Welcome!
Ever wanted to Read what happened in Middle Earth before the War of the Ring? Couldn't get past the first chapter of the Simarillion because it was SO BORING? Well, I, Achika, the resident Silmarillion buff, am here to help YOU. I bring you the first installment of THE SILMARILLION IN 10 MINUTES. Beware the Crack
within the cut.
The Silmarillion in 10 Minutes
Chapter 21: The Tale of Turin Turambar
Morwen and Hurin: Yay! We're Married and Happy! We have a son! He'll be Lucky forever!
Morgoth: Hahahaha! Not for long!
Hurin goes off to war against Morgoth and gets kidnapped.
Morwen: :Pregnant with a daughter: Turin, I'll send you to the Elves! Bandits have taken over the city!
Turin: Ok! :goes to Doriath:
Beleg: Who are you, Man-child?
Turin: I'm Turin and I'm going to be the King's Foster son! Aren't I lucky?
Morgoth: I put a curse on your house, Hurin, for not giving me information! Only bad things will happen to your family from now on! SO Nyan!
Hurin: O Noez!
Morwen: :Has her Baby Girl named Nienor:
Turin: :grows up pretty pretty and strong:
Beleg: O_O. Woah Baby. Lets go hunt in the woods for three years.
Turin: Man am I LUCKY. :jumps into Beleg's arms:
They return. and Turin is Scruffy, Like Aragorn.
Saeros: Hahaha, "If all the Men of (your city) are so wild and fell, of what sort are the women? Do they run like deer clad only in their hair?" Hahaha Pwned!
Turin: :Throws a mug: hahaha! Who's pwned now, Biznitch?!
Saeros: :corners Turin in the woods: REVENGE!
Turin: :wrestles Saeros, strips him and runs him through the forest: Who's pwned now, Biznitch!?
Saeros: Oh the Shame and TerrorI feel! :jumps off a cliff:
Turin: Oh Crap. Run Away! Run Away! :runs off to be a bandit:
Thingol: :sad: It wasn't his fault and I want my boy back!
Beleg: Oh, I want him back to. I loved him well. Never Fear, Beleg is here! I shall find him!
Thingol: Yayz!11!1
Beleg: :to Bandits: Um...Take me to your Leader?
Bandits: :Beat him up and otherwise do 'evil and lawless deeds' to him: SPY!!!!
Turin: O NOZ!!!!111! :rescues!:
Beleg: :fails to persuade Turin to come back:
Turin: You can stay here, tho. Really! Don't mind at all!
Beleg: Uh, No. :leaves:
Thingol: Where's my boy?!
Beleg: He's a bandit. But I'll go protect him if you give me sword.
Thingol: OKayz! :gives sword:
Meilan: :gives the Magic Bread and an ominous warnign about the sword:
Beleg: :Ingores!:
Winter: :comes:
Turin and his bandits: :lives with a Dwarve who HATES ELVES OMG:
Bandits: OMG, who could be coming?
Beleg: :takes off his hood: Haha! It is I, Beleg Cuthalion!
Turin: JOY! :jumps in Beleg's arms:
Dwarve: :twtich: :glare:
Turin and Beleg: :Fights Evil!:
Dwarve: :betrays secrets OMG:
Morgoth: HAHA! I have found j00 son of Hurin! DIE! :sends minons!:
Bandits: :ded0rz:
Beleg: :alive:
Turin: :kidnapped by ORCS OMG!!!!:
Beleg: EVIL DWARVE! I KEEL YOU DED!!!! OMG NO! Turin gone! Must rescue and be valiant!
Gwindor: :is crippled elf Oh Noez!: I escaped from Morgoth's lair!
Beleg: Quiet! Must Find Turin and be Valiant!
