COMMENTARY: A Postmodern Study of Princesses in Towers
Seta why are you making me relive this--
I wrote this for the September 2007
31_days challenge, during which I posted a story to the comm once a day for a month. It shows its age, and I am terribly embarrassed, but you can see the beginnings of my obsession with dashes and awful sense of humor, heh. (I really don't hate it that much! But I was young.)
The title comes from...well, the title comes from my abject ignorance about what "postmodernism" was, give me a break, I was fifteen. I thought it sounded funny! This was for the second-to-last day of September, the prompt "your red tresses / my little tower," and for lack of ideas I decided to write a ridiculous fairy tale parody. I was encouraged in this affair by a wonderful friend whom I have since grown apart from--no drama or anything, I still think on her fondly! But in that sense, this fic takes me back. I owe Kyria a lot, as I probably wouldn't have stuck with this fandom the way I did if we hadn't met, and--well, Legendia fandom is in large part responsible for the writer I am today.
But enough misty-eyed nostalgia! That isn't what you came here to see.
The Role Reversal I used to do a lot more interesting things with format. Numbers and headers and things. No idea why I stopped.
The knight's armor gleamed brightly in the sunlight. As he strode up towards the princess's tower, his long, dark hair flew out behind him--
"So is this one of those gender-reversal type things?"
"It's so unusual to see strong women in this field..."
"Well, these are modern times, after all!" Showing my influences here--this could have been ripped out of a silly shoujo anime or ten. It's actually pretty Ouranesque.
The--very male--knight shot them all a death glare. I actually don't think Jay would care--he doesn't strike me as the type of person who's very attached to his masculinity, much less others' perception of it--but that's a position that had to evolve. Fortunately, he was spared the necessity of murdering them all Jesus fuck, Jay, you're violent in this fic. by the appearance of the 'princess', who, hanging out of the balcony window, said, "Fuck, Jay, just get me out of here already, will ya?" A little after this, Kyria commented that I had Moses curse too much. Guilty as charged.
"Oh, be quiet, bandit. Just because you have the attention span of a gnat--"
"--hey! Wantin' you to maybe speed up a bit and save me doesn't mean I got a bad attention span. It just means I don't want to be in this craphole another minute--did you see, they made me wear a dress." Moses, on the other hand, is very concerned about bein' a man.
Jay snickered. "Oh, but bandit, it makes you look so fetching."
"Shut the hell up!" Banter's the one thing I did really well back then. Hopefully I haven't lost my touch, mm?
In the crowd, several girls swooned. (Apparently, bickering couples were the new 'in' thing.)Yeah, definitely shoujo. This actually makes me think of Utena (although I hadn't seen it then) or Tutu, but who knows what I was thinking.
I have no idea what 'Role Reversal' was supposed to refer to. Possibly the fact that the more 'feminine' boy is the one doing the rescuing?
The Proactive Princess Hey, these alliterate! That's cute.
Jay was sitting on top of a pile of bodies.
A very large pile of bodies. A little off, but a decent beginning. I just want to pinch my past self's cheeks--is that weird? Look at those developing instincts!
"It's about time, bandit," he said, affecting a heavy yawn. Jay is so nonchalant about killing in this fic. I don't think that's IC, but again, humor.
"Jay...what did you--?" And Moses' reaction should probably be stronger.
"Oh, this?" Jay shrugged easily. "I simply got tired of waiting for you to come."
"You didn't have to kill them."
"I didn't kill all of them. Just most."
Moses sighed. "Whatever. Let's just go home, okay?"
"...all right." The ending needs to be a little more punchy. You can see the beginnings of something pretty funny here! But it's always sort of off. I could see it even then, but I didn't yet have the skill to fix that.
...I said I was going to resist the urge to edit this, didn't I? Damnit.
The Stolen Steed
He called upon the greatest warriors from all over the land. He tested their mettle, tested it against flesh and bone, and then steel. Did they fistfight? I wouldn't put it past Moses.He trained them, trained their legs to circle the world without complaint, trained their arms to pass through stone, trained their hands to never break. Man, these dudes are hardc0r. Those hands, they don't break!
And then, when he had prepared his followers, he rode with them to rescue the princess. It is suitably dramatic, I'll give it that, although now it kind of sounds sinister.
On six white horses they stormed the enemy tower. Okay, I probably shouldn't spork my fic during DVD commentary, but I can't help it. They only had six horses? What about this 'greatest warriors from across the land' rot? (I actually think I was attempting to reference She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain, although for what end I have no fucking clue.) Soldier after soldier fell to their might. At last, he reached the very top, where the princess was being held--
Jay shut his book. "If you call me 'princess' one more time, I'm going to file a restraining order," he said acerbically. Okay, I laughed.
