Crossover Fic: Backstreet's Back part IV
Title: Backstreet's Back
Author: luxshine
Artist:
aceetha
Pairing: Kevin / Chris UST. Sorta.
Rating/Warnings: G, really. No, trust me on that one.
Word count: 20,853
Summary: To keep Kristen happy, Kevin decides to retire from the Backstreet Boys, but when the others realize they really need a fifth voice, Kevin’s life becomes a complete chaos as the one chosen to become the new fifth BSB is none other than Chris.
I'd like to thankmilosflaca who helped me a lot, especially with the final scenes that were a complete mess and so, that last bit? Consider it co-written for all the phonecalls that went between us. To bubbleforest for all her patience, and I'm very sorry I was a day late. I hate my work sometimes, but I did finish. To otherdeb who betaed the first 8.000 or so words, before my computer and rl troubles ate my time, and to musiclover03 and ravenbat because they encoruaged me to follow this bunny.
Link to gorgeous cover art: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v140/aceetha/luxshine001.jpg
“What do you have to say about Kevin Richardson’s remarks about Chris’s involvement in the Backstreet Boys?”
The question had caught the group by surprise during the press release before their Hong Kong concert. They had tried to play it off, ignore it and go to the next question, but reporters were like sharks. They rarely leave the uncomfortable questions unasked.
AJ and Nick answered honestly that Kevin hadn’t seen the show, so he was probably talking about one of their studio sessions, before the sound of the band was completely defined.
“So when Richardson said that Chris made a career of following his footsteps, he wasn’t calling him a copy-cat?”
Brian clamped up, and looked at Chris. It was as bad as the time a reporter had asked them if ‘Backstreet Boys’ was named as a pornographic reference, when Kevin had completely blocked out the interviewer. Because whatever they answered, they would end up hurting one of their friends: either they backed Kevin up, acknowledging that he wasn’t thinking straight due to his marriage issues, or they backed Chris up, and made Kevin look like a sore loser. A no win situation, a Mexican stand-off.
Brian hated those, and he wanted nothing more than going to his room, call Lieghanne and forget the whole press conference.
“No, I’m pretty sure he meant that I’m a fast learner,” Chris answered, drawing attention to him. “No offense to you guys, but I haven’t read a single article where what we say is quoted word by word so... Kevin surely said something completely different and it got mangled because it makes good headlines.”
“But you can’t be sure,” the first reporter insisted. “After all, he has a history of rivalry with you since 1997, given that you both were the oldest members in your respective groups.”
“And if we’re to believe everything that it’s printed about what we said, I’ve dated half of the Playboy bunnies,” Chris said calmly. “And Lance, and Joey, and Howie here, and probably a dozen or so that I’m forgetting now. I assure you, Kevin was one hundred percent on board of the change, he even helped us with some of the studio sessions, and if it sounds different is because it’s very easy to put things out of context when looking for some news.”
That seemed to finally close the uncomfortable line of questioning, and soon things were back in more normal tracks. But Brian couldn’t shake the feeling that they had just dodged a big cannonball.
Which was why he wasn’t surprised when Howie asked Chris to go and talk with him alone once the press conference was over and they were walking to their respective rooms.
* * *
“What was that?” Howie asked as soon as Chris crossed the door to his hotel room.
“A press conference. I thought you would recognize one, since you’ve done so many,” Chris answered, jokingly, sitting down on the king size bed.
“Spare me the Leslie Nielsen’s reference,” Howie started the water heater, and turned to see Chris. “I’ve never seen you defend anyone as hard as you defended Kevin today, what gives?”
“It’s just as I said, he was probably misquoted, why are you on my case about this?” Chris shrugged, laying down on the bed. “Hey, this mattress is far more confortable than mine. Wanna swap rooms?”
“We’re not swapping rooms,” Howie sat down next to Chris. “Chirs, I’ve seen you chow the head of your own bandmates when they say something stupid. You’ve badmouthed *Lance* who is one of your closest friends, when you thought he was an idiot about his life and now that Kevin outright insults you, you make it look as if he’s a victim? Come on!”
“I just thought you all wouldn’t want me bad mouthing him!” Chris defended himself, closing his eyes. Howie was pretty sure Chris was trying to avoid the subject, which was a very good reason to try and pursue it. It wasn’t like Chris to be that evasive. “Next time, I’ll make sure everyone knows that I think Kevin is a jerk.”
“Stop acting so childish,” Howie admonished. “I swear, some days you act worse than Nick did at thirteen.”
“Try Justin at fourteen, and you got me,” Chris shrugged. “Look, it’s nothing. I just got tired of the press trying to get us to fight just because it sells magazines. That’s it.”
“No,” Howie shook his head, smiling as the picture started to make sense in his head. “If it was the case you would’ve chewed out the reporter’s heads, not defended Kevin... you really wanted to clear Kevin out of the misunderstanding...”
“Howie...” Chris sat down again, looking troubled. “Don’t go there.”
“You don’t want anyone starting a feud between you and Kevin,” Howie continued, not really paying attention, and he smiled as suddenly Chris’s attitude made sense. At least, to someone who had witnessed Chris’s very brief romance to one of the guys who was unlucky enough to be part of both the original band that played for the Backstreet Boys in 1997, and then of *N Sync’s back up band in 1998. “You have a crush on Kevin!”
“Don’t say that so loud,” Chris motioned for him to shut up. “I don’t want to make things awkward with Brian just because his cousin happens to be my type.”
“Brian won’t care,” Howie stood up, and acting impulsively for once, went to the open door. “Hey, Brian! Chris has a crush on Kevin!”
Before Chris could strangle Howie, Brian opened the door to his room, phone in hand, smiling.
“Everyone has a crush on Kevin, at least for five minutes,” Brian laughed. “It’s a requirement or something. Even Lieghanne had a crush on Kevin, before we married.”
