodded. “Of course, sire.” Looking down at Merlin he smiled. “We’ll have you to rights in no time, Merlin. Try to stay out of trouble until then.”
Merlin gave a short nod and waited for Arthur to precede him to his chambers. Arthur gave a much put upon sigh and began the trek to his quarters. He snagged a servant along the way and requested dinner to be brought to him as well as making sure someone would bring him breakfast in the morning, since his own servant was currently incapable of both tasks. Arthur pictured Merlin either dropping a dead mouse in front of him as a meal or trying to drag a food-laden tray through the castle. Neither idea appealed to him.
Arthur grumbled as he constantly had to stop and wait for passing servants to stop petting and coddling Merlin, who seemed to be enjoying the attention far too much. “Merlin...” Arthur said, eyes narrowed.
Guinevere, who had been coming up the corridor behind Arthur, stopped and smiled as she bent to pet a loudly purring Merlin. “Merlin? You named him after Merlin? I’m betting he’s overjoyed about that, sire.”
Arthur blinked as he realised his mistake. “Um, yes. Well, to be fair, he does resemble him.”
Guinevere cocked her head to the side as she scratched under Merlin’s up-tilted chin. “I suppose you’re right. It’s the eyes.” Gwen smiled as Merlin bumped her hand with the top of his head. “Speaking of Merlin, where is he? I haven’t seen him since you both left this morning.”
“He asked to visit his mother in Ealdor. So that’s where he is. In Ealdor. Visiting.”
“On such short notice?” Gwen’s eyebrows did a decent impression of Gaius’s disbelieving arch.
Arthur coughed. “No, I knew about it. Before. I mean, before today. I just hadn’t bothered to tell anyone.” Arthur began backing up towards his room. “Come along, Merlin.”
Merlin closed his eyes and leant into Gwen’s pets.
Arthur gritted his teeth. “Merlin.”
Merlin turned and showed Arthur his arse, tail in the air as he rubbed against Guinevere’s hand.
“There’s food in my chambers, Merlin.”
Merlin’s ears pricked up and he scampered over to Arthur, mewling. He purred as he wound his way around Arthur’s legs.
“Of course, now you hear me...” Arthur grumbled as he bent down to scoop Merlin up into his arms. “I’ll have no more deterrents because of you. Good night, Guinevere.” He nodded briefly before turning and heading for the safety of his chambers, Merlin in his arms.
He finally managed to make it to his quarters, absently scratching Merlin’s head as he pondered and walked. Entering his chambers, he closed the door with his foot and headed for the table. Merlin leapt from his arms, landing by the laden platter. Curling his tail around his feet, Merlin sat and stared unblinkingly at Arthur from beside the tray.
“I suppose this is your way of asking politely for the privilege of eating from my tray.” Arthur smiled as he lifted a piece of cheese from the tray to his mouth. Dark blue eyes continued to stare at him as he chewed slowly. “I’m only allowing this because I’d rather not see you pathetically trying to catch a mouse, like you should.”
Arthur selected two of the thicker cuts of roast and set them on the table in front of Merlin. “Mrowr,” Merlin purred before attacking the meat.
“You’re welcome. It’s amazing how much your manners improve when you can’t talk.” Arthur settled into his chair and ate, sliding another piece of meat and a chunk of cheese in front of Merlin when he’d finished the first two slices.
He let his mind wander as he watched Merlin daintily pick at his food, a smile on his face when Merlin started licking his paws and swiping them over his muzzle. “I believe that’s the first time I’ve seen you willingly wash yourself without having to be badgered.” Arthur chose to ignore the pointed glare being cast his way by an irritated feline. It would have been silly for a grown man to be afraid of a scraggly, half-starved cat. Very silly. Arthur kept a wary eye on the claws peeking through the black fur as Merlin continued his grooming. Arthur was more than a little impressed at the flexibility that allowed Merlin to clean himself... everywhere.
“You know, you could wait until you’re in private to do that.” Arthur pointedly looked at the door and told himself he was not blushing. He turned back to Merlin at the derogative sounding snort. There was a particular tilt to Merlin’s head and a gleam in his eye that Arthur knew was Merlin implying that Arthur was jealous of his current abilities. Arthur gave a snort of his own. “Hardly.”
Merlin’s mouth opened in what could only be the feline version of his face-splitting grin. Purring, he moved to the edge of the table closest to Arthur and sat in a somewhat regal manner, tail tip curling slowly as he eyed up Arthur. “So, what to do with you now? I’m confident that Gaius will come up with a way to turn you back, but until then...” Arthur trailed off as Merlin leapt from the table to his lap.
The purring got louder as Merlin shoved his face under Arthur’s chin and started rubbing his head against him. Arthur took this as cat-Merlin speak for, “Shut up and pet me, silly man-child.”
Grinning, Arthur brought his hand up to scratch around the enormous ears that swivelled back and out of the way. “You know, Merlin, you’re awfully pushy for a servant.” Arthur felt a quick sweep of a rough tongue against his cheek before Merlin sank down and curled up on his lap, purring furiously.
Merlin peeked through eyes slit in pleasure at Arthur clearly stating, “But I’m not a servant, sire... you are. Now hush your silly human prattling and continue petting me.” Arthur just chuckled and continued to stroke the silky furball resting on his lap. Merlin’s purring had an unexpectedly soothing effect on him and Arthur soon found himself drowsing.
Arthur’s head jerked up as he snapped himself awake. “That’s it. Time for bed.” He scooped up Merlin’s pliant form from his lap and carried him over to the bed. “You can sleep at the foot of it... like a good pet.”
Merlin flicked his tail, but remained silent.
Arthur shucked off his clothes and pulled on a pair of sleep pants. Lifting the blanket and climbing into bed, he looked down at Merlin, who hadn’t moved a whisker since being put down. “Good night, Merlin. Here’s to Gaius having a cure in the morning.”
Laying his head on his pillow, Arthur heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. He smiled as he felt Merlin creep softly up the bed, settling in the curve of Arthur’s arms. “A whole five minutes of following orders. I’m impressed.”
Merlin’s purring grew louder as he shifted closer against Arthur, who didn’t have the energy or desire to force him to move. Arthur fell asleep to the feeling of a bundle of warmth against his chest and the rumbling of Merlin’s purring resonating throughout him.
~
Arthur woke with the sun slanting through the window and hitting him in the eyes. “Merlin,” he grumbled, “close the curtain.”
“Mrrrr.” The reply came from the vicinity of his chest.
Arthur’s eyes flew open as the events of the previous day flashed in his mind, soon to be closed quickly as the pain of the bright light seared them. Looking down, he saw the ball of black fur regarding him sleepily. “Still a cat, I see.”
Merlin stretched a paw up and batted it lightly at Arthur’s chin.
“Don’t play cute with me. I think you’re glad of an excuse to get out of your chores for another day.” Arthur brought his hand up and poked at the outstretched paw.
Merlin’s claws came out and he snagged Arthur’s finger, dragging it down to let him latch his other paw around it. Curling up, he playfully nipped at it before licking the small bite better. Arthur dropped his hand onto the soft underbelly fur and wriggled his fingers. Merlin squirmed, stretching himself out to give Arthur better access.
“You’re ridiculous.” Arthur stroked Merlin’s nose before lifting his hand away, ignoring the desire to keep rubbing the soft fur presented to him. “Up now. Breakfast beckons.”
That had Merlin springing up and leaping over to the table. He looked plaintively over at Arthur in a manner that said, “You lied, there’s no breakfast here and now I’m going to sta-a-a-arve to death.”
Arthur chuckled as he untied the laces of his sleep pants and let them drop to the floor. He was surprised at how he suddenly felt self-conscious of the way Merlin’s gaze pinned him. He quickly grabbed clean clothes and stepped behind the changing screen. He’d almost forgotten that cat-Merlin was the same person who managed to make his stomach flutter strangely whenever he was partially dressed around him. Not that Merlin gawked or anything, but there was a certain awareness to his look, or his lack of looking.
Stepping out from behind the screen, he strode over to the door and opened it – seeing a serving girl standing at the wall with a full platter. “How long have you been there?” Arthur asked.
The girl blushed and dropped her gaze. “Not long, sire.”
Arthur didn’t believe the lie. “Well, bring it in and put it on the table.”
The girl kept her eyes down as she quickly edged around the door and made her way over to the table. She spotted Merlin as she put her tray down. “Oh, darling. What a lovely dear you are,” she crooned as she held her fingers out to him.
Merlin promptly hurried over to her to allow himself to be petted and worshiped in the manner that all felines deserve.