"If ya come back with me, I will," Moses responded quickly. "So how 'bout it? I can--" Moses, you're being creepy, hon.
"You came all the way here--incapacitating all my guards, by the way, and you do realize that's an act of war, don't you?--just to ask me that?"
Moses pouted. "I sent you three letters, and y' never said anything back. What was I s'posed to think?" He sent real letters and everything, Jay! Why don't you appreciate him? That took work!
"...maybe that I had no desire to talk to you? Or leave my country to ride off with you and live in the dirt?" There's a whole story here that's not really being expressed, and I think it's an interesting one--Jay and Moses as princes of very different nations, meeting and corresponding and being unwillingly charmed by each other--but that doesn't come across well here. Moses is just kind of a creeper.
"Oi! I like the dirt--" At this point, Moses realized that any further venturing down this line of conversation would (to say the least) do absolutely nothing to acquit him further with Jay, and rapidly changed tacks. Hehehe, I do like this part, though. "Well, too bad for you, huh?" he said. "You don't got a choice anymore. 'Cause I'm kidnapping you." He put his hands on either side of Jay, pinning the other boy between Moses and the wall. This is totally ineffectual, mind you--Jay is much faster and deadlier than Moses in any universe.
"You're what--oh, never mind. I'm not trying to figure out your logic, it'll give me a headache." Jay closed his eyes for several seconds. He gave a long-suffering sigh. "I should really just kill you now. You and your entire troupe of morons." You see here, he's not unwilling, just exasperated. Still, what he's thinking needs to be better established.
Moses recognized this as the part where he danced his victory dance.
"Also, bandit?" Jay carefully pried Moses' arms away from him. "Keep your instincts in your pants, will you?"
Moses, feeling rather generous, nodded.
Once they were outside, Jay promptly appropriated Moses' lieutenant's horse. Bastard. At least it wasn't his.
Moses thought they were off to a good start. Comic timing is decent, though.
BONUS: The Lesbian Harem Hey, this doesn't alliterate! I feel cheated.
"So, um, I was wondering if, uh, well--"
The Diplomatic Princess waited patiently for him to finish.
"--I mean, you don't have to, but, um..." Senel's not actually this hesitant--or at least not this brand of hesitant, but again, I don't think I knew how to express the right brand.
There was a long silence, broken only by the clip-clop of a horse's tread, as one very large carriage pulled up.
"Princess."
Senel watched in stupefaction BIG WORDS! as a dark-haired young woman, clad in simple dress with a long cape, stepped out of the carriage and approached the balcony.
"I've come to rescue you," she said. Her tone was gentle, but firm, unyielding. This was a girl who stood her ground. "Please allow me to catch you. I swear on my honor as a knight that no harm will come to you for trusting me." Swoon!
The princess smiled, and daintily stepped off the balcony rail. She seemed to almost float down, in a whirl of silk robes and petticoats. Yup, shoujo, all right. "You're Chloe Valens," she said, looking up at the girl who now held her in her arms. Honestly, the idea of Chloe going around rescuing princesses (Because That's What Knights Do) tickled me, especially considering how attached the other girls are to her in canon. I still wish someone would write that lesbian harem anime fic with her.
"Yes, I am." Chloe gently lowered the princess to the ground. "Now, ah--I'll take you back home, if that's all right--"
"Actually," said the princess, "I'd like to travel with you for a while. You don't mind, do you?" Shirley wants to See the World! I think she would, actually--there's a lot of isolation inherent in her story, and she has to be curious, not to mention lonely.
"You too? Ah--I don't mind at all." A soft smile. "There's still room in the carriage, if you'd like to take a seat?"
The princess curtsied. "Thank you very much," she said.
Senel opened his mouth, then closed it again. "Wha--" This is not an eventuality Senel anticipated.
"I'm sorry," the princess said. "You were very nice, but--ah, I'm not sure I want to entrust myself to someone who's so...hesitant. And besides," here she smiled, "Chloe is very pretty, isn't she?"
Senel's shoulders slumped in defeat. He had to admit that Chloe Valens was rather attractive. Had to sneak that in, as I totally ship it.
"Another new one?" he could hear a voice saying. "I still get you first, though, right, C?"
"N-norma!" And I love love love the banter between Chloe and Norma, here and in canon.
