How to Write a Review
As we all know, feedback is an essential part of the writing process. Without it, readers couldn't put in their two cents about what they've read and writers would never know the quality of their work. The review is not only a way of communication between the reader and the author, but a scale of value.
It may not seem like a big deal when you lazily click the "Submit A Review" button, but to the author this means something incredible: someone has read their story. You may be thinking, "Big whoop. There are thousands of stories on this website." And that's exactly the point. There are thousands of stories, and out of those thousands, someone chose theirs. It's a big deal.
TYPES OF REVIEWS
A review can be placed into several different categories.
There are flames, which are the worst kind of review. They tell the author absolutely nothing about their story except that it apparently "sucks ass" and doesn't deserve to have a place in literature, normally using an excessive amount of insults and cussing to complete this task. These are written by people who get their rocks off on making 12-year-old girls cry. There are three ways an author will react to a flame. They will (1) become inflamed with self-pity and drop drastically in self-esteem, in some cases leading to hysterical crying. They can (2) become so angry that they reply to the flamer with a detailed description of why the flamer is wrong or babble obnoxious insults that have no meaning, which the flamer (who will never change their viewpoint and doesn't give a shit what you think) will not read, or they will (3) dismiss it outright because their story is too good to be put down by some stupid flamer. No matter how the author reacts, it makes no difference. The flame is completely useless (though in some cases kind of amusing).
I am not a retard, my dear twat. Unlike you, I do not need someone telling me that the viewpoint has changed. If you were a half decent author instead of a shitty little fanbrat, the description of your writing would be sufficient enough to show whose PoV it is.
Next up, we have the space bar. This magical instrument has the power to...make a space. Even after a comma!
The fact is, fucktard, you are clearly an illiterate asswipe who has no fucking idea about punctuation, spelling, or 'talent' in the writing department (or any department, for that matter). You have the longest, most retarded run on sentences I have ever seen (the period button is there for a fucking reason, dickwad), and you seem to easily get confused between 'there' and 'their.'
'There' is used, for example, in reference to places: "Get your whore ass over there, woman."
'Their' is used to reference when something belongs to someone: "My friends are so lucky. Their wimminz make them sammiches. GTFO of here and go into the kitchen where you belong, bitch!"
[...] Get this shit off the site. It's nothing more than a pile of illiterate sludge you sucked up after experimenting with crystal meth. Anonymous
There are 3-worders, which are frivolous phrases capitalized and separated only by a series of exclamation points and, on occasion, 1's. These usually consist of expressions such as “I LUV IT!!” or “omg plz rite more1!!” The struggle for authors with these types of reviews is that they must determine from those 3-word sentences whether or not the reviewer actually had an interest in it and whether the reviewer is reliable. Of course the actual phrasing hints to a number ten on the scale, but was that pity, genuine or careless?
LOL this was good. the-original-hufflepuff
The main cause of a pity review is the low review count a story has. In this case, it’s difficult to tell whether the reviewer is serious or trying desperately to stay awake long enough to comment on something in the story to make it look genuine. Genuine is very hard to decipher from a careless critique. When someone who has all the time in the world goes from fic to fic, raping the “Submit A Review” button and calling people “dude” more than is necessary, it’s likely they don’t really care about your story. The most logical explanation for this is because they believe that if they review your story, you will read and review one of theirs.
Poor Sirius. He never deserved parents like his! He's a good guy, that's why he cares. Siriusly Loopy
The update reviews tell you absolutely nothing except that someone read your story. These reviews consist of a sentence that merely relates their wish for you to “please update soon!” They fail to mention why they would like the story updated, and therefore lack the encouragement an author needs to continue their story. How does the author know that the reader only wants to continue reading your story because they want to make fun of it? An author does not know why the reviewer enjoyed the story, or even that they did. How does that instill confidence enough to continue?