Arthur just rolled his eyes and settled into his chair, clamping his mouth on the need to tell the serving girl to stop touching his cat. He pulled off a couple of the thick ham steak slices and placed them on the table. “Breakfast,” he said through a mouthful of bread.
Merlin gave the girl one last nudge with his head before moving over to start his dainty picking. “He’s beautiful, sire.” The girl gazed at Merlin with soft eyes before realising she’d addressed Arthur. A blush quickly spread and before Arthur could say anything, she bobbed a quick curtsy and fled.
Raising a brow, he looked over at Merlin. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was afraid of me.
Merlin looked up from his meal. He cocked his head at Arthur, looked over at the door, then back to Arthur. His mouth cracked open in what Arthur was quickly learning was a cat’s equivalent of a grin.
“What do you know that I don’t?” Arthur narrowed his eyes.
Merlin stretched his neck, giving Arthur’s hand a reassuring lick before settling back into his breakfast.
“I fully expect you to explain this to me when you’re back to yourself.” Arthur left the implied threat hanging in the air as he finished up his food. “Hurry up, I want to go check with Gaius.”
As only a cat can, Merlin ignored the human and ate at his own pace; slowly licking the greasy residue from around his mouth.
As only a frustrated cat-owner can, Arthur ignored the angry yowl as he lifted Merlin from the table and dropped him onto the floor. He headed over to the door and opened it, watching Merlin become a black streak as he bolted through the corridor. “Now he moves fast.” Shaking his head, Arthur made his way to the physician’s quarters.
When he got there, Merlin was occupied with cleaning his bits again; blatantly displaying his agility to the annoyed human prince. “I definitely think you’re due for a visit to the stocks again.” Arthur grumbled as he lifted his hand and knocked loudly.
“Come in, sire.” Gaius’s voice was muffled through the wood. Arthur opened the door and stepped through, followed by Merlin – who kept himself near the door and away from Gaius.
“Good news, I hope.” Arthur smiled at the physician. His smile dropped at the weary look on Gaius’s face.
“I’m afraid not, sire. There’s nothing in here that tells of how to undo a fairy curse.” Gaius pulled his spectacles off and placed them on the table, rubbing at his eyes.
Arthur frowned. “So I’m to have a cat as a servant forever?”
“Well, that’s the silver lining – so to speak. Fairy curses can’t be lifted by anyone but a fairy; though they don’t tend to be long-lived.”
“Meaning?” Arthur waved Gaius on.
“Meaning that it will wear off soon enough on its own.” Gaius smiled over at Merlin.
“Define ‘soon’.” Arthur folded his arms and levelled a stare at Gaius.
Gaius didn’t meet the stare. “The shortest recorded event was a few hours.”
“That obviously isn’t the case here.” Arthur had an uneasy feeling in his stomach. “What’s the longest recorded event?”
Gaius’s eyes couldn’t meet Arthur’s. “A year.”
Arthur gaped. “A year? A year? I can’t have a catservant for a year!”
Gaius stood and closed the book in front of him. “It might not be a year, sire. It could only be a month. Or two.”
Arthur threw his hands up and groaned. “Well that’s just wonderful. Isn’t that wonderful, Merlin?” he directed to the cat by the door.
Merlin blinked at Arthur, looked at Gaius, blinked again then let out the longest and most piteous yowl either man had ever heard.
“Now Merlin, it’s not that bad.” Gaius walked over to comfort him, only to stop halfway there to sneeze – which only made Merlin yowl louder.
Arthur walked over and lifted Merlin into his arms. “Enough of that now. Gaius is right, it’s not that bad.”
Merlin dug claws into the fabric of Arthur’s tunic and tucked himself under his chin. Arthur pet him gently. Looking over at Gaius, Arthur lifted his brows in a question. “I’m afraid that all I can suggest is waiting, sire. It will wear off when it’s run its course.”
Arthur’s fingers sifted through fur until he found skin, scratching softly and soothingly. “Then that’s what we’ll do.” Taking a deep breath, Arthur moved Merlin so he could look him in the eye. “We’ll wait and when you’re back, you’ll go in the stocks for all the impudence and evil cat-things I’m sure you’ll have done by then.”
Merlin sniffed, blue eyes moist.
“Either way,” Arthur tucked Merlin back against his chest, “I have rounds to do today, since I haven’t been fortunate enough to have been struck down with a case of ‘cat’. Gaius,” he nodded in his direction before turning for the door.
Making his way back to his chambers, he continued to talk to Merlin. “Think of it this way, how many servants get to have a vacation while hanging out with their masters? And at least you’re my cat and not the cat of a guard or servant. This way, we may manage to put some meat on those bones.”
Arthur dropped Merlin as he entered his room and made his way over to his wardrobe where he shrugged into his long over coat. Looking down at Merlin as he adjusted his sword belt, he asked, “I suppose expecting you to follow orders and stay here while you’re a cat is as futile as expecting it when you’re human, hmm?”
Merlin met him at the door and began winding his way through Arthur’s legs, purring loudly. Arthur took that as, “Clearly I’m going wherever you’re going.”
Arthur sighed. “That’s what I thought. Well, come on then.” Opening the door, Arthur stepped out. Merlin matched his speed and stayed close to his side. “Try not to do anything to get yourself in more trouble while we’re out.”
Merlin quickened his pace, tail flagged high in what was clearly feline for, “Nothing that happens is ever my fault and how dare you insinuate such, you... you... human.”
They arrived at the gate without Arthur having to detour any servants from distracting Merlin. He also ignored the raised brow from Leon. The round of the lower town was relatively uneventful – if you don’t take into account the Crown Prince of Camelot getting into a heated altercation with a six year old girl.
~
As Arthur and his knights made their way through the streets of Camelot, they were hailed and welcomed by merchants and villagers alike. Arthur attempted to make conversation with the more genial merchants, leaving them with a smile and a hearty hand clasp. Merlin followed, sometimes getting distracted by the odd tantalising scent or sound. A few merchants noticed the black cat following the prince – they also noticed the prince waiting for or talking to the cat. A few of the clucking townswomen put their heads together to gossip over the fact; each saying that it was about time that the boy had his own pet.
Arthur and the men had finished their rounds, finding nothing wrong or out of the ordinary. They were heading back when the pastry merchant beckoned them over, smiling as he offered each man a fresh, hot berry pie. Arthur was about to gratefully sink his teeth into the delicious-smelling pie when he was distracted by a strangled yowl. Looking down, he saw Merlin was absent from the circle of him and his men. Frowning, he looked around, eyes darting as they searched for a lanky black form. He heard the strangled mewl again and honed in on Merlin, who was currently in the clutches of a small girl.
Cats may be adept at getting out of tight places and into unreachable zones, but small girls have their own ability of holding onto small animals in such a way as to make escape impossible. So Merlin hung in her grasp; a small, pudgy arm latched under his forepaws which were lifted up over his head. Merlin cast huge, pleading eyes at Arthur as he attempted to let out another meow – which came out as a strangled “Rrrw.”
Setting his pie down, he made his way over to his captive catservant. “There you are, Merlin. Come along now,” he said, mainly for the young girl’s benefit.
The girl in question turned large brown eyes to Arthur, tightening her hold on her captive. Merlin made a squeak of discomfort. “Blackie don’t want to go with you.” A second arm joined the first in clutching Merlin to her chest.
“Well, girl, ‘Blackie’ is really my cat, Merlin, and I’d like him back now so I can go.” Arthur stepped closer, worried now about the small pants coming from Merlin.
“S’not your cat. S’my cat and his name’s Blackie.” The girl stuck out her lower lip and glared up at Arthur.
“Listen here, that is my cat and I’m telling you to let him go right this instant.” Arthur forced his voice to come out quietly. He didn’t notice the stilling of the crowd around him as passersby slowed to watch.
The girl shifted Merlin away from Arthur, jaw setting mulishly. “Get your own cat. S’my cat!”
“I have my own cat. It’s the one you’re strangling. Now hand him over.” Arthur reached for Merlin.
“NO! S’MY CAT!” the girl shrieked before kicking him in the shin.
Arthur growled and made to grab the girl, stopping when a loud voice carried over the crowd. “Here, here. What’s all this?” A large matronly woman pushed through the throng of the watching villagers.
“S’my cat, Ma. He’s tryin’ to take him.” The girl dragged Merlin over to her mother.
Arthur refrained from calling the girl a liar and met the gaze of her mother. “Your daughter seems to have mistaken my cat for hers, madam.”
The girl’s mother flustered for a moment as she recognized Camelot’s prince. Looking down at her daughter, she saw the black cat struggling futilely to get away. Her daughter lifted her face and stared up at her with a glint that she recognised all too well. “Surely, sire,” she asked, “you wouldn’t begrudge my daughter the love of a pet?”
