"Through the Eyes of Those Left Behind" Ch 2, pt 1
Title: Through the Eyes of Those Left Behind
Author: Taylor Dancinghands -taylor@willendorphians.com
Characters: McKay/Beckett/Zelenka
Category: slash, established relationship, h/c
Rating: 'NC-17' for explicit homoerotic depictions
Archive: Generally yes, but please let me know where
Summary: The structural integrity of Rodney, Carson and Radek's threesome is tested mightily by the events surrounding "Misbegotten".
Spoilers/Season: End of Season 1, beginning of Season 2. This story is all about "Misbegotten" and much of what immediately precedes it ("Allies", "No Man's Land"). Some dialogue taken directly from the opening scene of "Misbegotten". Also, I'm calling it a sequel to "Coalescence", though I don't know that you'd need to read it to appreciate this.
Author's notes: One of the things I love about this show is how often you see that the characters realizing that they're in it waaay over their heads quite a bit. Carson Beckett does this especially well, and he's never looked so 'in-it-over-his-head' as he did sitting in the drone control chair at the beginning of "Misbegotten". This is the story that sprang from that moment.
Betas: Thanx to
ankhmutes for her usual excellent advice!
In addition, when I suddenly realized that a big chunk of Radek backstory would be revealed in the last half of this story I thought it wise to consult withdinofly as a local history and politics expert (well, more expert than me, anyway) and this story is tons better for her advice.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, never will, not claiming to. Just wanna play with 'em a little. Can't I, can't I, huh?
Through the Eyes of Those Left Behind
by Taylor Dancinghands
Chapter 2: Radek Zelenka
They'd both tried to talk him out of going, and later, Rodney had done his manful best to try and talk Carson out of staying, but they'd both known that neither one of them had a leg to stand on. Carson hadn't even tried to talk Radek out of going with the Daedalus on its probable suicide mission, but Rodney was never one to take the passive option. Still, he'd known, as he confessed to Radek upon his return to Atlantis alone, that there would be no talking Dr. Carson Beckett out of his responsibility to his patients. It would not matter who they were or even who they had been.
There was no point in regretting this, as Carson's steadfast dedication to the ethics of his avocation were one of the things they both loved about him, and so the two scientists allowed themselves to become consumed with work (which was no difficulty with both a Wraith hive ship and the Daedalus to be put back in fighting trim) and spent short hours in bed, holding each other close and not sleeping at all. Two days passed in this manner, fueled by caffeine and tinged with slow burning anxiety, until the day that Rodney came storming into the labs in such a state of distress that all the alarm bells went off inside Radek.
"That hive ship needs to be running and battle-ready yesterday," were Rodney's first words, snapped out as soon he had the other scientists' attention. "We're heading back to the refugee station in ninety minutes, come hell or high water. Chen, Coleman, Sanchez, you're joining Simpson's team on the hive ship. The hyper-drive and the weapons' power systems will be ready in an hour and a half or you're going with us."
Us. Radek's heart sank to hear it, though he knew he should not have been surprised. Even if the teams at work on the hive ship now, with the reinforcements Rodney was sending, completed their tasks them in time (and they probably would -they had a powerful motivator), Radek knew that the weapons systems would still require hours of highly skilled labor before they were ready. Rodney now turned to address the software engineers, who were still working to improve the interface they'd need to control the hive ship's basic systems, issuing similar dictums to them, then he turned to Radek, taking him by the arm as he headed out of the lab.
"Walk with me," he said, and Radek complied without question.
"There's a Wraith hive ship headed right for the planet where we left Carson," Rodney began without preamble as they progressed down the corridor towards their quarters.
"Bože, ne!" Radek cried quietly, feeling his heart drop into his shoes.
"If we take the hive ship right now we can get there before they do," he continued, explaining what Radek was just working out, "but if we wait till the Daedalus is ready..."
Radek nodded, concentrating mainly on keeping pace with Rodney's hurried and longer legged gait. It was easier than focusing on the welter of conflicting feelings in his heart. Rodney's speed did not diminish in the least when they entered their quarters, as he tore through the place, gathering his field kit and pack, and all the various equipment and supplies he thought he'd need.