Turin: :Asleep:
Clouds: :DAARK AND STORMY OMG!:
Beleg: I Found you! Yay! :cuts off Turin's bindings. But OMG on the last one he slips and nicks Turin! OMG NO!:
Turin: :Delirious: ARG! DIE EVIL!!!! :takes Beleg's sword and STABS HIM DEAD!:
Gwindor: WTF did you just do, man?!
Turin: :shock!!1!!: :stay silent forever-like omg!:
Gwindor: :takes him to Magical Lake by a Walled City!: Drink!
Turin: :has emotional breakdown after sipping the water and composes song for Beleg:
Gwindor: I saw your father in Morgoth's evil Lair of DOOM. He put a curse on your family!
Turin: True, True.
King of Walled City: Who be youz?
Gwindor: I'm Gwindor!
Turin: ...Call me the Bloodstained.
Elves: ....OK.....:back away slowly:
Princess Finduilas: OMG That the Bloodstained guy is HOT! :loves:
Gwindor: BAD IDEA! BAD IDEA! He's Really Turin son of Hurin and he;s got a curse OMG!
Finduilas: He doesn't love me!! :cries:
Dragon: :ATTACKS WALLED CITY OMG!!!!:
Almost everyone: :is dedorz:
Dragon: Hullo, Turin! :evil:
Turin: :hypnotized by Dragon: Runaway. Runaway.
Dragon: :attacks Morwen and her daughter Nienor (remember them? Yeah, Daughter's kinda important)
Nienor: AHHHHH! :runs and LOSES HER MEMORY OMG:
Turin: :encounters Nienor who he has never seen before: Pretty Lady in Distress? I shall Help Her!
Turin and Nienor: :get married:
Turin: That Dragon that attacked the Walled city is nearby? MUST KILL!
Nienor: Don't go!
Turin: I Ignore you! :goes with some men to beat the Dragon:
Turin: :injured:
Suitor for Nienor: He's Dead? OMG! :tells eveyone:
Nienor: :commits Suicide:
Turin: I'm not dead Yet.
Everyone: :scorns Suitor:
Turin: :Goes and Kills Dragon: OMG I've Killed to many people! BELEG!!!!
Sword: :EVIL LAUGH:
Turin: :commits Suicide:
The End.
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within the cut.
The Silmarillion in 10 Minutes
Chapter 21: The Tale of Turin Turambar
Morwen and Hurin: Yay! We're Married and Happy! We have a son! He'll be Lucky forever!
Morgoth: Hahahaha! Not for long!
Hurin goes off to war against Morgoth and gets kidnapped.
Morwen: :Pregnant with a daughter: Turin, I'll send you to the Elves! Bandits have taken over the city!
Turin: Ok! :goes to Doriath:
Beleg: Who are you, Man-child?
Turin: I'm Turin and I'm going to be the King's Foster son! Aren't I lucky?
Morgoth: I put a curse on your house, Hurin, for not giving me information! Only bad things will happen to your family from now on! SO Nyan!
Hurin: O Noez!
Morwen: :Has her Baby Girl named Nienor:
Turin: :grows up pretty pretty and strong:
Beleg: O_O. Woah Baby. Lets go hunt in the woods for three years.
Turin: Man am I LUCKY. :jumps into Beleg's arms:
They return. and Turin is Scruffy, Like Aragorn.
Saeros: Hahaha, "If all the Men of (your city) are so wild and fell, of what sort are the women? Do they run like deer clad only in their hair?" Hahaha Pwned!
Turin: :Throws a mug: hahaha! Who's pwned now, Biznitch?!
Saeros: :corners Turin in the woods: REVENGE!
Turin: :wrestles Saeros, strips him and runs him through the forest: Who's pwned now, Biznitch!?
Saeros: Oh the Shame and TerrorI feel! :jumps off a cliff:
Turin: Oh Crap. Run Away! Run Away! :runs off to be a bandit:
Thingol: :sad: It wasn't his fault and I want my boy back!
Beleg: Oh, I want him back to. I loved him well. Never Fear, Beleg is here! I shall find him!