“I wouldn’t if your daughter had chosen a pet that wasn’t already claimed. And I can assure you that I’m quite attached to my cat.”
“S’MY CAT!” The girl screeched again. Merlin’s ears flattened to his skull at the volume and vicinity of the yell.
The mother fought between wanting to give into her daughter’s demands and wanting to stay on the good side of the royal family. “Milly,” she said to the girl, “why don’t you give Prince Arthur back his cat?”
Milly continued to glare at Arthur. “He’s not the prince. The prince is bigger and has a crown. And he don’t got no cat.”
Arthur lifted a hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. Merlin’s mewls gave him an idea. “Here’s a thought – how about you let him go and whoever he goes to is who he belongs to.”
Milly’s glare became vitriolic. Her mother leapt at the idea. “That sounds wonderful. Milly,” she prodded her daughter, “Milly put the cat down.”
“But Ma...” she whined.
“Down.” Her mother’s mouth firmed into a line.
Sighing, Milly let go of Merlin with one hand, kneeling on the ground. She kept a hold of his tail as she let go with her other hand. “See? He’s mine!”
Merlin was quite through with coddling the girl and turned to hiss at her. She fell back on her rear, Merlin’s tail slipping from her grasp. Arthur registered a black blur before he was hit in the chest with a puffed up bundle of fur. Merlin shoved his nose into the crook of Arthur’s neck, claws digging through and pricking small beads of blood. Arthur bit back a curse, instead turning to smile at the mother. “I think this has been settled satisfactorily.”
The mother heaved a relieved sigh and bent down to help her daughter up. Milly walked over, tiny fists clenched tight. She stopped at Arthur’s feet and glared up at him. Merlin started shivering and clung tighter. “I don’t like you.”
Arthur looked down at her. “At the moment, the feeling’s mutual.”
Milly wrinkled her nose. Then a malicious gleam lit her eyes as she stuck her tongue out at Arthur, letting out a loud, “Thbthbthbthbthbt!” before kicking him in the shin again and running off into the crowd.
Arthur straightened his spine and tried to hide the hobble as he made his way through the ring of knights at his back. He chose to ignore the hands covering grins or the badly disguised chuckles. “I believe we’re done here.” Leon nodded, a smile in his eyes if not on his face, and ordered the knights back to the castle. Arthur kept a tight hold on Merlin the entire way back, biting back a laugh as Merlin decided that the best way to thank Arthur for rescuing him was to give his neck a thorough tongue bath.
Arriving at the castle, Arthur ordered for another meal to be brought to his room, as well as a bath. He continued to pet Merlin as he waited for his bath to be filled with heated water. As the last bucket was dumped into the basin, the servant with his meal arrived. For once, Merlin ignored the food in lieu of continuing to nuzzle Arthur. The strange feeling in Arthur’s stomach returned. He attributed it to being hungry. As the servants closed the door on their way out, Arthur said, “Unless you feel like getting wet, I suggest you eat while I bathe.”
Merlin trilled a meow and landed on the table. Arthur again pulled off a portion for Merlin before heading behind the changing screen. He emerged with a drying cloth wrapped around him and headed for the gently steaming bath. Setting his jaw, he ignored Merlin as he dropped the cloth and sank down into the depths of the heated water. “Oh lord yes, that’s wonderful.” He closed his eyes and let his head tip back until it was resting on the rim of the tub.
Rolling his head to the side, Arthur cracked his eyes to look over at Merlin – who was forgoing eating for staring at Arthur with an unrecognisable look in his eyes. Arthur wasn’t sure if that was due to the human-cat crossover or if it was something else. Something to do with the awareness he’d been noticing. “Eat your food, Merlin.”
Merlin blinked slowly before dipping his head to begin eating, eyes never leaving Arthur. Arthur felt the heat from the water in a flash over his body, the warmth moving down his chest and pooling in his lower stomach. He could almost feel a physical touch as Merlin’s eyes moved from his face to his neck, down to his chest, stopping only because of the barrier of the wooden basin. “It’s very difficult for me to relax when you’re ogling me, Merlin.” Arthur tried to keep his tone casual.
Merlin lifted his head and gave Arthur his cat-grin before getting up and moving so his back was to Arthur. He went back to finishing his dinner. Arthur watched the rhythmic sway of Merlin’s tail, feeling the day seep out into the water. As it chilled, he turned his attention to his own hunger; lifting himself from the tub and quickly wrapping the drying cloth around him in case Merlin decided to resume his unnerving staring. He changed behind the screen again; coming out to sit down and eat. Merlin had finished by then and decided that while Arthur ate, he could also pet Merlin as he curled up on his lap. Arthur did, finding it soothing as it let his mind drift. He began to consider what he would have to do with cat-Merlin as opposed to normal-Merlin. Not that there was anything normal about Merlin... ever.
Merlin yawned, his mouth opening wide enough for Arthur to get a good glimpse of the row of sharp teeth. “I agree, time for bed.” Merlin jumped down and Arthur got up to call a servant in to remove the tub. When the door was closed and barred and the fire banked for the night, Arthur went around and blew out the candles. Darkness folded into the room, making it difficult for Arthur to see Merlin. “Where are you? I don’t want to step on you. Not that it wouldn’t be your own fault if I did.”
“Mrowr,” came from the bed.
Arthur made his way over to the bed and saw a small circle of black against the white of his pillows. “You’re not going to sleep at the foot of the bed, are you.” Arthur made it a statement.
Merlin blinked back at him. Arthur was amazed at how much you could get across with only a small movement of the eyes. “Right, well, move over.” Arthur lifted the blanket and slid onto the bed.
Merlin waited until he was settled before padding over and curling up against his chest. He started purring before he lay down. Arthur lifted a hand and scratched the gap between the enormous ears. Merlin shifted until he could nuzzle up against Arthur’s neck. Sighing contentedly, Arthur lifted his chin to give Merlin better access. He fell asleep to the rhythmic rumblings and warm breath of Merlin against his neck.
~
Arthur woke to the steady sound of Merlin’s purring against his chest. He felt a nudge on his chin and sleepily shifted it, allowing Merlin’s lips more room to nibble against his flesh. The arm wound around his waist tugged him closer, the leg between his sliding up higher. Arthur let out a breathy moan as the thigh reached his groin and Arthur began to rock against it. He could feel the press of hardened flesh against his leg and it sent a flash of heat through him. The lips on his neck moved to his jaw, little nips being accompanied by soft kisses...
Arthur’s eyes snapped open. Mouth? Arms? Lifting his head, he looked down to see a sleepy Merlin – a sleepy human Merlin – smiling up at him as he moved his hand down from Arthur’s back to his arse, cupping it and using it to pull Arthur against his leg; a leg that was moving in such a way as to make Arthur start rutting against it – even as he fought to think clearly. “You’re back,” he said.
“Nothing gets past you.” Merlin grinned and returned to nuzzling and nipping at Arthur’s neck.
Arthur continued to feel the rumbling against his chest, slowly realising what it was. “You’re purring.”
“Again, you are the master of the obvious.” Merlin shifted, pulling Arthur as he rolled onto his back. Arthur complied, moving so that his groin aligned with Merlin’s.
Arthur rolled his hips and was pleased when the purring increased in volume and Merlin lifted a leg and hooked it around one of Arthur’s. “Humans don’t purr, Merlin.”
Merlin licked his lips and pulled his head back to look at Arthur. “I guess this one does now.” He stilled his motions and just lay there, staring at Arthur. “Is that a problem, sire?”
Arthur tried to stop his body, really he did, but the feelings that were flitting through him were addictive, necessary to him breathing. He ground his crotch against Merlin and lowered his head to nip at Merlin’s jaw. “No. Not at all. Although, we will have a problem if you continue to just lie there, especially since you started this.”
Merlin grinned his grin, which Arthur much preferred in a human form instead of a cat one; bringing a hand up to palm the back of Arthur’s head. Pulling him down, he pressed his lips slowly against Arthur’s, breath caught as he waited.
He didn’t have to wait long. Arthur pressed back, mouth tasting Merlin as Merlin tasted back. Tongues swept over lips and into mouths, dancing together as their bodies began their own dance. Merlin was already naked, having lost his clothes in cat-form, and they both hastened to remove Arthur from his sleep clothes.
It was slow and lazy, cocks rubbing together with hands helping. As they reached their peaks, the rutting became punctuated with Arthur’s gasps and Merlin’s pants. Merlin’s hand tightened around them as he came, Arthur leaning down to nip at a pale shoulder as he followed. Rolling to the side, Arthur lay and let his heart and breathing return to normal. One arm tugged Merlin against him, smiling as his servant and friend came quickly and willingly. The smile widened as he realised Merlin was still purring. “I’m glad you’re back.”
