Strange Things
I guess I'm in a bit of a better mood today.
Strange fics abound.
Bewaaaaare!
Title: Questions – Dialog fic
Author: Kelly
Pairing: Craig/?
Disclaimer: Don’t own him, sadly. I am Craig-less.
Summary: Ever keep answering someone’s questions with other questions? This was a little conversation thing that was going on in my Live Journal and I thought it was worth making into a little fic!
Author’s Notes: Whee! Completely pointless, but whee!
Questions
"Craig?"
"Yes?"
"What do you want to do tonight?"
"What do you mean?"
“I mean, what do you want to do?”
“Tonight?”
"What...why are you answering all of my questions with another question?"
"Am I?"
"It's very annoying. Would you stop please?"
"Am I bothering you?"
*smack* "Knock it off."
"Hey. That wasn't a question. You threw off the pattern."
"It was annoying."
"Was not. I was having fun."
"I think I know other ways to have fun."
"Like wh—oooooh! I know!" *creeps in closer and touches his nose to yours* "You mean seksssssssss!"
"You know, you're quite intelligent when you want to be."
"When I want to be?"
"Mm."
"Be nice to me, or I’ll..."
"...or you’ll what?"
"Or, I'll not kiss you."
"Ever?"
"Ever."
"Craig?"
"Yes?"
"You’re a big meanie, aren’t you?"
“Am I?”
“Knock it off.”
~The End~
Title: Nice Breasts
Author: Kelly
Pairing: Craig/Me
Disclaimer: Never happened, except in my head.
Summary: This came from a little conversation in my Live Journal. It was just so cute that I had to put it up here as a mini-fic.
Author’s Notes: Thanks to Laura, who inspired it and made me feel better last night. Mwah!
Nice Breasts
Laura: Ooh nice pics! Psst...tell Craig I like his breasts *g* He's got a nice set, that boy :)
Kelly: Next time I stay over at his house, I'll let him know:
Me: Hey, babe? Lars wanted me to tell you that you have nice breasts.
Craig: *looks down at them* Do I?
Me: Yeah, she says you've got quite the set.
Craig: *pulls shirt taut around his chest* Yeah, I guess I do.
Me: *smiling proudly* See? All that grumbling about working out, and it's really paid off.
Craig: Mm. Tell her that she has nice ones too.
Me: You would know?
Craig: No, not me. I know through a mutual friend. Was bragging, him.
Me: Who?
Craig: Mm...last I checked it was on a need to know basis, and your name wasn't on the list of those who need to know.
Me: Make a new list. I wanna know.
Craig: *beams brightly* What will you give me if I do?
Me: A hot fudge sundae?
Craig: Meh. *shrugs, one shoulder*
Me: A...new...stereo?
Craig: Sorry...
Me: World-class blowjob?
Craig: KARL! *calms and smiles* It was Karl.
~The End~
Title: Wiener – Dialog Fic
Author: Kelly
Pairing: Craig/?
Disclaimer: Don’t own ‘em. Never have, never will.
Summary: Craig’s a wiener. *giggles*
Author’s Notes: This was inspired by something that Craig actually said to a fan when she gave him a medal that declared, “You’re A Winner!”
Wiener
“Look. Someone gave me a medal today.”
“Thank God. Were you finally Knighted?”
“What?”
“Shall I hereforth call you Sir Craigeth the Brave?”
“Smart ass. Look at it.”
“Aw, ‘You’re a Winner.’ That was sweet of them.”
“I’m a winner!”
“Yep.”
“A wiener.”
“Oh, God. You didn’t actually say that to them, did you?”
“I did! They thought it was funny. I’m a wiener!”
“That you are.”
“Heh. *pause* Wait. Did you just call me a wiener?”
“Mm, no I believe you just called yourself a wiener.”
“But, you agreed.”
“I did.”
“Which means you think I’m a wiener.”
“No. It means I think that you think you’re a wiener.”
“But I don’t think that I’m a wiener.”
“Don’t you?”
“No. *pause* Do I?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Me either.”
“One thing’s clear.”
“What?”
“You’ah a weenah!”
“Weirdo.”
“Wiener.”
~The End~
Title: Silent
Author: Kelly
Pairing: Craig/?
Disclaimer: I am now, and forever shall be, Craigless. This never happened.
Summary: Giving the silent treatment.
Author’s Notes: Please don’t ask where these are coming from. I’m just putting them down as they pop into my head. Maybe I crave for real, human conversation, I don’t know. Although…this isn’t much of a conversation. But anyway…
Silent
“Hi.”
“…”
“H—what?”
“…”
“What’s wrong?”
“…”
“What? Why are you just staring at me?”
“…”
“What’d I do?”
“…”
“Oh, come on. Tell me.”
“…”
“Look, if I’ve done something, I think you at least should tell me so that I can fix it.”
“…”
“What, damn it?”
“…”
“Wha—alright…you want a confession? Is that it? Should I confess to something? Something bad I’ve done. Yes?”
“…”
“Fine.”
“…”
“I…alright. I…I licked it.”
“Ew! Craig! You licked what?”
“Ha! Made you talk!”
“I wasn’t trying to be a mute, you ninny.”
“Still. I win.”
“What did you lick so that I know what to go disinfect? Germ-head.”
“Nothing. I just said that to get you to talk.”
“You liar. You licked something. What was it?”
“You.”
“…”
“What? I did!”
“…”
“Oh, come on. Not the silent thing again.”
“Lick me and maybe I’ll talk.”