“She did?” Chris looked out of the door, as if he was still cautious that Brian wasn’t taking Howie’s indiscretion with humor.
“For five minutes, before she met me,” Brian smiled, covering the mouthpiece of his cellphone. “And so did AJ, and he’s the straightest man on earth, so it’s ok. Even if you just made Nick lose a bet.”
“A bet?” Chris looked at Howie who shrugged. He had forgotten that bet between AJ and Nick, back in 2000.
“They thought it would be JC or Lance the first *N Syncer to admit Kevin was hot. You know, long boring bus drives make interesting bets.”
As Chris nodded, Howie decided to let the subject drop for now. The fact that Chris was really attracted to Kevin was not that unusual, just as he and Brian had said. But the attitude that Chris was taking regarding Kevin’s short temper was.
Just in case, Howie decided to try and keep a close eye on his friend.
* * *
As Kristen promised, the divorce papers arrived a week after Kevin spent quite some time trying to apologize for his harsh words about Chris. Chris’s diplomatic answer had given Kevin some ammunition, and the way in which Chris had chosen to interpret Kevin’s words were now the official version in almost all news outlets with the exception of the seedier blogs which were delighted in trying to fan the flames of the old band war.
The divorce itself was far painless than what Kevin expected. The papers arrived, he read them carefully, but Kristen had been true to her word. She wasn’t asking for anything from Kevin, except the agreement to dissolve their marriage. And while Kevin had gotten himself a lawyer and made sure that everything was really as clear as it seemed, he was almost sure that he would be single again by the time the Backstreet Boys returned for their North American tour.
Which was the reason why he was going out almost every night. While he wasn’t exactly looking for someone to replace Kristen, he was tired of his empty house. Almost daily clubbing distracted him from his thoughts.
What he forgot was that the show business was in fact a very small business, where everyone knew everybody else and thus it was very hard to do anything without bumping into anyone who knew someone. And while he knew there was no chance of meeting his ex-bandmates, he should’ve remembered that Chris’s ex-bandmates were still in the United States, and that one of them was quite fond of the nightlife.
The one that hated Kevin, and had recently broke up with yet another boyfriend so wasn’t in the mood to pull his punches.
Things would’ve probably not gone farther than very polite and slightly forced greetings if it wasn’t because Kevin forgot himself and asked Lance what he thought of the Backstreet Boys’s last album.
“You just couldn’t keep it to yourself, could you?” Lance answered, his voice low enough to be well hidden under the music of the club. Only Kevin would hear him, in case there were curious ears around.
“Lance, it was a simple question...” Kevin started but Lance interrupted him before he could get any further.
“Don’t even try, Kevin,” Lance said, obviously angry. “I have heard enough of your non-insults to know that you just can’t stand us, and I’m not going to give you any ammunition against Chris.”
“What are you talking about?” Kevin frowned. Now that he thought about it, Lance sounded a little drunk.
“I’m talking about you saying that he’s only following on your steps,” Lance retorted. “Honestly, what has Chris ever done to you? I can understand the whole hating our band because you wanted to feel as if somehow Backstreet Boys had invented a concept as old as dirt, but Chris? Have you ever said something at least decent about him?”
“He’s a great singer,” Kevin defended himself, not quite sure of where this discussion was going. “And honestly, he sounds great with the group. That’s all I meant when I asked you...”
“Yeah, right,” Lance scoffed. “Look Richardson... I have no idea why Chris feels he has to defend your reputation, but you better start being really careful about what you say around the press. He’s trying to do something good with the group you abandoned, and you should be grateful of that.”
It was at that point when Kevin realized that Lance was probably talking about something besides his own careless remarks regarding Chris and decided to cut his losses before Lance said something that Kevin wasn’t supposed to know.
“You’re right,” he said, interrupting Lance’s rant.
“Of course I’m right,” Lance agreed, smiling and looking very pleased with himself. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Apologize to Chris, of course.”
* * *
The only warning Chris got that his day was going to turn upside down once the Asian/Latin American leg of the Backstreet Boys’ tour ended was a couple dozen messages from Lance in his answering machine. Messages that Chris promptly erased without listening making a mental note of calling Lance as soon as he had his breath back. He had to admit that as much as he had missed touring, by the third week he missed his house more.
So to relax, he had decided to spend a whole day in his game room, doing absolutely nothing before he had to head out with the group for a new round of interviews and shows before the winter break.
He really didn’t expect Kevin to ring his doorbell at noon. He didn’t even know that the other man knew where he lived.
“Kevin, hi.” Chris opened the door, even if what he wanted was to hide inside and pretend he wasn’t home. “What can I do for you?”
“Can we talk, Chris?” Kevin asked, looking far more serious than usual. Chris didn’t know Kevin very well –in fact, and due to the stubborn voice in the back of his mind that constantly brought up Kevin as one of the guys in the business that probably was very good in bed, Chris tried not to get to know Kevin. A harmless crush was one thing, and the less he did to feed it, the better- but he thought that he had never seen Kevin looking quite like that. As a man ready to undertake a very complicated and painful task.
“Sure, come in,” Chris moved to let Kevin in. It was the first time the other Backstreet Boy was there. Howie had been welcomed at the house since Chris bought it, Nick had come over a couple of times. Since Chris joined the Backstreet Boys, AJ and Brian had also come on occasion and in fact, track ten of Unbreakable had been recorded at Chris’s studio. But Kevin had never been there.
“Nice house,” Kevin commented, as Chris led him to the living room.
“You should see Joey’s.” Chris shrugged. “He has an inner pool with air conditioner just for it.”
And that was it. Finding subjects to talk to with Kevin was hard, because Chris had no idea what Kevin wanted, and the whole thing was starting to be awkward. He offered Kevin a coke, Kevin asked if he had Sprite instead, and they spent the next fifteen minutes in silence looking at everything in Chris’s living room instead each other.