He wasn't quite sure whether he envied her.
I wrote this for the September 2007
31_days challenge, during which I posted a story to the comm once a day for a month. It shows its age, and I am terribly embarrassed, but you can see the beginnings of my obsession with dashes and awful sense of humor, heh. (I really don't hate it that much! But I was young.)The title comes from...well, the title comes from my abject ignorance about what "postmodernism" was, give me a break, I was fifteen. I thought it sounded funny! This was for the second-to-last day of September, the prompt "your red tresses / my little tower," and for lack of ideas I decided to write a ridiculous fairy tale parody. I was encouraged in this affair by a wonderful friend whom I have since grown apart from--no drama or anything, I still think on her fondly! But in that sense, this fic takes me back. I owe Kyria a lot, as I probably wouldn't have stuck with this fandom the way I did if we hadn't met, and--well, Legendia fandom is in large part responsible for the writer I am today.
But enough misty-eyed nostalgia! That isn't what you came here to see.
The Role Reversal I used to do a lot more interesting things with format. Numbers and headers and things. No idea why I stopped.
The knight's armor gleamed brightly in the sunlight. As he strode up towards the princess's tower, his long, dark hair flew out behind him--
"So is this one of those gender-reversal type things?"
"It's so unusual to see strong women in this field..."
"Well, these are modern times, after all!" Showing my influences here--this could have been ripped out of a silly shoujo anime or ten. It's actually pretty Ouranesque.
The--very male--knight shot them all a death glare. I actually don't think Jay would care--he doesn't strike me as the type of person who's very attached to his masculinity, much less others' perception of it--but that's a position that had to evolve. Fortunately, he was spared the necessity of murdering them all Jesus fuck, Jay, you're violent in this fic. by the appearance of the 'princess', who, hanging out of the balcony window, said, "Fuck, Jay, just get me out of here already, will ya?" A little after this, Kyria commented that I had Moses curse too much. Guilty as charged.
"Oh, be quiet, bandit. Just because you have the attention span of a gnat--"
"--hey! Wantin' you to maybe speed up a bit and save me doesn't mean I got a bad attention span. It just means I don't want to be in this craphole another minute--did you see, they made me wear a dress." Moses, on the other hand, is very concerned about bein' a man.
Jay snickered. "Oh, but bandit, it makes you look so fetching."
"Shut the hell up!" Banter's the one thing I did really well back then. Hopefully I haven't lost my touch, mm?
In the crowd, several girls swooned. (Apparently, bickering couples were the new 'in' thing.)Yeah, definitely shoujo. This actually makes me think of Utena (although I hadn't seen it then) or Tutu, but who knows what I was thinking.
I have no idea what 'Role Reversal' was supposed to refer to. Possibly the fact that the more 'feminine' boy is the one doing the rescuing?
The Proactive Princess Hey, these alliterate! That's cute.
Jay was sitting on top of a pile of bodies.
A very large pile of bodies. A little off, but a decent beginning. I just want to pinch my past self's cheeks--is that weird? Look at those developing instincts!
"It's about time, bandit," he said, affecting a heavy yawn. Jay is so nonchalant about killing in this fic. I don't think that's IC, but again, humor.
"Jay...what did you--?" And Moses' reaction should probably be stronger.
"Oh, this?" Jay shrugged easily. "I simply got tired of waiting for you to come."
"You didn't have to kill them."
"I didn't kill all of them. Just most."
Moses sighed. "Whatever. Let's just go home, okay?"
"...all right." The ending needs to be a little more punchy. You can see the beginnings of something pretty funny here! But it's always sort of off. I could see it even then, but I didn't yet have the skill to fix that.
...I said I was going to resist the urge to edit this, didn't I? Damnit.
The Stolen Steed
He called upon the greatest warriors from all over the land. He tested their mettle, tested it against flesh and bone, and then steel. Did they fistfight? I wouldn't put it past Moses.He trained them, trained their legs to circle the world without complaint, trained their arms to pass through stone, trained their hands to never break. Man, these dudes are hardc0r. Those hands, they don't break!
And then, when he had prepared his followers, he rode with them to rescue the princess. It is suitably dramatic, I'll give it that, although now it kind of sounds sinister.
On six white horses they stormed the enemy tower. Okay, I probably shouldn't spork my fic during DVD commentary, but I can't help it. They only had six horses? What about this 'greatest warriors from across the land' rot? (I actually think I was attempting to reference She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain, although for what end I have no fucking clue.) Soldier after soldier fell to their might. At last, he reached the very top, where the princess was being held--
Jay shut his book. "If you call me 'princess' one more time, I'm going to file a restraining order," he said acerbically. Okay, I laughed.
