my friend code is SW-8048-5151-0824 if you want to add me 💛

Well guys, this is it.

At noon today I go in for top surgery.

im having a hard time realizing this is real and is actually a thing that come true. i can’t beleive that after a lifetime of having my body be a certain way and just kinda dealing with it, hiding it, that i can present myself authentically without making any extra steps. Thats crazy to me.

Whats even more crazy tho has been the outpouring of love and support from you guys. I owe a good portion of my confidence and security to you guys for all your kind words and reblogs over the years. the asks, the messages, the tags, i read em all and boy howdy y'all are a good group of people. Kindness binds us together so im glad to have met each one of you. I’ll see ya on the flip side guys and thanks for helping me get this weight off my chest 🤙🤙🤙

FINALLY GOT COMMUNITIES

"...blessed with the gift."

Honestly this pisses me off. I was not magically born possessing the ability to make what I make. I've been making plush for over a decade, constantly learning, pushing myself, working my ass off to make them better and better. Every single one I make is still a challenge. I'm not "drowning" in plushies because they're freaking hard to make and take forever to put together, not to mention their materials are expensive.

Every artist I know has worked super hard to get to where they are. Don't discredit their blood sweat and tears by saying their hard work was just magically bestowed upon them as a "gift."

ALT

ALT

One of my first plush, next to my latest (2022). Before even making that dragon I'd already been drawing and making 3D art for years, plus did a lot of plush research.

Another reason I hate this mentality is because it discourages people from trying art themselves. "Oh I'm not talented like you." BS. While it's true some people might have personalities more suited to tedious work, or better hand-eye coordination (that can be improved too btw) or whatever, it's a myth that you have to have talent to succeed at any task. You just have to work for it. Everyone does, even the very best artists.

We're all born knowing nothing. Just because my chosen passion is art doesn't mean the ability to make it was handed to me. You can also cultivate passion and pursue the skills you'd like to have, but you have to be willing to start at ground zero and build up.

Anyway. Go pursue your passions, and recognize the hard work behind other people's "talent." And bless every one of y'all who notes that you've been inspired by my art, may you go and kick ass in your endeavors.

ALT

First 3D plush (dolphin) with a recent fox (2022).

i don't know what aspect of autism this is or if it's just me being arrogant but the absolute blinding rage i feel over something this insignificant has Got to be a symptom idk

at work rn we're working on a very large foam sculpture for an event that has to do with a medusa head topping an entranceway, and i do mean it's Massive, like 8ft across or something. The client sent us a 3D rendering of the sculpt that they want us to follow and i seem to be the only one bothered by it.

The face itself is fine, the anatomy is a little wonky but it looks like what it's supposed to look like, but the snakes... dear lord the Snakes

there's no rhyme or reason to where they are placed or where they originate from the head, NO thought was given to how an actual snakes body moves or bends and they all ended up looking like squeezed out toothpaste or entrails, there's no flow to the design, there's WAY TOO MANY OF THEM for our small shop to sculpt by hand, NO thought was given as to how people were actually supposed to sculpt it so that it lines up with the wall/entryway it's being mounted to, they all look like sock puppets and overall the whole job is a mess from the beginning!!!!

I feel myself being paralyzed by all of these issues, unable to move forward without fixing them, esp since my questions of "how are we making this fit to it's frame without the frame itself" being met with a noncomittal "eh, we'll make it work, just do your best"

i have had my whole workflow disrupted by this and all of the other sculptors seem to not notice how WRONG it is!!! it's wrongggggg!!!!!!

im not trying to be a like... uh, art snob or something condescending about this but i find the whole design ugly and not worth making in its current form and that might be diagnosable idk, i guess i just need to learn how to turn off the part in my brain that cares about that and do it ugly i guess ???

i saw god today