Problems in N-Dimensional space

I hate Microsquashy Outlook.

I had lots of useful filters set up, and a handy little out-of-office macro to identify any mail addressed directly to me, and forward it to my Yahoo account. Clearly it all worked, because none of the usual drizzle of drivel from Corporate Communications, Maintenance, Global Communications and internal propaganda reached my Yahoo mailbox while I was on holiday.

I came back, logged in, fired up Outlook, and found over two hundred mails in my Inbox; I clicked the 'OOK' to switch off out-of-Office... and watched the pile slowly shrink away to just two messages, relevant, urgent, and addressed to me directly. A moment passed, they flickered, and turned up in the 'Sent Items' folder with a 'forwarded' marker.

Then it dawned on me: 'Out-Of-Office' has been set up by our administrator to be client-side only. That is to say, it doesn't run on the Exchange server.

Still with me?

Okaaayyy, let's-spell-it-out-slowly: Out-Of-Office filtering and forwarding only runs when I come into the office, log in, and start up Outlook.

And now my Yahoo account is clogged with cobblers, and I can't get at it from here because webmail sites are blocked... Assuming, of course, that my profile allows macros and scripts to send or forward mail at all: some people can, some people can't.


Memorable conversations from my holiday in Somerset, #1:

Q: 'Ow is it, that you're so rich and famous..?
A: (Me) Duh?
Q: Oi means, Oi seeeez yurrr name ev'ry toime Oi 'ave breakfast, roight?
A: WTF? * puzzled *
Q: Look 'ee 'ere on the bread Oi uses furrr the toast:
A: Wot?
Q: There, on the pack-a-ging: THICK CUT
A: * Reads carefully and doesn't get it *