308 romance (yeah, I know it's late)
Title: How To Seduce Your Boss (No Really, How Do You Do It?)
Author: ingvild
Characters/Pairings: Sally/Une, mention of Noin/Zechs, Wufei/Catherine, Relena/Heero. Mariemaia.
Rating/word count: Teen, 1 344 words (yikes!).
Summary: Sally decides to seduce her boss. For great justice!
Warning: Romance…is not my strongest genre.
A/N: As usual, I’m using “Lady” as Une’s first name, not a title.
It all began when Agents Smith and Jones broke up. It probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference if they just hadn’t done the breaking up while they were on a mission, and ended up endangering the person they’d been assigned to protect. Who just happened to be the President’s nephew. After three hours on the phone with the President, reassuring him that yes she’d make sure that her agents would act more professionally in the future, Commander Lady Une walked out of her office with fire in her eyes. The message was clear: Not only would the two agents in question spend the next two years cleaning sweaty equipment, if they didn’t resign right away, but there would be no more in-office romances.
There was a great deal of grumbling about that last one. Once the message reached Mars, Sally got an angry phone call from Noin, wherein the deputy Chief of the Mars Faction of Preventer’s made it quite clear that she had just gotten Zechs to the point where he neither could nor wanted to run off again, and could Sally please do something about this, or else the two of them would both quit. Knowing full well that as the most senior agent on Earth she would probably be asked to take over the Mars Faction, Sally agreed to do something.
Now the problem was just what.
“Logic won’t work”, Wufei said when she brought up the topic. “Logically, there are a lot of good reasons to forbid office romances. In addition to what happened with those two idiots, there’s the risk of nepotism, position abuse and being blinded by emotion.”
“Easy for you to say,” Sally muttered. “Your girlfriend isn’t in the Preventers, so you avoid the whole hassle.”
“Another good reason to date her,” Wufei said calmly.
“What are the other good reasons?” Sally asked curiously. She had been wondering a little about her partner’s relationship with Catherine Bloom.
“She’s clever, loyal, and knows about my past so there’s no need to lie to her,” Wufei replied calmly. Then he smirked. “And she’s an acrobat.”
Sally wasn’t sure whether or not she couldn’t have done without the mental images that comment brought on. However, her talk with Wufei only confirmed her suspicions that calm discussion with Une would not bring about the desired results. She had to try something else.
She would have to seduce her boss.
Now, the only question was how.
Over the next few days, Sally tried and discarded several methods. Wearing the skirt version of her uniform in order to show some leg, under the pretext that she needed to practice for an occasion when she’d have to wear the more formal uniform, brought attention from a lot of people, but not the woman whose attention she sought. After a whole day of hearing Wufei pointedly clear his throat every time she forgot to sit with her knees together, she decided that skirts were an invention of the Devil and she would not use them any longer.
She tried more makeup, but was only reminded why she only wore lipstick – anything else looked almost grotesque on her.
She tried the “charm her kid”-route – Mariemaia just looked at her pointedly and said that if she wanted Lady’s attention, she’d have to be honest and direct about it.
She tried to invite her boss out after work, hoping to get her in a more alcohol-induced receptive mood – but felt so dirty afterwards that she was glad when Une declined with the reason that she had to catch up on paperwork.
In despair, she went to seek advice.
“How on Earth do you seduce the second most over-serious, famous, workaholic women in the Earth Sphere?” she complained.
Heero peered at her from behind the four-times-as-large-as-normal rabbit cage he was installing an anti-grav unit on (she didn’t want to know why). “You’re asking me?”
“Yes! After all, you seduced the most serious, famous, workaholic woman in the Earth Sphere.”
Heero started checking the chains that tethered the huge rabbit cage to the ground. “Sally, I’m still trying to figure out if I’m anti-social or just socially awkward. I had my first handshake when I was fifteen. I’m engaged to the first person my own age I ever spoke to. And I think my houseplant is giving me subliminal relationship advice. I have no idea how I ended up in the situation I’m in. I certainly didn’t try any kind of seduction. I barely know what seduction is.” He paused, then addressed someone over his shoulder: “Maybe you can tell her?”
Relena smiled that gentle smile that made even her political opponents feel calm and secure. “I could try. Sally, will you walk with me?”
As they left Heero to his better unexplained strange experiments, Sally complained, “I have no idea what to do.”
Relena was quiet for a few moments before she said: “May I ask why you’re doing this?”
Sally looked at her questioningly.
“Are you only doing this to repel the anti-fraternization rule?” Relena clarified.
Sally sighed. “I thought so, but…well…look at her, damn it. The woman is gorgeous, and brilliant, and has that commanding presence – I have no idea why people aren’t knocking each other over trying to get to her.”
