Hello adventurer!

Sadly, this is not the town of Honeywood, but since you are here, enjoy this image with high shamanistic quality:

I've grown tired of being fed with visual poison on mainstream social networks, so I've decided to run my own.
https://www.lancraft.cz/

About 10 000 poor souls decided to join, for some unknown reason. Now instead of getting away with fast-food quality code and sql queries I have to spend most of my time optimizing, so we can continue sending emojis and nudes each to other. The worst part is that everytime a hot girl is about to send me such a perfect pic, she somehow missclicks and I receive a bug report instead. It's annoying but I give them the benefit of the doubt.

Generally I use M$ technologies and I love them. But everytime I start to like the company too much, they are swift to slap me in the face with This repository is now Archived (flashbacks from Vietnam, Silverlight, ASP MVC) or It looks like your Sql Server is outdated, would you like to sell your other kidney and upgrade?

Writing interprets / compilers by night is an endless source of pleasure for me. Sadly, that cannot be said about the end users of them. I like to lure them with innocent Look the syntax is so simple, you can do it and then leave them to fight inner demons of the documentation.

By day I work as a software engineer. Now for https://www.scio.cz/.
All opinions are my own.

Once I've sumbited a PR which makes one argument in some NHibernate function optional. They merged it. Now I can claim I'm a contributor of my favourite ORM.

I used to tinker around with Game Maker (6, 8, gay maker virus - time to reinstall Windows, Studio, Studio 2 beta, lost track of it). I didn't like the black box so I've attempted to reimplement the engine using MonoGame. It almost works. It actually works (for a while) if you know what you are doing. It also leaks a lot of memory.
https://github.com/lofcz/SimplexRpgEngine
Note: real deal stuff from Mark Overmars: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/27700672_Maintaining_2-_and_3-connected_components_in_graphs_Part_I_2-_and_3-edge-connected_components

My favourite game engine now is Libre Office - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L56azbL3DjA&ab_channel=quwex

On lonely nights I used to play CS:GO with my friends until I've decided that Gold Nova 1 is definitely not the right rank for me, pasted all the public snipets from UnknownCheats to my fork of Osiris and submited iconic PR#2074 which is well known in cheaters community now. With naive bruteforcing it can outplay almost any russian potato computer in public matchmaking. Now I have no friends willing to play with me. Fun fact: I've played on my main account with a simple external private I've coded for 200+ hours and I'm still not banned. One famous Polish YouTuber wasted willingly his time and shot an interview with me about the cheat.
danielkrupinski/Osiris#2074

Some actually useful articles:
https://www.netzliteratur.net/cramer/pornography/london-2005/pornographic-coding.html
https://runyourown.social/

Real legends I wish to be like when I grow up:
https://bellard.org/ (this guy is definitely an alien)
https://twitter.com/id_aa_carmack (almost invented 0x5F3759DF)
https://templeos.org/ (we report to him, he reports to God)
https://twitter.com/brutaldoomguy (cyka blyat, he still makes DOOM great again)
https://templeos.org/ (we report to him, he reports to God)
http://david.loyc.net/ c# from ever distant future

Apart from coding I play on a guitar. Started to learn it as a way to link girls a few years ago, then realized that reverse polish notation doesn't need parentheses and I can evaluate 1 + 1 using a stack. At that moment I've stopped my Tinder Gold subscription and happily coded ever since.

Once in a while I have to initiate not-yet-burnt-out youth souls to the miracles of programming. On such an occasion I'm often asked whether the slides could be presented in Powerpoint. To that I always reply that we already have Powerpoint at home.
Powerpoint at home:
About thread starvation and how everytime you write a sync IO method a kitten dies

Here are some easy tricks to assert your alpha-programmer dominance and become leader of the pack:

• use xor eax, eax instead of mov eax, 0.
• use -~n instead of n + 1.
• use n << 2 instead of n * 2.
• always question time complexity.
• if that doesn't work question space complexity.
• as a last resort you can always say that you would burn 3 MD on this algorithm but if they want it, you'll do it.
• rather suffer with old C than do the same thing quickly in Pascal. Real programmers don't use Pascal.
• real programmers neither use current summer meta JavaScript framework.

As of 2021 I literally want only one thing and guys at JetBrains think it's fucking disgusting. Edit Q2 2021: grew tired of waiting and switched to Rider.

New meta stats, useless but looks cool:

I dedicate all my FOSS software to Terry A. Davis
The CIA might glow but you will shine forever.