Merlin chuckled through his purring as he nuzzled closer to Arthur. “Me too. Even if now I can’t fit properly in your lap anymore.”
A laugh burst from Arthur’s lips. “You were doing all that cuddling on purpose, you letch.”
“Maybe. But you let me.” Merlin smirked, resuming his purring as he lowered his head and nipped at Arthur’s chest.
Arthur reached down and dragged Merlin up, kissing him enthusiastically. “Now who’s pointing out the obvious?” Merlin smiled and moved to cover his master and lover.
And so Merlin and Arthur slipped into a pairing deeper than history would reveal. But we, my friends, we know the truth of it. Of how Arthur and Merlin’s Faerie Godmother finally brought the two boys together – for we all know that Faerie Godmothers do nothing by accident. Not even turning a warlock into a cat instead of a prince into a toad.
Title: The Prince and his Catservant
Word Count: 8,212
Pairing(s): Arthur/Merlin
Rating: NC-17
Warnings/Spoilers: Made up words like ‘catservant’. Putting words in a cat’s mouth.
Summary: When Arthur’s mouth gets him in trouble with a psychotic faerie, it’s Merlin that has to save him from himself again. Will either of them be able to cope with Merlin’s new situation – and will they be able to reverse it?
Author's Note: While this was fun to write, I blatantly ripped off a small piece of Monty Python’ery. And this whole fic is based on the ridiculous. So enjoy it. Thank you to my beta,
“What is this supposed to be?” said the elderly woman to Arthur in a shriek, crooked walking stick nearly knocking against his head as she flailed it around.
Arthur ducked quickly, steeling himself to not use his manservant as a convenient shield. “It’s a shrubbery. That’s what you asked for, isn’t it?”
Merlin and Arthur had been on their way back from a somewhat successful hunting trip – if the bracers of hare and pheasants were anything to go by. Merlin had sneezed as Arthur was aiming at a lovely doe. He’d barely looked sheepish as he’d apologized when Arthur glared at him after groaning in dismay at the fleeing deer. Arthur thought a few hours in the stocks might leech some of the impertinence from him. He’d been far too lenient with Merlin recently, as evidenced by the lack of respect and the attempts at witty retorts to Arthur’s commands. Such as when Merlin suggested what part of Arthur’s body he could use as a sheath for his freshly polished sword when Arthur ordered it to be re-polished and sharpened.
Regardless, it was on their way back where they’d come across the old woman. She had stopped them as they rode, requesting ‘assistance for a most dire dilemma’. Arthur had agreed to help, if only to get her to stop clinging to his boot and grinning up at him with stained gums that were home to a lonely tooth. Unfortunately, he hadn’t realised he’d signed up to ‘find a shrubbery’. It was supposedly for her daughter’s newlywed home. Not wanting to seem as though the Crown Prince of Camelot didn’t know what a shrubbery was, he refrained from asking. He did, however, drag Merlin with him into the woods to help find a shrubbery, whatever the bloody hell that was. “What the bloody hell is a shrubbery?” Arthur asked.
Merlin shrugged. “Dunno. A small bush?”
Arthur looked over at his servant. “A bush? Why a bush?”
“Well, a small bush is called a shrub, so I would assume it has some relevance to what we’re looking for.”
“Huh. That makes sense. Why in the bloody hell would she want a small bush? Maybe it’s a small, flowering bush. You know... for girls.” Arthur suggested.
Again, Merlin shrugged. “Possibly. But I don’t see any small, flowery bushes.”
Arthur looked around in frustration. “Well, do you think she’d notice if we just picked some flowers and stuck them in a bush?”
Another shrug.
“You are absolutely no help, Merlin. Go pick some bloody flowers.” Arthur waved him off in disgust.
So the both of them had attempted to make a shrubbery. Merlin had found some straggly-looking wildflowers and Arthur had snipped the lower, shorter parts of the surrounding foliage. Arthur had also come up with the brilliant idea to put it all together with mud. The resulting mess was what he was currently holding out to the woman with a proud smile on his face.
Arthur and Merlin watched the woman’s face go through a multitude of shades of red before her mouth opened and she screeched, “This isn’t a shrubbery! This is a bunch of puny, half-dead flowers crammed into a leafy ball of mud!”
Arthur felt a prick against his pride; he had made the effort to make it somewhat pretty. He’d refused to put the sickly yellowish flowers into the mass. All might have ended well – if Arthur had swallowed his pride and not let his temper get the best of him. “Now see here, woman. I’ve spent more time than was warranted traipsing around the forest trying to find you your silly shrubbery. I don’t even know what the bloody hell a shrubbery has to do with a dire dilemma anyway. If you want a bloody shrubbery so bloody badly, you can bloody well go find one yourself.”
Arthur did back up a step and bump into Merlin as the woman’s face went a particularly bright shade of fuchsia. The colour spread from her face, quickly colouring any visible bits of the old woman’s skin. Arthur turned to give Merlin a worried look – which was mirrored on Merlin’s own face – before turning his head around quickly at the loud BANG. A cloud of smoke had taken the place of the hag; clearing quickly to show that the old woman was now a young woman. A young woman with glittery gold hair and slanted blue eyes and... Arthur blinked. Were her ears pointed? Yes, yes they were. He heard Merlin gasp behind him.
“Arthur Pendragon, you pretentious little toad. How dare you speak to me in such a tone, you impudent little pile of frog spit. Have you no respect for your betters?” The woman in front of him was practically crackling with rage.
“What manner of sorcery is this?” Arthur gaped.
Merlin coughed and prodded him from behind. “Not sorcery, sire. I believe she’s a, um, a faerie.”
The faerie in question nodded at Merlin. “Precisely, youngling. And your master has caused me a grievous insult.” Turning her intense gaze back on Arthur, she smiled; an action that was turned wicked by the malice in her eyes. “I believe I will return the favour.”
Three things happened simultaneously; the faerie raised her arm to cast a spell, Arthur stepped back and conveniently tripped and Merlin raised his hand in a mimicry of her gesture and moved in front of Arthur. There was a loud explosion accompanied by a blinding flash of light. Arthur was stunned as he lay on the ground, blinking rapidly to try to clear his vision. As the spots gradually faded, he was aware of the absence of the malicious fey. He was also aware of the absence of his servant. Looking quickly around, he still couldn’t see a sign of anyone other than him. “Merlin?” Arthur tentatively called out.
“Mrowr.” The call came from his feet. Looking down, Arthur frowned at the sleek black cat staring back at him.
“Merlin, this isn’t funny. Wherever you’re hiding, come out now.” Arthur ordered.
The cat walked up his side, climbing into his lap and resting a paw on his chest. “Mrowr.” It blinked large, dark blue eyes at him. Eyes that were the same shade as Merlin’s, if Arthur remembered correctly. It flicked overly-large ears at him, not taking its gaze from Arthur’s.
“Nice kitty.” Arthur gave it a half-hearted pet. “I don’t know where you came from, but I need to go find my completely inept and idiotic servant.”
The cat growled and flattened its ears.
Arthur blinked. Then he really looked at the cat. Its fur was the same colour as Merlin’s hair. It had the same colour eyes. It had the largest ears Arthur had ever seen on a cat. It was bordering on scraggly, its ribs outlined on its sleek sides... “Oh you have got to be kidding me.” Arthur said, lifting a hand to rub at his face.
Maybe if he closed his eyes and counted to three, Merlin would reappear. Maybe he’d actually fallen and hit his head and this was a strange hallucination. Maybe he was still sleeping and hadn’t actually left Camelot at all that day. If that was the case, he was going to make sure to avoid any and all elderly or sparkly women today. Peeking through his fingers, he saw the cat still sitting on his lap, head tilted to the side as it continued to stare at him.
“Merlin?” Arthur asked, hoping to God that he was wrong about his assumption.
“Mrowr.” The cat pressed a paw against Arthur’s chest again.
“Bloody hell.” Arthur muttered.
The cat - Merlin - tapped him with his paw again before stepping back onto the ground. He sat and curled his tail around himself, looking expectantly up at Arthur.
“What?” Arthur got to his feet, dusting himself off and still looking around hopefully for Merlin to pop out from behind a tree. He was almost desperate to see an unruly mop of dark hair and a ridiculously cheerful grin. He was denied.
Merlin continued to sit and stare up at Arthur, as if to say, “Well now, you got me into this mess, I fully expect you to get me out of it. Right now, thank you very much.” Arthur made a note that cat-Merlin had much better grammar and articulation than regular-Merlin. Cat-Merlin was also somehow bossier. Arthur decided to mull over that later.