“What can I do for you, Kevin?” Chris asked, when he couldn’t take the silence anymore.
“Did you really introduce Kristen to her new girlfriend?” Kevin asked after a few moments.
“Kevin, even if Kristen stayed single forever, she still would’ve divorced you,” Chris pointed out. He had heard Kristen complain long enough about the situation to know what Kevin thought about the divorce, and he didn’t want to hear about it from Kevin. Although, Dani had told him that Kevin had signed the papers without much resistance, so maybe the other man was now more comfortable with the idea than what Kristen had led Chris to believe.
“So, did you?” Kevin insisted. It was only then when Chris realized that he hadn’t really answered the question. And that there was a very good chance that Kevin wouldn’t like the answer.
“It was an accident!” Chris defended himself. The truth was that at the time, he had been against the idea of Dani and Kristen dating, if anything because Dani didn’t deserve to be the rebound girlfriend. “I didn’t mean to! I went to see Dani, and Kristen went me and they clicked, and honestly, you should feel happy that Kristen has someone who makes her happy.”
“I’m not placing the blame on anyone.” Kevin’s calm surprised Chris. He still remembered how he had felt when Dani had started dating after their break up. He had been devastated, and Dani had been dating men at the time. “I just wanted to know if it had been you, because I wanted to know if she is trustworthy.”
“What do you mean?”
“Have you met Nick’s girlfriends?” Kevin raised an eyebrow, cynically. “The ones that only date him because he’s a Backstreet Boy or because he looks good with them at the red carpet events?”
“Oh, you mean Julie. Yeah. I remember JC’s girlfriends too, and a couple of Lance’s boyfriends...” Chris nodded, leaning down on his seat. He guessed this was not the time to tell Kevin that *N Sync had so much experience with fame-hungry girlfriends that JC and Justin had managed to write a song about them. Especially since, at the time, Dani was still fresh enough in his heart to count as an *N Sync ex-girlfriend. “But don’t worry, Dani is not like that at all.”
“How do you know?”
“Because she was my girlfriend, back when the group was really big.” Chris didn’t pulled his punches. He had dated Dani for so long, that he had even let himself believe that they could have a fairytale ending. When they had broke up, he had been devastated, but later on, seeing how things ended so badly between JC and Bobbie, he had realized he had been lucky. At least Dani had loved him for himself. “Don’t worry, Kristen is in good hands.”
“Oh. Ok, then.” Kevin nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer.
There was a long pause again, and Chris tried to relax. He had satisfied Kevin’s curiosity, so now Kevin would be leaving him alone. Things had been solved, and now probably Kevin would be civilized with Kristen and Dani. He would raise from his seat, thank Chris for his time, and then leave the house. All in all, it was a good thing.
Except that Kevin wasn’t getting up. In fact, he wasn’t making any movement except to get his glass and drink from it.
Not wanting to let this new silence grow as long as the first, Chris decided to break it.
“Kevin, Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“No,” Kevin sighed, closing his eyes. “Well, yes. There’s something else. I was trying to find a way to bring out the subject but, see... I ran into Lance at a club two nights ago...”
Later, Chris would have time to remind himself never to drink anything while having serious talks with his friends and co-workers, but at the moment, as the twenty something messages he had erased without listening flashed through his mind, the only thing he could do was to spit the Coke he had just drank to avoid choking with it. Kevin running into Lance was not a problem. Lance was a very collected person who never opened his mouth unless he was following a plan. Except when he was celebrating, or happy, or drunk. Then Lance’s tongue got loose and weird MySpace blogs got written. And Lance was the only one in *N Sync who knew about Chris’s crush, and was still on the whole ‘be truth to yourself and the world’ train. Sober, Lance would never out anyone. Drunk? They still haven’t had the chance to know.
“Shit, do you want a napkin?” Kevin asked, finally getting up from the couch.
“Never mind the napkin...” Chris said, trying to collect his thoughts. There were too many questions that he had in his mind, questions that he needed answered before he knew how bad the damage had been, and if he needed to quit the Backstreet Boys and join the Witness protection program. “Were you drunk? Was he drunk? Was he alone? Was he still mad about the group? Did he tell you anything about me?”
“No, a little, I think so, I didn’t ask...” Kevin listed the answers one by one, and with each, Chris breathed a little easier. “And actually... I came to talk to you about something he said.”
“Shit.” Chris swore under his breath. He really hadn’t want to find out that Lance had outed him. At least, it meant that next time he would listen to his messages instead of deleting them. A little warning would’ve been nice. “Look. Lance has this weird memory thing. He can remember things that happened years ago and hold to them like a tiger holding his prey. Have you read his book? He really did remember all those things without writing them up or anything. And when he drinks... he mix up dates. So whatever he told you, it was probably important ten years ago, but now? Not so much. Creepy, I know, but you get used to it.”
“He told me I was being an ass.” And the really curious thing was that Kevin was smiling as he said that. So Chris could believe that maybe Lance hadn’t said anything more. And to be honest, it had a bit of truth. Kevin could be a jerk sometimes, no matter how much Chris tried to avoid a media fight about it.
“Oh, there you go.” He answered, opening his arms as if to show everything was all right. “You were an ass back then.”
“Yeah,” Kevin nodded, laughing softly.
There was nothing much to say after that not only because it was the truth, but also because, Chris had to admit, Kevin looked good when he smiled. And there it was, the small, not too obtrusive crush that made Chris feel like if his knees were melting.
He really needed to get Kevin out of the house before other body parts started melting.