I LOVED it!! Please, please write more!! Dazzle Me Again
The genuine review is hard to come by. Basically, you can factor out a pity review and a 3-worder when the review is longer than two sentences. That leaves only flame and genuine. When a reviewer is actually interested in your story, they will say whether they found it exciting, inspiring, heartbreaking or morbid and the reasons why they thought so. Generally, they will have specific comments to include as to their reasoning for their interest and they will also tell you specific things they did not like about your story. This is not meant to be disheartening, like a flame would be, but is meant to help improve your writing (a.k.a. constructive criticism).
This was very nicely written. There were a few little snippets that stood out to me in particular:
'He could face Hermione. It was just Hermione. But that was the problem, wasn’t it? It was Hermione.' This to me was so telling of their relationship... I loved that you conveyed that without going into a huge page-long paragraph about it and that you didn't have Harry try to "justify" his feelings as we often see happen in fanfiction before they get together (I admit it, I get impatient easily).
'Harry watched her lips move, watched her eyes gazing at him, at the ceiling for emphasis. Impulse. Strange, wicked, unbelievably strong impulse.' Hermione's rant was something I could very well see her doing, and Harry's reaction to her was in keeping with passing thoughts he's had of her in the book -- but you successfully took it to a whole new level.
'And, without thinking about how incredibly horrible what he had just done was, he missed her already.' I loved this last line. It was the perfect way to end the fic, although of course I would have loved more. :)
Constructively, I think that the beginning could have been a little stronger -- possibly make it a little more humorous? It would have been a really nice touch to see Harry reflecting kind of sardonically on the whole thing, which you kind of started to do but didn't really go into. I also think that humor would have strengthened his "confession" a little bit -- maybe give a few extra details about Hermione's expression, hand gestures, etc. while she's ranting or go deeper into Harry's discomfort.
At first I wasn't too fond of Hermione breaking down in tears, but then cannon came to mind and I realized it would actually be pretty in character considering everything else she has on her plate at the moment.
Anyway, I hope that this very vague, rambling review helped you some. I enjoyed reading your story. :) Tears of Mercury
WRITING A REVIEW
Now that you know the five most frequent review types, what you want your review to look like is the latter of those choices. If you’re going to review someone’s work, which they have spent many hours thinking on, constructing and writing, it should be genuine, don’t you think? I believe every writer, even the crappy ones, deserve a bit of your time. They’ve written a story and posted it to entertain you and your peers, so the least you can do is tell them what you think. It’s just plain common courtesy.
NOTE: Writers crave feedback. Feedback is like drugs to aspiring authors, and if you deprive them of their medication, their talent, will, and creativity are going to wither and die (unless they’re extremely self-reliant and don’t give a crap what other people think, but let’s be realistic here: how many writers do you know are like that?). Why do you think LiveJournal has a comment box for every blog entry? Even journal writers like to see people reading what they’ve written.
The following questions should be answered in a review:
(1) Did you like or dislike the story?
(2) What were the reasons you liked/disliked it?
(3) What, if anything, did you get out of the story?
(4) Was there anything the author could have done to make the story better?
(5) Would you continue to read the story if it were updated?
If you’re to write a proper review, you need to look over these questions and consider if you’ve truly answered them all once your review has been written. As you can see, the questions are mostly about you, so they should be easy for you to answer. We’ll go through them one step at a time.
Fairly simple question. Once you reached the end of the page, did you feel satisfied with the end result? Did you crave more? Was the plot both believable and interesting? Did you elicit the emotion that the author was hoping to get out of his or her audience (ex. after reading an angst fic, were you genuinely saddened by the story)?
If you answered any of these questions “true,” then you probably liked the story. If you answered false, perhaps you believed the story could have been better, or you didn’t like the story at all. Either way, you need to tell the truth. However, there is a right and a wrong way to tell someone you didn’t enjoy reading their work, which leads us to our next question.
