Fic: The Incubator: Ohana 5/8 (AR/AU, Danny/Steve, NC17, slave!fic)
Title: The Incubator: Ohana
Rating: NC17
Characters/Pairings: Steve/Danny, Kono, Chin, Kamekona, OC's
Summary: Adjusting to life with a baby is strange but rewarding. Danny springs a large surprise on Steve that expands their 'Ohana' even further. But incidents occur that affect the household in a way no-body expects and Steve realises how precious and fragile his relationship is with his Owner and how much he has to lose.
Warnings: AU/AR!Future, M-preg, slash, slave!fic, mentions of miscarriages & adoption
A/N: A continutation of the 'Incubator- verse' which began with 'The Incubator'. I have a few stories written at various time stamps for this 'verse'. Just trying to get them all to connect up.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight
~
It takes time but things start to become easier. Danny returns to work which helps, keeps him focused on other things other than his grief and the state of the household. We still tread carefully around him, but it's more to ease his stress levels than because we're avoiding his temper. One thing doesn't change, we haven't had sex since he returned and he's made no attempt to make love. It's strange because in every other way he's affectionate with me but within the bedroom he distances himself. I've made a few feeble attempts to interest him but he brushes off any weak advances and I'd never dare push for more.
I try not to take it personally but he doesn't even like me lying close in bed. It's as if an invisible barrier has come down between us and I'm not sure how to break through it. It isn't like I can talk to anyone about it, though even if I dared speak to one of my fellow slaves, there's nothing any of us could do about it. None of them would be able to relate to the problem. Danny seems unconcerned about this sudden change and continues like everything is normal. Maybe I expect too much.
"I'm going to ask Dad to come and stay with us for a few weeks," Danny announces as he dresses for the day ahead.
I pick out a tie as he pulls on his shirt and starts buttoning up.
"How is he?" I ask, turning and sliding the tie round his neck before starting to knot it for him. It's usually the closest we get in the bedroom these days.
"I think he needs to get away from the house for a little while," Danny says quietly.
I tighten the knot up and straighten out his collar before taking his jacket off the hanger. "It would be nice for him to see Grace. And you."
"And he needs the company," Danny tells me as he dons the jacket. "With Laka gone there's just him and a house slave at home."
"Ask him and we'll make a nice space for him to come and stay in," I say, giving his shoulders a squeeze. "I think it will do you good as well to have him here."
"Yeah maybe," Danny says with a nod, shooting me a knowing look. "I know I'm still not myself, it would be nice to have someone to talk to."
I know what he means, there's only so much he can discuss with slaves and he's been coping with his grief with no family nearby and only a few close friends who understood the personal situation of his relationship with Laka. People are small minded when it comes to relationships between free man and slave. They don't understand about myself and Danny and they certainly wouldn't understand about John and Laka, an older generation and the same old problem.
~
John arrives the next week, with his house slave, Nerris. She's a small, thin as a twig and looks as if I could snap her in two without breaking a sweat, but it becomes evident she pulls her weight, is hard working and dotes on her Master. We make sure to welcome her into the fold but for the most part of her stay she'll attend John as she would at home. We clear a few rooms for John to use, a bedroom and an adjoining room that he can use as a private sitting room should he want peace and quiet from the rest of the house. Nerris is given a room by Kono.
John looks frail and gaunt, like Danny when he first came home. Danny doesn't take any more time off work but works a few days from home so he can spend some time with his dad. John at first keeps himself to himself but Grace, the little darling, works her magic. It seems nobody is beyond our daughters charms and where at first John stayed in his rooms or prefferred quiet solitude, within days he's seeking out wherever Grace is.
It's the summer so Kono has been spending most days out on the beach with her. The best time is late afternoon when the sun is starting to set and the heat not as intense. John takes to sitting out on the lanai observing, sometimes joining in with the fun. On one such afternoon, after I finish my chores I mix up some cool drinks and take a tray outside.
"Would you like a drink Sir?" I ask John, stirring fresh lemons around the glass jug.
John looks over to me, smiling and I feel a jolt at the familiarity of it. Danny's is exactly the same, genuine happiness. "Yes, thank you Steven."
I pour out a glass and set it down, pouring myself and Kono one also. I take Kono's to her and hold out a cool bottle of juice to her for Grace also.
"Thanks," Kono grins, picking up Grace and handing her the bottle. "What's Papi brought you? Yeah that's nice."
I give Grace's cheek a pinch before returning to sit with John. He gives me a strange look as I sit and take a drink from my glass.
"She calls you 'Papi'," he observes, eyes suddenly unfocused like he's not really in the conversation.
"Yeah, Danny's idea," I explain.
"It's what he called Laka," John says quietly.
I nod my head, "I know. Danny wanted Grace to call me something other than 'Steve'. He wants her to know I'm not just another slave in her life."
"You aren't," John says in agreement. "She should never think otherwise."
"Thank you Sir," I say with a smile. "Not many people would agree with you."
John looks at me with knowing eyes and sighs, looking over at his grand daughter as she laughs at Kono's antics. "It isn't easy is it Steven? I often wonder if I made Laka's life harder than it already was because of how I felt about him."
"In my experience Sir, I'd say Laka would have known how lucky he was to have you in his life. I know I am with Danny. No, it isn't easy, sometimes it's very very hard. But it isn't easy for Danny either and we both know how we feel. In the end, that is what matters for us."
"What if he decided to marry?" John said, looking away and out over the beach to the shoreline. "How do you think you'd cope with that?"
I know he's thinking of his own choices, his love for Nick as well as Laka. I can't imagine it to have been an easy life, but it was evident it didn't change how he and Laka felt about one another.
"Honestly Sir," I reply after a pause. "I don't know."
"It isn't easy," John shook his head. "I made a choice. I'm not saying I regret it, Nick was - he was something I never expected. But I always felt a small amount of guilt for how it affected my relationship with Laka."