“You know, if it’s worth anything, I kind of like you. Always have.” Kevin said, making Chris’s heart stop in place. Chris tried very, very discreetly to pinch himself because not only he never expected Kevin to say that to him, the words were also coming a bit out of left field. “You weren’t the first guy that Lou rejected for that last spot in Backstreet, but you were the only one who didn’t let that stop him. I remember, I knew who you were as soon as I saw the Transcon memo about *N Sync... and then I thought ‘damn, this guy... he can be some serious competition’. That’s why I was so hard on your group... but it was because, well... you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” And Chris really knew. Now that Kevin had explained himself, the little voice on the back of his mind had finally shut up, and Chris was able to see where Kevin was getting at. The end of the matter was that Chris was getting an apology over all those years of band rivalry caused by Lou Pearlman. Almost ten years too late, but still, an apology. And Chris wasn’t going to let it go to waste. “Well... maybe this is lame but... well, we obviously started with the wrong leg back then with the whole competition thing and all. And now, me getting in Backstreet and you with your divorce, but we could... you know try and being friends? Hope you don’t mind me saying this, but you look like you need a friend. At least one who understands the whole ex-boyband politics and shit.”
“You think?” Kevin smiled sadly and then shook his head, but Chris thought he looked a little more relaxed. Which was usually the point where he would agree, offer his guest to maybe play pool or something, and then finish on a high note. Unfortunately, Kevin had other plans. “It’s just... my life just imploded under me. First Kristen leaves me, then I leave the group... and now... Now I don’t know.”
“You can get back in the group, Kevin. I know you all think I just say that to be nice, but it’s the truth,” Chris tried once again. He did like to be on the Backstreet Boys, but if him leaving was a solution, he was glad to offer it.
“Thing is, I don’t want to be back on the group. I thought I did, but I meant it when I said I was too old for that,” Kevin shook his head and before Chris could answer, he kept on explaining how he also thought he wanted Kristen back, but was in fact happier without her, that she had been right. They worked better as friends.
Chris let Kevin keep talking, listening very careful to Kevin’s side of the mess with Kriste, to Kevin’s fears and, more importantly, to what Kevin was trying very hard not to say, when he realized that his mother was right. He should’ve never had left the whole psychiatry thing. He wasn’t half bad at it.
Besides, a lot of what Kevin said was hitting very close to home. He had also felt very lost when the group had started the hiatus, and the real reason was that because of them all, the only one who had never had any interest in a solo career, or in any kind of solo effort, had been Chris.
“You know? I know what your problem is,” Chris smiled and shrugged. The worst case scenario was that Kevin would tell him he was full of shit, and he could live with that. “You’re feeling lonely, which is pretty normal since you’ve been never alone in what? Ten years or so? If you’re not with the group, you were with Kristen, and suddenly, you think you’ve got nothing and have to figure out what you really want. Like Joey, with his Broadway plays, and Lance who’s doing a little of everything. It’ll come to you. In the mean time, you’ve got friends and the great advantage that you don’t have to work to live anymore, so you’ve got a few more chances to screw it up than most people.”
Kevin looked up at Chris and blinked, surprised. It was an expression Chris liked seeing on people, since they only got them when Chris said something they really weren’t expecting, when he could catch them by surprise.
“Howie told me you were good at the whole listening job,” Kevin said, after a small silence. “But I never believed him... I was very wrong.”
“Why is it so hard to believe I can be insightful?” Chris laughed, amused.
“Because I remember the purple hair and the time you claimed you broke your hand saving a bus of school kids from a ditch,” Kevin answered quickly. It made Chris believe that maybe Kevin had been thinking a lot about the purple hair.
“I refuse to be criticised by a man who has worn skirts in public.” Chris got up to get a new can of soda for himself and Kevin. Things were working out now, so he could relax.
“It was a fashion statement.”
“It was a skirt.” Chris came back from the kitchen, handing Kevin the can of Sprite. “Seriously speaking, you just need to spread your horizons a little. You write music, I know you’re doing a soundtrack for a movie, right? If that doesn’t work, you can try producing, that’s always fun and all the studio sessions you’ve done have probably prepared you for it. And hey, I know you love the whole business side of the job, so you could even try managing a group. Who knows? You could be the Backstreet Boys manager!”
Chris laughed at his own joke, but stopped when he realized that Kevin wasn’t laughing with him. In fact, Kevin had a very calculating look on his eyes, as if he was actually considering what Chris had just said seriously.
“That was a joke, Kevin,” he said, trying to get the attention of the other man.
“But it could work,” Kevin nodded, smiling as he stood up. “You’re right. I’ve always liked the administration part a lot better than the endless rehearsals. And we... you... the group is having issues with Jive ever since Never Gone, so we... the group really needs new management. You know, I’m going to call the others, organize a meeting... see what they think of it. Do I have your vote?”
“Sure,” Chris forced himself to smile as Kevin got his cell phone out of his pocket. As Kevin got Brian on the line, Chris stopped listening to Kevin’s half of the conversation and just watched the man. Sure, he had proposed the managing thing as a joke, but if anyone could make it, it was probably Kevin. Chris had heard enough stories from Nick to know that Kevin’s control streak was a mile wide and Kristen’s own stories pretty much confirmed it. The problem was that Kevin looked different when focused, there was a gleam in his eyes that made Chris’s crush bloom into full-fledged lust and it took all of his self control not to do something stupid.
And if Brian, AJ and Howie agreed to the plan, as they would probably do, it would meant that Chris would have to spend a lot more time with Kevin. Which would mean to get to know him better, and Chris knew himself. If his crush was, as Lance once put it, a silly little thing that would die on time, it would’ve died a long time ago. Working with Kevin... well, it was a good way to insure the crush could grow into something even more lasting.
Chris shook his head, trying to clear off those thoughts as Kevin argued with his cousin on the phone. Whatever happened, he would just roll with it. His game plan had worked for him for thirty five years or so, so he could count on it working for a little longer.
And, he added to his mental tally as Kevin smiled at him making a thumbs up sign, it had always made things more interesting.