"You will need help getting the hive ship's weapons on line, yes?" Radek said as Rodney raced about their quarters.
"You can't come," Rodney answered him unequivocally, actually pausing in his flurry of activity to dump the bulging pack on the sofa and stand before Radek. "I need you working on the Daedalus, to shave as much time as you can off their repairs, because something tells me we're going to need them to show up and save our sorry asses and... and seconds could make a difference."
For just a moment Radek could see how frightened his lover was, and remembered how frightened he'd been when he'd had to tell Carson that he was going on the Daedalus to stop the hive ships headed towards Earth. He did as Carson had done then, stepping forward to take Rodney in his arms and hold him tight, kissing him with desperate passion. It was Rodney who broke it off, drawing back so that Radek could see the deep unhappiness revealed in the man's face, and Radek had to pull him back in for another embrace.
"Bring him back if you can, Rodney," Radek murmured into his ear, "but if you cannot, please bring yourself back. Prosim, milacku."
"I'll do everything I can," Rodney promised quietly, "I swear."
Rodney's eyes were a little too bright when they finally parted, and he turned away to shoulder his pack. "I have to go now," he said, moving towards the door.
Radek's throat ached, and for a moment he didn't trust himself to speak. "I know," he said at last, and then, "I love you, Rodney."
Rodney paused and reached back to touch Radek's face with his finger tips. "I..." he began, "well, you know... You too, I mean... I... I... love you, too... you know."
"I know," Radek said again, even more softly, ducking his head to hide the tears which he knew would come any second. "Tell Carson..."
"I will," Rodney said, sparing him having to say any more, and then he was gone.
Stumbling back to collapse heavily on the sofa as he watched the door close on his lover, Radek slipped his glasses off and finally gave way to tears.
As before, it was too easy for Radek to lose himself in what was really a great deal of very critical work. He was alone in the Daedalus' engine room sometime around four-fifteen the next morning when he heard a soft footfall and looked up to see Dr. Weir gazing over at the small island of light in the otherwise darkened room where Radek was toiling away. He waited for the chastisement, knowing already that he was well off his best game, lack of sleep and an excess of caffeine having ruined his concentration, but none came. It occurred to him then to wonder what it was that Dr. Weir was doing up and walking the empty corridors of the Daedalus at this hour, and it dawned on him that she was as beset as he was.
There was even, perhaps, a trace of envy in her gaze as she watched Radek work, however ineffectively, for he had a mountain of tasks before him and she had nothing to do but walk the empty corridors of her city and wait.
She nodded a brief greeting as he looked up from his work. "Radek," she said, acknowledging him and, to some extent, their shared worries.
"Elizabeth," he nodded back, his own voice rusty from his recent excesses. Elizabeth's gaze passed over the room, and for a moment it looked as though she were about to offer some sort of encouragement, but then she seemed to think the better of it, and after another moment, she walked on.
The Daedalus achieved sufficient readiness some hours later the next morning and Radek found himself firmly guided to the infirmary by Dr. Kusanagi, where he was given a sleeping pill by Dr. Biro and directed to his quarters. He woke nine hours later, certain that they would have learned nothing yet, and quickly discovered that he was right, much to his continued dismay. He took himself to the mess hall where dinner was being served, made a valiant effort to partake of some kind of nourishment and was soon joined by Dr. Weir, who seemed to be facing a similar challenge. Wordlessly, they dared each other, matched each other bite for bite, and soon found that they'd both consumed something like a decent meal.
The Daedalus finally made contact late that night, reporting that the hive ship had been lost, along with the entire contingent of marines from the planet, but that Carson had been rescued and damage control had (hopefully) been accomplished. This news was delivered to him by Dr. Weir who found him alone in the lab, staring at a schematic on his computer screen which he had not really been able to make any sense out of for hours now.
The relief upon hearing that Carson was alive and homeward bound was evident in his voice as he thanked her. He made himself leave the labs then, to go home and at least try and get some rest, but far too many troubling questions remained in Radek's mind for him to get any sleep. He showered and crawled into the very empty seeming bed and lay quietly in the dark, wanting sleep badly, but unable to let go of his worries enough to get so much as a wink.
***
Next comes the reunion and then the guilt -Oy the guilt!