"He understood," I assure him. Laka seemed content with his life, despite the hardships. I can't imagine having to be on the sidelines if Danny fell in love with someone, a free person whom he could have an open relationship with. But equally I couldn't imagine not being in his life in some way.
"Yes, he told me as much," John nodded his head. "Doesn't take away the guilt. Nick was equally as understanding."
"He knew about you and Laka?" I ask, curious. I should curb my interest but it also feels right to let John get things off his mind. I can at least say I can understand to an extent the situation more so than others.
"Oh yes he knew," John nodded, looking back over to me. There's an emptiness in his eyes and I wonder what it's like to have outlived not one, but two loves of your life. "We made promises to each other, some concerning Laka. Sometimes I think I took an easy way out with Nick, but that isn't fair to him, to us. For a long time I considered selling Laka on, I didn't see it as fair to make him stand and watch me build a life with someone else."
"You couldn't have built the same life with him," I reply with a shake of my head. I know that first hand. It's a freedom beyond reach to think Danny and I would ever be accepted in society as an equal pair. I'll always be a slave and he will always be a free man.
"No, I know," John agrees with a small sigh. "But I could have made it easier on him."
"I only knew him for a short time Sir but I don't think he'd have thanked you for releasing him," I tell him.
He gives a small laugh of agreement, smiling. "He wouldn't have. I think it would have been my cowardly way of escaping the guilt. But equally the idea of selling him, letting him go was something I couldn't do. I didn't make it easy for him or Nick."
He turns and scrutinises me for a long pause, I can't hold his stare and shift uncomfortably wondering why he's suddenly so focused on my person. I turn my attention to Grace and Kono, aware he's still watching me.
"I shouldn't have said what I did, about Daniel getting married. He's stronger than his old man and he has had the good fortune of seeing that a slave isn't just a slave but someone you can have a relationship with, be it a kind of friendship or something more. It was always important to me he understand slaves are part of his family unit."
"Not everyone agrees with you," I say knowingly.
"No they don't. Not much has changed over the years," John sighs, looking over at Grace with a soft smile. "Perhaps it will be different for the next generation."
"Perhaps," I shrug but I don't have that much faith in society. There have been rare public speakers in history who have tried to be a voice of the slave population, but they've always been a minority quickly hushed by the free society. This is simply the way of the world and I doubt it will ever change, at least not in my life time, nor I suspect in Grace's.
To be honest I've no idea how it would work if slaves were suddenly granted the freedom of a free man. Our society would be thrown into chaos. I've no idea what I'd be doing with my life, what could I do? I was born to serve, I know no other existence. It would be easier for the young generation. The freedom to go to school instead of a training camp, the ability to make a choice, the chance to earn credit and make their own way in the world. That's an alien concept to a slave like me. It's a frightening idea.
And how would the free populace cope with no slaves? Households are built upon the foundations of the relationship between Master and slave, our lives are intertwined like threads and everything functions because of that relationship. It may not be equal, but it is important.
Nerris interrupts us as she comes to check on her Master and I excuse myself to return to my chores, my head full of questions and thoughts.
~
Danny and his dad stay up late most nights talking, long after slave curfew. Usually I'd stay awake and wait for Danny to come to bed but the way our relationship in the bedroom is becoming, there's little point doing so these days. But I'm restless tonight, it's a warm humid evening and I can't settle. I get tired of tossing and turning in bed and get up, splash cold water on my face before sitting at the window seat. There's a slight breeze coming in as I wait for Danny. I wonder how long we'll continue the way we are. If he'll ever desire me again? Maybe the relationship has run it's course and he doesn't want me, not physically.
I think about the conversation I had with John days back. He's convinced Danny loves me and Danny has never told me otherwise but perhaps, maybe he has found someone else. John loved two people, so could Danny. Maybe it just got too hard, maybe Laka's death, looking at his fathers relationship showed him something he doesn't want to go through. His father is mourning a man in a society that doesn't accept or recognise him as anything other than an expendable. A slave is easily replaced by another.
Danny interrupts my musings as he comes to bed, quietly entering the room and closing the door behind him before he starts in surprise, finding me awake and out of bed.
"I thought you'd be asleep," he says with a small smile, crossing the room as he starts unbuttoning his shirt. "It's long past curfew."
He would never question my being awake before but now it feels like he expects me to be sleeping when he comes to bed himself. Like it's strange I'd be waiting for his arrival. I shift in my seat and push myself to stand.
"I couldn't sleep," I shrug, walking closer to the bed. "Do you need help?"
I want to peel away his clothes and kiss every inch of skin but he shakes his head, looking amused.
"I think I can manage," he says with a small roll of his eyes like I'm silly for suggesting I help him undress.
I suddenly feel too naked around him, I've never worn anything to bed but now I feel I should be covered up.
"Of course you can Sir," I say apologetically, turning away and pulling back the bed covers.
"You okay?" he asks and I don't look at him, nodding quickly.
"Yes Sir," I reply, sliding onto the mattress and pulling the bed covers up over me. It's still too warm and usually I'd kick away the sheets but tonight I don't want to be on show.
"Thought you were too hot," he observes knowingly as he finishes undressing.
"I've cooled down," I say, turning onto my side away from him and trying to get comfortable. It's going to be a long night, once he's in bed I'm going to have to be still. He hates it when I'm unsettled and restless, it keeps him awake.
"You sure everything is okay?" he asks and the bed dips as he sits on it. I hear a 'chink' as he sets his watch down on the bedside cabinet.
"Yes Sir, everything is fine," I reply. Though it isn't and I've no idea how to broach the subject with him.
"Okay now I know something is wrong," Danny gives a small laugh. "That's the third time you've called me 'Sir' in the past five minutes and you're never that formal unless I'm pissed off at you. Especially not in the bedroom. What's going on?"