“They might be feeling intimidated,” Relena suggested. She was quiet for a few moments before she continued: “Do you know what first attracted me to Heero?”
“The spandex?” Sally suggested.
Relena chuckled. “The spandex was nice, but no, that wasn’t it. It was the way he looked at me and didn’t call me ‘miss’.”
Sally blinked at her.
Relena continued. “Heero sees me as a person first, and a symbol a distant second. I imagine Une is looking for something similar. Remember, though, she hasn’t had much luck with relationships. Stop thinking ‘seduction’. Start thinking ‘connection’. That would probably help.”
“She told me…” Sally muttered.
“Who told you what?”
“Mariemaia. She told me. I thought she was just telling me off. Mi…I mean, Relena, I’m sorry, but I have to go.”
“Good luck,” Relena called after her as she set off in a quick jog. Sally gave her a wave back before focusing on getting to her car.
Mariemaia opened the door when Sally got there. She gave her that look that was far too knowing for someone not yet twelve, and told her to come in and sit down.
“Lady’s in the bathroom. You’ll be nice to her, won’t you?”
Sally blinked. The girl certainly didn’t mince words. “I’ll try, Mei-Mei,” she replied.
Mariemaia flushed a little at the nickname, half in embarrassment and half in pleasure. When Une came out into the living room, she excused herself and went to her room, saying she had homework.
Sally cleared her throat. “Commander, I’m here to ask you not to make the anti-fraternization rule formal.”
Une raised an elegant eyebrow. “Really.”
“Yes, ma’am. I believe that it’s detrimental to morale, and it means that even more people will be open for seduction by people who want to get to our secrets. I believe you should make couple’s counseling obligatory instead, and set up a separate board of inquiry to deal with allegations of power abuse. Perhaps make it a part of human resources.”
“I know this hasn’t made me very popular,” Une said quietly. “And I know that we’re not fully military, and that the military had been turning a blind eye for centuries anyway. But what do we do if someone destroys their sanity trying to please their beloved? What do we do if someone looses their lover?”
“That could happen anyway, though,” Sally said. “Besides, you made it through that and are healthier than ever… Lady.”
Une stared at her at the sound of her first name. Her dark eyes seemed larger than ever. “Did I? I feel broken.”
“You’re not,” Sally whispered. “Shall I prove it to you?”
Une was quiet for a long time, before she quietly murmured: “Please.”
Author: ingvild
Characters/Pairings: Sally/Une, mention of Noin/Zechs, Wufei/Catherine, Relena/Heero. Mariemaia.
Rating/word count: Teen, 1 344 words (yikes!).
Summary: Sally decides to seduce her boss. For great justice!
Warning: Romance…is not my strongest genre.
A/N: As usual, I’m using “Lady” as Une’s first name, not a title.
It all began when Agents Smith and Jones broke up. It probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference if they just hadn’t done the breaking up while they were on a mission, and ended up endangering the person they’d been assigned to protect. Who just happened to be the President’s nephew. After three hours on the phone with the President, reassuring him that yes she’d make sure that her agents would act more professionally in the future, Commander Lady Une walked out of her office with fire in her eyes. The message was clear: Not only would the two agents in question spend the next two years cleaning sweaty equipment, if they didn’t resign right away, but there would be no more in-office romances.
There was a great deal of grumbling about that last one. Once the message reached Mars, Sally got an angry phone call from Noin, wherein the deputy Chief of the Mars Faction of Preventer’s made it quite clear that she had just gotten Zechs to the point where he neither could nor wanted to run off again, and could Sally please do something about this, or else the two of them would both quit. Knowing full well that as the most senior agent on Earth she would probably be asked to take over the Mars Faction, Sally agreed to do something.
Now the problem was just what.
“Logic won’t work”, Wufei said when she brought up the topic. “Logically, there are a lot of good reasons to forbid office romances. In addition to what happened with those two idiots, there’s the risk of nepotism, position abuse and being blinded by emotion.”
“Easy for you to say,” Sally muttered. “Your girlfriend isn’t in the Preventers, so you avoid the whole hassle.”
“Another good reason to date her,” Wufei said calmly.
“What are the other good reasons?” Sally asked curiously. She had been wondering a little about her partner’s relationship with Catherine Bloom.
“She’s clever, loyal, and knows about my past so there’s no need to lie to her,” Wufei replied calmly. Then he smirked. “And she’s an acrobat.”
Sally wasn’t sure whether or not she couldn’t have done without the mental images that comment brought on. However, her talk with Wufei only confirmed her suspicions that calm discussion with Une would not bring about the desired results. She had to try something else.
She would have to seduce her boss.
Now, the only question was how.