"If ya come back with me, I will," Moses responded quickly. "So how 'bout it? I can--" Moses, you're being creepy, hon.
"You came all the way here--incapacitating all my guards, by the way, and you do realize that's an act of war, don't you?--just to ask me that?"
Moses pouted. "I sent you three letters, and y' never said anything back. What was I s'posed to think?" He sent real letters and everything, Jay! Why don't you appreciate him? That took work!
"...maybe that I had no desire to talk to you? Or leave my country to ride off with you and live in the dirt?" There's a whole story here that's not really being expressed, and I think it's an interesting one--Jay and Moses as princes of very different nations, meeting and corresponding and being unwillingly charmed by each other--but that doesn't come across well here. Moses is just kind of a creeper.
"Oi! I like the dirt--" At this point, Moses realized that any further venturing down this line of conversation would (to say the least) do absolutely nothing to acquit him further with Jay, and rapidly changed tacks. Hehehe, I do like this part, though. "Well, too bad for you, huh?" he said. "You don't got a choice anymore. 'Cause I'm kidnapping you." He put his hands on either side of Jay, pinning the other boy between Moses and the wall. This is totally ineffectual, mind you--Jay is much faster and deadlier than Moses in any universe.
"You're what--oh, never mind. I'm not trying to figure out your logic, it'll give me a headache." Jay closed his eyes for several seconds. He gave a long-suffering sigh. "I should really just kill you now. You and your entire troupe of morons." You see here, he's not unwilling, just exasperated. Still, what he's thinking needs to be better established.
Moses recognized this as the part where he danced his victory dance.
"Also, bandit?" Jay carefully pried Moses' arms away from him. "Keep your instincts in your pants, will you?"
Moses, feeling rather generous, nodded.
Once they were outside, Jay promptly appropriated Moses' lieutenant's horse. Bastard. At least it wasn't his.
Moses thought they were off to a good start. Comic timing is decent, though.
BONUS: The Lesbian Harem Hey, this doesn't alliterate! I feel cheated.
"So, um, I was wondering if, uh, well--"
The Diplomatic Princess waited patiently for him to finish.
"--I mean, you don't have to, but, um..." Senel's not actually this hesitant--or at least not this brand of hesitant, but again, I don't think I knew how to express the right brand.
There was a long silence, broken only by the clip-clop of a horse's tread, as one very large carriage pulled up.
"Princess."
Senel watched in stupefaction BIG WORDS! as a dark-haired young woman, clad in simple dress with a long cape, stepped out of the carriage and approached the balcony.
"I've come to rescue you," she said. Her tone was gentle, but firm, unyielding. This was a girl who stood her ground. "Please allow me to catch you. I swear on my honor as a knight that no harm will come to you for trusting me." Swoon!
The princess smiled, and daintily stepped off the balcony rail. She seemed to almost float down, in a whirl of silk robes and petticoats. Yup, shoujo, all right. "You're Chloe Valens," she said, looking up at the girl who now held her in her arms. Honestly, the idea of Chloe going around rescuing princesses (Because That's What Knights Do) tickled me, especially considering how attached the other girls are to her in canon. I still wish someone would write that lesbian harem anime fic with her.
"Yes, I am." Chloe gently lowered the princess to the ground. "Now, ah--I'll take you back home, if that's all right--"
"Actually," said the princess, "I'd like to travel with you for a while. You don't mind, do you?" Shirley wants to See the World! I think she would, actually--there's a lot of isolation inherent in her story, and she has to be curious, not to mention lonely.
"You too? Ah--I don't mind at all." A soft smile. "There's still room in the carriage, if you'd like to take a seat?"
The princess curtsied. "Thank you very much," she said.
Senel opened his mouth, then closed it again. "Wha--" This is not an eventuality Senel anticipated.
"I'm sorry," the princess said. "You were very nice, but--ah, I'm not sure I want to entrust myself to someone who's so...hesitant. And besides," here she smiled, "Chloe is very pretty, isn't she?"
Senel's shoulders slumped in defeat. He had to admit that Chloe Valens was rather attractive. Had to sneak that in, as I totally ship it.
"Another new one?" he could hear a voice saying. "I still get you first, though, right, C?"
"N-norma!" And I love love love the banter between Chloe and Norma, here and in canon.
He wasn't quite sure whether he envied her.