"Nothing, it's nothing Danny," I tell him, wishing he'd let the matter drop.
"Has someone said something to you? Is it dad?" The bed dips again and I know he's looking over at me.
I lie still and press my lips together not wanting to speak. Unfortunately I don't have that kind of control to choose to stay silent.
"Steve, look at me," Danny says in a voice that warns me he's not gving me an option. I roll over at look at him hoping I'm conveying a blank expression. He's close, watching me keenly.
"What's going on?" he asks again.
"It isn't anything," I lie, hoping to keep my expression blank. "I'm just restless is all."
He isn't convinced and stares me out until I drop my eyes. He doesn't pull away though and I feel his eyes studying me.
"Talk to me," he says gently, trying to coax me into speaking. I really don't know how to broach the subject. "Is it me? Have I done something, said something to upset you?"
I feel conflicted, I've no right to be questioning his actions, how he treats me. Yet he's ordering me to convey my thoughts and it's ingrained in me to obey him, no matter the consequences.
"It's nothing," I start, struggling to find words that won't make me sound selfish. "It's just, you don't touch me anymore."
"What?" he says, sounding confused. I don't blame him, after all his hand is on my shoulder right now.
"You don't want me any more Danny," I try to explain, but really I feel like I'm digging a hole I can't get out of.
"What the hell are you talking about?" he asks, fingers stroking my jaw and tilting my chin a little to make me look at him.
I swallow down, look at him in the eye and feel terrible for saying such a thing. He looks hurt by the accusation and equally desperate to understand what is going on in my head so he can fix the problem.
"Why would you think that?" he says in a low voice.
"This is the closest we've been in bed since you came home," I reply equally as quiet.
He blinks in surprise and draws back a little, mouth opening as if to argue but I see the realisation in his eyes as he starts to understand what I'm talking about. He pulls away and I'm scared I've said too much, expect too much from him. He turns away from me and runs a hand through his hair as he sighs, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.
I sit up, wondering what to do now. He doesn't say anything more and I feel uncomfortable, like I'm intruding on his space. I don't know what I expected my words to spur on but I had hoped rather than pull away he'd attempt to assure me I was wrong. Evidently I'm not and have a sinking feeling deep inside that I can't salvage what we once had.
"Do you want me to go?" I ask him, shifting to move from the bed.
"Fuck, no," he says sharply, shaking his head. "No I don't want you to go. Fuck Steven."
He leans forward, head in his hands and I'm surprised, shocked even but I don't move away any more. Instead I push away the covers and move closer to him, tentatively putting a hand on his shoudler and when he doesn't shrug me off, I get closer. Sitting behind him, I rest against him, hands running up and down his arms as I lay my face against his neck.
"I'm sorry," I whisper against his skin. I'm confused and feel guilty for causing him more upset. He's had to deal with a lot these last few months and doesn't need me adding to his problems.
"You've got nothing to apologise for," he sighs, sitting up a little and leaning back against me. "I've not meant to make you feel unwanted baby."
"It's selfish of me to be thinking it," I reply, feeling terrible. We shouldn't be having this conversation, I've overstepped a mark. "I expect more than I rightly should."
"No you don't," Danny shakes his head and puts a hand over mine as I hold his arm. "I didn't mean it to become like this. You know when I was at Dad's all I could think of was coming home and being with you again. Then when Laka died and I had to watch Dad grieve in silence, in secret. It made me so angry. He loved him so much, he misses him so much. I admit when I came home, I was so tired, so drained I just didn't physically want you right then. I put it down to the grief. And then it's like I thought, I thought if I could have you, still love you but at a distance, I don't know, maybe it would be easier."
"It wasn't easier for your dad," I remind him. His father and Laka had a complicated love, John's marrying and loving another man didn't change the fact he also loved Laka. It didn't make Laka's death any easier for him to deal with.
"I know," Danny nods in agreement. "But the longer we went without the harder it became to reach out to you. I started convincing myself it was for the best."
"Maybe it would be for the best," I reply, not letting go of him. "This isn't the easiest of relationships Danny. Nobody will ever recognise it for what it is and that can't be easy for you. I can't imagine how difficult it is for you to attend places, socialise alone and not be able to share what we have with other people."
"I don't want the easy way out Steve and it isn't easy for you either," he assures me, fingers squeezing mine. "I do love you."
"I love you too Master," I say, mouth pressed against his skin so the words can sink in along with my hot breath. I want to imprint it on him, how much I mean it and feel it.
"Show me," he whispers and I feel him shaking just a little in my arms.
Danny is never vulnerable, in the years he's been my owner I've never seen him show weakness. But Laka's death seems to have broken him a fraction, enough to show all of us that underneath the strength and strong valued Master we love is a man who can be hurt. A man who can become lost and frustrated by things beyond his control. It's made us all rally round all the more to protect him these last few months, until he's back to his normal self.
I hold him a little tighter, hands sliding from his arms over his chest, his body is a little different after the weight loss though he's almost back to what I remember. It doesn't matter, he's still Danny. I press my lips against his skin as his fingers momentarily tangle with mine and I smile at the feel as he finally, after what has been months, finally responds to me. He doesn't push me away or make me feel like I've somehow offended him by daring to touch. Instead he leans back against me, fingers dragging mine downwards and my mouth curls into a smile as he silently urges me to touch him.
Both our hands wrap around his cock, he isn't hard yet but there isn't any rush. I can feel him start to respond and he shifts his head, his free hand reaching back to run into my hair as I trace my tongue along his neck to his ear.
"Steve," he whispers and it's like a plea of help. I pull back, take my hand off his cock and squeeze his fingers, urging him to focus a moment.
"Lie down," I say gently, shifting back and pulling at him so we can get more comfortable.
