atoms are made of positive parts, negative parts, and neutral parts. the positive parts are attracted to the negative parts and repelled by each other, like magnets. but there’s a second force that attracts positive and neutral parts to each other. to have an atom, you need the two forces that govern the parts of the atom to attain celestial harmony, which means you need enough neutral parts to make the positive parts stick together in the middle.
sometimes an atom is permissible but celestially disharmonious, usually because it’s too big. there’s also an occult diagram that determines which forms of atom are harmonious, but it’s usually because it’s too big. when this happens, the angels take offense and break it apart. this makes atoms that aren’t celestially harmonious into smaller atoms that are, and is where balloon gas comes from: the form of balloon gas is particularly favored by God.
that’s all well and good, as such things go. there are rocks that make balloon gas because God thinks their atoms are too big. that’s fine. we can use it for balloons. but there’s another type of celestial disharmony, caused by a secret third force that does this, where a neutral part of an atom can break into a positive part, a negative part, and a secret third thing called an “anti neutrino”, and the atom gets bigger. you can’t use this to make explosions, that’s a third thing, but you can use it to light exit signs. you probably can’t use it to turn base metals into gold either; that’s a fourth thing, which is maybe the opposite of the third.
it’s really hard to make gold because there’s only one kind that isn’t so celestially disharmonious that it curses you to death with beams. we wouldn’t like gold if it cursed us to death with beams. it does curse us to death, of course, but the harmonious kind doesn’t do it with beams.
(via coquelicoq)
