We want Johnny Logan presenting Strictly Come Dancing, Aston Villa relocated to Leitrim and from now on, every time the Queen says something in public, she has to start or finish with the phrase "
Gerrup the yard!" Sure lads, ye can Brexit the hell out of it but you'll need Ireland to say it's OK.
It is impossible to put across the heartfelt leap of joy as your mam has finally turfed your fatha' out of bed to '
gerrup an' sort the fire oot.' Without sounding like a sexist dinosaur, back in the day fire raising was a indeed a man's job; it traced a direct route to our prehistoric cavedwelling days.
HIGH FLYING: Martin Skrtel clears his lines ONE DOWN: Chris Herd opens the scoring
GERRUP: Steven Gerrard is helped to his feet UPS AND DOWNS: Luis Suarez celebrates scoring Liverpool's equaliser (left) after seeing a penalty shout turned down (right) Pictures JAMES MALONEY GIVEN THE NOD: Suarez beats Villa keeper to equalise
Geordie saying: dee as ya telt Non Geordie translation: do as you're told Usage: "Dee as a ya telt, man, and
gerrup the dancers."
The staff member was arguing that Polish food is better than Irish nosh when his boss quipped: "
Gerrup outta dat."
UPS AND DOWNS: Luis Suarez celebrates scoring Liverpool's equaliser (left) after seeing a penalty shout turned down (right) Pictures JAMES MALONEY
GERRUP: Steven Gerrard is helped to his feet ONE DOWN: Chris Herd opens the scoring HIGH FLYING: Martin Skrtel clears his lines GIVEN THE NOD: Suarez beats Villa keeper to equalise