Thingol: Yayz!11!1
Beleg: :to Bandits: Um...Take me to your Leader?
Bandits: :Beat him up and otherwise do 'evil and lawless deeds' to him: SPY!!!!
Turin: O NOZ!!!!111! :rescues!:
Beleg: :fails to persuade Turin to come back:
Turin: You can stay here, tho. Really! Don't mind at all!
Beleg: Uh, No. :leaves:
Thingol: Where's my boy?!
Beleg: He's a bandit. But I'll go protect him if you give me sword.
Thingol: OKayz! :gives sword:
Meilan: :gives the Magic Bread and an ominous warnign about the sword:
Beleg: :Ingores!:
Winter: :comes:
Turin and his bandits: :lives with a Dwarve who HATES ELVES OMG:
Bandits: OMG, who could be coming?
Beleg: :takes off his hood: Haha! It is I, Beleg Cuthalion!
Turin: JOY! :jumps in Beleg's arms:
Dwarve: :twtich: :glare:
Turin and Beleg: :Fights Evil!:
Dwarve: :betrays secrets OMG:
Morgoth: HAHA! I have found j00 son of Hurin! DIE! :sends minons!:
Bandits: :ded0rz:
Beleg: :alive:
Turin: :kidnapped by ORCS OMG!!!!:
Beleg: EVIL DWARVE! I KEEL YOU DED!!!! OMG NO! Turin gone! Must rescue and be valiant!
Gwindor: :is crippled elf Oh Noez!: I escaped from Morgoth's lair!
Beleg: Quiet! Must Find Turin and be Valiant!
Turin: :Asleep:
Clouds: :DAARK AND STORMY OMG!:
Beleg: I Found you! Yay! :cuts off Turin's bindings. But OMG on the last one he slips and nicks Turin! OMG NO!:
Turin: :Delirious: ARG! DIE EVIL!!!! :takes Beleg's sword and STABS HIM DEAD!:
Gwindor: WTF did you just do, man?!
Turin: :shock!!1!!: :stay silent forever-like omg!:
Gwindor: :takes him to Magical Lake by a Walled City!: Drink!
Turin: :has emotional breakdown after sipping the water and composes song for Beleg:
Gwindor: I saw your father in Morgoth's evil Lair of DOOM. He put a curse on your family!
Turin: True, True.
King of Walled City: Who be youz?
Gwindor: I'm Gwindor!
Turin: ...Call me the Bloodstained.
Elves: ....OK.....:back away slowly:
Princess Finduilas: OMG That the Bloodstained guy is HOT! :loves:
Gwindor: BAD IDEA! BAD IDEA! He's Really Turin son of Hurin and he;s got a curse OMG!
Finduilas: He doesn't love me!! :cries:
Dragon: :ATTACKS WALLED CITY OMG!!!!:
Almost everyone: :is dedorz:
Dragon: Hullo, Turin! :evil:
Turin: :hypnotized by Dragon: Runaway. Runaway.
Dragon: :attacks Morwen and her daughter Nienor (remember them? Yeah, Daughter's kinda important)
Nienor: AHHHHH! :runs and LOSES HER MEMORY OMG:
Turin: :encounters Nienor who he has never seen before: Pretty Lady in Distress? I shall Help Her!
Turin and Nienor: :get married:
Turin: That Dragon that attacked the Walled city is nearby? MUST KILL!
Nienor: Don't go!
Turin: I Ignore you! :goes with some men to beat the Dragon:
Turin: :injured:
Suitor for Nienor: He's Dead? OMG! :tells eveyone:
Nienor: :commits Suicide:
Turin: I'm not dead Yet.
Everyone: :scorns Suitor:
Turin: :Goes and Kills Dragon: OMG I've Killed to many people! BELEG!!!!
Sword: :EVIL LAUGH:
Turin: :commits Suicide:
The End.
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