After answering the question above, you need to explain to the author why you did or did not like their story. Here are a few generic reasons you can base this answer off of:
| Reasons for Liking | Reasons for Disliking |
| The plot was interesting/exciting The characters were well-written The story was paced well There was no confusion throughout the story There were surprising/intriguing plot twists There was a good balance of dialogue and narration There was an interesting theme/point to the story There was a good build up to the climax |
The plot didn’t hold my attention It took too long to build up to the climax It was too wordy Not enough dialogue/narration/description There was no point/theme The writing style was unfamiliar to me It was too fast/slow I didn’t understand what was going on The story/characters weren’t believable The dialogue sounded forced/fake |
These generic reasons are the easy part. If you have specific examples from within the story that you can talk about in your review, it will give the author a good idea of what they did right and what they could have improved upon. The following statements show how to give a specific example from a writer’s work.
'He could face Hermione. It was just Hermione. But that was the problem, wasn’t it? It was Hermione.'
This to me was so telling of their relationship... I loved that you conveyed that without going into a huge page-long paragraph about it and that you didn't have Harry try to "justify" his feelings as we often see happen in fanfiction before they get together (I admit it, I get impatient easily). Tears of Mercury
No, I couldn’t do it. There were too many good things in that room. It may sound ridiculous, but I’d rather force myself to remember the bad. Because having to look at what I still have is a lot easier than looking at what I had and can never have again.
Aw, that was the saddest thing ever. […] SiriuslySouthern
Very funny, I loved it! All the girls were great, and Sirius trying to act sedately was just entertaining to watch. The "Good. Practice those." made me laugh, the idea of the students wondering whether or not to actually practice Unforgivable Curses! islington bus no. 199
It was mellow, but in a good way, and the way you describe the two, and their thoughts and emotions, through their actions, is really excellent. It has a real feel to it, and the activities they do and their dialogue show off the awkwardness there must be perfectly. […] muhaaauder
At first I wasn't too fond of Hermione breaking down in tears, but then cannon came to mind and I realized it would actually be pretty in-character considering everything else she has on her plate at the moment. Tears of Mercury
These are actual reviews from readers of my own work. The underlined portions are where the specific examples are integrated into the review. They can be verbatim quotes/narration or quick reminders of a precise event in the story. You’ll know a review is genuine if you see one of these specific examples, because a pity review, a 3-worder, or a flame will not care enough to show you what you did right or wrong.
IMPORTANT: Going back to the first question, if you tell the author that you didn’t like the story, you must answer the second question quickly afterward, or they will dismiss your review as a simple flame and not care what you have to say. Be polite about it, because they worked hard on their story and it will be difficult for them to listen to someone say they didn’t like it. If you’re mean or condescending, then it will be even harder for them.
Some writers write just to write, but many have a specific purpose. There are several ways an author can show their purpose through writing. A couple of those ways are through theme and symbols. A good reader will pick up on these throughout a story and they will be able to understand the author's larger purpose. Here are a couple examples.
Themes One of the many themes in the Harry Potter books is the idea that "love conquers all." We can see this theme through J.K. Rowling's use of the love shield in which Lily sacrificed her life to save Harry's.
Symbols Arguably, the One Ring of power in The Lord of the Rings is a symbol of corruption. It takes a while for it to get a hold on you, but it is inevitable that those who have possession of the Ring become ensnared by greed for it and for the power it gives the bearer.
If you're able to find the themes and symbols in a writer's story, point them out and let them know how you found them and what they meant to you. Some writers write themes and symbols they didn't even know they were trying to convey, believe it or not. You may even surprise them with your findings. It helps to show the writer you've unmasked these truths because most of the time, that's their entire purpose for having written the story. It will mean a great deal that you were able to understand them.
Also, you don't have to worry about getting the themes and symbols correct or not. They can mean different things to different people, and I'm sure every writer would appreciate having some input on the matter besides their own opinion.
Constructive criticism is an essential part of a review. If you find something in an author's writing that isn't correct (which can be as simple a spelling, grammatical or punctuation errors), let them know. They may be a bit embarrassed about having gotten it wrong in the first place, but they'll thank you for it later because it will help the correctness of their writing in future.