I feel a little nervous, it's never been like this before, Danny always takes the lead in how we make love but right now he needs me too. He moves back onto the bed, lying down getting comfortable and there's a need in his eyes. I suspect he thinks he may have fucked everything up and I lay against him, skin on skin just holding each other to convey that I still want him. Nothing has changed, it's just taken us some time to get back to this and he has his reasons. I can understand why he may have yearned to make it easier for himself, for me. But I'm learning love isn't supposed to be easy.
I kiss him, soft and tentative and feel his hands rubbing up and down my back before his arms wrap tighter around me, holding me close. His power and control is there, just under the surface and I'm going to have to coax it out of him but for now I'm happy to oblige in giving him what he needs of me. I take my time and savour the moment after what has been months of being kept at a distance. He opens his legs, a foot anchoring just above the back of my knee as I press close, our cocks sliding together. He moans softly against my mouth and I swallow the sound down gladly as I start to rock gently against him.
My own pleasure burns slowly, I want this to last. My cock twitches against his with the friction as he starts to move with me. Small upward rolls of his hips as I grind down against him, his leg tight around mine not letting me move too far away. His fingers slide into my hair, his other hand grasping my ass and I pull out of the kiss to look at him. This Danny I've missed, the one who loses himself in the pleasures we create together. He stares back at me, expression full of possession and he may not be his normal self but that looks reminds me I'm owned wholly and completely by him.
He gasps sharply, a smile of lust edging his lips as his fingers tighten their grip on my body.
"Fuck baby," he growls, pulling me back down into a kiss. It's all teeth and tongue, his passion is being fuelled as I urge it back into life.
Both his hands slide to my hips and he starts rocking upwards in a better rhythm, urging me with pressing fingers to fall into the same pace. I'm breathless myself now and we both breath harshly against each others lips as our cocks slide hard and leaking against one another.
"Steve," he chokes out and he doesn't need to ask or order.
I lean back, a hand planted into the matress by his head as I push up enough to get a hand between our bodies. His hands don't loosen their grip on my hips as I wrap a clumsy fist around our cocks. We both groan from the tightness as we thrust against one another, chasing the same completion. We stare at one another, he's smiling and I know I'm looking equally as happy back at him. We've both needed this. His eyes flicker closed for a moment, mouth twisting as he draws closer to his edge.
"Fuck, fuck Steve, baby" he chokes out and I can feel his hips grinding hard up against mine as he starts to lose focus. I tighten my hold on our cocks and give him that little extra he needs to fall, watching him closely as he gasps and bucks up against me. He moans low, lost to the pleasure and my fingers become slick and wet from his come as it threads out over his stomach. His hips keep rolling upwards gently as the pleasure floods through him.
He sucks in deep breaths and groans softly, satisfied murmuring under his breath as his body comes down from the high. He's stilled under me and I loosen my hold, fingers sticky and wet. I watch him as he starts to refocus, blinking and looking more relaxed than I've seen him in a long while. His hands release their tight grip of my hips and rub up along my sides as he smiles. I try to roll off him but he stills me, pushing my hand away and wrapping his own fist around my cock instead.
His thumb rubs against the head with a hard insistence and I groan at the feel. Fuck I've missed him touching me, he knows how to slowly pick me apart. He pulls me down for a kiss, soft and gentle as his thumb rubs again and I pant out a moan against his lips.
"Danny," I gasp out and grind against his touch but he's teasing me now, hand moving with me so I don't create much friction.
"Sshh, been a while baby," Danny whispers, his other hand sliding through my hair as he smiles at me. "Let me take care of you."
I still and wait, surrendering as always to his control. His breath is hot against my lips and his tongue flicks out to lick at my mouth, inviting me closer again as his fist finally starts to move up and down my cock. It's gentle, slow and I groan again, frustrated but trusting he won't make me suffer too long. He pushes me lightly, breaking the gentle kiss so he can watch me instead.
His fingers don't tighten and the grip is a teasing caress as his thumb rubs into the head again, making me shudder and moan. I can't focus on him and squeeze my eyes shut, resisting the urge to start rocking into his grip.
"Yeah this is what you need isn't it," Danny says softly. "Fuck you're beautiful like this baby."
His free hand glides along my skin with a tender stroking as he continues to jack me off.
"Danny," I choke out, desperate. I've waited too long to be held again the way he's holding me, touching me. "Please."
His hand leaves my back and instead strokes gently against my cheek. I open my eyes to look at him, prepared to start really begging if he doesn't do something soon. Thankfully it doesn't come to that as he smiles up at me, hand tightening and starting to jack me off faster. I groan and try and hold myself still, wanting nothing more than thrust into that tight grip but I know he'll get me there. My fingers grip into his shoulder and I pant and gasp feeling the tightness in the back of my thighs, my hips.
He's watching me with an intensity now, my Master in complete command and it's with a final rub of his thumb that I'm thrown off the edge. I can't help myself from rolling my hips into his grip as I come, light fizzing on the edge of my vision as I groan out his name, cock spasming between his fingers. His grip becomes even slicker as my come covers his hand and spurts onto his stomach.
I manage to lower myself to his side as I let myself down, but we're a tangle of limbs and sticky mess as we both lay there and breathe deep.
"Gods I'm a fucking idiot," Danny sighs as I throw an arm over his chest and bury my face into his neck.
"Hmmm," I reply non commitedly. He is an idiot but he had his reasons to want to keep me at arms length. "We should clean up."
I go to pull away but he pulls me back to him. "In a minute. Stay close for a little while."
I may have gotten a glimpse of the Master I know him to be in our love making but his voice and the way he holds me, reminds me he isn't back to his normal self yet. But we've just made love and I can hold him again now, lie close and feel him near without it feeling like we're two strangers to one another. So I stay close, holding him and don't move until I feel his breath evening out and he drifts off to sleep. I leave him only to fetch a damp cloth to gently wipe over his stomach and he stirs but not enough to waking as I wipe away the evidence of our love making. Dumping the cloth I lay back down, close and content beside him, thankful to have my Master back.