The End.
Author: luxshine
Artist:
aceethaPairing: Kevin / Chris UST. Sorta.
Rating/Warnings: G, really. No, trust me on that one.
Word count: 20,853
Summary: To keep Kristen happy, Kevin decides to retire from the Backstreet Boys, but when the others realize they really need a fifth voice, Kevin’s life becomes a complete chaos as the one chosen to become the new fifth BSB is none other than Chris.
I'd like to thank
milosflaca who helped me a lot, especially with the final scenes that were a complete mess and so, that last bit? Consider it co-written for all the phonecalls that went between us. To bubbleforest for all her patience, and I'm very sorry I was a day late. I hate my work sometimes, but I did finish. To otherdeb who betaed the first 8.000 or so words, before my computer and rl troubles ate my time, and to musiclover03 and ravenbat because they encoruaged me to follow this bunny.Link to gorgeous cover art: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v140/aceetha/luxshine001.jpg
“What do you have to say about Kevin Richardson’s remarks about Chris’s involvement in the Backstreet Boys?”
The question had caught the group by surprise during the press release before their Hong Kong concert. They had tried to play it off, ignore it and go to the next question, but reporters were like sharks. They rarely leave the uncomfortable questions unasked.
AJ and Nick answered honestly that Kevin hadn’t seen the show, so he was probably talking about one of their studio sessions, before the sound of the band was completely defined.
“So when Richardson said that Chris made a career of following his footsteps, he wasn’t calling him a copy-cat?”
Brian clamped up, and looked at Chris. It was as bad as the time a reporter had asked them if ‘Backstreet Boys’ was named as a pornographic reference, when Kevin had completely blocked out the interviewer. Because whatever they answered, they would end up hurting one of their friends: either they backed Kevin up, acknowledging that he wasn’t thinking straight due to his marriage issues, or they backed Chris up, and made Kevin look like a sore loser. A no win situation, a Mexican stand-off.
Brian hated those, and he wanted nothing more than going to his room, call Lieghanne and forget the whole press conference.
“No, I’m pretty sure he meant that I’m a fast learner,” Chris answered, drawing attention to him. “No offense to you guys, but I haven’t read a single article where what we say is quoted word by word so... Kevin surely said something completely different and it got mangled because it makes good headlines.”
“But you can’t be sure,” the first reporter insisted. “After all, he has a history of rivalry with you since 1997, given that you both were the oldest members in your respective groups.”
“And if we’re to believe everything that it’s printed about what we said, I’ve dated half of the Playboy bunnies,” Chris said calmly. “And Lance, and Joey, and Howie here, and probably a dozen or so that I’m forgetting now. I assure you, Kevin was one hundred percent on board of the change, he even helped us with some of the studio sessions, and if it sounds different is because it’s very easy to put things out of context when looking for some news.”
That seemed to finally close the uncomfortable line of questioning, and soon things were back in more normal tracks. But Brian couldn’t shake the feeling that they had just dodged a big cannonball.
Which was why he wasn’t surprised when Howie asked Chris to go and talk with him alone once the press conference was over and they were walking to their respective rooms.
* * *
“What was that?” Howie asked as soon as Chris crossed the door to his hotel room.
“A press conference. I thought you would recognize one, since you’ve done so many,” Chris answered, jokingly, sitting down on the king size bed.
“Spare me the Leslie Nielsen’s reference,” Howie started the water heater, and turned to see Chris. “I’ve never seen you defend anyone as hard as you defended Kevin today, what gives?”
“It’s just as I said, he was probably misquoted, why are you on my case about this?” Chris shrugged, laying down on the bed. “Hey, this mattress is far more confortable than mine. Wanna swap rooms?”
“We’re not swapping rooms,” Howie sat down next to Chris. “Chirs, I’ve seen you chow the head of your own bandmates when they say something stupid. You’ve badmouthed *Lance* who is one of your closest friends, when you thought he was an idiot about his life and now that Kevin outright insults you, you make it look as if he’s a victim? Come on!”
“I just thought you all wouldn’t want me bad mouthing him!” Chris defended himself, closing his eyes. Howie was pretty sure Chris was trying to avoid the subject, which was a very good reason to try and pursue it. It wasn’t like Chris to be that evasive. “Next time, I’ll make sure everyone knows that I think Kevin is a jerk.”
“Stop acting so childish,” Howie admonished. “I swear, some days you act worse than Nick did at thirteen.”
“Try Justin at fourteen, and you got me,” Chris shrugged. “Look, it’s nothing. I just got tired of the press trying to get us to fight just because it sells magazines. That’s it.”
“No,” Howie shook his head, smiling as the picture started to make sense in his head. “If it was the case you would’ve chewed out the reporter’s heads, not defended Kevin... you really wanted to clear Kevin out of the misunderstanding...”
“Howie...” Chris sat down again, looking troubled. “Don’t go there.”
“You don’t want anyone starting a feud between you and Kevin,” Howie continued, not really paying attention, and he smiled as suddenly Chris’s attitude made sense. At least, to someone who had witnessed Chris’s very brief romance to one of the guys who was unlucky enough to be part of both the original band that played for the Backstreet Boys in 1997, and then of *N Sync’s back up band in 1998. “You have a crush on Kevin!”
“Don’t say that so loud,” Chris motioned for him to shut up. “I don’t want to make things awkward with Brian just because his cousin happens to be my type.”
“Brian won’t care,” Howie stood up, and acting impulsively for once, went to the open door. “Hey, Brian! Chris has a crush on Kevin!”
Before Chris could strangle Howie, Brian opened the door to his room, phone in hand, smiling.
“Everyone has a crush on Kevin, at least for five minutes,” Brian laughed. “It’s a requirement or something. Even Lieghanne had a crush on Kevin, before we married.”
