temporary insanity perhaps?

If there was one thing I could take back this is it. I've been a victim many times, but I was violent once. I was 17, my brother was 10. My mother was really really struggling to make bill. It was close to christmas. I was doing dishes and my brother came in to show me what he was going to ask for for christmas. $3000.00 gift. I slapped him. Hard. Across the face. I didn't want my mom feeling guilty. She tried so hard to give us everything we wanted. It's no excuse. 5 years later I still think about it. I wonder if it ever really happened, I don't think I could have. It doesn't sound like me. I wonder if maybe it was a dream I had and thought maybe it was real. But I know I really did this. My brother doesn't remember. That leaves me as the only witness to the crime. The only one allowed to forgive and forget, since I was the only one there who remembers. but I can't do that. I feel one day that "violent me" might come back. I worry about it, alot.

I didn't mean to. I wasn't thinking anything. I don't know where this came from. I was like something else was controling my body, and I was only watching in horror. But that answer seems too simple.