Rating: NC17
Characters/Pairings: Steve/Danny, Kono, Chin, Kamekona, OC's
Summary: Adjusting to life with a baby is strange but rewarding. Danny springs a large surprise on Steve that expands their 'Ohana' even further. But incidents occur that affect the household in a way no-body expects and Steve realises how precious and fragile his relationship is with his Owner and how much he has to lose.
Warnings: AU/AR!Future, M-preg, slash, slave!fic, mentions of miscarriages & adoption
A/N: A continutation of the 'Incubator- verse' which began with 'The Incubator'. I have a few stories written at various time stamps for this 'verse'. Just trying to get them all to connect up.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight
~
It takes time but things start to become easier. Danny returns to work which helps, keeps him focused on other things other than his grief and the state of the household. We still tread carefully around him, but it's more to ease his stress levels than because we're avoiding his temper. One thing doesn't change, we haven't had sex since he returned and he's made no attempt to make love. It's strange because in every other way he's affectionate with me but within the bedroom he distances himself. I've made a few feeble attempts to interest him but he brushes off any weak advances and I'd never dare push for more.
I try not to take it personally but he doesn't even like me lying close in bed. It's as if an invisible barrier has come down between us and I'm not sure how to break through it. It isn't like I can talk to anyone about it, though even if I dared speak to one of my fellow slaves, there's nothing any of us could do about it. None of them would be able to relate to the problem. Danny seems unconcerned about this sudden change and continues like everything is normal. Maybe I expect too much.
"I'm going to ask Dad to come and stay with us for a few weeks," Danny announces as he dresses for the day ahead.
I pick out a tie as he pulls on his shirt and starts buttoning up.
"How is he?" I ask, turning and sliding the tie round his neck before starting to knot it for him. It's usually the closest we get in the bedroom these days.
"I think he needs to get away from the house for a little while," Danny says quietly.
I tighten the knot up and straighten out his collar before taking his jacket off the hanger. "It would be nice for him to see Grace. And you."
"And he needs the company," Danny tells me as he dons the jacket. "With Laka gone there's just him and a house slave at home."
"Ask him and we'll make a nice space for him to come and stay in," I say, giving his shoulders a squeeze. "I think it will do you good as well to have him here."
"Yeah maybe," Danny says with a nod, shooting me a knowing look. "I know I'm still not myself, it would be nice to have someone to talk to."
I know what he means, there's only so much he can discuss with slaves and he's been coping with his grief with no family nearby and only a few close friends who understood the personal situation of his relationship with Laka. People are small minded when it comes to relationships between free man and slave. They don't understand about myself and Danny and they certainly wouldn't understand about John and Laka, an older generation and the same old problem.
~
John arrives the next week, with his house slave, Nerris. She's a small, thin as a twig and looks as if I could snap her in two without breaking a sweat, but it becomes evident she pulls her weight, is hard working and dotes on her Master. We make sure to welcome her into the fold but for the most part of her stay she'll attend John as she would at home. We clear a few rooms for John to use, a bedroom and an adjoining room that he can use as a private sitting room should he want peace and quiet from the rest of the house. Nerris is given a room by Kono.
John looks frail and gaunt, like Danny when he first came home. Danny doesn't take any more time off work but works a few days from home so he can spend some time with his dad. John at first keeps himself to himself but Grace, the little darling, works her magic. It seems nobody is beyond our daughters charms and where at first John stayed in his rooms or prefferred quiet solitude, within days he's seeking out wherever Grace is.
It's the summer so Kono has been spending most days out on the beach with her. The best time is late afternoon when the sun is starting to set and the heat not as intense. John takes to sitting out on the lanai observing, sometimes joining in with the fun. On one such afternoon, after I finish my chores I mix up some cool drinks and take a tray outside.
"Would you like a drink Sir?" I ask John, stirring fresh lemons around the glass jug.
John looks over to me, smiling and I feel a jolt at the familiarity of it. Danny's is exactly the same, genuine happiness. "Yes, thank you Steven."
I pour out a glass and set it down, pouring myself and Kono one also. I take Kono's to her and hold out a cool bottle of juice to her for Grace also.
"Thanks," Kono grins, picking up Grace and handing her the bottle. "What's Papi brought you? Yeah that's nice."
I give Grace's cheek a pinch before returning to sit with John. He gives me a strange look as I sit and take a drink from my glass.
"She calls you 'Papi'," he observes, eyes suddenly unfocused like he's not really in the conversation.
"Yeah, Danny's idea," I explain.
"It's what he called Laka," John says quietly.
I nod my head, "I know. Danny wanted Grace to call me something other than 'Steve'. He wants her to know I'm not just another slave in her life."
"You aren't," John says in agreement. "She should never think otherwise."
"Thank you Sir," I say with a smile. "Not many people would agree with you."
John looks at me with knowing eyes and sighs, looking over at his grand daughter as she laughs at Kono's antics. "It isn't easy is it Steven? I often wonder if I made Laka's life harder than it already was because of how I felt about him."
"In my experience Sir, I'd say Laka would have known how lucky he was to have you in his life. I know I am with Danny. No, it isn't easy, sometimes it's very very hard. But it isn't easy for Danny either and we both know how we feel. In the end, that is what matters for us."
"What if he decided to marry?" John said, looking away and out over the beach to the shoreline. "How do you think you'd cope with that?"
I know he's thinking of his own choices, his love for Nick as well as Laka. I can't imagine it to have been an easy life, but it was evident it didn't change how he and Laka felt about one another.
"Honestly Sir," I reply after a pause. "I don't know."
"It isn't easy," John shook his head. "I made a choice. I'm not saying I regret it, Nick was - he was something I never expected. But I always felt a small amount of guilt for how it affected my relationship with Laka."