“She did?” Chris looked out of the door, as if he was still cautious that Brian wasn’t taking Howie’s indiscretion with humor.
“For five minutes, before she met me,” Brian smiled, covering the mouthpiece of his cellphone. “And so did AJ, and he’s the straightest man on earth, so it’s ok. Even if you just made Nick lose a bet.”
“A bet?” Chris looked at Howie who shrugged. He had forgotten that bet between AJ and Nick, back in 2000.
“They thought it would be JC or Lance the first *N Syncer to admit Kevin was hot. You know, long boring bus drives make interesting bets.”
As Chris nodded, Howie decided to let the subject drop for now. The fact that Chris was really attracted to Kevin was not that unusual, just as he and Brian had said. But the attitude that Chris was taking regarding Kevin’s short temper was.
Just in case, Howie decided to try and keep a close eye on his friend.
* * *
As Kristen promised, the divorce papers arrived a week after Kevin spent quite some time trying to apologize for his harsh words about Chris. Chris’s diplomatic answer had given Kevin some ammunition, and the way in which Chris had chosen to interpret Kevin’s words were now the official version in almost all news outlets with the exception of the seedier blogs which were delighted in trying to fan the flames of the old band war.
The divorce itself was far painless than what Kevin expected. The papers arrived, he read them carefully, but Kristen had been true to her word. She wasn’t asking for anything from Kevin, except the agreement to dissolve their marriage. And while Kevin had gotten himself a lawyer and made sure that everything was really as clear as it seemed, he was almost sure that he would be single again by the time the Backstreet Boys returned for their North American tour.
Which was the reason why he was going out almost every night. While he wasn’t exactly looking for someone to replace Kristen, he was tired of his empty house. Almost daily clubbing distracted him from his thoughts.
What he forgot was that the show business was in fact a very small business, where everyone knew everybody else and thus it was very hard to do anything without bumping into anyone who knew someone. And while he knew there was no chance of meeting his ex-bandmates, he should’ve remembered that Chris’s ex-bandmates were still in the United States, and that one of them was quite fond of the nightlife.
The one that hated Kevin, and had recently broke up with yet another boyfriend so wasn’t in the mood to pull his punches.
Things would’ve probably not gone farther than very polite and slightly forced greetings if it wasn’t because Kevin forgot himself and asked Lance what he thought of the Backstreet Boys’s last album.
“You just couldn’t keep it to yourself, could you?” Lance answered, his voice low enough to be well hidden under the music of the club. Only Kevin would hear him, in case there were curious ears around.
“Lance, it was a simple question...” Kevin started but Lance interrupted him before he could get any further.
“Don’t even try, Kevin,” Lance said, obviously angry. “I have heard enough of your non-insults to know that you just can’t stand us, and I’m not going to give you any ammunition against Chris.”
“What are you talking about?” Kevin frowned. Now that he thought about it, Lance sounded a little drunk.
“I’m talking about you saying that he’s only following on your steps,” Lance retorted. “Honestly, what has Chris ever done to you? I can understand the whole hating our band because you wanted to feel as if somehow Backstreet Boys had invented a concept as old as dirt, but Chris? Have you ever said something at least decent about him?”
“He’s a great singer,” Kevin defended himself, not quite sure of where this discussion was going. “And honestly, he sounds great with the group. That’s all I meant when I asked you...”
“Yeah, right,” Lance scoffed. “Look Richardson... I have no idea why Chris feels he has to defend your reputation, but you better start being really careful about what you say around the press. He’s trying to do something good with the group you abandoned, and you should be grateful of that.”
It was at that point when Kevin realized that Lance was probably talking about something besides his own careless remarks regarding Chris and decided to cut his losses before Lance said something that Kevin wasn’t supposed to know.
“You’re right,” he said, interrupting Lance’s rant.
“Of course I’m right,” Lance agreed, smiling and looking very pleased with himself. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Apologize to Chris, of course.”
* * *
The only warning Chris got that his day was going to turn upside down once the Asian/Latin American leg of the Backstreet Boys’ tour ended was a couple dozen messages from Lance in his answering machine. Messages that Chris promptly erased without listening making a mental note of calling Lance as soon as he had his breath back. He had to admit that as much as he had missed touring, by the third week he missed his house more.
So to relax, he had decided to spend a whole day in his game room, doing absolutely nothing before he had to head out with the group for a new round of interviews and shows before the winter break.
He really didn’t expect Kevin to ring his doorbell at noon. He didn’t even know that the other man knew where he lived.
“Kevin, hi.” Chris opened the door, even if what he wanted was to hide inside and pretend he wasn’t home. “What can I do for you?”
“Can we talk, Chris?” Kevin asked, looking far more serious than usual. Chris didn’t know Kevin very well –in fact, and due to the stubborn voice in the back of his mind that constantly brought up Kevin as one of the guys in the business that probably was very good in bed, Chris tried not to get to know Kevin. A harmless crush was one thing, and the less he did to feed it, the better- but he thought that he had never seen Kevin looking quite like that. As a man ready to undertake a very complicated and painful task.
“Sure, come in,” Chris moved to let Kevin in. It was the first time the other Backstreet Boy was there. Howie had been welcomed at the house since Chris bought it, Nick had come over a couple of times. Since Chris joined the Backstreet Boys, AJ and Brian had also come on occasion and in fact, track ten of Unbreakable had been recorded at Chris’s studio. But Kevin had never been there.
“Nice house,” Kevin commented, as Chris led him to the living room.
“You should see Joey’s.” Chris shrugged. “He has an inner pool with air conditioner just for it.”
And that was it. Finding subjects to talk to with Kevin was hard, because Chris had no idea what Kevin wanted, and the whole thing was starting to be awkward. He offered Kevin a coke, Kevin asked if he had Sprite instead, and they spent the next fifteen minutes in silence looking at everything in Chris’s living room instead each other.
