Valid complaints
Robin Hanson in Overcoming Bias discusses gender differences in complaining: "the politically correct theory, that women have worse lives, seems both wrong and biased." Kowalski's 1996 review of complaining suggests that Hanson is correct in observing that women complain more. However, it is suggested both speaker's and listener's impression of a statement as a "complaint" may vary according to gender. Kowalski (2002) also examines the positive aspects of complaining. Hanson's assertion that "women complain more [than men]" may have some truth to it.
Most of the study of complaining has involved married couples -- opposite-sex interaction. (Hanson's observations seem to focus more on same-sex interaction.) Fishman (1978) suggested that "women do more conversational work" than men. Stets and Burke (1996) also analyzed tapes of married couples, and found that the women used more negative strategies than the men. Flora and Segrin (2000) found that in married couples, complaining from wives had a greater negative effect on couple satisfaction than complaining from husbands. In fact, the correlations found by Flora and Segrin suggested that the lower wife-talk was, the higher satisfaction was.
Before I started writing this blog, I probably would have agreed with Robin Hanson that women didn't have worse lives than men. Not only was I exceptionally lucky when I was living as a woman, but I tend to assume that any hardship is easier on me than it would be on someone else -- a particularly insidious piece of egotism. However, after the reading I've done for the eighty (wow!) posts I've written here, I have to conclude that: actually, women do have it harder. Women have more medical problems and receive worse care, they receive less pay for the same work, they do the bulk of both child-rearing and housework, and have less free time than men, which they receive less satisfaction from. So I ask: exactly where do men have it worse?
Most of the study of complaining has involved married couples -- opposite-sex interaction. (Hanson's observations seem to focus more on same-sex interaction.) Fishman (1978) suggested that "women do more conversational work" than men. Stets and Burke (1996) also analyzed tapes of married couples, and found that the women used more negative strategies than the men. Flora and Segrin (2000) found that in married couples, complaining from wives had a greater negative effect on couple satisfaction than complaining from husbands. In fact, the correlations found by Flora and Segrin suggested that the lower wife-talk was, the higher satisfaction was.
Before I started writing this blog, I probably would have agreed with Robin Hanson that women didn't have worse lives than men. Not only was I exceptionally lucky when I was living as a woman, but I tend to assume that any hardship is easier on me than it would be on someone else -- a particularly insidious piece of egotism. However, after the reading I've done for the eighty (wow!) posts I've written here, I have to conclude that: actually, women do have it harder. Women have more medical problems and receive worse care, they receive less pay for the same work, they do the bulk of both child-rearing and housework, and have less free time than men, which they receive less satisfaction from. So I ask: exactly where do men have it worse?