"He understood," I assure him. Laka seemed content with his life, despite the hardships. I can't imagine having to be on the sidelines if Danny fell in love with someone, a free person whom he could have an open relationship with. But equally I couldn't imagine not being in his life in some way.
"Yes, he told me as much," John nodded his head. "Doesn't take away the guilt. Nick was equally as understanding."
"He knew about you and Laka?" I ask, curious. I should curb my interest but it also feels right to let John get things off his mind. I can at least say I can understand to an extent the situation more so than others.
"Oh yes he knew," John nodded, looking back over to me. There's an emptiness in his eyes and I wonder what it's like to have outlived not one, but two loves of your life. "We made promises to each other, some concerning Laka. Sometimes I think I took an easy way out with Nick, but that isn't fair to him, to us. For a long time I considered selling Laka on, I didn't see it as fair to make him stand and watch me build a life with someone else."
"You couldn't have built the same life with him," I reply with a shake of my head. I know that first hand. It's a freedom beyond reach to think Danny and I would ever be accepted in society as an equal pair. I'll always be a slave and he will always be a free man.
"No, I know," John agrees with a small sigh. "But I could have made it easier on him."
"I only knew him for a short time Sir but I don't think he'd have thanked you for releasing him," I tell him.
He gives a small laugh of agreement, smiling. "He wouldn't have. I think it would have been my cowardly way of escaping the guilt. But equally the idea of selling him, letting him go was something I couldn't do. I didn't make it easy for him or Nick."
He turns and scrutinises me for a long pause, I can't hold his stare and shift uncomfortably wondering why he's suddenly so focused on my person. I turn my attention to Grace and Kono, aware he's still watching me.
"I shouldn't have said what I did, about Daniel getting married. He's stronger than his old man and he has had the good fortune of seeing that a slave isn't just a slave but someone you can have a relationship with, be it a kind of friendship or something more. It was always important to me he understand slaves are part of his family unit."
"Not everyone agrees with you," I say knowingly.
"No they don't. Not much has changed over the years," John sighs, looking over at Grace with a soft smile. "Perhaps it will be different for the next generation."
"Perhaps," I shrug but I don't have that much faith in society. There have been rare public speakers in history who have tried to be a voice of the slave population, but they've always been a minority quickly hushed by the free society. This is simply the way of the world and I doubt it will ever change, at least not in my life time, nor I suspect in Grace's.
To be honest I've no idea how it would work if slaves were suddenly granted the freedom of a free man. Our society would be thrown into chaos. I've no idea what I'd be doing with my life, what could I do? I was born to serve, I know no other existence. It would be easier for the young generation. The freedom to go to school instead of a training camp, the ability to make a choice, the chance to earn credit and make their own way in the world. That's an alien concept to a slave like me. It's a frightening idea.
And how would the free populace cope with no slaves? Households are built upon the foundations of the relationship between Master and slave, our lives are intertwined like threads and everything functions because of that relationship. It may not be equal, but it is important.
Nerris interrupts us as she comes to check on her Master and I excuse myself to return to my chores, my head full of questions and thoughts.
~
Danny and his dad stay up late most nights talking, long after slave curfew. Usually I'd stay awake and wait for Danny to come to bed but the way our relationship in the bedroom is becoming, there's little point doing so these days. But I'm restless tonight, it's a warm humid evening and I can't settle. I get tired of tossing and turning in bed and get up, splash cold water on my face before sitting at the window seat. There's a slight breeze coming in as I wait for Danny. I wonder how long we'll continue the way we are. If he'll ever desire me again? Maybe the relationship has run it's course and he doesn't want me, not physically.
I think about the conversation I had with John days back. He's convinced Danny loves me and Danny has never told me otherwise but perhaps, maybe he has found someone else. John loved two people, so could Danny. Maybe it just got too hard, maybe Laka's death, looking at his fathers relationship showed him something he doesn't want to go through. His father is mourning a man in a society that doesn't accept or recognise him as anything other than an expendable. A slave is easily replaced by another.
Danny interrupts my musings as he comes to bed, quietly entering the room and closing the door behind him before he starts in surprise, finding me awake and out of bed.
"I thought you'd be asleep," he says with a small smile, crossing the room as he starts unbuttoning his shirt. "It's long past curfew."
He would never question my being awake before but now it feels like he expects me to be sleeping when he comes to bed himself. Like it's strange I'd be waiting for his arrival. I shift in my seat and push myself to stand.
"I couldn't sleep," I shrug, walking closer to the bed. "Do you need help?"
I want to peel away his clothes and kiss every inch of skin but he shakes his head, looking amused.
"I think I can manage," he says with a small roll of his eyes like I'm silly for suggesting I help him undress.
I suddenly feel too naked around him, I've never worn anything to bed but now I feel I should be covered up.
"Of course you can Sir," I say apologetically, turning away and pulling back the bed covers.
"You okay?" he asks and I don't look at him, nodding quickly.
"Yes Sir," I reply, sliding onto the mattress and pulling the bed covers up over me. It's still too warm and usually I'd kick away the sheets but tonight I don't want to be on show.
"Thought you were too hot," he observes knowingly as he finishes undressing.
"I've cooled down," I say, turning onto my side away from him and trying to get comfortable. It's going to be a long night, once he's in bed I'm going to have to be still. He hates it when I'm unsettled and restless, it keeps him awake.
"You sure everything is okay?" he asks and the bed dips as he sits on it. I hear a 'chink' as he sets his watch down on the bedside cabinet.
"Yes Sir, everything is fine," I reply. Though it isn't and I've no idea how to broach the subject with him.
"Okay now I know something is wrong," Danny gives a small laugh. "That's the third time you've called me 'Sir' in the past five minutes and you're never that formal unless I'm pissed off at you. Especially not in the bedroom. What's going on?"
"Nothing, it's nothing Danny," I tell him, wishing he'd let the matter drop.
