an HP ficlet (Remus/Sirius)

Sirius flees to the garden whenever he can. It isn't exactly what he had in mind when he thought he'd finally be free - tiny patch of land that is a monument to dying trees and ugly weeds - but he supposes it's better than nothing. He goes there to escape, but he always hopes Remus will find him, and usually he does.

In the summer, while the sun is still warm enough to remind Sirius that not everywhere is chilly and bleak, they sit together on the doorstep. Sirius rips up weeds with his fingers, even though there always seem to be more the next day, and counts the threads of grey he can see in Remus's hair. There are more of them, too, than they're used to be, but somehow that isn't quite as bad anymore.

"We could leave," Remus always says, even though he knows they can't, and Sirius kisses him to silence him, afraid to have such things uttered in the sunlight. He likes it better when Remus whispers in the dark when there is no light to mock them, likes to lie so their bodies touch, exchanging kisses that tell the stories of where they will go and what they will do.

In the day, he wants only to stay here and not have his tiny miracles destroyed by careless words that the sun might see through.

But October comes, and its arrival seems to frighten off the sun. There is only rain, and Sirius likes to stand with arms outstretched to feel its gentle fingertips. When Molly is there, she always shoos him back inside, scolding like he is an errant schoolboy, and Remus grins at him when Molly can't see. Sirius stays by the kitchen door just a moment longer, so that Remus can get a proper view of him rain soaked and dripping, and he likes the heat he sees in Remus's eyes before he leaves. He likes it, too, when Remus follows five minutes later, and he knows that Molly might think he's crazy for standing in the rain, but that he is for once in his life exercising excellent judgement.

When Molly isn't there, though, the rainy days are the ones that Sirius loves most, and he holds them more closely than even their afternoons in the summer. Remus stands with him until they are both soaked to the skin, and their kisses somehow taste of rainwater, and Sirius can imagine they are somewhere else, because everything is somehow more alive and more hidden in the rain.

"We will go." And this time it is him making the promise, because he thinks it's safe here, in this garden that might be anywhere, and Remus nods and smiles against his mouth as the rain falls.