But grammar isn't the only thing you can correct. If you think the plot is weak, the story is off-balance, the characters are out of character (OOC), their dialogue isn't believable, the climax is flimsy and unexciting, the wording is off, the description is dry, the narration is confusing... If you find any of these things to be true, you should let the author know. You will help their future writing if you're able to write some effective and true constructive criticism that the writer will listen to and take to heart. Therefore, you must do it gently, but with some persuasion.
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."
Here are a few examples of constructive criticism that could potentially help writers to better their writing style/plots.
Comment on the plot: Constructively, I think that the beginning could have been a little stronger -- possibly make it a little more humorous? It would have been a really nice touch to see Harry reflecting kind of sardonically on the whole thing, which you kind of started to do but didn't really go into. I also think that humor would have strengthened his "confession" a little bit -- maybe give a few extra details about Hermione's expression, hand gestures, etc. while she's ranting or go deeper into Harry's discomfort. Tears of Mercury
Comment on characterization: I just don't think you should make James refer to Lily as "Lily Evans" it's too informal. I think "Evans" works better, don't you? Poetique
Comment on word usage: My only problem is that in England they don't have Elementary schools, they have Primary schools. Same thing basically. the-original-hufflepuff
Comment on a plot hole: How would she know if it was Sirus's baby? And how would Sirus know if she's telling the truth? (Especially as what's going on with the Anna Nicole Smith baby's father announcement. For the record - he's not on the birth certificate!) Overhill
Comment on cliche: How come everyone makes Sirius like this? And with this same ending? It was good, just a little cliche. Anonymous
Suggestion for an addition: But shouldn't Severus be teaching Potions around this time? Some interaction would be fun...maybe along the lines of Sirius ending up observing Snape closely to find out how he can control his classes? Terri Stephens
Suggestion on plot build up: Everything before seemed a bit like background story where you are trying to build their character and show their relationship to each other. I found that a bit long, especially the childhood stuff, I could have done with a much shorter version particularly because they are original characters (maybe that doesn't make that much sense...) I would have preferred if you introduced the characters and their relationship as adults, not children, which would have made the introduction shorter. But hey, it's your story! Chucky1982
Suggestion for better reader understanding: The switching years is confusing though, and it wasn't until a few chapters on I realized what you were doing. Maybe at the top of each page you could label it "young" and "older" or something like that. Melanie Potter
As you read above, suggestions can be very helpful to a writer. Not only should you tell the writer what you think they could have done better, but you should give them an idea of HOW they could improve. Your opinion does matter to the author. All the suggestions and comments above were taken into consideration by me as I wrote my fics, and I did a lot of editing to ensure that my reviewer's constructive criticism was taken into account.
This is probably the easiest thing you can address to an author in a review. I made this the last question to answer because this should be the last thing you address: whether their story was good enough for you to want to read more of it. This is a big thing for an author, a determining factor of self-confidence and the willpower to continue writing their story.
Some authors simply give up writing their stories if they don't get a review or if they get a review that doesn't say anything about updating. So, apparently, its a sensitive subject. If you'd read more, tell them you'd like to see an update. If not, either don't say anything or tell them it works better as a one shot so that you don't wound their pride.
If you legitimately do like their story, and you have favorited the story, the author, or put it on alert, tell them you've done so. I know they get e-mail alerts about that kind of stuff, but it's still nice to hear it from the reviewers themselves. It means you're excited about having read their story and that you're proud to say you've made them one of your favorites.
Once you've finished answering the questions, you have completed a GOOD REVIEW. Pat yourself on the back, my friend. Not many people can say they've accomplished so great a task.
Oh, and you're probably wondering why the hell you should care to write a review this long when it doesn't benefit yourself. Good question!
- If you want better writing on the site you publish your work on, help the other writers on the site write better. That's just about as simple as I can make it.
- And if you want reviews on your own work, write good reviews of other people's stories. Undoubtedly when someone sees your long-ass review, they'll read and review your work so that you'll review theirs. You don't have to reciprocate if you don't want to, but you will have more people reading your stuff.
Think about it, cuz it's worth it.
And if you've read this and still only write crap reviews ... I give up.