“Don’t look at me like that. This isn’t my fault. It’s her fault.” Arthur folded his arms and stared back at Merlin. “Besides, if you hadn’t stepped in the way, you wouldn’t presently be sitting here covered in fur, would you?” Arthur said, smugly.
Merlin’s ear flicked and he blinked slowly at Arthur. Arthur could actually hear, “Ass,” in those two gestures.
Guilt started to settle in Arthur’s stomach as he continued to have a staring contest with Merlin. Per the usual outcome when involving oneself in this activity with a cat, Merlin won. Arthur sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Would Gaius know how to fix this?”
Merlin tilted his head to the side. “Mrrr.”
“Well, it’s the only suggestion I have. Unless you’d prefer to scour the woods and see if you can find the faerie and somehow convince her to change you back. Which I’m sure would be impossible, seeing how she seems to be severely mentally afflicted – even more so than you.” Arthur walked over to the horses and prepared to mount.
“Mrowr.”
Arthur stopped and looked down at Merlin. “What?”
Merlin actually shook his head in what Arthur could only assume was disgust. Then he walked up to Arthur’s horse and made a leap, barely reaching the stirrup.
“Oh.” Arthur felt a blush stain his cheeks as he realised that Merlin wasn’t capable of mounting his own horse. In fact, Merlin wasn’t capable of being Merlin right now. What was he supposed to say to anyone who asked? ‘Oh hello, lovely day isn’t it? By the way, my manservant is now a cat. Please don’t tell my father, he might have him neutered.’
Arthur leant against his horse and looked back down at Merlin. “We’re going to have to come up with an excuse as to why you’re not returning with me, unless you want everyone to find out you’re now...” Arthur gestured at Merlin, “that. We should probably only let Gaius know, unless you’d like to try to live down being a pretty little pussy cat for the rest of your life.”
Merlin hissed and lashed his tail.
“That’s what I thought.” Arthur rubbed the back of his head as he thought. “We could always say you went to Ealdor for... however long you need to be there. That’s believable, isn’t it?”
Merlin blinked again before giving a slow nod.
“Right. Then let’s get back and see about returning you to normal. You still haven’t finished polishing my armour or mending my riding boots.”
Merlin snorted. Arthur detected a hint of, “Prat,” to the snort.
Arthur bent and reached for Merlin. Merlin danced out of the way. “What now? I have to pick you up if you want on the horse. Unless you’d like to walk the whole way back...” Arthur arched a brow.
Merlin’s eyes locked on Arthur’s for a brief moment before he walked over to his waiting hands, sniffing them before allowing himself to be lifted and held under Arthur’s arm. Arthur managed to mount one-handed and settled himself in the saddle. He placed Merlin in the gap between his legs and the saddle horn. Merlin’s claws sunk into the leather as Arthur directed his horse over the head of Merlin’s; lifting the reins up and draping them over the horse’s neck, giving the command for the horse to follow his.
Arthur and Merlin made their way back to Camelot, Arthur keeping one hand resting on Merlin’s diminished form to prevent him from being thrown. Merlin hunkered down low and clung to the leather, eyes wide and ears flat against his skull. “I thought you liked riding, Merlin,” Arthur teased.
Merlin’s head swivelled around and his lips pulled back to bare his teeth.
“Poor Merlin,” Arthur said, fingers stroking the fur between his ears. Merlin’s eyes closed and he leant into the touch. Arthur chuckled, adding it to a list of things he’d be sure to use to tease and mock Merlin for later. The ears were definitely at the top. Arthur’s fingers moved over to scratch behind one. He felt the rumble of Merlin purring against his thigh. The feeling was far from unpleasant, but Arthur stopped his petting; the realisation that he was stroking Merlin as he lay between his thighs sort of putting a damper on the moment.
They arrived back at Camelot just before dark. Arthur rode into the courtyard, dismounting with Merlin tucked under his right arm. Merlin’s claws dug in lightly through his tunic. A groom came and gathered the reins from both horses, heading for the stables while Arthur made his way into the castle. “You’ll see,” he said to Merlin, “Gaius will know what to do and you’ll be back to yourself in time to go to bed, lazy sod that you are.”
Merlin’s claws pricked his skin, just enough to make Arthur aware of them.
Arthur shifted his hold and disentangled Merlin’s claws from his tunic. “Now, now, Merlin. You know the penalty for drawing blood from a royal.” He tapped Merlin’s nose.
Merlin growled and batted at the finger, glaring at Arthur as if to say, “That rule has no reign over felines, for we are above your silly laws and can do whatever we want, royal prat.”
Arthur continued to walk briskly, smirking down at the irate cat. “You know, I could just decide to give you your monthly bath now. I’m sure there’s a conveniently placed bucket of water around here somewhere...”
Merlin growled and his pupils enlarged as he continued to glare at Arthur. Arthur heard, “I bloody well dare you. We’ll see how much of that royal blood I can spill.” Arthur decided that no matter what form Merlin was in, the narrative would always be impertinent and vaguely treasonous. Arthur preferred him that way, although he wasn’t about to admit it.
Taking the stairs to Gaius’s quarters, Arthur reached the door and bent to place Merlin on the floor. Knocking loudly, he waited for Gaius to answer. He heard the bustling of someone moving inside, then the door was opened and Gaius’s face appeared, a brow cocked in question. “Can I help you, sire?”
Arthur nudged Merlin with his foot, pushing him through the door. “I don’t believe I’m the one that needs the help, Gaius.” Merlin entered the room and leapt up on the bench, then to the table top. He curled his tail around himself as he eyed both men.
Gaius’s brow cocked again, this time in confusion. “You have a cat? Your cat needs help?” Arthur could sense a concern for his mental state in the tone.
“Notice anything familiar about that cat, Gaius.” Arthur walked over to the table and smirked down at Merlin.
Gaius looked the cat over, still confused. His nose wrinkled slightly. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that cat before, sire.”
“Doesn’t the colour of his fur remind you of someone? Maybe the colour of his eyes? Or the fact that he’s nothing but skin and bone? I figured the ears alone would have been a big enough clue. Maybe if he decides to trip over something...”
Merlin’s tail lashed again as he growled at Arthur.
Gaius’s eyes volleyed between Arthur and the cat before his jaw dropped. “Merlin?”
“Mrowr.”
Gaius walked over and looked down at the cat in shock. He dropped heavily onto the bench and Merlin came over and mewed in concern. “What happened?” Gaius asked no one in particular.
“A faerie. An angry, crazy faerie lady. She wanted some type of bloody shrubbery and wasn’t satisfied with what we got her and had a hissy fit. She was aiming at me, but of course, Merlin got in the way.” Arthur waved his hand to indicate his manservant – catservant? – as if that was supposed to explain it all.
“A faerie turned Merlin into a cat?” Gaius’s jaw seemed to be residing somewhere near the floor. He turned and gaped at Merlin, then turned his head and sneezed into his sleeve. “A faerie? They don’t normally bother with mortals.”
“I did say crazy. She was definitely crazy.” Arthur turned to leave.
“Sire!” Gaius rose quickly to his feet, accompanied by a sneeze.
“What?”
“You have to take him with you.” Gaius pushed Merlin tentatively with his hand.
“What? Why?” Arthur frowned.
Another sneeze. “I’m allergic to cats, sire. I can’t research how to fix this if I can’t see and I’m constantly sneezing.” This was followed by another sneeze.
Merlin jumped off the table and walked over to the door, giving Gaius some space. He looked woefully at Arthur. Arthur felt the beginning of a headache starting. Sighing, he flung his arms up. “Fine, I’ll take him. Maybe he can make use of himself by finally getting rid of the mice in my room.” Walking over to the door, he turned back to Gaius. “I’ll come back to check on your progress in the morning. I expect this to be a priority, Gaius.”
Gaius muffled another sneeze while he nodded. “Of course, sire.” Looking down at Merlin he smiled. “We’ll have you to rights in no time, Merlin. Try to stay out of trouble until then.”
Merlin gave a short nod and waited for Arthur to precede him to his chambers. Arthur gave a much put upon sigh and began the trek to his quarters. He snagged a servant along the way and requested dinner to be brought to him as well as making sure someone would bring him breakfast in the morning, since his own servant was currently incapable of both tasks. Arthur pictured Merlin either dropping a dead mouse in front of him as a meal or trying to drag a food-laden tray through the castle. Neither idea appealed to him.
Arthur grumbled as he constantly had to stop and wait for passing servants to stop petting and coddling Merlin, who seemed to be enjoying the attention far too much. “Merlin...” Arthur said, eyes narrowed.