(also lots comforts and some secrets from Radek's past!)
Author: Taylor Dancinghands -taylor@willendorphians.com
Characters: McKay/Beckett/Zelenka
Category: slash, established relationship, h/c
Rating: 'NC-17' for explicit homoerotic depictions
Archive: Generally yes, but please let me know where
Summary: The structural integrity of Rodney, Carson and Radek's threesome is tested mightily by the events surrounding "Misbegotten".
Spoilers/Season: End of Season 1, beginning of Season 2. This story is all about "Misbegotten" and much of what immediately precedes it ("Allies", "No Man's Land"). Some dialogue taken directly from the opening scene of "Misbegotten". Also, I'm calling it a sequel to "Coalescence", though I don't know that you'd need to read it to appreciate this.
Author's notes: One of the things I love about this show is how often you see that the characters realizing that they're in it waaay over their heads quite a bit. Carson Beckett does this especially well, and he's never looked so 'in-it-over-his-head' as he did sitting in the drone control chair at the beginning of "Misbegotten". This is the story that sprang from that moment.
Betas: Thanx to
ankhmutes for her usual excellent advice!In addition, when I suddenly realized that a big chunk of Radek backstory would be revealed in the last half of this story I thought it wise to consult with
dinofly as a local history and politics expert (well, more expert than me, anyway) and this story is tons better for her advice.Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, never will, not claiming to. Just wanna play with 'em a little. Can't I, can't I, huh?
Through the Eyes of Those Left Behind
by Taylor Dancinghands
Chapter 2: Radek Zelenka
They'd both tried to talk him out of going, and later, Rodney had done his manful best to try and talk Carson out of staying, but they'd both known that neither one of them had a leg to stand on. Carson hadn't even tried to talk Radek out of going with the Daedalus on its probable suicide mission, but Rodney was never one to take the passive option. Still, he'd known, as he confessed to Radek upon his return to Atlantis alone, that there would be no talking Dr. Carson Beckett out of his responsibility to his patients. It would not matter who they were or even who they had been.
There was no point in regretting this, as Carson's steadfast dedication to the ethics of his avocation were one of the things they both loved about him, and so the two scientists allowed themselves to become consumed with work (which was no difficulty with both a Wraith hive ship and the Daedalus to be put back in fighting trim) and spent short hours in bed, holding each other close and not sleeping at all. Two days passed in this manner, fueled by caffeine and tinged with slow burning anxiety, until the day that Rodney came storming into the labs in such a state of distress that all the alarm bells went off inside Radek.
"That hive ship needs to be running and battle-ready yesterday," were Rodney's first words, snapped out as soon he had the other scientists' attention. "We're heading back to the refugee station in ninety minutes, come hell or high water. Chen, Coleman, Sanchez, you're joining Simpson's team on the hive ship. The hyper-drive and the weapons' power systems will be ready in an hour and a half or you're going with us."
Us. Radek's heart sank to hear it, though he knew he should not have been surprised. Even if the teams at work on the hive ship now, with the reinforcements Rodney was sending, completed their tasks them in time (and they probably would -they had a powerful motivator), Radek knew that the weapons systems would still require hours of highly skilled labor before they were ready. Rodney now turned to address the software engineers, who were still working to improve the interface they'd need to control the hive ship's basic systems, issuing similar dictums to them, then he turned to Radek, taking him by the arm as he headed out of the lab.
"Walk with me," he said, and Radek complied without question.
"There's a Wraith hive ship headed right for the planet where we left Carson," Rodney began without preamble as they progressed down the corridor towards their quarters.
"Bože, ne!" Radek cried quietly, feeling his heart drop into his shoes.
"If we take the hive ship right now we can get there before they do," he continued, explaining what Radek was just working out, "but if we wait till the Daedalus is ready..."
Radek nodded, concentrating mainly on keeping pace with Rodney's hurried and longer legged gait. It was easier than focusing on the welter of conflicting feelings in his heart. Rodney's speed did not diminish in the least when they entered their quarters, as he tore through the place, gathering his field kit and pack, and all the various equipment and supplies he thought he'd need.
"You will need help getting the hive ship's weapons on line, yes?" Radek said as Rodney raced about their quarters.
