My mom wants me to wear all this girl stuff to Hawaii. She said if I wear boys swimwear, she won't be seen with me. I told her I'd compromise. Let me wear boys boardshorts, and she could pick the top.
I just went running for 30 minutes around my neighborhood, and the boat yard. Dude, it was rough. I am so out of shape. But I am going to see if I can put my dad's weight bench in my room. And we have this Gazelle thing that I can use, so I don't have to kill my body out in the snow. It was pretty though, running while it was snowing...
But I had to spit a lot. It was fun but it sucked too; spitting every five feet or so.
Now I have to go grocery shopping... I'm gonna by frozen yogurt, yogurt, veggies, and fruit.
Not that this is a new year resolution (I refuse to make them, because I ALWAYS break them), but I might as well start doing something now that I am motivated. I think this trying on bathing suits was a wake up call. I can't look good in them. I can't look the way I want. And I know that nothing will change by the time Hawaii comes, but maybe if I can keep this up, I will notice a change by the summer time.
I don't know what I want to do anymore. I don't know what I want to do about college in the fall; if I want to go back. I mean, I do. But I don't know what I want to do. Psychology is an easy way out... just to have something. But the job oppertunities are poor, and I would not be really happy doing it.
I talked to my mom about welding. It is an expressive art form. I think it would be fun to learn, and fun to create pieces of art.
I was thinking about job corps, but I don't qualify. I have a high school diploma, I've worked for years, and I have attended 2.5 years of college.
I love my music, but I can't make a career out of it... unless I did something like my sister, and audio production.
Bottom line... if I like Hawaii enough, I want to stay there, live in a shack on the beach, and scrape sea life off boats, and surf.
stressed