“What can I do for you, Kevin?” Chris asked, when he couldn’t take the silence anymore.
“Did you really introduce Kristen to her new girlfriend?” Kevin asked after a few moments.
“Kevin, even if Kristen stayed single forever, she still would’ve divorced you,” Chris pointed out. He had heard Kristen complain long enough about the situation to know what Kevin thought about the divorce, and he didn’t want to hear about it from Kevin. Although, Dani had told him that Kevin had signed the papers without much resistance, so maybe the other man was now more comfortable with the idea than what Kristen had led Chris to believe.
“So, did you?” Kevin insisted. It was only then when Chris realized that he hadn’t really answered the question. And that there was a very good chance that Kevin wouldn’t like the answer.
“It was an accident!” Chris defended himself. The truth was that at the time, he had been against the idea of Dani and Kristen dating, if anything because Dani didn’t deserve to be the rebound girlfriend. “I didn’t mean to! I went to see Dani, and Kristen went me and they clicked, and honestly, you should feel happy that Kristen has someone who makes her happy.”
“I’m not placing the blame on anyone.” Kevin’s calm surprised Chris. He still remembered how he had felt when Dani had started dating after their break up. He had been devastated, and Dani had been dating men at the time. “I just wanted to know if it had been you, because I wanted to know if she is trustworthy.”
“What do you mean?”
“Have you met Nick’s girlfriends?” Kevin raised an eyebrow, cynically. “The ones that only date him because he’s a Backstreet Boy or because he looks good with them at the red carpet events?”
“Oh, you mean Julie. Yeah. I remember JC’s girlfriends too, and a couple of Lance’s boyfriends...” Chris nodded, leaning down on his seat. He guessed this was not the time to tell Kevin that *N Sync had so much experience with fame-hungry girlfriends that JC and Justin had managed to write a song about them. Especially since, at the time, Dani was still fresh enough in his heart to count as an *N Sync ex-girlfriend. “But don’t worry, Dani is not like that at all.”
“How do you know?”
“Because she was my girlfriend, back when the group was really big.” Chris didn’t pulled his punches. He had dated Dani for so long, that he had even let himself believe that they could have a fairytale ending. When they had broke up, he had been devastated, but later on, seeing how things ended so badly between JC and Bobbie, he had realized he had been lucky. At least Dani had loved him for himself. “Don’t worry, Kristen is in good hands.”
“Oh. Ok, then.” Kevin nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer.
There was a long pause again, and Chris tried to relax. He had satisfied Kevin’s curiosity, so now Kevin would be leaving him alone. Things had been solved, and now probably Kevin would be civilized with Kristen and Dani. He would raise from his seat, thank Chris for his time, and then leave the house. All in all, it was a good thing.
Except that Kevin wasn’t getting up. In fact, he wasn’t making any movement except to get his glass and drink from it.
Not wanting to let this new silence grow as long as the first, Chris decided to break it.
“Kevin, Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“No,” Kevin sighed, closing his eyes. “Well, yes. There’s something else. I was trying to find a way to bring out the subject but, see... I ran into Lance at a club two nights ago...”
Later, Chris would have time to remind himself never to drink anything while having serious talks with his friends and co-workers, but at the moment, as the twenty something messages he had erased without listening flashed through his mind, the only thing he could do was to spit the Coke he had just drank to avoid choking with it. Kevin running into Lance was not a problem. Lance was a very collected person who never opened his mouth unless he was following a plan. Except when he was celebrating, or happy, or drunk. Then Lance’s tongue got loose and weird MySpace blogs got written. And Lance was the only one in *N Sync who knew about Chris’s crush, and was still on the whole ‘be truth to yourself and the world’ train. Sober, Lance would never out anyone. Drunk? They still haven’t had the chance to know.
“Shit, do you want a napkin?” Kevin asked, finally getting up from the couch.
“Never mind the napkin...” Chris said, trying to collect his thoughts. There were too many questions that he had in his mind, questions that he needed answered before he knew how bad the damage had been, and if he needed to quit the Backstreet Boys and join the Witness protection program. “Were you drunk? Was he drunk? Was he alone? Was he still mad about the group? Did he tell you anything about me?”
“No, a little, I think so, I didn’t ask...” Kevin listed the answers one by one, and with each, Chris breathed a little easier. “And actually... I came to talk to you about something he said.”
“Shit.” Chris swore under his breath. He really hadn’t want to find out that Lance had outed him. At least, it meant that next time he would listen to his messages instead of deleting them. A little warning would’ve been nice. “Look. Lance has this weird memory thing. He can remember things that happened years ago and hold to them like a tiger holding his prey. Have you read his book? He really did remember all those things without writing them up or anything. And when he drinks... he mix up dates. So whatever he told you, it was probably important ten years ago, but now? Not so much. Creepy, I know, but you get used to it.”
“He told me I was being an ass.” And the really curious thing was that Kevin was smiling as he said that. So Chris could believe that maybe Lance hadn’t said anything more. And to be honest, it had a bit of truth. Kevin could be a jerk sometimes, no matter how much Chris tried to avoid a media fight about it.
“Oh, there you go.” He answered, opening his arms as if to show everything was all right. “You were an ass back then.”
“Yeah,” Kevin nodded, laughing softly.
There was nothing much to say after that not only because it was the truth, but also because, Chris had to admit, Kevin looked good when he smiled. And there it was, the small, not too obtrusive crush that made Chris feel like if his knees were melting.
He really needed to get Kevin out of the house before other body parts started melting.