Guinevere, who had been coming up the corridor behind Arthur, stopped and smiled as she bent to pet a loudly purring Merlin. “Merlin? You named him after Merlin? I’m betting he’s overjoyed about that, sire.”
Arthur blinked as he realised his mistake. “Um, yes. Well, to be fair, he does resemble him.”
Guinevere cocked her head to the side as she scratched under Merlin’s up-tilted chin. “I suppose you’re right. It’s the eyes.” Gwen smiled as Merlin bumped her hand with the top of his head. “Speaking of Merlin, where is he? I haven’t seen him since you both left this morning.”
“He asked to visit his mother in Ealdor. So that’s where he is. In Ealdor. Visiting.”
“On such short notice?” Gwen’s eyebrows did a decent impression of Gaius’s disbelieving arch.
Arthur coughed. “No, I knew about it. Before. I mean, before today. I just hadn’t bothered to tell anyone.” Arthur began backing up towards his room. “Come along, Merlin.”
Merlin closed his eyes and leant into Gwen’s pets.
Arthur gritted his teeth. “Merlin.”
Merlin turned and showed Arthur his arse, tail in the air as he rubbed against Guinevere’s hand.
“There’s food in my chambers, Merlin.”
Merlin’s ears pricked up and he scampered over to Arthur, mewling. He purred as he wound his way around Arthur’s legs.
“Of course, now you hear me...” Arthur grumbled as he bent down to scoop Merlin up into his arms. “I’ll have no more deterrents because of you. Good night, Guinevere.” He nodded briefly before turning and heading for the safety of his chambers, Merlin in his arms.
He finally managed to make it to his quarters, absently scratching Merlin’s head as he pondered and walked. Entering his chambers, he closed the door with his foot and headed for the table. Merlin leapt from his arms, landing by the laden platter. Curling his tail around his feet, Merlin sat and stared unblinkingly at Arthur from beside the tray.
“I suppose this is your way of asking politely for the privilege of eating from my tray.” Arthur smiled as he lifted a piece of cheese from the tray to his mouth. Dark blue eyes continued to stare at him as he chewed slowly. “I’m only allowing this because I’d rather not see you pathetically trying to catch a mouse, like you should.”
Arthur selected two of the thicker cuts of roast and set them on the table in front of Merlin. “Mrowr,” Merlin purred before attacking the meat.
“You’re welcome. It’s amazing how much your manners improve when you can’t talk.” Arthur settled into his chair and ate, sliding another piece of meat and a chunk of cheese in front of Merlin when he’d finished the first two slices.
He let his mind wander as he watched Merlin daintily pick at his food, a smile on his face when Merlin started licking his paws and swiping them over his muzzle. “I believe that’s the first time I’ve seen you willingly wash yourself without having to be badgered.” Arthur chose to ignore the pointed glare being cast his way by an irritated feline. It would have been silly for a grown man to be afraid of a scraggly, half-starved cat. Very silly. Arthur kept a wary eye on the claws peeking through the black fur as Merlin continued his grooming. Arthur was more than a little impressed at the flexibility that allowed Merlin to clean himself... everywhere.
“You know, you could wait until you’re in private to do that.” Arthur pointedly looked at the door and told himself he was not blushing. He turned back to Merlin at the derogative sounding snort. There was a particular tilt to Merlin’s head and a gleam in his eye that Arthur knew was Merlin implying that Arthur was jealous of his current abilities. Arthur gave a snort of his own. “Hardly.”
Merlin’s mouth opened in what could only be the feline version of his face-splitting grin. Purring, he moved to the edge of the table closest to Arthur and sat in a somewhat regal manner, tail tip curling slowly as he eyed up Arthur. “So, what to do with you now? I’m confident that Gaius will come up with a way to turn you back, but until then...” Arthur trailed off as Merlin leapt from the table to his lap.
The purring got louder as Merlin shoved his face under Arthur’s chin and started rubbing his head against him. Arthur took this as cat-Merlin speak for, “Shut up and pet me, silly man-child.”
Grinning, Arthur brought his hand up to scratch around the enormous ears that swivelled back and out of the way. “You know, Merlin, you’re awfully pushy for a servant.” Arthur felt a quick sweep of a rough tongue against his cheek before Merlin sank down and curled up on his lap, purring furiously.
Merlin peeked through eyes slit in pleasure at Arthur clearly stating, “But I’m not a servant, sire... you are. Now hush your silly human prattling and continue petting me.” Arthur just chuckled and continued to stroke the silky furball resting on his lap. Merlin’s purring had an unexpectedly soothing effect on him and Arthur soon found himself drowsing.
Arthur’s head jerked up as he snapped himself awake. “That’s it. Time for bed.” He scooped up Merlin’s pliant form from his lap and carried him over to the bed. “You can sleep at the foot of it... like a good pet.”
Merlin flicked his tail, but remained silent.
Arthur shucked off his clothes and pulled on a pair of sleep pants. Lifting the blanket and climbing into bed, he looked down at Merlin, who hadn’t moved a whisker since being put down. “Good night, Merlin. Here’s to Gaius having a cure in the morning.”
Laying his head on his pillow, Arthur heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. He smiled as he felt Merlin creep softly up the bed, settling in the curve of Arthur’s arms. “A whole five minutes of following orders. I’m impressed.”
Merlin’s purring grew louder as he shifted closer against Arthur, who didn’t have the energy or desire to force him to move. Arthur fell asleep to the feeling of a bundle of warmth against his chest and the rumbling of Merlin’s purring resonating throughout him.
Arthur woke with the sun slanting through the window and hitting him in the eyes. “Merlin,” he grumbled, “close the curtain.”
“Mrrrr.” The reply came from the vicinity of his chest.
Arthur’s eyes flew open as the events of the previous day flashed in his mind, soon to be closed quickly as the pain of the bright light seared them. Looking down, he saw the ball of black fur regarding him sleepily. “Still a cat, I see.”
Merlin stretched a paw up and batted it lightly at Arthur’s chin.
“Don’t play cute with me. I think you’re glad of an excuse to get out of your chores for another day.” Arthur brought his hand up and poked at the outstretched paw.
Merlin’s claws came out and he snagged Arthur’s finger, dragging it down to let him latch his other paw around it. Curling up, he playfully nipped at it before licking the small bite better. Arthur dropped his hand onto the soft underbelly fur and wriggled his fingers. Merlin squirmed, stretching himself out to give Arthur better access.
“You’re ridiculous.” Arthur stroked Merlin’s nose before lifting his hand away, ignoring the desire to keep rubbing the soft fur presented to him. “Up now. Breakfast beckons.”
That had Merlin springing up and leaping over to the table. He looked plaintively over at Arthur in a manner that said, “You lied, there’s no breakfast here and now I’m going to sta-a-a-arve to death.”
Arthur chuckled as he untied the laces of his sleep pants and let them drop to the floor. He was surprised at how he suddenly felt self-conscious of the way Merlin’s gaze pinned him. He quickly grabbed clean clothes and stepped behind the changing screen. He’d almost forgotten that cat-Merlin was the same person who managed to make his stomach flutter strangely whenever he was partially dressed around him. Not that Merlin gawked or anything, but there was a certain awareness to his look, or his lack of looking.
Stepping out from behind the screen, he strode over to the door and opened it – seeing a serving girl standing at the wall with a full platter. “How long have you been there?” Arthur asked.
The girl blushed and dropped her gaze. “Not long, sire.”
Arthur didn’t believe the lie. “Well, bring it in and put it on the table.”
The girl kept her eyes down as she quickly edged around the door and made her way over to the table. She spotted Merlin as she put her tray down. “Oh, darling. What a lovely dear you are,” she crooned as she held her fingers out to him.
Merlin promptly hurried over to her to allow himself to be petted and worshiped in the manner that all felines deserve.
Arthur just rolled his eyes and settled into his chair, clamping his mouth on the need to tell the serving girl to stop touching his cat. He pulled off a couple of the thick ham steak slices and placed them on the table. “Breakfast,” he said through a mouthful of bread.
Merlin gave the girl one last nudge with his head before moving over to start his dainty picking. “He’s beautiful, sire.” The girl gazed at Merlin with soft eyes before realising she’d addressed Arthur. A blush quickly spread and before Arthur could say anything, she bobbed a quick curtsy and fled.
Raising a brow, he looked over at Merlin. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was afraid of me.
Merlin looked up from his meal. He cocked his head at Arthur, looked over at the door, then back to Arthur. His mouth cracked open in what Arthur was quickly learning was a cat’s equivalent of a grin.
“What do you know that I don’t?” Arthur narrowed his eyes.
Merlin stretched his neck, giving Arthur’s hand a reassuring lick before settling back into his breakfast.
