In which we read court literature
So, in French Lit we are reading Marie de France's Lanval
The epic, let me show you it:
Lanval: Woe is me! King Arther was giving out presents, and I did not get one! How could he forget me, as I am the son of a King who lives Very Far Away, and am so vallent, generous, and beautiful? I am going to ride my horse to the river and heroically sulk!
Horse: Dude, you suck. I'm going to dump you and wander away and leave you here to be emo by yourself.
Two Gorgeous Women: Hey! Lanval, our mistress wants to talk to you. You will go because she is sexy.
Lanval: Sweet! Someone recognizes my awesomeness!
Hot Faerie: Lanval, I have come from a place Very Far Away to have sex with you. If you promise not to tell anyone about me, I'll have sex with you every night, because I am a Faerie, and thus do not have periods, or ever get pregnant. But if you ever tell anyone about me, you'll never see me again.
Lanval: I can totally keep my trap shut that I'm having nightly sex with an extremely hot woman.
Queen Guinevere: Lanval, you are the best looking of my husband's knights. Have sex with me tonight.
Lanval: Sorry Queen, I have a hotter woman to have sex with than you.
Queen Guinevere: Arther! Lavnal tried to rape me! When I protested, he then said his girlfriend is prettier than me!
Arther: He said his girlfriend was hotter than you? Arrest that man!
Jury of Old Men: He said his girlfriend was sexier than the queen? These are Very Serious Charges.
Lanval: Woe is me!
Two Gorgeous Women: Better make up your guest room, our Super Sexy Mistress is coming to town.
Hot Faerie: As you can see, I am far sexier than the queen.
Jury of Old Men: We agree, she's sexier than the queen. All charges against Lanval must be dropped.
Lanval: You were mean to me! I'm riding away with my Hot Faerie and you'll never see me again!
The End.
...
Yeah. That's pretty much it. The whole rape thing? Never heard of again.
The epic, let me show you it:
Lanval: Woe is me! King Arther was giving out presents, and I did not get one! How could he forget me, as I am the son of a King who lives Very Far Away, and am so vallent, generous, and beautiful? I am going to ride my horse to the river and heroically sulk!
Horse: Dude, you suck. I'm going to dump you and wander away and leave you here to be emo by yourself.
Two Gorgeous Women: Hey! Lanval, our mistress wants to talk to you. You will go because she is sexy.
Lanval: Sweet! Someone recognizes my awesomeness!
Hot Faerie: Lanval, I have come from a place Very Far Away to have sex with you. If you promise not to tell anyone about me, I'll have sex with you every night, because I am a Faerie, and thus do not have periods, or ever get pregnant. But if you ever tell anyone about me, you'll never see me again.
Lanval: I can totally keep my trap shut that I'm having nightly sex with an extremely hot woman.
Queen Guinevere: Lanval, you are the best looking of my husband's knights. Have sex with me tonight.
Lanval: Sorry Queen, I have a hotter woman to have sex with than you.
Queen Guinevere: Arther! Lavnal tried to rape me! When I protested, he then said his girlfriend is prettier than me!
Arther: He said his girlfriend was hotter than you? Arrest that man!
Jury of Old Men: He said his girlfriend was sexier than the queen? These are Very Serious Charges.
Lanval: Woe is me!
Two Gorgeous Women: Better make up your guest room, our Super Sexy Mistress is coming to town.
Hot Faerie: As you can see, I am far sexier than the queen.
Jury of Old Men: We agree, she's sexier than the queen. All charges against Lanval must be dropped.
Lanval: You were mean to me! I'm riding away with my Hot Faerie and you'll never see me again!
The End.
...
Yeah. That's pretty much it. The whole rape thing? Never heard of again.