"Has someone said something to you? Is it dad?" The bed dips again and I know he's looking over at me.
I lie still and press my lips together not wanting to speak. Unfortunately I don't have that kind of control to choose to stay silent.
"Steve, look at me," Danny says in a voice that warns me he's not gving me an option. I roll over at look at him hoping I'm conveying a blank expression. He's close, watching me keenly.
"What's going on?" he asks again.
"It isn't anything," I lie, hoping to keep my expression blank. "I'm just restless is all."
He isn't convinced and stares me out until I drop my eyes. He doesn't pull away though and I feel his eyes studying me.
"Talk to me," he says gently, trying to coax me into speaking. I really don't know how to broach the subject. "Is it me? Have I done something, said something to upset you?"
I feel conflicted, I've no right to be questioning his actions, how he treats me. Yet he's ordering me to convey my thoughts and it's ingrained in me to obey him, no matter the consequences.
"It's nothing," I start, struggling to find words that won't make me sound selfish. "It's just, you don't touch me anymore."
"What?" he says, sounding confused. I don't blame him, after all his hand is on my shoulder right now.
"You don't want me any more Danny," I try to explain, but really I feel like I'm digging a hole I can't get out of.
"What the hell are you talking about?" he asks, fingers stroking my jaw and tilting my chin a little to make me look at him.
I swallow down, look at him in the eye and feel terrible for saying such a thing. He looks hurt by the accusation and equally desperate to understand what is going on in my head so he can fix the problem.
"Why would you think that?" he says in a low voice.
"This is the closest we've been in bed since you came home," I reply equally as quiet.
He blinks in surprise and draws back a little, mouth opening as if to argue but I see the realisation in his eyes as he starts to understand what I'm talking about. He pulls away and I'm scared I've said too much, expect too much from him. He turns away from me and runs a hand through his hair as he sighs, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.
I sit up, wondering what to do now. He doesn't say anything more and I feel uncomfortable, like I'm intruding on his space. I don't know what I expected my words to spur on but I had hoped rather than pull away he'd attempt to assure me I was wrong. Evidently I'm not and have a sinking feeling deep inside that I can't salvage what we once had.
"Do you want me to go?" I ask him, shifting to move from the bed.
"Fuck, no," he says sharply, shaking his head. "No I don't want you to go. Fuck Steven."
He leans forward, head in his hands and I'm surprised, shocked even but I don't move away any more. Instead I push away the covers and move closer to him, tentatively putting a hand on his shoudler and when he doesn't shrug me off, I get closer. Sitting behind him, I rest against him, hands running up and down his arms as I lay my face against his neck.
"I'm sorry," I whisper against his skin. I'm confused and feel guilty for causing him more upset. He's had to deal with a lot these last few months and doesn't need me adding to his problems.
"You've got nothing to apologise for," he sighs, sitting up a little and leaning back against me. "I've not meant to make you feel unwanted baby."
"It's selfish of me to be thinking it," I reply, feeling terrible. We shouldn't be having this conversation, I've overstepped a mark. "I expect more than I rightly should."
"No you don't," Danny shakes his head and puts a hand over mine as I hold his arm. "I didn't mean it to become like this. You know when I was at Dad's all I could think of was coming home and being with you again. Then when Laka died and I had to watch Dad grieve in silence, in secret. It made me so angry. He loved him so much, he misses him so much. I admit when I came home, I was so tired, so drained I just didn't physically want you right then. I put it down to the grief. And then it's like I thought, I thought if I could have you, still love you but at a distance, I don't know, maybe it would be easier."
"It wasn't easier for your dad," I remind him. His father and Laka had a complicated love, John's marrying and loving another man didn't change the fact he also loved Laka. It didn't make Laka's death any easier for him to deal with.
"I know," Danny nods in agreement. "But the longer we went without the harder it became to reach out to you. I started convincing myself it was for the best."
"Maybe it would be for the best," I reply, not letting go of him. "This isn't the easiest of relationships Danny. Nobody will ever recognise it for what it is and that can't be easy for you. I can't imagine how difficult it is for you to attend places, socialise alone and not be able to share what we have with other people."
"I don't want the easy way out Steve and it isn't easy for you either," he assures me, fingers squeezing mine. "I do love you."
"I love you too Master," I say, mouth pressed against his skin so the words can sink in along with my hot breath. I want to imprint it on him, how much I mean it and feel it.
"Show me," he whispers and I feel him shaking just a little in my arms.
Danny is never vulnerable, in the years he's been my owner I've never seen him show weakness. But Laka's death seems to have broken him a fraction, enough to show all of us that underneath the strength and strong valued Master we love is a man who can be hurt. A man who can become lost and frustrated by things beyond his control. It's made us all rally round all the more to protect him these last few months, until he's back to his normal self.
I hold him a little tighter, hands sliding from his arms over his chest, his body is a little different after the weight loss though he's almost back to what I remember. It doesn't matter, he's still Danny. I press my lips against his skin as his fingers momentarily tangle with mine and I smile at the feel as he finally, after what has been months, finally responds to me. He doesn't push me away or make me feel like I've somehow offended him by daring to touch. Instead he leans back against me, fingers dragging mine downwards and my mouth curls into a smile as he silently urges me to touch him.
Both our hands wrap around his cock, he isn't hard yet but there isn't any rush. I can feel him start to respond and he shifts his head, his free hand reaching back to run into my hair as I trace my tongue along his neck to his ear.
"Steve," he whispers and it's like a plea of help. I pull back, take my hand off his cock and squeeze his fingers, urging him to focus a moment.
"Lie down," I say gently, shifting back and pulling at him so we can get more comfortable.