“I fully expect you to explain this to me when you’re back to yourself.” Arthur left the implied threat hanging in the air as he finished up his food. “Hurry up, I want to go check with Gaius.”
As only a cat can, Merlin ignored the human and ate at his own pace; slowly licking the greasy residue from around his mouth.
As only a frustrated cat-owner can, Arthur ignored the angry yowl as he lifted Merlin from the table and dropped him onto the floor. He headed over to the door and opened it, watching Merlin become a black streak as he bolted through the corridor. “Now he moves fast.” Shaking his head, Arthur made his way to the physician’s quarters.
When he got there, Merlin was occupied with cleaning his bits again; blatantly displaying his agility to the annoyed human prince. “I definitely think you’re due for a visit to the stocks again.” Arthur grumbled as he lifted his hand and knocked loudly.
“Come in, sire.” Gaius’s voice was muffled through the wood. Arthur opened the door and stepped through, followed by Merlin – who kept himself near the door and away from Gaius.
“Good news, I hope.” Arthur smiled at the physician. His smile dropped at the weary look on Gaius’s face.
“I’m afraid not, sire. There’s nothing in here that tells of how to undo a fairy curse.” Gaius pulled his spectacles off and placed them on the table, rubbing at his eyes.
Arthur frowned. “So I’m to have a cat as a servant forever?”
“Well, that’s the silver lining – so to speak. Fairy curses can’t be lifted by anyone but a fairy; though they don’t tend to be long-lived.”
“Meaning?” Arthur waved Gaius on.
“Meaning that it will wear off soon enough on its own.” Gaius smiled over at Merlin.
“Define ‘soon’.” Arthur folded his arms and levelled a stare at Gaius.
Gaius didn’t meet the stare. “The shortest recorded event was a few hours.”
“That obviously isn’t the case here.” Arthur had an uneasy feeling in his stomach. “What’s the longest recorded event?”
Gaius’s eyes couldn’t meet Arthur’s. “A year.”
Arthur gaped. “A year? A year? I can’t have a catservant for a year!”
Gaius stood and closed the book in front of him. “It might not be a year, sire. It could only be a month. Or two.”
Arthur threw his hands up and groaned. “Well that’s just wonderful. Isn’t that wonderful, Merlin?” he directed to the cat by the door.
Merlin blinked at Arthur, looked at Gaius, blinked again then let out the longest and most piteous yowl either man had ever heard.
“Now Merlin, it’s not that bad.” Gaius walked over to comfort him, only to stop halfway there to sneeze – which only made Merlin yowl louder.
Arthur walked over and lifted Merlin into his arms. “Enough of that now. Gaius is right, it’s not that bad.”
Merlin dug claws into the fabric of Arthur’s tunic and tucked himself under his chin. Arthur pet him gently. Looking over at Gaius, Arthur lifted his brows in a question. “I’m afraid that all I can suggest is waiting, sire. It will wear off when it’s run its course.”
Arthur’s fingers sifted through fur until he found skin, scratching softly and soothingly. “Then that’s what we’ll do.” Taking a deep breath, Arthur moved Merlin so he could look him in the eye. “We’ll wait and when you’re back, you’ll go in the stocks for all the impudence and evil cat-things I’m sure you’ll have done by then.”
Merlin sniffed, blue eyes moist.
“Either way,” Arthur tucked Merlin back against his chest, “I have rounds to do today, since I haven’t been fortunate enough to have been struck down with a case of ‘cat’. Gaius,” he nodded in his direction before turning for the door.
Making his way back to his chambers, he continued to talk to Merlin. “Think of it this way, how many servants get to have a vacation while hanging out with their masters? And at least you’re my cat and not the cat of a guard or servant. This way, we may manage to put some meat on those bones.”
Arthur dropped Merlin as he entered his room and made his way over to his wardrobe where he shrugged into his long over coat. Looking down at Merlin as he adjusted his sword belt, he asked, “I suppose expecting you to follow orders and stay here while you’re a cat is as futile as expecting it when you’re human, hmm?”
Merlin met him at the door and began winding his way through Arthur’s legs, purring loudly. Arthur took that as, “Clearly I’m going wherever you’re going.”
Arthur sighed. “That’s what I thought. Well, come on then.” Opening the door, Arthur stepped out. Merlin matched his speed and stayed close to his side. “Try not to do anything to get yourself in more trouble while we’re out.”
Merlin quickened his pace, tail flagged high in what was clearly feline for, “Nothing that happens is ever my fault and how dare you insinuate such, you... you... human.”
They arrived at the gate without Arthur having to detour any servants from distracting Merlin. He also ignored the raised brow from Leon. The round of the lower town was relatively uneventful – if you don’t take into account the Crown Prince of Camelot getting into a heated altercation with a six year old girl.
As Arthur and his knights made their way through the streets of Camelot, they were hailed and welcomed by merchants and villagers alike. Arthur attempted to make conversation with the more genial merchants, leaving them with a smile and a hearty hand clasp. Merlin followed, sometimes getting distracted by the odd tantalising scent or sound. A few merchants noticed the black cat following the prince – they also noticed the prince waiting for or talking to the cat. A few of the clucking townswomen put their heads together to gossip over the fact; each saying that it was about time that the boy had his own pet.
Arthur and the men had finished their rounds, finding nothing wrong or out of the ordinary. They were heading back when the pastry merchant beckoned them over, smiling as he offered each man a fresh, hot berry pie. Arthur was about to gratefully sink his teeth into the delicious-smelling pie when he was distracted by a strangled yowl. Looking down, he saw Merlin was absent from the circle of him and his men. Frowning, he looked around, eyes darting as they searched for a lanky black form. He heard the strangled mewl again and honed in on Merlin, who was currently in the clutches of a small girl.
Cats may be adept at getting out of tight places and into unreachable zones, but small girls have their own ability of holding onto small animals in such a way as to make escape impossible. So Merlin hung in her grasp; a small, pudgy arm latched under his forepaws which were lifted up over his head. Merlin cast huge, pleading eyes at Arthur as he attempted to let out another meow – which came out as a strangled “Rrrw.”
Setting his pie down, he made his way over to his captive catservant. “There you are, Merlin. Come along now,” he said, mainly for the young girl’s benefit.
The girl in question turned large brown eyes to Arthur, tightening her hold on her captive. Merlin made a squeak of discomfort. “Blackie don’t want to go with you.” A second arm joined the first in clutching Merlin to her chest.
“Well, girl, ‘Blackie’ is really my cat, Merlin, and I’d like him back now so I can go.” Arthur stepped closer, worried now about the small pants coming from Merlin.
“S’not your cat. S’my cat and his name’s Blackie.” The girl stuck out her lower lip and glared up at Arthur.
“Listen here, that is my cat and I’m telling you to let him go right this instant.” Arthur forced his voice to come out quietly. He didn’t notice the stilling of the crowd around him as passersby slowed to watch.
The girl shifted Merlin away from Arthur, jaw setting mulishly. “Get your own cat. S’my cat!”
“I have my own cat. It’s the one you’re strangling. Now hand him over.” Arthur reached for Merlin.
“NO! S’MY CAT!” the girl shrieked before kicking him in the shin.
Arthur growled and made to grab the girl, stopping when a loud voice carried over the crowd. “Here, here. What’s all this?” A large matronly woman pushed through the throng of the watching villagers.
“S’my cat, Ma. He’s tryin’ to take him.” The girl dragged Merlin over to her mother.
Arthur refrained from calling the girl a liar and met the gaze of her mother. “Your daughter seems to have mistaken my cat for hers, madam.”
The girl’s mother flustered for a moment as she recognized Camelot’s prince. Looking down at her daughter, she saw the black cat struggling futilely to get away. Her daughter lifted her face and stared up at her with a glint that she recognised all too well. “Surely, sire,” she asked, “you wouldn’t begrudge my daughter the love of a pet?”
“I wouldn’t if your daughter had chosen a pet that wasn’t already claimed. And I can assure you that I’m quite attached to my cat.”
“S’MY CAT!” The girl screeched again. Merlin’s ears flattened to his skull at the volume and vicinity of the yell.
The mother fought between wanting to give into her daughter’s demands and wanting to stay on the good side of the royal family. “Milly,” she said to the girl, “why don’t you give Prince Arthur back his cat?”
Milly continued to glare at Arthur. “He’s not the prince. The prince is bigger and has a crown. And he don’t got no cat.”
Arthur lifted a hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. Merlin’s mewls gave him an idea. “Here’s a thought – how about you let him go and whoever he goes to is who he belongs to.”
Milly’s glare became vitriolic. Her mother leapt at the idea. “That sounds wonderful. Milly,” she prodded her daughter, “Milly put the cat down.”
“But Ma...” she whined.