"You can't come," Rodney answered him unequivocally, actually pausing in his flurry of activity to dump the bulging pack on the sofa and stand before Radek. "I need you working on the Daedalus, to shave as much time as you can off their repairs, because something tells me we're going to need them to show up and save our sorry asses and... and seconds could make a difference."
For just a moment Radek could see how frightened his lover was, and remembered how frightened he'd been when he'd had to tell Carson that he was going on the Daedalus to stop the hive ships headed towards Earth. He did as Carson had done then, stepping forward to take Rodney in his arms and hold him tight, kissing him with desperate passion. It was Rodney who broke it off, drawing back so that Radek could see the deep unhappiness revealed in the man's face, and Radek had to pull him back in for another embrace.
"Bring him back if you can, Rodney," Radek murmured into his ear, "but if you cannot, please bring yourself back. Prosim, milacku."
"I'll do everything I can," Rodney promised quietly, "I swear."
Rodney's eyes were a little too bright when they finally parted, and he turned away to shoulder his pack. "I have to go now," he said, moving towards the door.
Radek's throat ached, and for a moment he didn't trust himself to speak. "I know," he said at last, and then, "I love you, Rodney."
Rodney paused and reached back to touch Radek's face with his finger tips. "I..." he began, "well, you know... You too, I mean... I... I... love you, too... you know."
"I know," Radek said again, even more softly, ducking his head to hide the tears which he knew would come any second. "Tell Carson..."
"I will," Rodney said, sparing him having to say any more, and then he was gone.
Stumbling back to collapse heavily on the sofa as he watched the door close on his lover, Radek slipped his glasses off and finally gave way to tears.
As before, it was too easy for Radek to lose himself in what was really a great deal of very critical work. He was alone in the Daedalus' engine room sometime around four-fifteen the next morning when he heard a soft footfall and looked up to see Dr. Weir gazing over at the small island of light in the otherwise darkened room where Radek was toiling away. He waited for the chastisement, knowing already that he was well off his best game, lack of sleep and an excess of caffeine having ruined his concentration, but none came. It occurred to him then to wonder what it was that Dr. Weir was doing up and walking the empty corridors of the Daedalus at this hour, and it dawned on him that she was as beset as he was.
There was even, perhaps, a trace of envy in her gaze as she watched Radek work, however ineffectively, for he had a mountain of tasks before him and she had nothing to do but walk the empty corridors of her city and wait.
She nodded a brief greeting as he looked up from his work. "Radek," she said, acknowledging him and, to some extent, their shared worries.
"Elizabeth," he nodded back, his own voice rusty from his recent excesses. Elizabeth's gaze passed over the room, and for a moment it looked as though she were about to offer some sort of encouragement, but then she seemed to think the better of it, and after another moment, she walked on.
The Daedalus achieved sufficient readiness some hours later the next morning and Radek found himself firmly guided to the infirmary by Dr. Kusanagi, where he was given a sleeping pill by Dr. Biro and directed to his quarters. He woke nine hours later, certain that they would have learned nothing yet, and quickly discovered that he was right, much to his continued dismay. He took himself to the mess hall where dinner was being served, made a valiant effort to partake of some kind of nourishment and was soon joined by Dr. Weir, who seemed to be facing a similar challenge. Wordlessly, they dared each other, matched each other bite for bite, and soon found that they'd both consumed something like a decent meal.
The Daedalus finally made contact late that night, reporting that the hive ship had been lost, along with the entire contingent of marines from the planet, but that Carson had been rescued and damage control had (hopefully) been accomplished. This news was delivered to him by Dr. Weir who found him alone in the lab, staring at a schematic on his computer screen which he had not really been able to make any sense out of for hours now.
The relief upon hearing that Carson was alive and homeward bound was evident in his voice as he thanked her. He made himself leave the labs then, to go home and at least try and get some rest, but far too many troubling questions remained in Radek's mind for him to get any sleep. He showered and crawled into the very empty seeming bed and lay quietly in the dark, wanting sleep badly, but unable to let go of his worries enough to get so much as a wink.
***
Next comes the reunion and then the guilt -Oy the guilt!
(also lots comforts and some secrets from Radek's past!)