just something i need to get off my chest or i won't be able to work any more today.

I don't believe in "never." We don't define it the same way. It's just one of the many places where the two of us can't meet, and right now I just don't want to say it will always be like this. When you say I will "never" love you the way you should be loved, or I will "never" be the person you need me to be, or you will "never" be happy with me, you'll have to see it from a place where "never" doesn't exist: in fifty years I will be able to think of you without regret. In a hundred years or so I will be old enough to send you a gift or a letter without fearing to death that I'll never get an answer. In another hundred years I can pass you by on the street without feeling like an unanswered letter inside me is being ripped to shreds. In five hundred I can even stop, say "hello" and shake your hand, ask you how you're doing and listen to what you'll tell me. And in around a thousand years, I can take you into my arms and say the words I've had difficulty saying at all the right times, in all the places where we could comfortably meet. Can you wait for me? In a thousand years we'll see each other again. I'll be a completely different person, and I'll be exactly the person you need. There is no such thing as "never." I'm still trying. You can still be happy with me.