“You know, if it’s worth anything, I kind of like you. Always have.” Kevin said, making Chris’s heart stop in place. Chris tried very, very discreetly to pinch himself because not only he never expected Kevin to say that to him, the words were also coming a bit out of left field. “You weren’t the first guy that Lou rejected for that last spot in Backstreet, but you were the only one who didn’t let that stop him. I remember, I knew who you were as soon as I saw the Transcon memo about *N Sync... and then I thought ‘damn, this guy... he can be some serious competition’. That’s why I was so hard on your group... but it was because, well... you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” And Chris really knew. Now that Kevin had explained himself, the little voice on the back of his mind had finally shut up, and Chris was able to see where Kevin was getting at. The end of the matter was that Chris was getting an apology over all those years of band rivalry caused by Lou Pearlman. Almost ten years too late, but still, an apology. And Chris wasn’t going to let it go to waste. “Well... maybe this is lame but... well, we obviously started with the wrong leg back then with the whole competition thing and all. And now, me getting in Backstreet and you with your divorce, but we could... you know try and being friends? Hope you don’t mind me saying this, but you look like you need a friend. At least one who understands the whole ex-boyband politics and shit.”
“You think?” Kevin smiled sadly and then shook his head, but Chris thought he looked a little more relaxed. Which was usually the point where he would agree, offer his guest to maybe play pool or something, and then finish on a high note. Unfortunately, Kevin had other plans. “It’s just... my life just imploded under me. First Kristen leaves me, then I leave the group... and now... Now I don’t know.”
“You can get back in the group, Kevin. I know you all think I just say that to be nice, but it’s the truth,” Chris tried once again. He did like to be on the Backstreet Boys, but if him leaving was a solution, he was glad to offer it.
“Thing is, I don’t want to be back on the group. I thought I did, but I meant it when I said I was too old for that,” Kevin shook his head and before Chris could answer, he kept on explaining how he also thought he wanted Kristen back, but was in fact happier without her, that she had been right. They worked better as friends.
Chris let Kevin keep talking, listening very careful to Kevin’s side of the mess with Kriste, to Kevin’s fears and, more importantly, to what Kevin was trying very hard not to say, when he realized that his mother was right. He should’ve never had left the whole psychiatry thing. He wasn’t half bad at it.
Besides, a lot of what Kevin said was hitting very close to home. He had also felt very lost when the group had started the hiatus, and the real reason was that because of them all, the only one who had never had any interest in a solo career, or in any kind of solo effort, had been Chris.
“You know? I know what your problem is,” Chris smiled and shrugged. The worst case scenario was that Kevin would tell him he was full of shit, and he could live with that. “You’re feeling lonely, which is pretty normal since you’ve been never alone in what? Ten years or so? If you’re not with the group, you were with Kristen, and suddenly, you think you’ve got nothing and have to figure out what you really want. Like Joey, with his Broadway plays, and Lance who’s doing a little of everything. It’ll come to you. In the mean time, you’ve got friends and the great advantage that you don’t have to work to live anymore, so you’ve got a few more chances to screw it up than most people.”
Kevin looked up at Chris and blinked, surprised. It was an expression Chris liked seeing on people, since they only got them when Chris said something they really weren’t expecting, when he could catch them by surprise.
“Howie told me you were good at the whole listening job,” Kevin said, after a small silence. “But I never believed him... I was very wrong.”
“Why is it so hard to believe I can be insightful?” Chris laughed, amused.
“Because I remember the purple hair and the time you claimed you broke your hand saving a bus of school kids from a ditch,” Kevin answered quickly. It made Chris believe that maybe Kevin had been thinking a lot about the purple hair.
“I refuse to be criticised by a man who has worn skirts in public.” Chris got up to get a new can of soda for himself and Kevin. Things were working out now, so he could relax.
“It was a fashion statement.”
“It was a skirt.” Chris came back from the kitchen, handing Kevin the can of Sprite. “Seriously speaking, you just need to spread your horizons a little. You write music, I know you’re doing a soundtrack for a movie, right? If that doesn’t work, you can try producing, that’s always fun and all the studio sessions you’ve done have probably prepared you for it. And hey, I know you love the whole business side of the job, so you could even try managing a group. Who knows? You could be the Backstreet Boys manager!”
Chris laughed at his own joke, but stopped when he realized that Kevin wasn’t laughing with him. In fact, Kevin had a very calculating look on his eyes, as if he was actually considering what Chris had just said seriously.
“That was a joke, Kevin,” he said, trying to get the attention of the other man.
“But it could work,” Kevin nodded, smiling as he stood up. “You’re right. I’ve always liked the administration part a lot better than the endless rehearsals. And we... you... the group is having issues with Jive ever since Never Gone, so we... the group really needs new management. You know, I’m going to call the others, organize a meeting... see what they think of it. Do I have your vote?”
“Sure,” Chris forced himself to smile as Kevin got his cell phone out of his pocket. As Kevin got Brian on the line, Chris stopped listening to Kevin’s half of the conversation and just watched the man. Sure, he had proposed the managing thing as a joke, but if anyone could make it, it was probably Kevin. Chris had heard enough stories from Nick to know that Kevin’s control streak was a mile wide and Kristen’s own stories pretty much confirmed it. The problem was that Kevin looked different when focused, there was a gleam in his eyes that made Chris’s crush bloom into full-fledged lust and it took all of his self control not to do something stupid.
And if Brian, AJ and Howie agreed to the plan, as they would probably do, it would meant that Chris would have to spend a lot more time with Kevin. Which would mean to get to know him better, and Chris knew himself. If his crush was, as Lance once put it, a silly little thing that would die on time, it would’ve died a long time ago. Working with Kevin... well, it was a good way to insure the crush could grow into something even more lasting.
Chris shook his head, trying to clear off those thoughts as Kevin argued with his cousin on the phone. Whatever happened, he would just roll with it. His game plan had worked for him for thirty five years or so, so he could count on it working for a little longer.
And, he added to his mental tally as Kevin smiled at him making a thumbs up sign, it had always made things more interesting.
The End.