“Down.” Her mother’s mouth firmed into a line.
Sighing, Milly let go of Merlin with one hand, kneeling on the ground. She kept a hold of his tail as she let go with her other hand. “See? He’s mine!”
Merlin was quite through with coddling the girl and turned to hiss at her. She fell back on her rear, Merlin’s tail slipping from her grasp. Arthur registered a black blur before he was hit in the chest with a puffed up bundle of fur. Merlin shoved his nose into the crook of Arthur’s neck, claws digging through and pricking small beads of blood. Arthur bit back a curse, instead turning to smile at the mother. “I think this has been settled satisfactorily.”
The mother heaved a relieved sigh and bent down to help her daughter up. Milly walked over, tiny fists clenched tight. She stopped at Arthur’s feet and glared up at him. Merlin started shivering and clung tighter. “I don’t like you.”
Arthur looked down at her. “At the moment, the feeling’s mutual.”
Milly wrinkled her nose. Then a malicious gleam lit her eyes as she stuck her tongue out at Arthur, letting out a loud, “Thbthbthbthbthbt!” before kicking him in the shin again and running off into the crowd.
Arthur straightened his spine and tried to hide the hobble as he made his way through the ring of knights at his back. He chose to ignore the hands covering grins or the badly disguised chuckles. “I believe we’re done here.” Leon nodded, a smile in his eyes if not on his face, and ordered the knights back to the castle. Arthur kept a tight hold on Merlin the entire way back, biting back a laugh as Merlin decided that the best way to thank Arthur for rescuing him was to give his neck a thorough tongue bath.
Arriving at the castle, Arthur ordered for another meal to be brought to his room, as well as a bath. He continued to pet Merlin as he waited for his bath to be filled with heated water. As the last bucket was dumped into the basin, the servant with his meal arrived. For once, Merlin ignored the food in lieu of continuing to nuzzle Arthur. The strange feeling in Arthur’s stomach returned. He attributed it to being hungry. As the servants closed the door on their way out, Arthur said, “Unless you feel like getting wet, I suggest you eat while I bathe.”
Merlin trilled a meow and landed on the table. Arthur again pulled off a portion for Merlin before heading behind the changing screen. He emerged with a drying cloth wrapped around him and headed for the gently steaming bath. Setting his jaw, he ignored Merlin as he dropped the cloth and sank down into the depths of the heated water. “Oh lord yes, that’s wonderful.” He closed his eyes and let his head tip back until it was resting on the rim of the tub.
Rolling his head to the side, Arthur cracked his eyes to look over at Merlin – who was forgoing eating for staring at Arthur with an unrecognisable look in his eyes. Arthur wasn’t sure if that was due to the human-cat crossover or if it was something else. Something to do with the awareness he’d been noticing. “Eat your food, Merlin.”
Merlin blinked slowly before dipping his head to begin eating, eyes never leaving Arthur. Arthur felt the heat from the water in a flash over his body, the warmth moving down his chest and pooling in his lower stomach. He could almost feel a physical touch as Merlin’s eyes moved from his face to his neck, down to his chest, stopping only because of the barrier of the wooden basin. “It’s very difficult for me to relax when you’re ogling me, Merlin.” Arthur tried to keep his tone casual.
Merlin lifted his head and gave Arthur his cat-grin before getting up and moving so his back was to Arthur. He went back to finishing his dinner. Arthur watched the rhythmic sway of Merlin’s tail, feeling the day seep out into the water. As it chilled, he turned his attention to his own hunger; lifting himself from the tub and quickly wrapping the drying cloth around him in case Merlin decided to resume his unnerving staring. He changed behind the screen again; coming out to sit down and eat. Merlin had finished by then and decided that while Arthur ate, he could also pet Merlin as he curled up on his lap. Arthur did, finding it soothing as it let his mind drift. He began to consider what he would have to do with cat-Merlin as opposed to normal-Merlin. Not that there was anything normal about Merlin... ever.
Merlin yawned, his mouth opening wide enough for Arthur to get a good glimpse of the row of sharp teeth. “I agree, time for bed.” Merlin jumped down and Arthur got up to call a servant in to remove the tub. When the door was closed and barred and the fire banked for the night, Arthur went around and blew out the candles. Darkness folded into the room, making it difficult for Arthur to see Merlin. “Where are you? I don’t want to step on you. Not that it wouldn’t be your own fault if I did.”
“Mrowr,” came from the bed.
Arthur made his way over to the bed and saw a small circle of black against the white of his pillows. “You’re not going to sleep at the foot of the bed, are you.” Arthur made it a statement.
Merlin blinked back at him. Arthur was amazed at how much you could get across with only a small movement of the eyes. “Right, well, move over.” Arthur lifted the blanket and slid onto the bed.
Merlin waited until he was settled before padding over and curling up against his chest. He started purring before he lay down. Arthur lifted a hand and scratched the gap between the enormous ears. Merlin shifted until he could nuzzle up against Arthur’s neck. Sighing contentedly, Arthur lifted his chin to give Merlin better access. He fell asleep to the rhythmic rumblings and warm breath of Merlin against his neck.
Arthur woke to the steady sound of Merlin’s purring against his chest. He felt a nudge on his chin and sleepily shifted it, allowing Merlin’s lips more room to nibble against his flesh. The arm wound around his waist tugged him closer, the leg between his sliding up higher. Arthur let out a breathy moan as the thigh reached his groin and Arthur began to rock against it. He could feel the press of hardened flesh against his leg and it sent a flash of heat through him. The lips on his neck moved to his jaw, little nips being accompanied by soft kisses...
Arthur’s eyes snapped open. Mouth? Arms? Lifting his head, he looked down to see a sleepy Merlin – a sleepy human Merlin – smiling up at him as he moved his hand down from Arthur’s back to his arse, cupping it and using it to pull Arthur against his leg; a leg that was moving in such a way as to make Arthur start rutting against it – even as he fought to think clearly. “You’re back,” he said.
“Nothing gets past you.” Merlin grinned and returned to nuzzling and nipping at Arthur’s neck.
Arthur continued to feel the rumbling against his chest, slowly realising what it was. “You’re purring.”
“Again, you are the master of the obvious.” Merlin shifted, pulling Arthur as he rolled onto his back. Arthur complied, moving so that his groin aligned with Merlin’s.
Arthur rolled his hips and was pleased when the purring increased in volume and Merlin lifted a leg and hooked it around one of Arthur’s. “Humans don’t purr, Merlin.”
Merlin licked his lips and pulled his head back to look at Arthur. “I guess this one does now.” He stilled his motions and just lay there, staring at Arthur. “Is that a problem, sire?”
Arthur tried to stop his body, really he did, but the feelings that were flitting through him were addictive, necessary to him breathing. He ground his crotch against Merlin and lowered his head to nip at Merlin’s jaw. “No. Not at all. Although, we will have a problem if you continue to just lie there, especially since you started this.”
Merlin grinned his grin, which Arthur much preferred in a human form instead of a cat one; bringing a hand up to palm the back of Arthur’s head. Pulling him down, he pressed his lips slowly against Arthur’s, breath caught as he waited.
He didn’t have to wait long. Arthur pressed back, mouth tasting Merlin as Merlin tasted back. Tongues swept over lips and into mouths, dancing together as their bodies began their own dance. Merlin was already naked, having lost his clothes in cat-form, and they both hastened to remove Arthur from his sleep clothes.
It was slow and lazy, cocks rubbing together with hands helping. As they reached their peaks, the rutting became punctuated with Arthur’s gasps and Merlin’s pants. Merlin’s hand tightened around them as he came, Arthur leaning down to nip at a pale shoulder as he followed. Rolling to the side, Arthur lay and let his heart and breathing return to normal. One arm tugged Merlin against him, smiling as his servant and friend came quickly and willingly. The smile widened as he realised Merlin was still purring. “I’m glad you’re back.”
Merlin chuckled through his purring as he nuzzled closer to Arthur. “Me too. Even if now I can’t fit properly in your lap anymore.”
A laugh burst from Arthur’s lips. “You were doing all that cuddling on purpose, you letch.”
“Maybe. But you let me.” Merlin smirked, resuming his purring as he lowered his head and nipped at Arthur’s chest.
Arthur reached down and dragged Merlin up, kissing him enthusiastically. “Now who’s pointing out the obvious?” Merlin smiled and moved to cover his master and lover.
And so Merlin and Arthur slipped into a pairing deeper than history would reveal. But we, my friends, we know the truth of it. Of how Arthur and Merlin’s Faerie Godmother finally brought the two boys together – for we all know that Faerie Godmothers do nothing by accident. Not even turning a warlock into a cat instead of a prince into a toad.