I feel a little nervous, it's never been like this before, Danny always takes the lead in how we make love but right now he needs me too. He moves back onto the bed, lying down getting comfortable and there's a need in his eyes. I suspect he thinks he may have fucked everything up and I lay against him, skin on skin just holding each other to convey that I still want him. Nothing has changed, it's just taken us some time to get back to this and he has his reasons. I can understand why he may have yearned to make it easier for himself, for me. But I'm learning love isn't supposed to be easy.
I kiss him, soft and tentative and feel his hands rubbing up and down my back before his arms wrap tighter around me, holding me close. His power and control is there, just under the surface and I'm going to have to coax it out of him but for now I'm happy to oblige in giving him what he needs of me. I take my time and savour the moment after what has been months of being kept at a distance. He opens his legs, a foot anchoring just above the back of my knee as I press close, our cocks sliding together. He moans softly against my mouth and I swallow the sound down gladly as I start to rock gently against him.
My own pleasure burns slowly, I want this to last. My cock twitches against his with the friction as he starts to move with me. Small upward rolls of his hips as I grind down against him, his leg tight around mine not letting me move too far away. His fingers slide into my hair, his other hand grasping my ass and I pull out of the kiss to look at him. This Danny I've missed, the one who loses himself in the pleasures we create together. He stares back at me, expression full of possession and he may not be his normal self but that looks reminds me I'm owned wholly and completely by him.
He gasps sharply, a smile of lust edging his lips as his fingers tighten their grip on my body.
"Fuck baby," he growls, pulling me back down into a kiss. It's all teeth and tongue, his passion is being fuelled as I urge it back into life.
Both his hands slide to my hips and he starts rocking upwards in a better rhythm, urging me with pressing fingers to fall into the same pace. I'm breathless myself now and we both breath harshly against each others lips as our cocks slide hard and leaking against one another.
"Steve," he chokes out and he doesn't need to ask or order.
I lean back, a hand planted into the matress by his head as I push up enough to get a hand between our bodies. His hands don't loosen their grip on my hips as I wrap a clumsy fist around our cocks. We both groan from the tightness as we thrust against one another, chasing the same completion. We stare at one another, he's smiling and I know I'm looking equally as happy back at him. We've both needed this. His eyes flicker closed for a moment, mouth twisting as he draws closer to his edge.
"Fuck, fuck Steve, baby" he chokes out and I can feel his hips grinding hard up against mine as he starts to lose focus. I tighten my hold on our cocks and give him that little extra he needs to fall, watching him closely as he gasps and bucks up against me. He moans low, lost to the pleasure and my fingers become slick and wet from his come as it threads out over his stomach. His hips keep rolling upwards gently as the pleasure floods through him.
He sucks in deep breaths and groans softly, satisfied murmuring under his breath as his body comes down from the high. He's stilled under me and I loosen my hold, fingers sticky and wet. I watch him as he starts to refocus, blinking and looking more relaxed than I've seen him in a long while. His hands release their tight grip of my hips and rub up along my sides as he smiles. I try to roll off him but he stills me, pushing my hand away and wrapping his own fist around my cock instead.
His thumb rubs against the head with a hard insistence and I groan at the feel. Fuck I've missed him touching me, he knows how to slowly pick me apart. He pulls me down for a kiss, soft and gentle as his thumb rubs again and I pant out a moan against his lips.
"Danny," I gasp out and grind against his touch but he's teasing me now, hand moving with me so I don't create much friction.
"Sshh, been a while baby," Danny whispers, his other hand sliding through my hair as he smiles at me. "Let me take care of you."
I still and wait, surrendering as always to his control. His breath is hot against my lips and his tongue flicks out to lick at my mouth, inviting me closer again as his fist finally starts to move up and down my cock. It's gentle, slow and I groan again, frustrated but trusting he won't make me suffer too long. He pushes me lightly, breaking the gentle kiss so he can watch me instead.
His fingers don't tighten and the grip is a teasing caress as his thumb rubs into the head again, making me shudder and moan. I can't focus on him and squeeze my eyes shut, resisting the urge to start rocking into his grip.
"Yeah this is what you need isn't it," Danny says softly. "Fuck you're beautiful like this baby."
His free hand glides along my skin with a tender stroking as he continues to jack me off.
"Danny," I choke out, desperate. I've waited too long to be held again the way he's holding me, touching me. "Please."
His hand leaves my back and instead strokes gently against my cheek. I open my eyes to look at him, prepared to start really begging if he doesn't do something soon. Thankfully it doesn't come to that as he smiles up at me, hand tightening and starting to jack me off faster. I groan and try and hold myself still, wanting nothing more than thrust into that tight grip but I know he'll get me there. My fingers grip into his shoulder and I pant and gasp feeling the tightness in the back of my thighs, my hips.
He's watching me with an intensity now, my Master in complete command and it's with a final rub of his thumb that I'm thrown off the edge. I can't help myself from rolling my hips into his grip as I come, light fizzing on the edge of my vision as I groan out his name, cock spasming between his fingers. His grip becomes even slicker as my come covers his hand and spurts onto his stomach.
I manage to lower myself to his side as I let myself down, but we're a tangle of limbs and sticky mess as we both lay there and breathe deep.
"Gods I'm a fucking idiot," Danny sighs as I throw an arm over his chest and bury my face into his neck.
"Hmmm," I reply non commitedly. He is an idiot but he had his reasons to want to keep me at arms length. "We should clean up."
I go to pull away but he pulls me back to him. "In a minute. Stay close for a little while."
I may have gotten a glimpse of the Master I know him to be in our love making but his voice and the way he holds me, reminds me he isn't back to his normal self yet. But we've just made love and I can hold him again now, lie close and feel him near without it feeling like we're two strangers to one another. So I stay close, holding him and don't move until I feel his breath evening out and he drifts off to sleep. I leave him only to fetch a damp cloth to gently wipe over his stomach and he stirs but not enough to waking as I wipe away the evidence of our love making. Dumping the cloth I lay back down, close and content beside him, thankful to have my Master back.