Over the next few days, Sally tried and discarded several methods. Wearing the skirt version of her uniform in order to show some leg, under the pretext that she needed to practice for an occasion when she’d have to wear the more formal uniform, brought attention from a lot of people, but not the woman whose attention she sought. After a whole day of hearing Wufei pointedly clear his throat every time she forgot to sit with her knees together, she decided that skirts were an invention of the Devil and she would not use them any longer.
She tried more makeup, but was only reminded why she only wore lipstick – anything else looked almost grotesque on her.
She tried the “charm her kid”-route – Mariemaia just looked at her pointedly and said that if she wanted Lady’s attention, she’d have to be honest and direct about it.
She tried to invite her boss out after work, hoping to get her in a more alcohol-induced receptive mood – but felt so dirty afterwards that she was glad when Une declined with the reason that she had to catch up on paperwork.
In despair, she went to seek advice.
“How on Earth do you seduce the second most over-serious, famous, workaholic women in the Earth Sphere?” she complained.
Heero peered at her from behind the four-times-as-large-as-normal rabbit cage he was installing an anti-grav unit on (she didn’t want to know why). “You’re asking me?”
“Yes! After all, you seduced the most serious, famous, workaholic woman in the Earth Sphere.”
Heero started checking the chains that tethered the huge rabbit cage to the ground. “Sally, I’m still trying to figure out if I’m anti-social or just socially awkward. I had my first handshake when I was fifteen. I’m engaged to the first person my own age I ever spoke to. And I think my houseplant is giving me subliminal relationship advice. I have no idea how I ended up in the situation I’m in. I certainly didn’t try any kind of seduction. I barely know what seduction is.” He paused, then addressed someone over his shoulder: “Maybe you can tell her?”
Relena smiled that gentle smile that made even her political opponents feel calm and secure. “I could try. Sally, will you walk with me?”
As they left Heero to his better unexplained strange experiments, Sally complained, “I have no idea what to do.”
Relena was quiet for a few moments before she said: “May I ask why you’re doing this?”
Sally looked at her questioningly.
“Are you only doing this to repel the anti-fraternization rule?” Relena clarified.
Sally sighed. “I thought so, but…well…look at her, damn it. The woman is gorgeous, and brilliant, and has that commanding presence – I have no idea why people aren’t knocking each other over trying to get to her.”
“They might be feeling intimidated,” Relena suggested. She was quiet for a few moments before she continued: “Do you know what first attracted me to Heero?”
“The spandex?” Sally suggested.
Relena chuckled. “The spandex was nice, but no, that wasn’t it. It was the way he looked at me and didn’t call me ‘miss’.”
Sally blinked at her.
Relena continued. “Heero sees me as a person first, and a symbol a distant second. I imagine Une is looking for something similar. Remember, though, she hasn’t had much luck with relationships. Stop thinking ‘seduction’. Start thinking ‘connection’. That would probably help.”
“She told me…” Sally muttered.
“Who told you what?”
“Mariemaia. She told me. I thought she was just telling me off. Mi…I mean, Relena, I’m sorry, but I have to go.”
“Good luck,” Relena called after her as she set off in a quick jog. Sally gave her a wave back before focusing on getting to her car.
Mariemaia opened the door when Sally got there. She gave her that look that was far too knowing for someone not yet twelve, and told her to come in and sit down.
“Lady’s in the bathroom. You’ll be nice to her, won’t you?”
Sally blinked. The girl certainly didn’t mince words. “I’ll try, Mei-Mei,” she replied.
Mariemaia flushed a little at the nickname, half in embarrassment and half in pleasure. When Une came out into the living room, she excused herself and went to her room, saying she had homework.
Sally cleared her throat. “Commander, I’m here to ask you not to make the anti-fraternization rule formal.”
Une raised an elegant eyebrow. “Really.”
“Yes, ma’am. I believe that it’s detrimental to morale, and it means that even more people will be open for seduction by people who want to get to our secrets. I believe you should make couple’s counseling obligatory instead, and set up a separate board of inquiry to deal with allegations of power abuse. Perhaps make it a part of human resources.”
“I know this hasn’t made me very popular,” Une said quietly. “And I know that we’re not fully military, and that the military had been turning a blind eye for centuries anyway. But what do we do if someone destroys their sanity trying to please their beloved? What do we do if someone looses their lover?”
“That could happen anyway, though,” Sally said. “Besides, you made it through that and are healthier than ever… Lady.”
Une stared at her at the sound of her first name. Her dark eyes seemed larger than ever. “Did I? I feel broken.”
“You’re not,” Sally whispered. “Shall I prove it to you?”
Une was quiet for a long time, before she quietly murmured: “Please.”