“Didn’t you just?”
“…”
“Oh, alright, I’m sorry!”
~The End~
Strange fics abound.
Bewaaaaare!
Title: Questions – Dialog fic
Author: Kelly
Pairing: Craig/?
Disclaimer: Don’t own him, sadly. I am Craig-less.
Summary: Ever keep answering someone’s questions with other questions? This was a little conversation thing that was going on in my Live Journal and I thought it was worth making into a little fic!
Author’s Notes: Whee! Completely pointless, but whee!
"Craig?"
"Yes?"
"What do you want to do tonight?"
"What do you mean?"
“I mean, what do you want to do?”
“Tonight?”
"What...why are you answering all of my questions with another question?"
"Am I?"
"It's very annoying. Would you stop please?"
"Am I bothering you?"
*smack* "Knock it off."
"Hey. That wasn't a question. You threw off the pattern."
"It was annoying."
"Was not. I was having fun."
"I think I know other ways to have fun."
"Like wh—oooooh! I know!" *creeps in closer and touches his nose to yours* "You mean seksssssssss!"
"You know, you're quite intelligent when you want to be."
"When I want to be?"
"Mm."
"Be nice to me, or I’ll..."
"...or you’ll what?"
"Or, I'll not kiss you."
"Ever?"
"Ever."
"Craig?"
"Yes?"
"You’re a big meanie, aren’t you?"
“Am I?”
“Knock it off.”
Title: Nice Breasts
Author: Kelly
Pairing: Craig/Me
Disclaimer: Never happened, except in my head.
Summary: This came from a little conversation in my Live Journal. It was just so cute that I had to put it up here as a mini-fic.
Author’s Notes: Thanks to Laura, who inspired it and made me feel better last night. Mwah!
Laura: Ooh nice pics! Psst...tell Craig I like his breasts *g* He's got a nice set, that boy :)
Kelly: Next time I stay over at his house, I'll let him know:
Me: Hey, babe? Lars wanted me to tell you that you have nice breasts.
Craig: *looks down at them* Do I?
Me: Yeah, she says you've got quite the set.
Craig: *pulls shirt taut around his chest* Yeah, I guess I do.
Me: *smiling proudly* See? All that grumbling about working out, and it's really paid off.
Craig: Mm. Tell her that she has nice ones too.
Me: You would know?
Craig: No, not me. I know through a mutual friend. Was bragging, him.
Me: Who?
Craig: Mm...last I checked it was on a need to know basis, and your name wasn't on the list of those who need to know.
Me: Make a new list. I wanna know.
Craig: *beams brightly* What will you give me if I do?
Me: A hot fudge sundae?
Craig: Meh. *shrugs, one shoulder*
Me: A...new...stereo?
Craig: Sorry...
Me: World-class blowjob?
Craig: KARL! *calms and smiles* It was Karl.
Title: Wiener – Dialog Fic
Author: Kelly
Pairing: Craig/?
Disclaimer: Don’t own ‘em. Never have, never will.
Summary: Craig’s a wiener. *giggles*
Author’s Notes: This was inspired by something that Craig actually said to a fan when she gave him a medal that declared, “You’re A Winner!”
“Look. Someone gave me a medal today.”
“Thank God. Were you finally Knighted?”
“What?”
“Shall I hereforth call you Sir Craigeth the Brave?”
“Smart ass. Look at it.”
“Aw, ‘You’re a Winner.’ That was sweet of them.”
“I’m a winner!”
“Yep.”
“A wiener.”
“Oh, God. You didn’t actually say that to them, did you?”
“I did! They thought it was funny. I’m a wiener!”
“That you are.”
“Heh. *pause* Wait. Did you just call me a wiener?”
“Mm, no I believe you just called yourself a wiener.”
“But, you agreed.”
“I did.”
“Which means you think I’m a wiener.”
“No. It means I think that you think you’re a wiener.”
“But I don’t think that I’m a wiener.”
“Don’t you?”
“No. *pause* Do I?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Me either.”
“One thing’s clear.”
“What?”
“You’ah a weenah!”
“Weirdo.”
“Wiener.”
Title: Silent
Author: Kelly
Pairing: Craig/?
Disclaimer: I am now, and forever shall be, Craigless. This never happened.
Summary: Giving the silent treatment.
Author’s Notes: Please don’t ask where these are coming from. I’m just putting them down as they pop into my head. Maybe I crave for real, human conversation, I don’t know. Although…this isn’t much of a conversation. But anyway…
“Hi.”
“…”
“H—what?”
“…”
“What’s wrong?”
“…”
“What? Why are you just staring at me?”
“…”
“What’d I do?”
“…”
“Oh, come on. Tell me.”
“…”
“Look, if I’ve done something, I think you at least should tell me so that I can fix it.”
“…”
“What, damn it?”
“…”
“Wha—alright…you want a confession? Is that it? Should I confess to something? Something bad I’ve done. Yes?”
“…”
“Fine.”
“…”
“I…alright. I…I licked it.”
“Ew! Craig! You licked what?”
“Ha! Made you talk!”
“I wasn’t trying to be a mute, you ninny.”
“Still. I win.”
“What did you lick so that I know what to go disinfect? Germ-head.”
“Nothing. I just said that to get you to talk.”
“You liar. You licked something. What was it?”
“You.”
“…”
“What? I did!”
“…”
“Oh, come on. Not the silent thing again.”
“Lick me and maybe I’ll talk.”
“Didn’t you just?”
“…”
“Oh, alright, I’m sorry!”